Weekly Family Stories Thread

Weekly Family Stories Thread

Share stories, discuss, or ask for advice about your family.

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How has the week been Chris?

Pretty decent. Had a bit of a shock because she was late but it turned out to be a false alarm.

Late for what? Orgig

I need more details Chris. How did it go down?

Sorry, fell back asleep.

Earlier this week she told me her period was late. We had a bit of a freakout so I went and got a pregnancy test and it showed she wasn't.

Did you feel happy or sad about these results?

How fast will couch get banned this week?

Well then, happy almost Father's Day.

I could see the concern, you and your wife Karen tend to go at it a good amount of times a week. just coming off of summer vacation hows everyone doing?

lets be honest she's probably making out with him in bed with his erection pressed against her tummy reaching up to her belly button.

Hard to say. A little disappointed but happy and sad I guess for different reasons.

I like reading her stories so I hope not. Couch if you read this make sure to mix up your images this week. There is a reason I don't post images often.

Besides the event, pretty good. We are gonna go out today and have a kinda swimming/picnic thing together. She is making our lunch and I'm putting off getting the cooler and toys together.

You're clearly not working hard enough at getting a free trip to jail.

It is sad that we live in a time when fucking guys in the ass, getting your dick chopped off, pumping your body full of drugs so you can fuck as many people as you want, force your child into having their bodies pumped full of estrogen, and so on are all okay and if you oppose them you are slandered but if you have actual love for your sibling and it causes no trouble to anyone around you it is a punishable crime.

Sounds like you have an agenda.

I just think that what happens between 2 consenting adults shouldn't be anyone's business.

Then why do you care about non-heterosexual relationships, transpeople, or those who are more sexually promiscuous than you?

Ignore me if you don't care about trashy visual novels.

Ughhhh the student council pres route in Wagamama is so conflicting. So much fucking good stuff in the lead up and the route itself had some cute shit, heart was fucking exploding at some points. But then the writing got really weird, MC and pres started acting like different people in a bad way, the "arcs" got kinda stupid, and a couple of the sex scenes made me angry. Heck the game stopped being cute and fun and turned into a nukige, the non-porn version must have a really shitty and abrupt ending. Apparently five different people wrote the main route and the four girls routes, and I'm like... just go back and let the main route guy rewrite the president's route, it was so good and they push her as the default girl anyway. Ugh. Also the sex scenes are weird and too long when you're with your brother and not trying to masturbate. I like how the artist draws boobs though. Except one scene made me wish I was bigger which almost never happens lol.

So uhhhhh don't even really wanna do other routes except to see if the other writers did better, and because my brother wants to see the imouto. The other two girls I kinda like, Karen (lol) and the teacher don't have routes except in an untranslated fandisc so blehhhhhhhhh. Oh yeah also they keep bringing attention to the fact that the president HATES condoms and keeps getting creampied but she's not pregnant even after the timeskip, I didn't realize that would make me so mad but it did.

Anyway... Real life is fine. I'm actually feeling okay after work lately, dunno what changed but it's nice. Trying to figure out what to do for my brother's birthday.

Couch where are youuuu.

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What he's saying is since we allow those guys to do what they want, with arguably consenting children in some occasions, why shouldn't we allow siblings to be together if they both consent?

Based on his language he has an agenda.

Hey Chris, only about a week left for the cruise, you ready?

And what might that agenta be then?

Ohh my.

I hope not. I was minding my own business, that was very rude.

I'm doing pretty good myself I had a pleasant week. Oniichan had it pretty tough though and I've been trying to spoil him to make him feel better.

We did kiss some and it did get a little out of hand but we didn't go too far or anything.

>dunno what change

You started getting dick again.

>we didn't go too far or anything
I give it 6 months max.

3 months or less

Never played a VN but I'm not bold enough to actually buy one of those. Glad you are having a nice week.

I am fully ready. Just have to actually do the packing. We have all the supplies we might need because I imagine getting soap, deodorant, sunblock, etc would be expensive on the cruise.

Yeah again just avoid posting repeat pictures.

I got yelled at for being lazy and not getting the other stuff ready. This weekend swimming is really fun and it is getting our skin nice and ready for the tropics. I'll let you guys know how today goes but I have to get to getting our stuff in order before I get yelled at again lol.

