A mere fortnight until we are halfway through 2019 edition

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Never successfully had a wank in my life lads.
I feel nothing in my penis and I have never ejaculated. I get erections fine, just never orgasmed.

>Have you spoken to a 16 year old recently?

The last time I spoke to a 16 year old girl regularly was about 2 years ago. She was very pleasant and interesting to talk to. Even to this day I stills haven't come across any woman who makes for as good conversation as her

This guy knows the score

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Oh for fuck sake just deleted mine and this one has a tiny resolution image

Should probably look into that lad doesn't sound right

It's fine lad it is fine.

Keep this thread

Might get back into BMX lads, now I'm stronger I can send whatever tricks I want. 14 year old me could hardly 180.


Friends of yours Shippy?

Who the fuck is Rory Stewart?
Don't trust anyone with two first names

>you compete with the girl for her knickers.

probably amongst the top 5, if not top 3 most autistic posts that have ever been made in the history of britfeel

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Dare I say it, based?

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*practices dizzy penalties to prepare for the local fun day*

can we have the full top 5 pls

Why are Slavs like this?

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No, although there was a guy in Banbury who named his son Hitler recently that was in the news

I'm being generous and saying maybe it's not the worst. Off the top of my head I can't think of a single more autistic post than that one

another beautiful evening in spacker bridge

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"Britfeel" was posted in front of a live studio audience

That post, (and the thread switch) suddenly made me remember I'm not in /o/ anymore.
You are absolutely right my man, you compete against other guys and then claim your prize if successful. No competition with the actual female at all.

That's a big village

For Steve haha

The phrase 'teenage pregnancy' is one that is inherently considered a bad thing. Politicians etc love to brag that the rate is falling as a sign of progress, but it really isn't. The term teenage pregnancy includes those aged 18/19 and a falling pregnancy rate amongst that group isn't something to celebrate

I love how autistic you lads are when it comes to making a new thread, it's well cute

there are NPC friends there making those weird noises that they make, i think i spawned too many though since the only thing most of them do during the days is hang around near the town bells

but it also includes 13-15 year olds

Where was this, just the word 'britfeel' or the actual thread itself including my pro-underage sex posts?

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King of the thread.
Pussy slayer
Winner winner pussy for dinner

more like a pussy having dinner


Lads, looks like we've got one of them poofs that's afraid of a bit of meat lol

Phwoarrr mango monster mash cocktail. Two pints before this so hopefully I feel pissed soon.

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*throws a bucket of KFC over you*

Why are my workmates pissed off that I went on holiday and didn't bring back any sweets or food? There's no rule saying I have to, dunno why everyone does it

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britfeel needs to be put on the list of banned terror groups

>ywn be an unskilled Chinese labourer working on a railway infrastructure project in Uganda with a harem of 6 negresses and 17 children

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reminder there is no excuse for using an incorrect image

More like a man shagging your mums
Pussy after eating dinner fellaKFC are making vegan burgers fella. You upset fella?
Your mums a fat cunt

Yes mate, was a live audience of Police investigators. Now they've got a solid target, thanks to yours truly ;).

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>a man
nice larp faggot

Anyone else watch their TV or use their monitor in the dark? Let me know, cheers.

you on a tranny night out?

sounds like a blessing and a curse

just make sure you have your dialysis before eating too much pussy lad, don't want you fucking up your kidneys again do we

so thankful I don't work in an office, warehouse work no one cares if you socialize or not

Shippy goes in for his appraisal.
Under weaknesses he's listed eczema.

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trannies only drink jack and coke through a straw so as not to ruin their lipstick


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The best way to lose weight is to consume only water and exercise a lot.

Fuck warehouse work it breaks your back. I just wanna work typing or some shit I dunno. I don't wanna work but ya gotta I guess but fuck sake!

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A real man does whatever the fuck he wants to do
My kidneys are in the top 0.01 % of the population for enzyme health fella

Just watched entirety of game of thrones in 5 days. What ya think!

are they chinese?

Why is Tim so obsessed with Karen Carpenter?

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Right lads, aim is to have conventional intercourse by age 19, which is August. No prossies, just a traditional shag?
>how does the beta virgin expect to do this?
Well, I'm glad you asked. I've worked hard in the gym and it's payed off, people are commenting on my growth(mummy even said my biceps were huge!). You can't really grow a chad jawline so plan is to lurk in a local nightclub and get somewhat pissed so I don't care about rejection. Then patrol the area, looking for fitting victims for my first night of drunken, consensual sex. All acquaintances aren't really suitable to accompany me, or already have girls but there is one lad I could call upon.
I imagine a hotel would be the ideal location because I can't really bring someone home at 2am and hit it off. Would probably be slightly more cost effective to meet an escort but that's cheating. I also refuse to use online dating/social media.

