How exactly would you describe your loneliness?

How exactly would you describe your loneliness?

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Not lonely at all , woman expert here

Soul crushing and all consuming.

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How the bagina work

high pressure soul crushing

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miserable and eternal

Comfy isolation

I can be playing vidya with friends and talking with friends and still be sad because I don't think I have friends.

Addictive.
Ever heard how it feels to shoot heroin? How you keep amping the dose just to feel at ease? That's how it is for me.
I know I'm crippling myself; going down in a spiral by rejecting people (especially relatives), doing things on my own and shutting myself away. And I keep doing it, even sabotaging any attempt of socialization.

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The type where I'm surrounded by friends and family but none of them are actually people that I can confide in, nor do I really enjoy the time I spend with them.