What's a little out of hand??
That's not... completely wrong, maybe...
VN's can be good, I thought I grew out of the porny ones but I guess I thought wrong. Have funnnnnnn on the cruissssssssse.

>I am fully ready
>proceeds to explain why he isn't fully ready
You deserved to be yelled at tbqh

Hi oneechan!

Other day
>get text saying he will be home late
>finally he gets home around 8
>he slams himself down on the couch and just sighs really loud
>take his boots off for him
>tell him I'll make him something to eat
>he says he isn't hungry
>goes and showers and plops himself back on the couch
>make some chicken nuggets and eat like 2 of them before I say I'm full and pass them to him
>he falls for my trick and accepts them
>end up going to bed
>decide to let him do something
>tell him that I want him to lay his head on my chest
>he is too tired to argue so he just scoots over and lays on his stomach and puts his head on me
>rub his head
>he ends up falling asleep pretty fast
>wraps his arm around me
>a little heavy but its not uncomfortable
>end up falling asleep
>woke up with his hand that was wrapped around me now on my chest
>feel a little flustered but don't do anything because he is sleeping so peacefully

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>Never played a VN
Oh shit, you're missing out. There's a lot of them that aren't even embarrassing to buy (let alone pirate), either because they don't have sex scenes or because they obviously have a lot of substance to them in addition to sex. Danganronpa and Saya no Uta would be a popular beginner friendly example of each, respectively.

So, you guys consider each other a couple or it kinda in this weird middleground between that and affectionate siblings?

I was drinking with him and there was some kissing, then some hugging and kissing and some pressure from a thing pushing up against a thing and it may have caused some wierd noises and movements and maybe things got a bit to rubby and something came out but I didn't see but I could feel something.

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Ugh I wish I was still cute and innocent like that.
I keep forgetting you're not actually 12 I was gonna yell at you for drinking also that's neat. I guess I'm not in the right state of mind because I wanna give you bad advice lol.

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My gf taught my 11yo niece how to shave her own pussy.

lol couch upgrades from a daki to an onahole.

couch how did your first with intercrucial sex fair?

That seems a bit early lol, is puberty hitting so early now?

Most girls start at 9 or 10

I drank with him because he had a long week and I thought it would help him relax to drink with him. You are still cute don't put yourself down. What advice were you going to give me?

I didn't know what was happening until after the fact and because he made a mess in his boxers he was incredibly embarrassed by it and I was embarrassed once I realized what happened.

Holy shit he came in his pants ahahaha holy shit, lol.

its cute you're both embarrised maybe its the the alcohol that lowers his inhibitions enough that this can happen, so deep down he wants to make love to you but he denies that feeling on the daily.

Uhh, that's nice of her.
OH WOW WOW I'm stupid and missed the part where he came. Holy shit. Ummm so how does the fact that you made him nut feel? I have no good advice I'm just thinking about what I would've done but I'm not you.

I have two nieces, non blood related, that find me attractive (they blush or get flustered whenever I'm around). They're FOB Asians (I'm Asian too) so they don't know English well. I want to teach them. The older one is nearly the age of consent, she just turned 15 a few days ago, however if I get into a relationship with her I fear the younger one may get jealous. How should I go about this relationship? We see each other every week so I don't want this to get awkward.

Also how should I teach them? IDK our actual native language very well, but I know they love anime so I plan on showing them some dubbed anime and video games.

hmmmm user just spend time with them normally, if they're crushing on you doting on them will Foster those feelings I guess don't let either one monopolize your time lest the other gets jealous and remember hold their hands.

I mean I know what he does in the bathroom so I know he has thought about it with me and to be honest I've thought about it a few times but actually seeing it happen is a huge difference. I guess I'm happy that he finds me attractive like that. I started dressing lighter around the house partially because its getting warmer but also because I know he likes my legs.

What a nice and caring sister
[Spoiler] are you okay if he wants to go further some day? [/spoiler]

>I know he likes my legs.
He will like every inch of you if he is a red blooded male

Just a tip but sometimes covering your legs in long socks or leggings can make it even sexier.

