Dating and mating is completely dead now. back around 2012 even I used to get dates and talk to girls and shit

Actually I take that back, you probably know exactly what you're doing. Nice bait my man, keep it up.

this is literally every single girl. not 99%. every single one.

exactly. make friends? why dont I just fucking dig to the center of the earth

>be me
>be 22
>be boomer
FUUUUUG
so where did I say "go on online dating/meeting?"
I said do shit in person, retard.
Any decent person, even if they're ugly, can do the following:
>work out
>watch anime
>learn to cook
>say hello
>shave
>bathe
do these things, and go in person and say hello. The worst you'll get is "sorry, not interested" before you say hello.
In this case, the law of averages is your friend.
I meet over 1000 people a year. Yet I've only managed to find about 100 people after 10 years that were really worth the conversations (that were my peers for social interaction). Of those people, only 30 are worth currently speaking to, in both my opinion and theirs. It takes a LOT of time, but these relationships appreciate like interest compounds. That's the only way you'll find happiness user, call me stupid and use statistics if you want, that only condemns you to the hell you keep trapping yourself in.
You really, really need to IRL meet people who have a common interest.
This online only socializing doesn't work out when you need real interaction. WoW marriages were a trendy fad for about a couple years, you need to move on.
Besides, now you know all the chaff is taken, that only leaves more wheat for you to plow.

Here's what you do.
>be you
>scared of people and assume nobody likes them
>hate life
>hate friendship
>hate being alone
>hate, hate, hate.
>not even apathy
>just really hate, and now you wanna cover it up with apathy so you can become an hero
>slap self in face
>pour cold water on face
>take shower
>shave
>cut hair
>get dressed in clothes that don't have a company or some other nonsense on them
>pants, undershirt, and overshirt will work just fine
>have interest: assumed anime
>go to anime expo
>say hello to people
>find people in similar anime interests
>find gaming events there
>play games like werewolf where you call other people liars all day
>find it fun to pick people apart
>learn to enjoy the interaction
>start to talk to people from game outside of game
>keep going until a friend is made
>literally any friend at all
>keep trying
>don't give up
>ignore your amazing reason why you need to give up
>be stupid and not give up despite it being stupid
>because wanting friends is more important than being smart
>make friend
>talk to them
>lose friend
>make another friend
>make as many as possible
>keep talking to them until conversations with them become routine
>eventually try talking to a girl who could be your friend
>fuck it up
>try again
>fuck it up
>don't give up, no matter your great reason
>keep trying until no longer fuck up
>lose girl as friend
>make another
>eventually girl that is friend that you regularly talk to
>one day you and girl are talking and hanging out in person because you keep finding things in person to do and she's there
>"hey, I know this is crazy but, I really like you, as a friend, and if it's cool with you, I'd like to try something more."
>"would you go on a date with me?"
>she says no
>repeat until yes
>freak out about date
>try and find something that's just like all the other times you hang out, or is literally bland and vanilla like a movie (yes, that works)
>go see movie/anime with friend on date
>cont

>she says it was fun
>but isn't interested
>inside you wanna scream and cry and hit things
>outside you give a neutral "oh, okay" response
>as she walks away
>"hey becky"
>"yeah, what's up?"
>"would you... help me find a girlfriend? I wanna know what I'm doing wrong, and I know it's dumb to ask you this, but you're the exact type of girl I'm into. I wanna know why I'm not the kind of guy you like, and what I need to improve on. Not to be /your/ ideal, but to just be a better me. Plus you know girls and might be able to hook me up, heh."
>"well.... I dunno..."
>"It's okay, I understand. But if you ever change your mind, about helping me or going on another date, let me know. I'm always interested."
>keep going back to what you're doing
>meeting people
>making friends
>fighting that amazing reason you have to give up, day in and out
>resist temptation to use drugs to cover pain
>resist temptation to do terrible things to cover pain
>just work out and play vidya on spare time
>hang out with friends or talk to them on phone
>"another convention, another try I guess"
>another few girls come around after another few conventions
>more friends
>more dates
>more chances
>keep trying
>do another date with another girl
>becky notices
>didn't even help you but you're trying with another girl
>she likes the date
>goes on another
>tell becky about it
>ask her for advice
>she gives good advice on where to go for dates, what to do, etc
>you keep making friends and meeting girls
>you keep dating
>eventually becky sees you with stacy
>becky comes back
>"user, I wanna talk to you."
>"sure, what about?"
>do you remember when we first went on a date?"
>cont

