You ever been caught masturbating?

diggedy

>someone says something offensive on Jow Forums
>boooohooo waaahh incel, im a redditfag, isn't this the website for incels? I wanna be different waaaahhh

wow sweaty, incels are bad, you should feel bad. also, r/wosh
WHOOOOOSH WOOOOOSH. WHOOOOOOOOSH. WHOOOOSH. /thread

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Hello there, my fellow Jow Forums users! I have come from reddit to post on your incel board. Here's a tip for you, incels: get a girl. lamo

my little sister caught me multiple times

did she humiliate your tiny dick and make you smell her feet

>Be retard autist with no social cues
>Sitting on my bed watching the good
>Step dad comes in and tells me to do something
>Continue fapping
>He quickly leaves
>Not even 10 minutes later my brother comes in to hang out
>He's autist too so he stays longer, probably didn't notice me fapping
>He leaves eventually too
>Finish off and go about my day like nothing happened

Another one
>Be 10 year old new to fap
>Tub water faucet feels good on genitals
>Put genitals up to faucet until the happy chemicals hit
>Brother walks in
>"Hey do- AAAA"
>Door slam
>Ok
>Go back to my business

2 times, once by my mother and once by a friend
>blowdrying hair in front of mirror
>wearing just a towel
>realise I can see my cock and balls inbetween my legs from the angle in the mirror
>me being a horny 15/16 year old (at the time, not anymore mods) start getting hard
>get even harder when I realise I'm getting hard
>snowballs like that, basically I'm like gay for myself or whatever
>start fapping
>my dumb 15 year old brain thinks "ah this is perfect, I can fap as loud as I like because the noise of the hairdryer will cover it up"
>alas it was not perfect, I didn't hear my mother opening my door and she saw me full on tugging away at my cock
>she zoomed back out the room before I even realised what had happened
>couldn't look her in the eye for a full 2 weeks afterwards

>few years later, on my first holiday with my friends
>18 years old, an adult but still hormonal enough to be dumb and horny
>one afternoon we're all fucking around in the hotel pool
>for no reason at all, as you do when you're a teenager, I start feeling horny
>decide to slope off to the room for a quick fap
>"h-hey guys I think I'm just gonna go back to the room for a shower and stuff, won't be long"
>get back to the room, immediately get naked and start jerking off
>bought a porn mag and bottle of lube from duty free, pull them out my suitcase and lay them on my bed
>this is like my first or second time using proper lube, feels so good I forget where I am and what I'm doing
>about to nut
>suddenly hear the door open
>it's my friend
>"hey you in here? what's u-"
>sees me on all fours, naked, with a spunk covered magazine in front of me
>"...o-oh shit I'll come back later"
>"dw I won't tell anyone"
>practically chase after the little liar
>"WAIT COME BACK, DON'T GO DON'T FUCKING GO"
>alas he goes and tells everyone
>know this because I come back outside later on and everyone is smirking at me
>must have spoken about it loudly too because some boomer sitting nearby is looking at me in disgust

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>at my gramps flat
>really small government distributed apartment
>need to give my dick a wank
>went downtown for free wifi just so I could download porn
>come back and get to business
>I finish after like 30 mins in the bathroom
>my gramps gets super pissed, I don't even use lube so he couldn't have heard shit
>he sperged on me and said, "what are you doing in there for so long? giving your arm an exercise?

he does the hand jerking motion

>I just pokerface and tell him I was taking a shit

that was a couple years ago, ffw to now and I was supposed to be sleeping on the balcony when I heard loud moaning coming from his phone, he's 79 about to turn 80 next month. he wasn't even jerking it but I caught him watching porn so I WIN

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yes but no that's gay

>finally home from wagie time
>house looks empty so i go to my room and sit on my desktop and start looking at porn in my smartphone
>just massaging my cock cause I can't find the right video
>i have headphones so i didn't knew someone opened the door
>feel a small hand on my leg and a faint voice "what are you doing user"
>fuck its my loli cousin tell her i am watching videos
>she can't see my cock because i have a blanket it's my cum blanket
>she wants to watch a stupid video so she climbs on my lap i had to put her on my left leg so i could keep grabbing my cock with my right hand
>put a video for her on the computer
>realize her butt is soft so i pull her skirt a bit up to see her panties
>tell her if she can be on her knees because my leg hurts a bit
>she bends and puts her face close to the screen and rests her knees on my lap kinda like pic
>have a full view of her ass and jerk off
>about to cum hear door opening again but it's too late to hide i cum and let out a pleasure sound.
>sister hears me but can't see my cock so i guess she assumed i was making that sound because cousin was heavy
Best fap i had .But risky