I wanna know what has happened with the user who was dating his sister's friend.

legs hips and thighs they all lead to the prize, the patrician choice

>I've thought about it a few times
So have you masturbated to him? Do you want him to fuck you?

Hey. Made my own thread about my own pretty severe family problems a couple days ago, guess it was considered Jow Forums and it got deleted. Still could use someone to talk to, but I don't want to fuck up someone elses thread. These also seem pretty incest heavy and I really don't need people telling me to fuck my family. But I'll talk if anyone cares.

We're really only like 50% incest at this point.

Maybe I'm not going to definitively answer that first part.
I know that eventually we are going to probably get to that point and do it but it is still early and it is really strange to try to do more because I don't know how and thinking about it makes me nervous. I'm just not ready yet and I think he knows that.

I know he likes my legs and butt more though. He has started just sleeping in boxers as of late and I don't know what to think of that.

Only the trips. Younare more than welcome to speak here user. You might get the occasional fuck your family but also some pretty good advice is given here sometimes.

Ok well I'll just paste my greentext from before I guess.
>Have twin
>Wanted to try an ancestry test for fun
>Convince twin to try a different test from a different company to see how legit they are
>Results come back, wildly different
>Think nothing of it, tests must be a scam
>I tell our mom who's out of state visiting family, she seems to think it's funny
>Tell our dad, also thinks it's funny but offers to get a proper paternity test arranged (I thought he was doing it as a joke)
>Long story short dad is not my dad, we're one of those "Twins with two dads" freak occurrences
>Mom stopped returning our messages and calls, was supposed to come home by now, have no idea where she is
>Dad's sadder than I've ever seen him and my twin wont talk to me and it's all my fault

Archive of my thread: desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/52903643/

Well I mean if they were your sibling before then why should it matter? You grew up as family so why should this suddenly be an issue. Sounds like your sibling needs to stop being petty.

you're welcome to share our expertice is getting you into relationships with your sister or your sisters friend

Holy shit that must really break a mans spirit, do you think she had sex with your dad as a way to mask the fact she was being unfaithfull? And it just backfired in a weird way?

>Long story short dad is not my dad, we're one of those "Twins with two dads" freak occurrences

I had no idea this was even a thing. Dad the cuck I guess?

Oh, my twin's starting to get over it, that's not so much the issue now. Just trying to deal with my upset father, my missing mom who I loved until recently and the fact that I don't feel like a human being anymore.
I don't know. As long as I've been alive and aware I thought they really loved each other. I wish she would fucking explain herself.

Thread theme:

Dedicated to the fat mexican Anonette and the master liar Couch, current holder of the "Todd Howard" award for biggest liars.

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I thought it was bullshit too. The first thing I learned about it was it happens a lot with dogs. Very dehumanizing.

Yo thanks for mixing up the tod images this week.

well fuck my shit up senpai. dunno what the fix is but to let everyone sort of digest the.news and decompress.

>cleaning dishes
>he comes over and tells me to go get dressed and that he is taking me to the movies


What are you going to watch?

I'd be very supporting of your father in a moment like that, and also, is your mom really pulling a "out to buy cigarretes" just like that? Damn. No predictions of when shes coming back then?

Trying my best. He's been either too angry to approach or so sad it makes me sad. I don't know how to talk to him anymore anyway, I'm not his kid, we don't even know whose kid I am, I only exist because mom fucked someone else. Mom is completely off the radar right now.

Hey I remember this thread. We were telling you it's not your fault and that your mother is a whore right? I also remember you not clearing up which twin was not your dad's.
Well that does it. Also technically you're still twins, albeit half. Do you actually look like each other or no?

At least both you and your half twin brother (aint that weird!) are old enough to take this sort of bombshell.

I said he's not my real dad in my greentext.
We don't really look much alike, different genders anyway.

You're not his kid, but he's still your dad. Not sharing DNA doesn't change the role he's played in your life.

He wants to see Godzilla. He said his friend told him it was good. I don't know though but I'll go spend time with him maybe we can go do something after.

Well don't be like your mom when you get married if thats the advice I can give, lol.

I don't feel old enough. Hell I wish I was younger so I wouldn't understand the implications of what our mom did.
Sure. But he's gotta resent me at least a little right?

