I'm 19 and I'm addicted to league of legends its all I care about even though I've failed my plat promos and can't even reach high elo. My parents that I live with and commute to school from found out that I've been skipping classes to just sit down and do nothing or play LoL. I lost my retail job a month ago for using my phone too much and slacking off.
During the fall semester I was at a different university and did the same thing. During the spring semester I transferred to a more affordable uni and began living with my parents and got all A's so I don't think its because I'm dumb.
Idk if I'm depressed I've been to therapists before but they always end short for random reasons. Life has been monotonous for a long time I don't really feel much I feel numb I constantly lie to others and I overeat to feel some kind of pleasure in my life. Even after doing horrible things I can brush them under the rug and stop thinking about them. I lack any moral compass whatever, don't value the livelihood of others but I would never harm someone else only because I don't wanna go to jail. Also I find myself constantly lying I never go a day without telling multiple lies
Should I go to a therapist? Maybe they can put me on medication? I hear very bad things about SSRI's so I'm scared of those but I'm otherwise very open to other drugs. I'm just the worst version of myself, I think I have so much potential to make my family and myself proud but I'm defective, unlike my brothers.
>mains aatrox suicide may be the only answer left for you OP
Austin Garcia
Jokes aside wtf should I do?? Been lost and feeling numb for years since 16 this probably sounds edgy but I have no hope or direction.
Eli Richardson
How can you spend all that time and effort and not get into plat? Maybe you should just dedicate yourself to gaming. Hold down a job and use the rest of your time to play. But you have to get gud. You have to practice mechanics, play on teams, compete in locals, network at gaming cafes, get coaching, ask for team sponsors, etc. Get yourself in a position where you can hit high masters/challenger.
If nothing else works and you have something you like in front of you, why not pursue the thing you like?
im 22 and still deal wtih this shit its a road that only goes downhill only solution is to uninstall and never play it again
Lucas Adams
I can't do this man I need to be on track to a wellpaying job.
I've probably ruined any hope my parents have in me by fucking up their 2nd chance. I fucking failed plat promos TWICE because I keep getting inted I always do well than get inted, I legit cannot uninstall, I LIVE for this game. The only reason I'm doing this shit is so I can get a job that will let me move out and bu I gaming PC sand play more of this shit and maybe new games. This is my only source of happiness.
Evan Nelson
youre not actually happy its pseudo-happiness its fake and falsely perceived its just dopamine true happiness comes from endeavors working on something productive fitness, house work, chores, active sports you will find nothing but a pipe dream in league ive been where you are right now i understand your passion and commitment but it wont make you happy playing the game
Jason Powell
You will be fine in the long run, you are not dumb. The question is, how many more things like losing your retail job have to happen for you to get it together. Maybe take a trip for a few days next time you get the chance, so you get some distance. Are there any hobbys you had before you played so much? Might be a good time to revisit them. Uninstall lol
>I can't do this man I need to be on track to a wellpaying job. >I LIVE for this game.
Am I being trolled. Is this a psy-op? Why the fuck do you care about well paying jobs? You fucked up on that road twice. What more do you need before you understand that you don't really give a fuck about it?
Picture related, but seriously OP just drop video games as a whole altogether. They're worthless as hell to no-life play and will get you nowhere almost 100% of the time unless you were to luck out and become some Twitch slave in a chair who rakes in millions, but we all know that never happens to everyone who does that shit (in other words it is like winning the lottery).
TL;DR: >Quit video games >Focus on real life >Find a real hobby >Thank me later
I have absolutely 0 hobbies, all my life I've faked interests and hobbies and lied about them to make my parents thin k I'm normal. I have 0 direction or motivations other than videogames.
Seems like I have to create motivation and I thought drugs might help? Because the ONLY thing I care bout other than LoL is other's not seeing me as a failure. That's been my only motivation throughout life, to appear successful. But nowadays even that is waning.
Colton Thompson
You don't have to 100% quit though if you can manage a life and playing a video game randomly second. If you're the type of person though who couldn't have one beer and instead you have to have an entire thirty pack, then you have an addictive personality and will never be able to play video games normal, so to save yourself from them ruling your life you most likely have to not touch them.
Gavin Torres
Is it really that easy to just uninstall? If I uninstall I'll have literally nothing to do.
Jordan Phillips
>mains aatrox
Jack Kelly
wtf is wrong with aatrox he's cool as fuck
Asher Powell
>Is it really that easy to just uninstall? Yes, unless you're that weak-minded.