This honestly sounds fucking exhausting, not to mention the emotional fallout from consistent social rejection. How do normies even find time for this in between work and school?

Idk dude, sounds like a lot of work.

>"yeah, it was pretty embarrassing, I took you on a movie date and you hated it, heh."
>"I even asked you for advice! can you believe it? How embarrassing! I think I've learned a little since then though."
>"well... I didn't really hate it."
>"oh?"
>"honestly, I only ever saw us as friends."
>"yeah..."
>"and... I know this is kind of wrong, but when I saw you with stacy..."
>"yeah...?"
>"I... actually got jealous. Can you believe it? I actually got jealous that you found another date! I mean you were saying about how I was your kind of girl, and honestly I didn't see things going anywhere, because I thought you were dating me just so you could build up confidence, so I mean when you asked me to help you I thought you weren't taking me seriously, or something."
>"becky, calm down and listen to me."
>"I always took you seriously. As a friend, and for a date, as something more. You told *me* that you weren't interested romantically, but just platonically. as friends."
>"so you know, becky, I would have dated you and done every thing with you. Anime expo's coming up, it would have been nice to do cosplay, or play vidya, or just even watch some anime."
>"I still take you seriously, as a friend. A really good friend. You helped me so much becky, and now stacy and I are dating, and it's all thanks to you."
>"thanks to me, huh..."
>"yeah."
>"so it was a lie then?"
>"what was?"
>"that you would always be interested in me?"
>"I am interested in you, what are you talking about?"
>"but not... interested, interested, anymore."
>"what are you saying?"
>"I'm saying... if you asked me on a date..."
>"I'd say yes."
>"and if I wanted more?"
>"I'd say yes."
>"...."
>"..."
>"becky."
>"yeah?"
>"wanna go to the movies?"
>"yeah."
>cont

They usually make a smart friend they can do group assignments with (make them do all the work) and because they're friendly at work they typically get a free pass on a lot of bullshit, so if you're hyper-manipulative like this guy is suggesting you can make time for other stuff.

>go to movies
>watch something stupid, but try and find something she likes since you spent so much time talking about interests
>"I can't believe there's never something good playing."
>"I know right?"
>"at least we can just sit down and make fun of it together. God, how do people do this?"
>"what do you mean?"
>"honestly, this is just a fuckload of work."
>"eh?"
>"going around, sitting down at movies neither of us likes, when we both know what guys always want, and what girls always want."
>"how do these fucking normies do it?"
>"user, you're talking like one of those incels again."
>"oh, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to kill the mood. I've always been pretty ba-"
>"I didn't say you were wrong. I just want you to say it differently."
>"what do you mean?"
>"something a little more... romantic. like 'too bad there's nothing on right now.' and maybe something smooth like 'is there something you'd rather do with me right now?'"
>"you're right, I've just never really been the kind of guy to naturally get it. I try, but really, it's all so tiring lol."
>"well, come on. You asked me out, you got me interested. Are you saying it wasn't any fun trying?"
>"of course not!"
>"was our first date really boring for you?"
>"hell no!"
>"but... did you really like the movie?"
>"no..."
>"what did you like?"
>"well, you were sitting next to me..."
>"and? what's so good about that?"
>"you hated the movie too and made fun of it with me."
>"so why can't we do that this time?"
>"...you're right. why can't we?"
>"come on, let's watch 'Star Wars: subverted expectations together."
>"that movie sucks though becky, of course you wouldn't like... oh..."
>"god user you're so thick headed."
>"and you actually like me, idiot."
>get inside totally kiked out movie
>"user, how the fuck is leia a jedi?"
>"becky, I think you're just a mysogynist."
>banter keeps going back and forth, mocking normies and the movie loudly
>normies complaining and getting upset
>cont

