Do you ever lay in your bed and wonder what you could have done to change things...

Do you ever lay in your bed and wonder what you could have done to change things? What mistakes you made that you wish you could take back? If you could go back, what's one thing you'd change?

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I don't "lay" in bed, I lie in it, you benighted fool. And yes, perhaps one of the biggest turning points in my life was denying a girl that clearly liked me back in 5th grade. Coulda been the first mf in a relationship at my school.

I would be a massive piece of shit towards women instead of treating them like equal human beings. Oh yeah and I'd get on roids ASAP.

Would've killed myself 10 years ago.

Wouldn't have been a pussy about asking girls out in college. Now I don't know how to fucking meet people.

Flirt with this one girl and eventually date her. It would have changed how my last years of school went and id probably have a job, a car, and be going to school right now. Instead i stay at my moms house lurking on Jow Forums and /asp/ all day everyday for the past 2 years

My biggest regret is becoming so consumed by my career and allowing it to take away from my relationship.

>worked 6 and 7 days a week for 6 months

>should have been in the honey moon phase

>Her and I had been together for 5 years, she moved in with me while we were still in high school

>after we married we were so excited to buy a house

>worked so hard to put together money for a down payment.

Not long ago she packed her things and moved into a hotel. I'm not really sure why she left, she never gave me a straight answer.

We dont talk anymore. The stress of my life falling apart caught up with me at work and I got fired.

>now work part time under the table with nothing to live for

>enough money to keep up with bills and alcoholism

Wonder sometimes if I turned down all the over time if her and I would have worked.

Not that it really matters if she couldn't stand being away from me while I worked and left like that I guess it wasnt ever real

>It felt real though

>I had it and lost it anons

Pic is the last selfie she sent me

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"15" tattoo on her chest is a partially obscured date of when we officially started dating. I think it was the date she moved in, I dont remember. Seemed like she was committed, I guess not. Last I saw her she had it covered up. Tried to kms that night.

>If you could go back, what's one thing you'd change?


Wouldn't have given in and started dating my boyfriend, instead would have soldiered through high school single and either joined the military or gotten a one way ticket to my soul mate. Chose wrong almost 15 years ago and nothing has hurt me more than knowing had I just gone to her we'd be married with children today.

Fucking tragic. Even if you ascend, you can lose everything in the blink of an eye.

It'll suck for a long time, but life somehow goes on. You gotta work on yourself, but that's so hard to do when you don't care about yourself.

I've gotten tired of wallowing in despair. I have to believe in nothing to get something. I might be a feels guy right now but I try to stay focused on the light.
I've fucked up countless times and was a massive dick. I wasnt able to cope with my issues or traumas very bad but I took some time to myself and now I'm lonely. Still I try my best to focus on what I love


youtu.be/KBWfUc5jKiM

You couldn't see she's a BPD whore? I can see it from the pic.

In my head I didnt do anything wrong. I just never had a role model to help me during childhood when I really needed one. And no one really wanted to be my friend due to how I looked. Its crazy how people will assume the worst of you off of a small facial defect. Then proceed to treat you as if your less than a human

Holy shit you're right user. That's actually amazing. Before we met she spent her 9th grade year in a juvinial mental hospital. We regularly struggled with her mental health. She always told me I was a big help. I know she was on anti psychotics for a few years but about a year prior to our marriage she decided she didnt need them anymore.

Fuck user you just added a whole new level to me wondering what the fuck happened. I really wonder if she could get a diagnosis for borderline personality disorder.

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That's easy, if I could change one thing (out of a plethora of things) it would be to actually buy bitcoin when I first heard about it and it was something like 0.02 for a full coin back in school.. instead I bought candy and soda for what could potentially have been a billion dollar investment with some time
Easy come, easy go
If only we knew

Absolutely her to a T. Thanks user, I dont know if I hate my life less for falling madly in love with a crazy bitch outside of my control or I hate my life more since a person a cared deeply about is out of her mind and self destructive through no fault of her own.

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>Before we met she spent her 9th grade year in a juvinial mental hospital.
How exactly did it sound like a good idea to pursue her any further when you found out? Even regular women without legitimate diagnosed insanity are insane enough.

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>through no fault of her own.
BPD=bad person disorder. It's only a "mental illness" because women are wonderful and can't do wrong. If it was a guy, you'd just tell them they're a sociopath and lock them up when they act on it. It's easy to treat if the person wants to be treated, but since they're women, they don't because they don't have to, no one is going to institutionalize them, and every shit thing they do is going to be excused and compensated for by men around them.

Her checkered past is something we had in common. We were really close. Two broken people making each other better was an integral part of our relationship.

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I would have realised how I felt about him much sooner. I would have been brave for once in my life and asked him for a kiss. The fact that he and I could have been happy together if I had not messed it all up eats me alive.