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Funny story, when I was 17 I was hanging out with my buddies that I frequently got high as giraffe pussy with. I get to the guys house we always smoke at and hang for a bit. We get ready to light up and I realize I forgot my phone charger. I say, "hey imma be right back I gotta grab my charger from home." So, I'm driving home and I get a Snapchat from this girl and it's like half her tits hanging out, obvious flirting. I'm like shiiiit I can't get high and have blue balls at my friends house. I get home, girl hasn't really sent anything too provocative to make me stay home, so I get my charger and leave. On the way back to my friends house I get a video of this girl masturbating, at that point I had to stop. I pulled into a park parking lot at like 10:30. I return the favor, plugged my phone into the aux, turned that shit up, and I started to go to town.

Next thing you fuckin know, flashlight on my dick. Cop knocks on my passenger window. Straight panic, I turn my car off. Realize that I can't roll my window down, open my driver side door and say timidly, "the window doesn't work" and shut the door. He comes over to my door and I open it, he says, "look you can't be here doing what you're doing, I'm gonna have to write you a ticket." So I get a ticket for violation of park hours. But on the ticket it says, "violation of park hours parked in park parking lot after dark with zipper/pants undone looking at cellphone"

17 yr old me has to tell my parents, "hey your boy just got caught publicly masturbating."

Mom said, "what the fuck this is one for your father."

Dad said, "you're fuckin retarded."

Long story short, I had to go to court because it was a misdemeanor and I plead responsible and the judge dropped my charge from $150 to $60. I got extremely lucky for that except for the fact everyone in my school found out.

how old is your
>loli cousin

>WAIT COME BACK, DON'T GO DON'T FUCKING GO
Nigga what were you thinking? Why would you want your friend to stay there in your cum-reeking room while you're on the floor naked with a baby batter covered magazine?

You're a fucking madman. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing, though. What kind of pantsu were they, though
Seconding this.

>be 18
>sister is having some girl from her church group over for the night
>my room is in the hottest part of the house on a freakishly humid night, only have a fan
>sitting at computer reading Jow Forums
>see boobies
>check time
>1:54 am
>its time
>make sure door is locked
>turn webcam on so I can watch myself fapping later
>nothing like busting a nut to your past self busting a nut
>strip butt naked
>put my phone in my vr headset
>lay down on my bed and fap
>20 mins later, mission acomplished
>about an hour later I check my webcam recording
>normal until about 6 mins in
>somehow sister's friend opens my door
> she looks shocked, doesn't scream but walks back out
>a minute later, she shows back up and starts recording me jerking off
>after a minute she puts her hand down her pajama pants
>she stays for about another minute and quietly shuts the door back behind her

The closest my naked body has ever been to a girl and I didn't even know it.
She never said anything about it, but did stay a few more nights during that summer.

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I'm swelling up over here. Nice one user.

>nana and papas house
>the have a computer in the living room
>they are in the house but in the other room
>nana walks up and sees me
>walks away
>papa tells me to keep it in the bathroom

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how do you get a female be your roomate?

TFW no loli imouto-chan to "catch" you masturbating.

Through a specifically Scandinavian form of "boarding school": en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folk_high_school#Norway
We met there and became friends, and since we'd already basically lived together we were also roommates for a year after the boarding school was over.

>masturbate with your sister
>your mother comes in and catches us
>I fuck your mom

>sister out for a trip
>use her PC to play and browse pr0n
>on her PC masturbating when suddenly the door opens
>pull my hand fast, but wasn't fast enough
>"oh fuck"
>wasn't expecting her to come back early
>try to handshake and hug her but she pushed me away and avoided my hand
It's obvious she saw me and it was awkward. Glad I was a young teenager and not an adult when it happened. Less awkward.

