I can't go on like this anymore. After being diagnosed with ASD a month ago, it's all falling into place finally. Anxiety that would kill the average person, rocking back and forth when upset. Nobody wants to hire me due to my autisticness. I go out, look a few people in the eye, then instantly run back home because it's overwhelming as fuck making eye contact. What's funny is, I had a girlfriend. Shocker, yeah. Of course, I blew it by stimming in front of her and she knew right then and there I wasn't right in the head. SHE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Weeks after she dumped me I flew into a meltdown and hurt my cat, my only fucking friend in this shitty world. He trusted me, cared about me, and I hurt him all because I'm an autistic piece of shit. After my aunt kicks me out next week (can't afford to pay her), I'm roping. Hope you all make it in life, because I sure won't.
Ready to end my life
>stimming
addygang or is this some autism speak?
>it's another installment of "lets pick a meme disorder and blame everything on that"
Regardless of how you feel rest assured there's thousands of people feeling the exact same thing still able to carry themselves gracefully through everyday life, so yea, do everyone a favour and end it.
OP, What level autistic are you? High functioning? I cant even post in this threa because im literally dying of autism and mental illness. What kind of stims do you have aside from rocking?
dude, being a self aware autistic person is hell. We will literally never be normal and are unable to function in society. Its too overwhelming. People think that autistic people can just be held to the same standards as normal people, but simultaneously we get treated differently regardless of what we do. And autistic people have high comorbidity with other mental illness, so some of us cant handle things the same as someone with just plain autism.
Shit fucking sucks bro! But you're right, we should end our lives.
OP dont go yet. I want to chat with you.
I was diagnosed with asd and yours sounds a lot worse I am just a bit socially awkward like I struggle to make eye contact and I can't talk to a girl without feeling nervous even if I dont find them attractive
i dont want the thread to die, but i think OP did already.
Off the top of my head: randomly punching myself, putting a finger near my ass and smelling it, or an urge to have sex with animals (repetitive thoughts)
It is pure hell having HFA. Had I known I had autism years ago, this post would not exist. OCD comes with autism as well, so I'll obsessive over people too by making random accounts and talking to them. I'll change up my writing style in hopes they don't catch on, but of course, my autism gives it away. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
>Off the top of my head: randomly punching myself, putting a finger near my ass and smelling it, or an urge to have sex with animals (repetitive thoughts)
I can tick off all that and I don't even have autism, stop feeling sorry for yourself fgt.
aside from the sex with animals part, i relate entirely. I'll get a sample of of a song stuck in my head and it'll play on loop ALL THE TIME. Or ill get somebodies name stuck in my head and ill repeat it in my head over and over again. Sometimes ill even say it out loud. And im all too familiar with the stims and tics. I dont think ive got a problem with OCD, but i probably wouldnt even be able to recognize if im being OCD or not.
Why do you make accounts to talk to people? Whats a an average day for you user?
Theres a difference between doing something sometimes, and doing it compulsively repetitively and frequently.
We dont feel sorry for ourselves, we just hate the fact that this is our lives that we have to live for 80 years. Its fucking depressing. I dont want to be like this. And i got other mental disorders that make a GREAT combination with autism too. 100% worse my friend. Im glad you're neurotypical, please enjoy your normal life.
Wake up, get berated by my aunt for not having a job which always ends in me raging at her. Hop on Reddit and browse Jow Forumsmentalhealth or Jow Forumssocialanxiety in hopes of finding someone like me. Someone who understands. Hardly anyone does, but I still try anyways. NTs say "oh you're fine you'll grow out of your autism". Lmfao ignorant fuckers. Finding a home for my cat is my current goal. One lady offered to take him in, hopefully she will. He deserves a better home.
Gross dude, maybe stopping using reddit will cure you of your autism. Jow Forums is your home. We understand. They're faggots. But legit, I had a psychiatrist in the psych ward tell me to my face "you can grow out of autism" I laughed directly in his face for real. He was a fuckin quack. I thought he was a good psychiatrist up until that point.
I relate to having no job, its fucking hard to work when you're fucked in the head. But dont get mad at you're aunt, just tell her that you cant work like a normal person because of the autism and its true. Shes not the one that made you autistic. And i think you should keep your cat. Like you said hes your best friend, just love on him. But i guess if you're gonna kill yourself it doesnt matter.
