If you are distressed please call the national suicide hotline

>>call a hotline
>Cops come get you into a psych ward unless you kys yourself in that very moment

Stop it with this meme. They only call the cops if you say you have a definite method ("I have a gun, I'm going to hang myself, etc."), or if you're dumb enough to call from one of those special suicide phones they have on bridges and subway stations. They know a lot of people who call the number are losers who just need someone to talk to.

What is this cops meme?

They don't call the cops on you unless you make it seem like you really are going to hurt yourself in that moment. They always ask "are you feeling suicidal?" and you just say 'no' because you aren't retarded.

Beat me to it. Ha.

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If you think they won't send you into a funny house down the line now that they know you're a threat to yourself, i don't know what to tell you.
Even if you say that you arent doing it right now, you are definitely put on a list.

pisses me off when anyone says this shit

>maybe some meds or in my case, belittling and insulting me.
how does that happen? what does he say?

so what are you supposed to say to a kike when your trying to get diagnosed and get neetbux?
am i supposed to lie about not wanting to kill myself?

>Put on a list

This has little to no impact on anyone's life. It is merely a safety precaution that will never matter to you unless you're one of the extreme cases.

Most people here are harmless and are not a threat to society.

Hey, it works for 30 minutes at least

See, that's what I thought until my shrink kept calling me threatening. I'm a fucking paranoid manlet scared of people. How the fuck am I threatening to you?

>manlet
they say the smallest people are usually the angriest.

We are living in a clown world and always have been my friend.

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And then you get branded as a deranged cretin for the rest of your days
People will give you sympathy at first but if they did not think you were a freak before they definitely will after

>mass suicide epidemic
>people literally killing themselves so much it is a leading cause of death
>only response from our benevolent state is a poorly manned hotline

therapists my as well be teenage sympathizers. After seeing how they treat people it's really just what it amounts to.

Drink plenty of water uwu

Woah thanks guy on the phone!
from now I will change myself , I will no longer be depressed and get rid of all the mental illness I have , I will improve my genetics , get a gf , a good job , start college, buy an house , quit smoking , stop drinking , quit fapping , go to church , vote , get rid of toxic people around me.

its so easy thanks! from now I'll be an example!

Normalfags that post stupid platitudes like this on social media are literally sociopaths. They make fun of people that are mentally ill and never actually go out of their way reach out or help anyone and then when you kill yourself they use your death for attention

I don't even know why suicide hotlines exist, if you're at the point where you're calling one then you clearly don't want to kill yourself.

Seems like they literally only exist so people can feel better about themselves and so middle class college kids can put working at one on their CV

>Bro, just take a shower and go to see a move and you'll feel way better! Trust me, I heard that on Reddit!

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i know a guy who had the cops called on him for being suicidal. the cops came, put him in cuffs, brought him to the hospital, whoever was there asked him if he wanted to commit suicide, he said no, and then they let him go.
that's it.

What else can you do? we're just friendly over the internet
I wish we could give better advice or even better, personal 1-1 when I could help the person to get out of the abism but I don't have the skills to do that, so I recommend to someone that does

>hey man, dont be sad. Itll be alright
Oh so sadness is just optional then?

yea thats all its for, to give some fucking asshole a volunteering credit on their resume.
this suicide hotline shit seems like it only exists for some twisted bizarre appearance of empathy or something.

And they talk to you like children.

>Call
>"We are on vacation from the 1st of June until the 28th of August"
Okay then

>the police are here to help you and stop you from hurting yourself
>that's why they have guns

On the News
Cops saved the day by killing an user who tried to kill himself!!
more at 5

>call suicide hotline
>few mins later hear loud angry knocking at the door
>open the door
>cops ask for ID
>grab ID from back pocket
>"GUN! GUN! GUN!"
>*BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM*
>local man committed suicide by cop, more at 5

classic American activity

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The hotlines don't know your location.

They're effectiveness is wuestionsble, but at the least they've always helped me can down.

honestly thinking about calling a warmline, maybe they could give me a ride to a ward.
too pussy to call a hotline because I don't want to interact with police
hotlines are for emergencies and always end in dealing with police or ambulances, what chat goes on is meant as distraction to get the appropriate people to you asap.
if this was after a major event such as that youtuber who killed himself, theres gonna be people trying to mimic, you probably also live in a city. other heights of suicide are holidays, winter/cold weather and weekends, so it could've been just bad timing
>do mushrooms
>fall back into 6 month long psychosis
thanks! I'm Cured!
I lie to myself and say I'm doing this all to get a better case for needbux.

>be suicidal
>call suicide hotline
>"sir, are you suicidal?"
>"no"
>they hang up

Seriously, anyone who wants to end it should have a psychedelic experience. Nothing but good can come out of it if you were going to kill yourself anyway.

I remember feeling like I went through 20 years worth of therapy sessions after taking LSD

>I remember feeling like I went through 20 years worth of therapy sessions after taking LSD
so how does that work what happened?

someone posted a screenshot of this thread on a facebook meme page

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Unironically this but with LSD in my case. I fell in love with life, nature and the universe and I was pretty chill and happy for like a full year. Sadly I slowly started coming back to my previous state. I want to try it again.

>Go to a therapist
>Bring up a cat we started to take care of
>He starts talking about rabies and how they need to look at it's brain after it dies and shit
>Keeps going on about rabies and how she might have it

Jesus fucking Christ I never went back.

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This post made me laugh thank you.

what's the name of this page?

4channel.reddit/r/

>giving them free press
idk, a generic "blahblahmeme supreme II" shit

>mfw suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and life is what you make of it

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>Don't kys bro. Life gets better you just need to give it a chance. People love you!

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who came up with that?
i'm pretty sure being a hated non functioing autist isn't temporary

>I was gonna kill myself but instead I called the suicide guys so they could "convince" me not to
Why do normans do this shit, do they seriously think anyone believes them?

They tell you to talk to someone if you're having suicidal thoughts, even if you don't actually have a plan in place. But you do that and people get mad that you're just "looking for attention". Nobody cares until you actually have the rope around your neck.

>ahh user youre still so young you can still turn your life around
>stay away from guns if youre thinking about shooting yourself btw have you thought about joining the army?

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My therapist helps me

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I really hate it when people without mental issues try to offer advice. Before I was actually diagnosed with anxiety, I thought I had it, so I constantly googled on how to deal with it. Literally every single page was just shit like "take a deep breath" or "think about something else"

BITCH IF THAT COULD SOLVE MY PROBLEM THEN I WOULDN'T BE GOOGLING THIS SHIT

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Reminder Ted Bundy worked at a suicide hotline.

Is it bad that this is an original post?

>My therapist helps me
that means your a normalfaggot

Probably

I don't really think I am but ok

>I don't really think I am but ok
how is he helping you

The point of that stuff you read is that you have to remember to do them all the time until they become second nature. Granted they don't solve the problems but they do help.

but in all seriousness
>never have the guts to just do it
>literally constantly thinking about it

How did Putin achieve so much success despite being a manlet?