>stacy's with chad at the movie
>loves the movie
>"user?"
>"hey stacy, what's up? This is becky, we're well, friends."
>"user, I think you should tell her."
>"tell me what? Also was that you just now making fun of those movies? God damn that was so fucking obnoxious I just can't even understand. You're a cute guy but that mouth of yours, you sound like a fucking incel!"
>"yeah, you might have a point. Who's this?"
>"Oh, well, yeah... this is chad. we were going to a nice movie together."
>"I didn't want to break it to you this way user, but I... don't really like the way you're talking like this. Sometimes you're just so rough, and that's cool, but chad here actually likes star wars and cars and football, and it's just really manly so -"
>"shut the fuck up you roastie fucking bitch!"
>"becky?"
>becky gets in stacy's face
>you stand next to chad and say hello real quick
>"what the fuck did you just say to my fucking boyfriend you btich!? He's fucking funny and this movie is fucking trash. Why the fuck he even tried to date you is beyond me. Your tits are either fake or the only place god gifted your bimbo ass! What the fuck is your problem?! Stay the fuck away from my user, cunt!"
>stacy and becky have verbal brawl about you, totally ignoring chad
>this totally perplexes you, so you walk up to him and say hello
>"hey chad."
>"hey user."
>"girls often do this?"
>"yeah. you new to dating?"
>"I'm new to a lot of this shit."
>"well, looks like you've got a fighter."
>"yeah, she's pretty cool. Didn't think she'd go out with a virgin like me heh."
>"dude, girls like that kind of guy now. This is 80% of girls, taking guys like me and going up to other guys to make them feel worse."
>"don't worry about it, I've seen it a lot; but how do you feel about it?"
>"honestly? It gets me laid."
>"but... is it fulfilling? or even fun?"
>"not after the fifth time, honestly."
>"becky seems pretty awesome, fighting for you like that."
>"you think so?"
>"yeah."
>"yeah."
>cont

>stacy and becky keep fighting about the movie really loudly
>while the movie is going
>you and chad, while entertained, know it's gotta end quickly
>"just grab becky, I'll grab stacy."
>"understood. It was nice meeting you. good luck chad, but we both know you won't need it."
>"right back at you user."
>stacy screams some more stupid normie girl shit
>"you think cause you have glasses, and dress like a fucking becky that you're some gamer girl dream?! you're a fucking loser! no wonder only user would date you. I bet he thinks you look fucking ugly and that was the only reason he even dated your geek bitch cunt ass!"
>the anger wells up inside you.
>"Look at him! He's not even saying anything. I bet you were a fucking nerd loser in high school, just like you're a fucking nerd loser right now!"
>"Stacy!" you say, with a loud voice in the theatre
>by this point literally everyone in the theatre's looking at you. It gets to you but you're trying to stay calm
>like you've seen in every anime and manga you've watched
>"what?!"
>"stacy, becky's my girlfriend. I like her, a lot. You're right, she probably wasn't the most popular girl, she probably isn't like you at all."
>"but that's why I like her and why she's my ideal girl."
>"because she gets me. because, despite me trying countless fucking times to make friends, to get a girlfriend like you, she dumped me because she saw me as I saw me."
>"and when I finally grew up past her level, she got attracted to me."
>"I bet saying all this hurts her feelings, like everything you just said hurts her feelings."
>"so shut the fuck up."
>"I like her. She's my girlfriend. And unlike you, she's a lot of fucking fun, gets me, and likes me for who I am."
>"So before I bitch slap you in front of chad, back the fuck off. Come on becky, we're leaving."
>you take becky with you, dumbstruck.
>cont