I dont see why he would resent you, has he been a bad father through all the years you both didn't know that? If that were to happen to me I'd still see my children as my children no matter what happened, and I'm gonna assume he probably thinks the same.

Oh wow I fall asleep for two seconds and things got dark suddenly.
So like yeah it's nice knowing someone thinks you're attractive. But like, I still feel like you two could go either way. You don't HAVE to go down the same path as me and my bro/Chris and Karen, it's tough and annoying and you can still like your brother without it. But like you gotta just figure yourselves out I guess, idk.
Ummm, yeah. He's still your dad, he doesn't hate you unless he's shittier than your mom. Tell him and your sister?/brother? how you feel, not Jow Forums.

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Echoing what said - this isn't your fault, and if he's smart he should know that. If he honestly resents you just for the circumstances in which you were born he's kind of a shit dad.

I know but I am just saying that given how things are that it probably is going to happen eventually. It's just a wierd topic for me and it makes me nervous. Thank you for the support.

He's a great dad. I'm not saying he's gonna consciously choose to hate me now, but if he thinks about why I'm here right now and why I exist it's just gonna upset him right? I'm living evidence someone fucked his wife after they got married. I wouldn't even blame him or think it's that shitty of him, it just makes sense.
I'm just waiting for dad to calm down. I might be able to tell my twin now though.

user my stepdad was more of a father to me than my real father. When my brother was born he didn't treat me any different and still loved me with all his heart. I'm sure your dad still loves you but this will be a shock to him but again this is your mother's fault not yours.

I don't think its in your heart to have that sort of relation with your brother, you ought to set him up with a friend of yours. I'm not saying you should change how you two are, interact but I think he wants a relationship even though he wouldn't admit it/ seek one out

I don't know why I'm having trouble blaming mom instead of myself. I wanna talk to her face to face about everything, hopefully if that happens it'll help.
But thanks. I know he still loves me, I just don't feel like I deserve it anymore.

Dude your mom fucking around literally is not your fault. If it is the DNA thing well guess what you guys were messing around and got a result you didn't expect. It is a coincidence and nothing more. You didn't do the action with intention to cause harm so you should not feel bad for it. Cheer up.

tfw had a mental breakdown and now dad pretends none of the abuse happened and im trapped in a shitty foreign country with him again.

i want to run away somewhere in the american southwest and be homeless and do heroin NOW

Is there anyone you can call or ask for help about this?

Sister bombarded me with questions the next day after my date. I hung out with sis and ended up texting the friend a bunch and even video called her when I was in bed one night. Gonna bring her out tomorrow when I get off work.

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Good job my man, looks like we got you something nice going on huh?

Yeah. Thanks again for all the help guys.

Ok. I know that's right and it's not my fault and my dad still loves me, I know all this. I guess it's just a self-confidence issue now. I don't feel like I matter anymore. I know I do, it's just how it feels.

No offense but that is stupid. You are still worth something to them and I guarentee if you disappeared tomorrow they wouldn't rest until they found you. Go out and do something maybe with them to get your mind off things a bit. Sometimes you need to walk away from a problem for a bit so you can clear your head and figure it out.

You know what you should do? Find your mom by any means necessary and then, when you meet her face to face, give her a QUICK 1-2 1-1-2 1-2-3. That'll show her. She'd be flat on her back.

im proud of u!!!! so much!!!!!

Just let them do what they want. There is nothing wrong with them working towards it.

cringe roleplay thread
>tripfag/avatarfag circlejerk
yeah nah how about you take this to the relevant board?

How many times do you have to be taught this lesson old man?

YOU MATTER UGH. Your family loves you, go let them love you and love them. You didn't do anything. Go vent to your twin and have a good cry or something whatever helps.
Yay. Have fun.
Okay well, be ready for things to happen I guess.

I think I know what I'm doing for my brother's birthday. Unrelated question how safe are safe days actually.

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Just get you a morning after pill and you should be clear. They are cheap anyway and you can grab them at almost any store that sells medication.

How many times you planning to let him cream you? Also what are you planning?

no need to thank me bro. just doing my part to help clean up Jow Forums. together we will stop the tripfags shitting up this board