>just took a questionnaire at my psychiatrist
>checking for autism
>answered all the questions
>looks like my diagnosis was right all this time
got diagnosed with aspergers at 14, which turned into level 1 autistic, but sometimes feel and behave like level 2.
how are my autistic anons doing?
>you must post if you have legitimate diagnosed autism
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>how are my autistic anons doing?
25 years old, will be 26 next month. Dropped out of university for the second time. Never even finished a BA. I've finally realized that I will never fit in with any group of people ever, and loneliness for life is my inevitable fate. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone about anything beyond practical matters (store clerks, barber, whatever). I wish I had never been born. If I wasn't scared of dying, I would have committed suicide years ago, because my existence is a waste of good oxygen.
And I'm not the only one. Autism sufferers have a life expectancy of 36 years in the United States and 39.5 years in Sweden, and are 9 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. I wish these "autism is just neurodiversity, goy" activist retards would shut the hell up and jump off a bridge. That would help us sufferers more than anything. Autism needs to be eradicated; its sufferers sterilized so it doesn't spread as quickly, and a cure - even if it is damaging to cognitive function - developed as quickly as possible.
i feel much the same way. only difference is im able to have autistic conversations with people on the phone. I rarely leave my house nowadays. I dont want to see people. being 28, im creeping up on that dying age of 36, and deep down i wish it would come sooner. I dont want to live like this for my whole life.
Doing pretty well, going into nice projects and living decently. Feels good.
im glad you're happy with your autism.
>I dont want to live like this for my whole life.
I feel you, man. I'm not a fan of the Nazis, but they were right when they talked about the disabled living 'lives unworthy of life'. It's easy for outsiders, people who don't suffer the way we do, to put us, the disabled, up on a pedestal and say "wow, how brave". But what are our lives worth? Will we ever have normal romantic/sexual relationships? Probably not. A normal series of friendships? Probably not. A decent job? Probably not. So we suffer our way through life as outcasts for about 40 years until we go quietly into the night.
If there a path to diagnosis without health insurance? I'm 26 with a bare minimum job, and I guess I could get health insurance, but would it even be worth the intensive time and money costs to go that route. I was going for diagnosis once years ago, choked on the family history part and here I am
you know what bothers me the most? Its the fact that us autistic people are held to the same standards as normal people. "just be yourself" "why dont you have a job, you just have to tough it out". they basically expect us to do things the same way everyone else does it, without realizing that we simply cannot.
no other autists on today?
Here, just don't have anything to add.
whats your story? when were you diagnosed? whats your life been like recently? This is a thread where you dont have to be afraid to be autistic.
I've just fucked myself whenever I've taken any kind of psychological evaluation. I just answer how I think is normal. I'm fed up of pretending to be normal.
I am 22. I have an associates degree, I make my own money, and I can drive myself places. All of these things had terrified me and I genuinely thought I would never be this independent. I still live at home and have never had friends or a girlfriend but Im happy with where I am now.
I was diagnosed recently. I also have selective mutism, so I basicaly can't speak with people. I can't look them in the eye, I can only talk about direct stuff (things I can't go on without talking, like buying something). People try to make me laugh and I smile like a fucking mwntally capped tard (I don't actually open my mouth because I'm self-conscioys about my braces) even if I don't think it's funny. I basically can't express my actual personality, and I cope with speaking with people in my head (awnsering them in my head like I would if I wasn't like this). It sucks.
OP here
I legitimately hate successful autistic people. Not you personally, but the idea of being successful as an autist is just lost on me.
share the autism here: juSQzW
30, suicidal, yada yada
you get the picture
damn dude, you could possibly have something more than just autism, if you're talking to to yourself like that/. I couldnt imagine being a mute, but i can sympathize with not being able to genuinely laugh at other people...unless im making fun of them.
Diagnosed 2 years ago. Had a psychiatric evaluation following several anger outbursts at work, a necessity for routine, and fixed interests. Slept at a crisis response centre where they observed I only slept for 4 hours and paced down the walkway near the receptionist's desk for the next 4 at which point the psychologist arrived and immediately diagnosed me with autism upon sitting down with me, the reason for staying overnight, upon hearing my story.
