Its been almost a year and I still cry about it all the time. He was my first bf, kiss, love... And most of all the best friend I ever had. It was the happiest time in my life by far and I just want to go back. I just want to go back so badly. But there's no point getting back together because he doesn't want or love me anymore. And told me pretty clearly. I just don't know how the rest of my life will be, I don't want to date anyone ever again. All that is left of me is a broken heart that wants to go back in time. I have nothing left to give. I have no sex drive anymore and the thought of ever kissing another person makes me sick. I used to be here and feel sorry for myself for being a kissless virgin in my twenties. And then I met him and he was just everything I prayed so hard for. He used to me an autistic memer like me and he just got me so well. And now I'm back here, feeling greatful that I finally had that shot at pure happiness in my life but so painfully sad that it's only memories now.
Anyone feel like the best part of their life is over forever too?
Women cannot love so it's not like you won't love again, you never have.
Luis Gray
i want you to know that if you're gay you should slit you're throat wide open. your feelings, hopes, dreams have negative value. nobody cares about gay people dude. you faggots are an eyesore and a nuisance; a mentally ill circus freak show thats gone on for way too long. you and your kind need to be snuffed out. id smile watching you writhe in a gasoline fire, listening to your blood curdling screams until the flames reached your voicebox and snuffed out your life forever
Josiah Hernandez
Anyone else feel like they will never love at all?
It's rough i get it but robots cant relate
Jaxson Gonzalez
It's true. Because I couldn't even love him as much as I needed to keep him. I would push him away and I just didn't know how to love. But I wanted to.
Ian Wood
aaaand there it is
>pushed him away
code for "treated him like garbage"
Easton Lewis
I tried to make him happy and do romantic stuff for him and make him feel special. But honestly I couldn't love well enough. I have mental health issues too so it makes it worse. Probably I deserve this but I just wish I didn't.
Noah Garcia
I don't think love is real. Or at least, not everyone is going to truly experience a mutual, romantic love.
Nicholas King
It's the truth. Just really sad to take it in.
Levi Anderson
I can't handle the pain of loss. I spend hours on crying and wake up with tremors from the stress. All I want more than anything is just to hug him and never have it end.
Kevin Collins
Quit being dramatic. I guarantee you can find someone with whom you could get magnitudes more close with. All you have to do is try. Smh I hate seeing people with victim complexes.
Luis Anderson
I mean the only problem is the sleepless nights but thats really just it. Cant really yearn for a relationship if youve never been in one or get to experience it in my case.
Christian Ortiz
>I couldn't love well enough. I have mental health issues too so it makes it worse.
Just stop euphemizing it, you had total freak-outs where you called him horrible names, cut yourself, threatened suicide, etc. We all know what "not loving well enough due to mental health issues" means.
Michael Sanders
>sappy selfish crap >14yo white girl >More overdramatic bullshitting >Waaaaaaaa Sorry I don't speak tumblr.
Xavier Gutierrez
i feel like this too, i wish i had a time machine
Ryan Perry
Me too, that's exactly how I feel. Thank you. I just wish it was possible to go back. If there's a heaven when I die I just want to go back and live that year again, as if it was new and the first time.
Robert Smith
I've withdrawn for the past five years since she left me forever. I've gone on a few dates here and there, but I'm so afraid of getting close to people. My personality is exhausting, it tires even me out. I can't imagine someone wanting to stay with me. I've been running on empty for so long. I was such a shit boyfriend in the end and I regret so many things I said/did. I feel you, OP. I cried quietly to myself every day for a year after the separation.
Easton Cooper
Thanks for sharing your story. Makes me feel less alone in this.
James Martinez
No rules active Jow Forums server, get the fuck in here already: https:\\discord.io\KvmJ3kb
I really loved a girl for 6 years of my life. We ended up dating, but I pushed her away. She moved to another state and is now dating a guy. Im in the dumps.
Oliver Perez
i wonder if he thinks of me as often as i think of him, i still get butterflies in my tummy. if only he loved me as i love him
Jace Watson
yeah and then i grew up and realized none of that shit matters unless someone has absolutely no options whats keeping them from leaving you?
>1 year ago >had my first kiss and touches with a girl >really like her but she broke up really quickly >friend literally just messaged me that she deepthroated him >they havent been a thing in forever I feel sick.
Benjamin Ramirez
This is like exactly what happened with me and my first gf. Are you her? jk. I wish I could say it gets better, but it's been 18 months now and it's only gotten worse
Nolan Rodriguez
But user I still love you...
Andrew Scott
>OP won't respond to this looks like you hit the nail on the head
Ethan Price
Very recently.
Friends with her for a few years, so much in common. Seeing her made the day worthwhile. Expressed my feelings one night and she fealt the same.
She moved closer to be with her family and after all the talks and my doubts about making the move. Did it and 6 months later it happened, she fucking dumped me because she's depressed and needs to fix herself ect.
I snapped. My brain overloaded, I was ditched in a town with no support, no family. Just my car and clothes.
Don't you dare mope around expecting sympathy, you pushed him away and blame your mental illness, what a weak excuse to push your partner away. I fucking bet he would of stuck by you like I would to her..
Even IF he came back, he will never be the same person you loved.
Jacob Murphy
Life is a soul-crushing war of attrition against your standards. I have lost chance after chance after chance at something resembling love, but that's not the point. Once you find out life doesn't have happiness as it pertains to your ideal, you'll settle for distractions. Little by little everything you expected or hoped for will atrophy away and the people you used to be with will be nothing but illusions with the flaws erased from your memory. You will chase a high like a moth chasing the sun, not physically capable of achieving the dream.
Just give up and eat shit now, it's better than starving. You'll learn to like whoever you put up with, because frankly your dream guy's not going to put up with you. Most of us don't even have the choice.
Once you learn to spot the "code words" women (and some men) use in describing their relationships, their online masks start to slip. It's so easy to present as reasonable and normal through text, but there are a lot of broken minds out there tapping away on the internet, desperate for sympathy. It's taught me never to take anyone's words at face-value; there is an absurd amount of people who speak almost entirely in bad faith, or who manipulate instinctively, without any conscious thought. (I think women do this a lot.)