>you're walking through the theatre with becky
>"user, do you really feel that way?"
>"yeah."
>"so you really like me?"
>"yeah."
>"even after I rejected you?"
>"yeah."
>"I wasn't too much work?"
>"oh no, you were way too much work."
>"what?!"
>"but you were worth it."
>"...oh."
>"Honestly, from the start of this, whole weird trip life has been lately"
>"I went from nobody liking me"
>"nobody was my friend"
>"and I had to pull myself out of my fucking hole by myself."
>"you weren't there from the start."
>"and you didn't even like me the way I liked you when I confessed it."
>"but you stayed my friend."
>"even though we were distant, you still gave me a half-chance."
>"but now I actually made friends."
>"and I figured out what my problems were."
>"and I'm genuinely myself, while still making friends and shit."
>"so it was worth it."
>"but it was way too much work for me."
>you leave the theatre while hearing people pissed at you
>"so yeah, becky, I fucking like you."
>"just fucking be my girlfriend already."
>"I know I'm hard to get along with, and I'm really fucking negative."
>"but I tried really fucking hard."
>"be my weeb gf."
>"god you fucking dork, fine... if you can put up with me too still being too much work."
>"and so you know, user."
>"the reason I didn't want to date you was because it seemed like all you wanted to do was make friends."
>"it was. it's not anymore."
>"and that's why I like you now."
>you finally kiss her, on the cheek. She smells like strawberry, and she kisses you back.
>you trick her so it's on the mouth
>date #3 on the back of your mind
>go back home
>living alone, shitty job you hate
>filthy mess
>literally all that's been keeping you going is some stubbornness to make friends
>but now that you have them, things are starting to come together and work out
>decide to clean your apartment
>"god damn that fucking smells."
>"bet she'd love that from a boyfriend."
>cont

You really expect anyone to read that?

Attached: tldr.jpg (643x820, 80K)

>you finally decide to be a man and take becky out on a date
>"somewhere nice this time..."
>you think hard about what would be fun
>anime expo!
>you get on the phone
>"hey becky"
>"yeah? I'm at work, make it quick."
>"so uh, anime expo's coming up."
>"yeah?!"
>"you wanna go?"
>"I thought we already were, user."
>"I mean... did you want to go..."
>"to anime expo..."
>"...with me."
>"as your.... boyfriend."
>"..."
>"..."
>"...I get it, bad idea, sorry about that. I'll let you g-"
>"I didn't say no, user."
>"...so what are you saying?"
>"I'm saying.... you better pick out a good cosplay."
>"ah fuck"
>"too late! you asked me and now you've gotta do it!"
>"what are you going as?"
>"the person laughing at your cosplay."
>"the fuck?! I'm not even int-"
>she hangs up
>"fucking shit fuck. girls aren't fucking worth it I should just jack off to VNs or something, I bet shiny days has uncensored loli I could watch"
>"... fuck it I'll do some danganronpa shit and be shuichi, that way I just need to buy a fucking hat."
>day of convention
>"how many times have I been here before?"
>becky's already inside
>get past gate where narrator's dream gf is always handing out tickets and shit while browsing /x/
>get to becky
>"hey becky"
>"hey nerd!"
>"so uh, this is my cosplay."
>"that fucking sucks! take that hat off!"
>"yeah right, now you've gotta walk around with me the whole day looking like this."
>"...at least let me have the hat."
>you give her the hat
>she tries to smell it when she thinks you're not looking
>mutual fetish confirmed
>"you know"
>"w-what?"
>"if you want to smell me, you can just ask."
>"what are you talking about you fucking weirdo!"
>"cause well, I like the way you smell too, so..."
>"..."
>date goes on like this for hours
>you do the normal thing
>play werewolf
>visit some weeb shit
>play vidya
>make friends
>with girlfriend right next to you
>holding your arm
>day comes to a close
>you're both exhausted
>cont