>be 13/14
>watched porn and liked it but fapping didn't do much for me so it wasn't a big deal and ended up watching but not fapping
>mom's friend would come to our house and bring her loli (maybe 8yo) daughter along with her
>mom and her friend would get drunk together, loli would chill with me in my room
>loli likes to hug me. Cum for the first time when I'm hugging her
>literally have an orgasm for the first time when hugging her and cum in my pants
>Holy shit.
>share room with younger brother so can only fap late at night when he's asleep
>only way I can cum is by rubbing dick against computer chair, sitting opposite ways round
>realise fucking pillow is much more comfortable so start doing that
>me and brother share bunk bed so can't be too vigorous
>one night I'm shaking the bunk too much and he wakes up
>catches me doing it
>lol you fucking pervert
>tells his friend
>get bullied at school because of it
>endure this for a few weeks then everyone forgets after summer break

>be me
>room mate catches me masturbating
>leads to conversation about putting tie on door
>we've had sex before so not a big deal kind of embarrassing tho
> feel like shit cause im a sperg
>got over it.

Haha, ebin meme! Please post me on greentext stories!

Not in the act but years and years ago my friend found a video I'd taken of myself fapping on my computer. I'm pretty hung, though, and so the reaction was all about "holy shit dude your dick is huge" instead of about the fapping, and I've head to deal with dick jokes from that guy for like 10 years since then. (Particularly stuff where he'll be drunk as fuck at some party or something and go up to some girls and tell them I have a huge cock, which never gets the reaction you'd hope it would.)

>12 or 13 years old
>at a school countryside getaway trip
>perfect day from start to finish, full of activities, three cooked meals etc
>get in from going hiking or something
>dinner is prepared and eaten
>everyone is bussed to the open showers after some rec time
>first time fully naked in front of more than one person
>a couple of the boys fap in front of everyone
>watch a movie with the class in our pajamas
>time for bed
>everyone goes back to their dorms
>within five minutes the boys in the male dorm are in their beds
>lights out
>teachers had this stupid rule about having to wear pajamas while under the sheets
>also had a teacher outside the door to the boys dorm and the girls dorm to make sure everyone got to sleep fine
>super hot in the dorm, middle of summer etc
>think "fuck this" and strip naked under the sheets, not caring about the rule
>what is the old hag teacher gonna come in here and dress me forcefully
>few other boys do the same
>get comfortable, trying to get to sleep
>start getting super horny, dick is literally diamonds
>decide to sit up and casually fap while a few other boys have their torches turned on, talking with eachother, me included
>teacher comes in and walks past my bed towards the other boys to ask them to turn their torches off
>keep fapping while this is happening, never been so aroused in my life
>teacher leaves, can still see her outside the window of the dorm door
>close to cumming at this point, face must have been rose red, some of the boys must have known what i was doing
>see the teacher watching me sweat and pulsate with pleasure
>dont care
>cum so hard you can hear each of the spurts
>empty my balls completely, after building up over such a long day
>dont know what to do with this handful of cum
>cant leave it in the sheets, laundry will see it, teacher will find out
>stick my head under the sheet and guzzle all the cum from my hand
>fucking delicious
>lay back in orgasmic ecstasy
>perfect night sleep

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>tfw not dumb or foolish, so I've never masturbated in topsy turvy ways

The closest I ever got was rubbing one out in a school bathroom by a Mexican kid on my street, but he didn't care.

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>nintendo faggot
why did this make me laugh harder than everything else in this post?

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i want marie kondo to have sex with me and save me from inceldom!

Why would you not take advantage of that situation? was she ugly?

Not calling you out or anything but how'd you end up here if you had female friends?

>stick my head under the sheet and guzzle all the cum from my hand
>fucking delicious
>lay back in orgasmic ecstasy
>perfect night sleep

my fucking sides

Because of social anxiety and depression. I am still friends with that girl, but she's really the only irl friend I have.

no, i actually become more aware of things while im about to cum fren.

same but had a couple close calls

>fapping in bed
>dad goes to bathroom
>decides to check if I'm asleep cuz I sometimes stay up late
>as soon as he opens the door im getting a heart attack
>I hide my pp as fast as I can
>he just smiles at me and goes to take a shit