>If I uninstall I'll have literally nothing to do. There is plenty to do just find something else that interests you, which can actually get you somewhere if you master it. You're 19 right now, you don't want to throw more of your life away doing dumb shit like this. Imagine if you're old and still do this. Do you really want to experience a life that shitty, because you couldn't stop yourself from being addicted to a video game that won't matter or might even be forgotten, due to a new game you will have to no-life again in five to ten years? Try to become skilled in something that lasts and matters.
Owen Wood
I understand what I'm doing is retarded in the grander scheme of things but I find it difficult to find enjoyment in anything IRL man. Even waking up is a fucking hassle and makes me wanna stop existing. I'm gonna look for a psychologist/psychiatrist not a therapist this time, maybe those ppl can fix my brain.
Ayden Richardson
>Am I depressed? Yes, because the real you wants a future, and this fake addicted to a game you is you being a retard. Your true self is calling out to you to stop doing this dumb shit.
How to truly know if you hate playing as much as you do. After you're done playing for a million hours and you come back to reality, if you have a strong feeling of self-hatred for what you just done, then you're addicted and don't really like the game or what you're doing.
Robert Smith
>I find it difficult to find enjoyment in anything IRL man. Probably because you overload on dopamine from the video game and other things in life don't give that instant gratification as quick as a video game can, due to video games are programmed to be that way to keep the players addicted, paying money, whatever. In other words, you have to try harder in other activities, which takes longer to feel that "I accomplished something" feeling.
>Even waking up is a fucking hassle and makes me wanna stop existing. Is it because the first thought that goes through your mind is, "Holy fuck, I have to get on League of Legends right the fuck now! Fuck eating, fuck everything, LEAGUE NOW!" If so, then that is why, but if not, then never mind.
Robert Torres
If you had a child, would you rather they be rich or happy?
Aaron Watson
From reading everything you wrote it sounds to me like you have an addictive personality, so it is most likely that anything you pursue you will become addicted to that task so to speak. If I were you, I would become addicted to something that betters your life, but still try to manage it if you can, because overworking yourself will just make you extremely stressed out, which is not good.
Adam Perry
I have yet to hit that crashing point, but when I do it'll probably feel like absolute shit man. I notice I don't even feel good when jacking off anymore, I haven't jacked off in 4 or 5 days and I just noticed, I have no sex drive anymore. I think I have very low dopamine I haven't felt true happiness in a long ass time man.
My first thought isn't that I'd rather be playing LoL(Although I would), its just that life is so much of a hassle that I'd rather stop existing than do my daily routine and go to work/school. I don't feel suicidal but sometimes I feel like I wanna stop existing/go into autopilot for a while. I'd rather they be rich 100%, same for myself. Better to be rich and unhappy than happy and living a mediocre/average suburban life.
Alexander Nelson
The other thing no one touched on is my lack of guiltfor my actions, I fel absolutely no guilt althouh I'll probably fake guilt to make my parents think I feel guilty about my actions. I can't stop fucking lying and cheating man I cheated on my calculus final in the spring semester to get an A I cheat in all my classes everywhere I lie cheat and I don't steal but if I knew I could get away with it I 100% would steal. I feel no empathy for others if 100000 people died randomly just to make my life 1% better I'd take it without hesitation.
Matthew Anderson
>lack of guiltfor my actions I noticed everything you talked about. The guilt part though I can give a shit for, because to me that is no big deal since a lot of people fuck others over for money, etc. It is just how the "real world" is.
>Happiness Honestly, I believe most people are not truly happy, but just content. The pure bliss feeling most felt as a child is long gone being an adult, due to all of the responsibility you now have. Now getting erectile dysfunction is not normal, so if that happens to you get that checked out.
Joseph Perry
>I have yet to hit that crashing point, but when I do it'll probably feel like absolute shit man. When you do, you will never want to play video games again, ever. Every single time you attempt to play one where you have to grind it out hardcore to get somewhere on it you feel like a retard or a worthless fucking loser, and close out instantly, because the feeling is that strong. It sucks, but that is how it goes for people like that.
Nolan Williams
OP
i just want you to do one thing, it won't help much initially but do it for yourself.
im 18 and i love league as much as the next bronzie but i dont let vidya control me. sure if i had no need to work/study/go out id play vidya but that road will eventually make me feel bored and look out for the bigger goals in life that i want to achieve. eg becoming an artfag
op i want you to take a walk, for at least 40 mins, and do this at least a few times a week. it will clear your head help you organise your thoughts and youll feel a tad better about your health.
I used to be addicted to league of legends but then I realized I'm just doing the same strategies over and over to win the same game and realized I didn't want to waste my life on games like this. Go study law or something find a new passion and make your family proud.
Brandon Peterson
Quit playing videogays
Lincoln Stewart
THis might sound edgy but is there somethign wrong with me for never feeling guilt for any of my actions? Maybe it doesn't matter.