A year ago I got into cryptocurrency because a friend told me about it. I learned all about it and ended up solving some major problems with it worth a lot of money. I relayed the info to a well-known company in the crypto world making a cryptocurrency. Then I later see an orange border surrounding my computer screen with my cursor loading, which obviously means someone or a group is getting into my computer. This triggers an onslaught of strange happenings at work (who also knew of my discoveries in crypto) which lead me into a psych ward twice (seriously, never ask me what strange things happened. you will never believe me). I relapsed after getting out of the first psych ward and ended up standing on top of a vehicle in the middle of an intersection nearby work with my superintendent and colleagues at my side. All of this sounds crazy but you have no idea how strange reality can get. There were so many coincidences that happened that absolutely terrified me. I'm still on disability a year later and hope this time around I can avoid people at all cost because they are literal cancer to my mind.
Well, It's the way I survived high school, if I weren't talking to myself I don't think my sanity wouod have lasted long. People tend to not understand the mute part, but it's ok. It sucks when people say "he's like that because he wants to", or "just speak lol". About the laughing one, it's not that I force myself to laugh, I get tense when people are tryinf to make me laugh or at similar situations and I can't help myself but smile like a retarded kid. Seriously, I feel so retarded for not being able to laugh like a normal human being.
>Then I later see an orange border surrounding my computer screen with my cursor loading, which obviously means someone or a group is getting into my computer.
That's not how computers work.
Then tell me what it means.
Pretty sure I've got something wrong with me. Not sure what though. You guys ever feel like you don't actually have a real personality or real interests etc. I feel like I'm pretending to be the person I am and that the hobbies and interests I have are just things I've adopted rather than being born out of genuine interest. Even the music I like feels more like an act. Everything feels like an act. Like when someone asks my opinion on this topic or that topic I'm not considering my own thoughts on the topic I'm thinking about how my answer will make me appear to whoever it is that's asking.
that strange happening shit is called synchronicity. noticing them can indicate some form of psychosis for real bro. are you diagnosed with anything else?
i think all autists feel fake and contrived. I often feel similarly. Ive been that way for a long time. The only things i have interest in are things ive seen other people do. except for writing, thats my only saving grace, except im a shitty writer and its all bipolar nonsense.
Imagine visualizing something in your mind, and then someone you're talking to gestures a depiction of it during a pause in conversation. Those are the strange "coincidences" I'm talking about. My night supervisor did it after everyone was gone. He was trying to get me to write out the mathematics of my ideas in crypto on paper. After doing a lot of strange things like that to me, I ask him, "so because I'm aware of this strange form of communication between us, does this mean I have to die?" and he says "only if you lie".
i'm still blown away by it all a year and a half later.
yeah dude, thats definitely synchronicity. fuckin google it bro, im sure it will describe your experiences.
>you will never believe me
I'd believe you. I'm bipolar and I've had psychotic episodes where it's like the world is almost alive and getting at me. I can't describe it but it feels orchestrated almost. I can't describe it other than feeling like the world or more specifically just reality was alive. It was too perfectly arranged not to be, at least some of the details.
I just lurk, thought i should post just to check in
fuck you moot
It feels so strange. I never considered that people genuinely feel a connection to the interests they hold and the beliefs they maintain. I just feel detached from even being a person. Like I'm wandering through a dream, or that I'm on the outside looking in.
In the psych ward, there was a guy who was doing these strange coincidences.
I told my psychiatrist and psychologist this one which even blew them away:
I pin the guy at the psych ward down on the couch after I've had enough of his bullshit and ask him what number I'm thinking of. I'm thinking 127. He says 217. It absolutely boggles my mind what this guy could do.
Diagnosed with Asperger's in elementary school. I've done OK with myself. 28. I have some close friends (although no GF right now) and a decent job, and I can make small talk just fine. Put enough logic into social interactions and you can fake caring. As a kid I was a very typical autistic but I'm not sure you would peg me as ASD nowadays -- especially since my special interests are art and history related instead of the stereotypical trains, games, etc. But I definitely come across as odd and like I'm hiding things.
Autism anons, any of you have obsessive interests?
If you need someone to tell you you are autistic, you might be autistic.
I think I have autism, but my parents don't care if I live or die because I am mixed-raced, and they do not care to help me. My white dad knows I have a problem, but he doesn't want to help me so nothing happens.
I need to get diagnosed so I can get on SSI and not die when my dad (60) does. I can only see myself dying early. I don't believe my life will be alright even if I'm on welfare.
I'm 23 years old, and I've never kissed a girl. I have one genuine friend that is asperger, but he's not full blown autism like me.
I have no real interests anymore.
I used to enjoy drawing, but I mastered it and stopped caring about it as soon as that happened.
I can't enjoy video games.
I can't enjoy movies anymore.
