Is this the first thing femanon stuck up their snatch? did your mom ever say anything about all the missing cucumbers?

is this the first thing femanon stuck up their snatch? did your mom ever say anything about all the missing cucumbers?

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>missing cucumber
>not preparing them in a salad for the whole family to enjoy later
come on now

I always used carrots they hurt but in a good way.

I put my brush handle in for the first time

I think most young girls actually use the handle of a hairbrush.

At least it's what I heard back when I had that kind of conversation with femoids.

I'm a guy so I'm not sure. But a cucumber seems too thick for a first timer, sure they would stretch up to it in time, but I doubt something thicker than the average adult dick would be a good first time masturbation aid for a 12 year old.

fuckin bugs bunny vagina lmao

>all the missing cucumbers?
They normally just wash them, dry them and put them back in their place.

You might have eaten a salad that got more pussy than any of us.

I had the habit to go to school with it, but real toys are better.

stop larking, you're a man, are you fat?

you brought your dildo carrots to school with you? why?

No, i'm not fat and I'm not larping.

I was messing around with a sharpie on my clit when I was 11 and then my hand slipped and I accidentally penetrated myself.

Because I was an horny idiot, I didn't had any notion of things.

the first time you had sex did you "accidentally" fall vagina first on a penis?

Only women would put things inside themselves. That, and the gays.

Right up the pooper wololo

Ayeeeyoyoyo!

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I hope the cap was on.

I-its not gay if the feet don't touch!! r-right?

whats the strangest thing femanons have stuck up there

i've never had sex, but knowing me thats probably the only way I would lolol

pls accidentally fall on my pp. its a nice pp and wont hurt you

hmmm.. screwdriver, a whole regular sized flashlight, spoons, markers, tweezers, a knife handle, glowsticks, neutrogena facial cleanser brush, a novelty bottle of gold flakes, and a perfume bottle.

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What of these too hurt more?

>screwdriver
philips or flat head?

Philips, but it was the cable.

WHO A!!!! *trips and falls directly in your lap and then notices my pussy has been impaled* owo

Philips, the handle had a nice texture and was juuust the right thickness for 12yo me

what felt best? asking for a friend

>what felt best? asking for a friend
a whole regular sized flashlight

hold up. that was your dads screwdriver wasnt it? you gave it back to him didnt you

screwdriver, flashlight, and the knife handle. take my advice and do not try to jerk off with tweezers. I was young and stupid

Did you turn it on once it was inside?

hehehehehehehe no I did not.

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No, the switch was inside me, how would this be possible.

well at least you didnt give him back a tainted daughter vagina screwdriver

and whomst the fuck are you?

how the fuck do you jerk off with tweezers wha the fuck

This confirms it, only a woman would post to mojo while discussing juvenile masturbatory experience.

Like a maglite, or smaller

A small maglite but a maglite none the less.

making a mental note if i ever have a daughter: hide the cucumbers, hide the carrots, hide the screwdrivers, hide the flashlights

Hide the paintbrushes, too.

And cut her fingers off...

Dont let her shower, either. Bathing only.

jesus christ
ill make her wear fucking mittens at all times with an alarm system rigged up to it like a goddamn ankle bracelet

This sounds hot, I'd have to sit on something without using my hand.

You dint think bout paintbrushe, didya?

FUCK i forgot about the washing machine. shit. i guess we're hand washing laundry.

I put the end of it inside me, but them my skin got wedged in the part where the metal is connected and i couldn't get it unstuck. I couldn't tell my parents either cause it was too embarrassing so I had to rip it out, it hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER and took 2 weeks to heal.

i've never used penetration. i've only ever needed clitoral stimulation to get off and desu that's not a bad deal.

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clitoral stimulation>>>> masturbating with something that isn't a dildo

The point of penetration is to keep it there for a long time

i did not think someone could sink so low as to stick a paint brush up their vagina. women have no respect for mens tools.

When you are young and horny, anything look good.

my tool now

well at least you two didnt find your dads power tools

Did you find them?

>mfw I convinced my first 14yo e-gf to stick a banana in there and take pictures for me
good times

Did you recorded it and made her watch?

i p-promise i was just fixing something

no, she lived like 400km away from me and we only saw each other a couple of years later
she's the one that took the pictures for me, she even went so far as to take a picture of her eating it

thats one based nasty slut

Oh yeah, but can you fix your life?

A shame it'd be cute to make her watch it again and again while she masturbate.

shut the fuck up, she was cute and pure and i'm the one that corrupted her

This is less hot and more cute

she probably stuck cream cheese up her pussy for her boyfriend before you

I used a small toy kaleidoscope.

Girls are anything but pure

no, I took her virginity in some shitty hotel room
I still remember the owner being mad at me the next day because of the tainted bedsheets haha

did femanons ever steal their sisters dildo?

No, I'm the single daughter and carrots are good enough.

>did you stain yourself orange.

>carrots are good enough

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>are
>not 'were'
mmmhhh

What does stain mean, I'm not american.
Yes, they are harsh and some are pretty big, better than dildos.

>Yes, they are harsh and some are pretty big, better than dildos.
mfw i cant compete with carrotchad

People who consume too many carrots can develop orange skin due to high levels of pigments. Did masturbating with carrots change your skin color slightly orange?

you eat them afterwards, right
can't waste food after all

No user, hours inside me didn't changed my color , what a shame.

Of course I eat them, most of the time crude.

eating a vagina carrot a day keeps the depression away

Okay, best of luck. Be sure to wash your carrots before hand. I am going to bed.

Jesus fuck, maybe we should ask which household items have you all NOT stuck up your pussies. From food to writing utensils nothing even remotely cylindrical is safe from you monsters

the first thing I stuck up there was actually a butter knife when I was maybe 6 years old. I don't really remember.

I can't really differentiate between wet dreams of sticking things up there and reality so take this for granted, this is me btw a FtM STP (fake dick that you piss out of), a plunger handle with underwear over them (very painful, don't recommend), a long bottle
honestly, that's all I can remember

Nice male LARP, I give it a six out of ten.

nothing I could say could make you believe I am a female and I'm not posting a tit pic, so, as burden of proof, sure user, you're right, I'm stroking my canoli over the memory of sticking a butterknife in my crotch

CHALLENGE TIME:
find something within hand reach, insert and post photo with timestamp!

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sluts. Get off r9k.


dfdsfdsf

Hello, I am a "FemAnon" like you!

I once placed a phallic object inside of my vagina.

Don't forget to upvote and subscribe!

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>wants to find a girl to have sex with
>finds girls
>calls them sluts and tells them to leave

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call me weak all you want, but ive only been able to use fingers. it hurts me to stick anything wider than 2 fingers up there. i fear sex as much as i may want it. perhaps if i tried it more often id enjoy it, but i cant shake the fear of hurting myself

ive never put anything up my vag, im too scared to because it will hurt and im the biggest pussy

Look how disgusting women are. Even dogs seem more noble than these creatures.

a wooden drum stick
i took my own virginity so nobody else could have it and so i could use tampons comfortably in the future

>biggest pussy
Im sure youre fine

And this is where user knew, it was a boy.

>not peeling the cucumber first
amateur hour

Girls like this are the best girls. I bet you don't have grotesque cow utters, right buddy? Just a cute chestlet chest and probably short hair too. I'm always right so I must be correct about this.