You receive three million dollars, but everytime you shit it comes instantly and in to your pants...

You receive three million dollars, but everytime you shit it comes instantly and in to your pants. You aren't allowed to deal with this in any way, such as with diapers or bags or anything like that, you just have to shit your pants daily (or however often you poop.) Would you accept?

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for only three million dollars? no

Three million dollars is more than enough to live your entire life worry free.

Three million is enough to live off the interest until I die.
I'd just get the cheapest underwear possible and throw it out every time, does that count as "dealing with it"?

Could I fast so that I have tiny shits? Is that allowed?
I'd just let the little nuggets roll down the pant leg and hit the floor.

Thats all fair game.

I only poop like once a day, and I'm autistic enough to refuse to use the bathroom anywhere but my own house, so literally just go about my day, go home, shid pants, shower and change

You don't get to choose when you shit your pants obviously.

i love spaghetti

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There's no amount of money you could pay me to agree to this. I don't care how much you are, your life would be miserable if you were constantly shooting your pants.

You think rich people aren't unhappy enough without shit like this?

This is what I get for phoneposting

I'm honestly surprised at all the no's, I figured this board was at home often enough that this wouldn't be much of a problem.

I'd do it under the condition that I spend the money a high-end gaming chair modified to also be a toilet, and on a place to live and expenses in order to keep my human body alive while interacting with the world through a rover. Later in my idealistic future we'll be able to experience the world through robots that don't fall over when walking bipedally, hooked up via VR headsets with systems that convey sensual experiences including smells. That is, provided inflation doesn't turn 3 million dollars into cup of coffee money.

Nah you have to go in your pants.

I didn't say I wouldn't still be wearing pants

Whats the point of the toilet then

Because the pants would eventually rot through from all of the liquid shit. Sure, it'd happen after you shat yourself so many times that you're fused to the seat, but it'd still be an ideal place for a stone-sized mass of shit and rotten denim and cotton to fall. It'd have to be a high-pressure toilet with capacity for massive dumps, or even a giant outhouse-like well, but the whole human experience wouldn't matter because all of your sensations are overridden by the machine you use to interact with the world.

Disgusting but allowed.

My logic is that if you're going to be shitting yourself uncontrollably with a fairly sizeable amount of cash, what's the point of interacting with people directly? Out of ~7 billion people on the planet, there are at least a dozen that already do that with less restrictions on how they can deal with the shit. I'm just working with the limitations you gave us

>it comes instantly and in to your pants
>you just have to shit your pants daily (or however often you poop.)
So is it instant or not? Do my bowels void the instant any digested food enters them, or am I somehow choosing when to shit my pants?

I'd do it for a billion

>Three million dollars is more than enough to live your entire life worry free.

yes you do, its determined by what you ate and when

Yup, ill eat so much God damn cheese I'll never poo!

cleaning shit is a fucking chore

no not for 3 mill
Try 3 trillion

Essentially the instant you could shit in a normal situation, you do. Your typical daily BMs but its impossinle for you to go to the toilet

I almost never wear pants so yea not like 3 mill comes easy anyways

Well I already only shit at home, so it would basically be: put on designated shitting pants, go to bathroom, shit my pants, take off pants, dump shit into toilet, wash pants. Still sounds pretty shitty though.

>wear a buttplug
>only remove it when in the safety of the bathroom
nice try, faggot

id rather be poor i aint shitting my fucking pants daily for the rest of my life like a fucking drunkard

>designated shitting pants

what if it were like that film deathproof but instead of a death proof car its shit proof pants? and he keeps shitting his pants like how the stuntman keeps crashing his car

I already said no workarounds clever little bitch

3 million dollars is not a lot of money

Just don't wear pants. Then it'll go into the pants and your problem is solved. 3 million is enough to live live pantless

Enough to live a comfy neet life till death if you invest and are frugal

No. I don't shit that often but having the fucking bowel control of a toddler isn't worth any amount of money.

3 million dollars all at once, which logically is more than what people who earn 100k/year in 30 years (they have to pay their bills throughout it)

If you're buy a small home, and spend nothing more than a couple thousand on your neet shit (computer, phones, whatever), that 3 million dollars should last you your entire life.

Be humble.

What happens if I have to shit and I'm not wearing pants?

Then you shit the last pair you wore.

that idea is genius fuck yeah

I'll just shit on the toilet
There's nothing stopping me from doing that
OP is a faggot

I wouldn't do it for a seat on the Rothschild board and infinite money. The whole point of money is to rise in the social hierarchy, having people respect and admire you, seek you out, remember you, all of that. None of it is possible shitting your pants every day.

do I have to wear pants

>I wouldn't do it for a seat on the Rothschild board
imagine just sitting there and shitting all day to troll them

>user, would you please present the numbers
>yes, sir!
>*sips the last few drops of his laxative*
>okay, so here you can see how we're doing on taking away everyone's sense of identity by rewriting history and censoring the good parts
>sorry about my condition, I hope you understand.
>the average USofNorthernHemisphere citizen now believes people were living in caves world-wide right up to the renaissance when the glory of humanism finally managed to unite niggers and asians in the pursuit of science and they invented all of technology while being oppressed by lazy, white land owners.
>*explosive shart*
>and that's a good thing.

>not becoming a neet and sitting on the toilet 24/7

Assuming I don't already shit myself

I guess I'd go long ways to always stay within the vicinity of an extra pair of pants and a shower.
It would probably wreck havoc on your social life.

Make it three quadrillion dollars and you'll certainly agree. Everyone has a price.

nope. I love money but I wouldn't accept the downside for any amount of it. see

That's an incredibly autistic response. No one here thinks you're intelligent for saying that.

it's really not. life is long and the poster said "worry-free". you're gonna have to put some brain power and restraint into making 3 million of today's dollars last for a whole NEET life.