Enjoy being sad with me robots. Why is it so hard to find someone to break your heart?

Have you considered writing yourself? Maybe poetry or your own lyrics/music? It's certainly helped me when I have nothing else to relate to.

You may need more than yourself with that. See if you can find a friend to help Pavlov you into being social.

I'm old enough to be here. Also less emo and more
>Doomer
Woesjack.

youtube.com/watch?v=2HsR5-DTwhs

At night, the town is quiet like the bottom of the ocean
I continue down the road by myself
Guided by the distant voice
I keep searching for the soft blue light
. . .
Hey I found you
And so, without leaving you again
No matter how much I hurt inside I'll always be near you
Zutto / Forever
Zutto / Forever

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I do write my own songs. They're shit and everything though, and I haven't recorded them because I can't sing and my only musical talent is mediocre guitar ability. I don't know maybe I've just reached the point where music doesn't make it better anymore.

Also I really love Grieves. I enjoy most of that album, too. Do you listen to any Eyedea by chance? His music is about the same, but with more lyricism.

I understand this. I don't enjoy much anymore. I'm only alive because I'm pretty sure I have psychosis. I would be interested in hearing what you've made because I produce music on the side.

Not trying to be social im trying to do the opposite. Why would I need more than that?

full version / better quality
youtube.com/watch?v=Xr6AhZyD6gE

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Oh. I misread your previous post then. For being less social, that would pretty much be suicide, if I'm honest. At the core of it all, man is a social animal and unless you're mentally inhibited, I don't believe there's anyway to relieve yourself of the need to at least be a little social.

No but I appreciate people recommend stuff based on what I've actually posted rather than what they're listening to at that very second. I definitely like that more downtempo sad whiteboi hip hop.

I've written a couple songs and have melodies and accompaniments for some of them. The issue is actually producing music is a steep, steep learning curve and I haven't actually gotten down how to translate them into an actual playable format. I'm teaching myself FL studio at the moment but its like being put inside an alien spaceship and told to fly it with no training.

I've been using FL for a good few years. If you want some help I'd be glad to offer assistance. It looks a lot scarier than it is. The curve can be steep, but that's just because the time requirement is high along with the need of practice.

My discord is Wingbot#0001 if you want the help.

Secondarily, really anyone from Rhymesayers Entertainment will be up your alley then. Hail Mary Mallon, Aesop Rock, Brother Ali, Eyedea, Sage Francis, ect.

Yeah but putting effort to people around me has not been worth it and god forbid I even try with women. Training can help me stop trying with people it wont fully remove those desires but it will help me remove the energy wasted in such wasteful endeavors

If you want my honest opinion, which you probably don't but I'm going to give it anyways, wouldn't it maybe be better to genuinely work on and train yourself for better reactions/responses to social situations rather than making it worse by removing any way to act positively towards social events?

To answer that I must ask you if you could do that same thing why are you here on r9k?

I'm here because I started browsing r9k after spending a few years on on b. I made a post here about my potential schizophrenia and/or not that.

I'm a mess of a human being. I relate with a lot of people here except in the area of not being able to survive in social situations. I have massive anxiety about them, but I'm good at talking and have never had an issue unless it comes to strangers/cute girls.

I get down in the dumps a lot because of the fact that it can be fucking difficult to find/keep a girl you want. I relate heavily on that note.

>Schizo/delusion pic related.

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Well expand that further not only do I have issues with women but I have issues with people in general I've made my attempts to make friends and attract women. Instead people use me ghost my etc etc. I have tried to improve myself and have done so in the past 6 years, but for these normies it aint enough for them. So whatre my options? Change my who mentality and personality to better fit in or push a button to make me avoid every putting myself in those situations to begin with? Sure isolation sucks but it's better than the pain of constant rejection and effort spent chasing.

That just depends who you are user.
Some people would find value in the eternal emotional masochism caused by chasing that kind of stuff despite the fear of rejection, because they love being pushed away and hurt. It gives them something to feel.

That's why I try, anyways.

youtube.com/watch?v=iMA5ipWxbxQ&list=LLaHEwNAzNbE-Rsq3WwtGf2A&index=97&t=44s