Both of you should leave tbqh. Pair of annoying twats

he has a waifu :( awww

Shes too uninterested to be his gf and they have 2 pitchers. she friendzoned him and she aint even attractive can tell by those ugly fingernails. she bites them.

Fuck off, you have absolutely no reason to complain. You're just an immature middle class melt who wants everything handed to him.
For gods sake put some effort in to something for once.

A warehouse job would honestly be perfect for me if I was a bit fitter. But because I've been in an office for so many years I'm a fucking fat blob who gets out of breath walking up stairs
Office work also breaks your back, just more slowly. And it's worse because you get fat, get RSI, and lose your eyesight. Wish I had a job where I could at least move about, and not have to slowly vegetate
I wish, at least then I wouldn't have to talk to them or listen to their problems all the time

Pathetic, I could do it in a day. You must be a wagey.

I'm guessing she reminds him of his mother

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This aint gonna work. Just the fact you wrote this can tell you gonna be a virgin at 28.

Just ate pussy for the first time AMA

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Brown bread

or white?


Happy posting ONLY!

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what's this week's lotto numbers

Nah he'll definitely lose his virginity but not with their consent

Gonna bait some lad hook line and sinker. just wait

Brown bread's healthier so I usually opt for it in my groceries but sometimes I treat myself to a white loaf
20 36 12 05 07 59

I think that means all you've done is watch tv and sleep

>I trick /britfeel/ers

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Got an interview for online assistant at sainsburys on Thursday lads

haha knew a lad who once went on patrol in the middle of a dancefloor just ended up raging and trying to kiss every girl he could find.

Sure it wasn't for an online autist, lad?

>ywn obtain 100 million by spending a few quid and typing out some numbers

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what did you do instead then

I really liked season 8 desu. was my fave season.

just don't lift with your back and you're fine, plus if you go to hr and make up back problems they'll give you a support belt
>A warehouse job would honestly be perfect for me if I was a bit fitter.
I think a lot of people who actually hate warehouse work usually do so for this reason, always hearing people talking about how shit it is and how tired they are

Peasant mode tea tonight of 6 mini sausge rolls and beans

how the fuck did you manage that. i couldnt.

No mate well I hope not

>I really liked season 8
Retard spotted.

saw something in the paper today some couple won 53 million and if they keep it in the bank the get about 120k per month in interest (though interest is paid out yearly) fucking crazy I'd end up buying my mates houses and just giving fuck tons away to strangers

I applied then almost immediately got an email to schedule an interview

even if youre fit, fucks the rest of your day though

>with super aids

uncle, sit down and HAVE SEX

did you need a reference?

That would be nice.
I could go back to being NEET and actually spend my days watching anime and playing video games, except this time I'd OWN the flat.

>Mango monster mash cocktail? Count me in!

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what do you mean fucks the rest of you day? I'm tired when I get home but within an hour or two I feel fine

>had sex
>even more of a bitter virgin incel now than I was before

Yep that's the smart way of using it, don't spend it just live off the interest. Except most lottery winners tend to be utter mongs that blow most of it on giant mansions, a fleet of range rovers and extravagant holidays in the first year

Just watched the music video of that Lewis Capaldi song. Bawling my eyes out.

you're not doing the paedo allegations any favours shippy

*paves over the britfeel gardens to build a parking lot*

Same lad, I'd set my family for life, create a family investment scheme so they never need to worry about money again. Then probably set a good few lads from here, especially some of the nice posters I cross. 53 million is absurd, it's ridiculous money. Say you went on a spending spree, I doubt you could burn through it. A lovley house up in Scotland, a few holiday homes and sorted. Live off the interest.

Me dad always says they should make 53 millionaires because it'll go back into the economy, but I wouldn't turn my nose up to a phat sum like that.

You'd own the whole block if you wanted. Or you could donate it to Norf FC and fund Ngunbu's new transfer.

>own the whole block
And have to pay stamp duty land tax and council tax associated with it? Nah
Might get a flat above a takeaway so I can get instant deliveries though.

What's new lids?

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yeah plus they go partying all the time and buying rounds for everyone, I'd just buy a nice plot of land out of the way, a car and a motorbike then that'd probably be it for extravagant things for myself would spend a fuck ton on a homegym though then I'd just be making sure the people I care about aren't worrying about money
I do think more winner less money for each would be interesting make 10 new millionaires each month or something

>parking lot

This new pokemon game looks like utter shite. I'm not happy. Especially seeing as it's region is supposed to be based off of Great Britain. Could have been cool but it looks like there was no effort. Why are there so many mountains? Where are the hills? Where are the moors? No white cliffs?