I've been browsing this website for around 10 years now and only recently I have escaped the environment that surrounds it. I have come to a conclusion that for me personally was difficult to accept but now I've realised it is definitely true. This is a situation that I would assume applies to most of you on here so I'd like to share the thought.
Yes, we know this place and all the internet spaces surrounding this are incredibly 'toxic'. But normies are shit too, right? Well, 95% of people on here have mental issues. Most of the people on OKcupid do too. Have you heard your parents telling you things are your fault? Have you heard that guy you talk to saying you need to fix your shit? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that will make you spiral into feeling worse. All that tumblr bullshit where they accept everyone and 'you are loved no matter what' are the kind of things that all your friends should be saying. That's how it works it most of the normie world. So for years I always thought I was the problem - my parents told me everything was my fault, the guys I met told me I have issues of some sort, but guess what I've detached myself from these sort of places, from my parents, and suddenly, I don't have issues. Turns out it's not always you who's the problem. So what I really want to tell you girls on here is that you should really try to speak to actual 'nice' people. It changes your life when suddenly nothing you do seems wrong and you are accepted rather than told that you're a shit person. It's one thing for me to say, you are loved, you are okay, I would hug you, but I know that in reality you need to erase everyone from your life who isn't like this. Be like this yourself. Wake up happy every day. That's the norm. That's what you should be aiming for. Not everyone is against you. I promise.
>I'm entitled to be a soggy turd that gets unconditional acceptance even though all I do is judge >I don't have to work on myself because I'm perfect just the way I am It must feel good to be that self centered.
It's not about being self centred. I am really for self improvement but it can be done in a positive way. Instead of 'you're a piece of shit cause you failed school' you get a 'what else would you want to do in life? It's good to be creative'. You know? The way people say things really matters for your self esteem and I think most of Jow Forums really doesn't realise this. Being happy is nice. Being nice to other people is nice.
Jack Gray
>All that tumblr bullshit where they accept everyone and 'you are loved no matter what' are the kind of things that all your friends should be saying. That's how it works it most of the normie world.
How incredibly retarded of an outlook. Coddling and placating bad behavior and absolving oneself from personal responsibility. What a great way to live life.
Get out.
Brody Howard
You're threading on a thin line. It's one thing to find out that some of the "issues" people said you had aren't issues, but acting like you don't have issues at all, that's just denial, and unconditional acceptance? Sorry but only a slave would accept another person unconditionally. It's one thing to accept and not care about flaws so long as they don't harm anyone, but accepting everything and acting like those flaws don't exist? You're not asking for a friend, you're asking for a slave. If you have issues, you identify them and you fix them, no one will save you from your problems, so you must put in work to fix them yourself. What you SHOULD do is learn to accept yourself, despite whatever issues you have or think you have and learn to love yourself, little by little. a healthy self esteem is a good thing and it's not like suddenly caring a bit more will make you a full on narcissist.
Isaac Jenkins
The worst thing imo is when girls from here get with guys from here and you both make each other worse with being overly dependent on each other and as much as you think you're showing love to the other person, you're just spiralling into an unhealthy relationship over the span of around a year and then it breaks in tears and drama. I've seen it happen many times. It's not that anyone has bad intentions I think it's just because none of has have been surrounded with genuinely nice people in our lives and we don't know how to live whilst being loved by someone.
Charles Gutierrez
Positive reinforcement works better than negativity and punishment. It's a well-known fact. You don't exactly have to convince them their mistakes are a great thing or anything, just encourage them to do better instead of punishing them for doing bad. (not OP)
Owen Martinez
Yes I think you're right,I should've made myself clearer
William Foster
I just come here to shitpost. I'm doing good and I have a very loving bf. I'm doing 100x better than my parents. Coming here gives me entertainment and nothing more. It seems like your problem is that you lack any self worth. I can guarantee you that it doesn't matter who you're friends with if you don't have any self worth. My friends are all edgy shitlords but we get along because we have shit in common. I don't need a hugbox to feel validated. I'd probably feel a lot worse if all my friends kissed my ass and weren't comfortable enough around me to shoot the shit.
That is correct, I'm just saying that there's a thin line. I agree completely that positive reinforcement beats out negative.
Jacob Collins
It's alright, now you know. I appreciate your intentions, it's good to see someone trying to give people a hand every once in a while.
Jason Gray
You are skirting around the problem. Women are by and large shit and face practically no consequences for their behavior. They are demonstrably out-of-control oversized children that enjoy family court, affirmative action, hiring quotas, custody rights, disproportionate support systems, higher quality of life, higher life expectancies, I could go on.
Coddling them and supporting them, when they already are actively destroying the very fabric of civilization, is hysterical.
Men boast 9 suicides per 100,000, whereas women sit comfortably at 2 per 100,000. But go on right ahead and preach about positivity about women and in the same breath call men incel rapists.
You deserve rape, death and suffering for what you have done to the world. You invited islam, so you will get your suicidal wish one way or another.
Elijah Young
It's happiness that needs to be evoked, not suffering.
Jacob Fisher
Oh yeah, I agree with you then. We should still encourage a person to better themselves instead of making them completely complacent with their flaws, and it seems we both agree that this should be done in a positive manner.
I do wonder why this thread is aimed purely at femanons? I think most of what you said can be applied to male anons too.
Leo Jones
Women can only have these thoughts about other women, not about people in general
Isaiah Sanchez
I aimed it at femanons because I don't think it's as easy with men. I think men can be surrounded with love and care and still get very sad but for a woman in this position it'd be much more difficult.