All I have in life is Jow Forums and eating food.
The first episode I had was probably the weirdest for this for me. I don't know it felt like I was slowly being poisoned, I'd see dark spots and bugs and other weird shit and everything felt like it was closing in. I'd sleep with the light on so I could be sure of it and I'd insist on making my own food but only after doing everything I could to make sure it was alright. Anyway I conceded and had food at a local place with my then girlfriend which was a fucking nightmare and I ended up again feeling like I'd been poisoned and the whole dark spot shit got worse. The weirdest thing is that restaurant ended up getting shut down for hygiene violations as well as employing illegal immigrants etc. Shit like that happened constantly. It's like I'd think of something and sooner or later it would happen. Or that I was gifted the knowledge.
Late diagnostic here, It is as bad as schizophrenia. Life is nightmarish.
Whats funny is that I feel like I have accomplished some extremely difficult tasks but things like getting a job and driving are what normal people do easily when they are like 16. I have to put out 110% effort just to meet peoples minimum expectations of a grown man. Nobody will ever know or care how hard it was to get my first job at 21.
And to your point, I just want to say that I can't get much further than I am now in life. The higher levels of society require an in depth knowledge of social interactions and networking and I am still training myself to look people in the eye when I speak to them. You cant be truly successful and autistic.
what do you mean dark spots? that can be oxygen deprivation i think.
My dad is using me for labor.
Every where I have ever worked, I have been a victim of bullying whenever I am placed with co-workers.
I mostly remain totally silent so as to avoid unwanted attention.
It was like mould on surfaces. I'd see it all the time, especially if it was already dark. I'd even see it on people. I remember trying to scratch it off a wall and my girlfriend coming in and just staring at me.
You should seriously get a second opinion because that sounds like psychosis, not autism. Maybe you have autism too but that is not an autism thing.
Yeah it was something of an episode. I don't have autism just bipolar but yeah it's under control now. Well kinda anyway.
Anyone think there's anything to the theory that Autism's a result of imbalances in the gut biome? I've heard that a bacteria known as "Clostridia" causes autism, or at least symptoms very close to it.
Forgot to add,
whatsmore, antibiotics that are designed to kill off Clostridia, when used on autists, have been shown to cause heavily reduced symptoms.
I think Autism is being too intelligent to the extent that you are no longer capable of keeping up with reality. It is, and always has been, life threatening.
This is what happens when your skull is too masculine, but your IQ is too high. You end-up incapable of catching a ball. Incapable of ignoring serious existential dangers. Incapable of observing others and receiving their inner thoughts through that observance because you can't see. An abnormal gait because you can't control your body because you are fundamentally disconnected from reality.
This is what is happening to me.
My IQ is 132, but I have the forehead of a gorilla.
I am so awake in the brain that I can't push through difficulties. I can't drive, lift weights, or socialize. Working 55 hours a week of hard labor for 3 months almost made me commit suicide.
Women are, at their core, incapable of disconnecting from reality.
Men are, at their core, disconnected from reality.
You can feminize the male, but when the intelligence breaks through and the core becomes the exterior, you get autism.
I believe women were originally men when the first cell split. This is why even women can have autism.
If you pay attention, it's just a very long-game of catch-up.
Men are primitive.
Women are a step above them.
It has been this way since life began on earth.
My mother gave birth to me when she was in her late 30s. My parents noticed I didn't respond to people and I didn't talk until I was 4 or some shit, so they took me to a (((doctor))), and he said I had "autism" so my mother got a big juicy disability check from me for years until I joined the Academic Team at school, which some bitch my mom didn't like reported it to the check people and got my check revoked. I wasn't "autistic" officially from this point on.
I was isolated from everyone else until I was 11 years old. My autistic tendencies got me and my friend in trouble so I was friendless until I was 13, when me and the other loser autists came together to form a friend circle where we would play video games and have our own memes. Then when I was 14 my autistic tendencies got us in trouble so they all stopped talking to me. Later on, I got into yet another crock of shit with the school and with the law when I was 16 by myself and got permanently expelled from school, and for me to get on the homeschooling program, I had to prove I had a disability. I got diagnosed with autism when I was 17 years old.
Now I'm 18 and I'm still socially inept as ever. I'm tall and "attractive" according to girls, so I can certainly lose my virginity like I should be able to next week when I go on a date with my first girlfriend (she's a practice girlfriend). This is the first step out of the autism hole, boys.
Here, have some happy hardcore.
It will save you some trouble