Bro, he runs in the opposite direction when he sees me. Whatever we had, if it was love, is now gone. Shit kills me inside but it is my fault. Working shit out with my aunt is gonna be tough, but I'll try. Appreciate the advice, broski.
seriously though i fully understand what you're going through im in the very same situation. My landlord is always joking about me not having a job. Pisses me the fuck off. I recognize that i am restricted in what i can do in my circumstances. Life really does suck for us. And i really think that suicide is the humane thing to do for us. It fuckin hurts man, you know.
You can mend your relationship with your cat though, you just have to let him come to you. Even if it takes just sitting on the floor when you see him. He learns from behavior. Behave like you dont know him and you want him to be your friend. How bad did you hurt him out of curiosity? Depending on how much it hurt him it might take longer to get him to trust you again, but i really think that its beneficial if you at least try to rebuild his trust in you, for the reason of wanting to kill yourself.
user, he hates my god damn guts! He scatters before I even see him. I miss my fuckin' buddy, ffs. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I feel a fucking meltdown coming on, I'm putting on my favorite anime to cool me down (pic related).
make sure you come back before the thread dies. You said you were looking for someone that understands you. I know where you're comin from man.
idk what i have and idc i wont go and talk to anyone about it, if i cant fix it myself then nobody else can help me
there is no point in victimizing and coddling myself and labeling myself as mentally ill, life doesnt care and reality will eat you alive unless you have a support system, which i dont because every time i ever tried reaching out i was rejected in ways that made me lose feeling to the point i simply shoved it away in my subconscious
my idea of entertainment when im alone is rocking back and forth like a retard for hours running back and forth and sporadically scrambling around my room just laughing like a supervillain while i conjure up grotesque surreal visions in my head and talk to myself, god, satan, aliens and interact with projections and i hallucinate horrifying morbidities and have insane nightmares and paralysis and feel this vivid sixth sense comprehension of impossible ideas that make me feel hopeless meaningless and empty of pleasure beyond pleasure through my own pain i feel insane just constantly bursting into manic laughter, sobbing and screaming fits of violence all at once destroying property and hurting myself been to jail for mental breakdowns been to nut houses for suicide in my teens i pretend that i care about changing to appease i always cater to others whims but in reality all i can think about is alcohol and self destruction and the stress is eating me alive my hair is turning pure white in my 20s from stress just like my schizophrenic fathers did who is dying alone from alcoholism and smoking induced lung cancer and the only way i can unlock pleasure and understanding of human connection beyond pain is drinking myself into destruction also i wake up screaming even if i sleep with human warmth and they told me i have no social skills whatsoever and it freaked them out that i cant make eye contact but its AWESOME BYE
This, right here, is mental illness boys. I'm ok with my autism after reading this.
Apply for disability you autist.
Cut expenses v low and try to get therapy.
Slowly, you can progress towards higher levels of functionality
T. Guy with ASD
>life impairing mental disorders simply don't exist
You should get checked you might be mentally disabled yourself
I literally fucking hate you and leave me alone please kindly if you would.
>durr just get over your mental disorder or kys
People who step on others like this are always pathetic weaklings themselves. Everyone can see right through you, you pretentious faggot.
Get some tugboat money and never leave your parents house. Maybe you'll get a boyfriend free girl some day.
>tfw this could be you in 10 years
bumping for the continued existence of this autism thread
bumping for OPs life
Stop watching anime OP and come back and hang out with us
Is ''suicide monday/sunday'' just a meme?
ignore this post OP I'm just asking other people here.
Fuck me don't want to go back to the office tomorrow and fix my stuff.
Why am I being paid to think. I could have been a waiter in a fucking restaurant.
>ignore this post OP
how new are you?
also suicide IS a meme. Nobody actually does it.
>don't question me just pamper me and shower me in sympathy waaaaahbloblooh
Fuck off. I'm firmly convinced 9 out of 10 of you have 0 legitimacy.
OP are you dead or watching lucky star?
If you had a gf before, then you have a chance. I hope you make it through these mental challenges you face. Believe me, I understand completely what you're going through, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If you end up going through with it though, meet me in the after life brother. I'm sure if there was an afterlife of pure infinity, then it wouldn't be hard to find each other. Good luck on the rest of your life, and after.
You're an ignorant sack of shit. autism is a disease that exists, it affects brain functions and processes at a large scale. Having autism makes someone many times more likely to suicide because it is the root of many of a persons problems, regardless if you moron thinks it's legitimate or not.
self stimulatory behaviors. Basically, autists like to do weird things like hitting themselves or flapping limbs because it stimulates their nerves.
>randomly punching myself, putting a finger near my ass and smelling it, or an urge to have sex with animals (repetitive thoughts)
Only one of those are a stim the rest is just degeneracy.