Kayden Sanchez
I believe one should always strive to improve themselves and evolve, that's how I aim to live my life, to quote an anime "if you're gonna dig, dig to the heavens". Today we are alive, tomorrow we may not be so I treat life as a game and I'm reaching for the high score. To me, it all begins with you, you must learn to love yourself, gain some pride and joy and from there you use it to fuel yourself to fight life's misfortunes and win, the best thing you can do for a friend is to believe in them when they can't believe in themselves, to give them a little push and encourage them down the road of self acceptance, and from there, they'll be set free from whatever chains are holding them back.
Well said, I agree wholeheartedly, strive to be the best person you can be and push those around you to do the same!
I guess, self-doubt seems to be a larger problem among women in current society, it's a nice message either way and I think anyone can benefit from it.
Austin Baker
I agree completely, it's not enough to succeed, I won't be satisfied unless I push others up as well!
Brody Gray
>you are loved no matter what this is a cult conditioning tactic, dumbass
John Campbell
>there should be no punishment for failing and there should be positive reinforcement of existing >today is a good day because you were yourself This is the fucking zoomer logic where the shit you do isn't bad, everyone who mentions it or (god forbid) holds it against you is bad.
This happened to me too. Can confirm that it happens, as soon as I managed some independence I began feeling happy and hopeful for the future because I no longer had to listen to mentally ill family members everyday.
Sidenote: Femanons must be the only ones who truly listen to the advice to get away from their families, for whatever reason male anons seem to be so dependent on their mothers that it would never occur to them that they're the problem. They just stay there rotting like idiots.
t. femanon
Daniel Rodriguez
>femanons must be the only ones who listen to advice to get away from their families more like femanons can just go outside and get a bf who'll help them with rent and emotional support. check your privilege, hoe
David Sullivan
Yeah no fucking shit. So you'elre saying I should stay away from shitty people? Who would've thought? Pure genius! And what's all this 'femanon' bullshit, this stuff happens to everyone, cunt. You're not entitled to being loved, you have to deserve it. Expecting people to love and respect you unconditionally is not realistic unless you get yourself a beta pushover that agrees with anything you say and is more akin to an emotional tampon than an actual human being.
Xavier Watson
In a normal human relationship, no one is an 'emotional tampon' because both people tell each other their thoughts and worries and listen to each other equally. If you ever thought of yourself as an 'emotional tampon' then your mindset is one of the ones I told others to avoid
Charles Long
that was... well worded. i have to think about things.
Aaron Howard
Why is it bad when I just want to love someone? How does it devolve into tears? The only way that happens is if one or the other cheats or you don't want rk be with one another.
Christopher White
anyone who actually takes hate speech on Jow Forums to heart does not belong here not because some inspirational crap but because they need to learn to brush off bullshit.
Not saying don't leave this site or don't improve yourself, just that coddling yourself is embarassing. Strength isn't "deep" quote posters and shitty reposts. True strength is integrity, grit, and a willingness to fight to get to where you want to be.
Adam Hughes
Despite the fact this makes incels salty it is true. Women don't have to self improve in the same way men do. Just self accept and men will love her anyways
Jose Lopez
The thing is I have no friends and I never speak to my parents or siblings. At least I can find some people here to talk to. I can literally go weeks without speaking to any human. How did you get out of the loneliness and internet attention seeking? I have problems talking with guys online and I send them pictures of myself all the time. I feel disgusted with myself desu. All for attention.
Blake Bailey
If you seriously think women don't use sub-Chad men as emotional tampons, you're probably one of those that are constantly using men as emotional tampons. Spend a long time reflecting on how you exchange time and attention with your contacts; not that it'll help, since if you had any introspection, you wouldn't be making such retarded posts.
Matthew Moore
You know you could get attention even without whoring yourself out, so why do it?
Jason Nguyen
When will you idiots realize that the people who tell you that life is good and that you are gonna make it are the ones who want the best for you. Stop surrounding yourself with bullies and losers and surround yourself with people who try to make life better.
Ryder Carter
tl; dr
Fucking whore
Levi Davis
>Have you heard your parents telling you things are your fault? Have you heard that guy you talk to saying you need to fix your shit? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that will make you spiral into feeling worse. HEALTHY AT EVERY SIZE FUCK BIGOTS
Jaxon Ramirez
but we like nudie pics
Jacob Perry
I talk to multiple fembots and no pictures were ever involved. Perhaps stop settling for idiots and being one yourself.
Angel Morris
This is actually a very good post. This board really is 95% mentally ill people, and, as such, we should be making more of an effort to try to be accepting and supportive towards each other. This isn't to say that we ought to be judgemental to those who do not conform to a culture of acceptance (like tumblr does it), but that we should set up a culture where the rejection of acceptance is met with understanding and reason. That being said, there are a lot of mentally ill people who are abusive (you can even see this among sjws, who also have a lot of mentally ill people). Abusive behaviour should be treated severely. I doubt there is anything that can possibly be done to make someone stop being abusive. There is something fundamentally wrong with them that causes them to be like that. To keep them around is to guarantee that you will be abused again.
The only problem with this is that having a hard attitude towards abuse can backfire if what constitutes abuse is poorly defined and left to the judgment of bad admins.
Parker Wilson
As a guy who used to hang out with a lot of sjw-type people, I can validate what you said. The culture of unconditional acceptance leads to shallow friendships and the formation of diva complexes. Maybe it was originally made to help people with mental illnesses, but currently it doesn't work that way. It actually ends up being taken advantage by abusive people, who are allowed to be as vicious as possible, just as long as those they are abusing are people who don't practice unconditional acceptance too. Also, on their internet groups this is expanded to the point where the frequent verbal abuse of people with non-oppressed identities is completely accepted as "venting". So if we want to create places where mentally ill people can help each other get better, we have to learn from the mistakes of people who tried doing it before us. Neither a near unmoderated space or a culture of unconditional acceptance will do.