>"so... what was that back at the theatre?"
>"what do you mean?"
>"about being smooth and stuff."
>"what are you talking about?"
>"well, let's say I need some advice."
>"about...?"
>"there's this girl. and I went on a date with her, today in fact. I had a great time, but I feel like spaghetti memes and shit."
>"oh god..."
>"and even worse, just spending the whole day together, I've been keeping it all in. I didn't kiss her even once, but I could smell her and she smells like strawberry."
>"and maybe it's just me but... I really want to take her to my place and do some lewd shit."
>"...."
>"what should I say to get her to my place?"
>"...."
>"I get it, that was really bad, huh? Pretty cheesy and shit. I'm sorry if you had a bad day, but I had a great one with you. I'd like to do it again, but I want to go further too."
>"but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?"
>"probably because I'm in my 20s and a virgin, I bet your first ti--"
>*slap*
>"shut up."
>"..."
>"well, shut up and take me to your place."
>"... well?"
>"..."
>"...okay, shut up and say something!"
>"...want to go to my place?"
>"yeah."
>"did you have a fun time?"
>"yeah."
>"even if I asked all this out of order?"
>"yeah."
>cont

>you take her to your apartment
>it's clean but it's still obviously yours
>anime posters, like NGE and SEL, litter your walls
>"oh god it's a ten year old's place!"
>"I like a fucking nerd virgin!"
>"god damn you're high maintenance, you know that?!"
>"yeah right. I'm the lowest maintenance girl you're ever gonna date."
>"about earlier..."
>"...what?"
>"is it bad that I'm a virgin in my 20s and am a robot on Jow Forums?"
>"yeah."
>"...oh."
>you sit there in silence for the longest 10 seconds of your life
>"but it's okay."
>"because... well... I am too."
>"you go on Jow Forums!?"
>"what the fuck!"
>she punches your arm
>"that hurt!"
>"not as much as you ignoring me!"
>"..."
>the longest 11 seconds of your life pass
>"...so you don't have any advice?"
>"...no."
>"so... what do we do?"
>"well, what do you want to do?"
>"I saw you smelling my hat."
>"that's not funny user."
>"I did, and I... want to... smell... you..."
>"god damn you're weird."
>"so are you!"
>you start laughing
>"...so then, do it."
>"what?"
>"come over here and smell me."
>you get on top of her
>smell her hair
>strawberry
>"user, kiss me."
>kiss her
>she pulls your tongue with hers
>tongue fucks your mouth
>you do the same
>you put her hand on your pants
>she puts yours on her skirt
>keep kissing
>feeling each other up
>you keep making the other go further
>like a game of truth or dare
>but you wont stop picking dare
>at this point you're both undressing each other, forced by the other
>she's on top of you, starts licking your chest
>you start sucking her tits like it's a hentai
>she loves it
>you make out and molest each other more
>she's getting really wet
>you push her onto your bed, gently
>no words
>you go down on her
>she starts to scream into a pillow and squeeze your head with her legs
>she goes down on you
>you cum really quickly
>you keep making out, get hard again
>"...user"
>"yeah?"
>"I want it."
>"say it."
>"fuck me user."
>and you fuck.

There. I spelled it out for you.
This is how to get from where you are, to where you want to be.
I basically did a variation of this. And now I have a few girls interested in me, and they're all dating me right now. They're all very competitive. And there's a few gays in there, and it's a way bigger story.
But I wanted to give you the no-shit what-happens.
I know it's fucking long. I know it's fucking boring.
Welcome to reality.
Where you actually get your qt becky gf.

It's no longer 2012, women have more freedom and now they deem you undesirable.
Make yourself desirable by offering something, be it money, doing things for her, domestic service or whatever. Offer something that Chad can't or won't.