I'd define happiness as not feeling good, but a lack of worry. If there aren't too many bad things going on in your life you can call yourself happy. Well my parents plan on confiscating my shit lmao like I'm some child, I wonder what I'll do without LoL I enjoy walking in the rain and listening to music but all that self reflection leads me realizing I'm wasting my life and I feel nothing. It doesn't feel that way for me but maybe it's because I've played it for only 11 months.
Angel Gray
how about finding friends on idscord to play league with, i play with my buds every day in a five man or duos, the banter is worth it
like playin crit nasus or lethal tempo elise mid, mad fun. seems like the real human contact would help
I'm a real tryhard man I really wanna rank up and get plat 4 ASAP and begin the climb to diamond. I see all these high elo players and streamers and wish I could play in such a high level environment it seems so fun. Maybe next plat promos I'll get it.
Christopher Nelson
>Edgy Off-topic, but every time I hear this word it sounds so fucking gay. Like I imagine the true people saying it and meaning it (not you) and crying in other threads about stuff or the posters sucking a million cocks daily and taking it up the ass.
>is there somethign wrong with me for never feeling guilt for any of my actions? Probably, but I have it too. I'm horrible, but I don't care. People can suck my dick if they don't like how I am.
>Well my parents plan on confiscating my shit lmao like I'm some child, I wonder what I'll do without LoL Your parents are trying to save you from yourself most likely, but knowing you, you will just find another way to play it without them knowing if you're that much of an addict.
>I've played it for only 11 months. That is long, but not that long. Once you reach multiple years it should hit you hard, especially if you have done nothing else at all with your life (in other words threw every opportunity you had in the trash for a video game).
Landon Harris
although I don't feel bad or scared I am wary of looking back and knowing I missed huge opportunities by wasting my life on this shit. Fuck this is the one thing that can make me feel guilt and regret, if I look back and know I screwed over my chance at a good life it will eat me up until the day I die, I will never forget and that's scary.
Brayden Bailey
>if I look back and know I screwed over my chance at a good life it will eat me up until the day I die, I will never forget and that's scary. Just waste four more years or more doing this type of shit and you will feel it no doubt in my mind. You'll probably rope once you feel that shit too. It isn't worth it to game like that (moderation).
I am out of this thread for now OP, but I doubt it stays alive until tomorrow since most on Jow Forums hates threads seeing people telling someone addicted to video games that video games are stupid since a ton on here do nothing, but no-life them. Best of luck with getting over your addiction though and I truly hope you do, see ya.
Leo Cruz
you should play dota you fucking zoomer weeb psychopath
Chase Ortiz
I really appreciate the help of you and everyone else in this thread, my parents are traditional and don't think for a second I might have mental health issues so is refreshign to hear that here, thank you.
I'll try to fix my situation and beat this. Shits boring as fuck, doesn't trigger my dopamine receptors. Doesn't make them produce the feel good juice.
Dominic Rogers
i just finished a game of aatrox 10 minutes ago actually, good choice op. you should just try to get a job that provides enough for wifi, food and a place to live and live life quietly. thats what im doing.
Ryan Anderson
post your opgg dude
Elijah Scott
Bro if you cant even make plat how the fuck are you gonna make diamond? t. high dia
Easton Hernandez
Ditto this guy. You're not depressed, you're addicted. The more you refuse to uninstall the more it proves that you should. Now stop blaming your bullshit on depression and gtfo
Ian Brooks
Yeah he's fun as fuck lol, feels good to ge tthe resets with my ult. My dad told me to uninstall the game a few minutes ago though and watched me do it so I won't be playing him anytime soon lol, maybe htis is good for me. I think I can spend my free time reading manga and watching anime instead to fill the void. You should play MTG Arena user shits fun as fuck, I always loved trading card games and MTG can be so complex and high IQ. I really don't wanna asscociate my op.gg with this post lol. Just imagine 500+ games mostly aatrox secondary is kled and I keep failing plat promos, I would go for my 3rd try soon but dad made me uninstall this shit.
Ayden Mitchell
honestly i wish you luck but dont neglect other aspects of your life. also tilt man
tilt will loose you more games than you think even if it is minor in your mind it translates in a big way to the game. take breaks and stuff
spamming games can lead to a huge loss streak boi i speak from exp
Justin Diaz
I keep getting inted every promos legit retards running it down, hardstuck gold4/plat4 and 4 really are degenerates, they can't drop out of that elo but they belong much lower.
Isaac Martin
Feel good juice? Oh yeah. League has titties. I forget.
Ian Smith
Ok, how many games have you played this season and what is your win percentage.
Mason Watson
Yeah I get tilted very easily if I just barely lose a duel my mental is shot and I decide to lose the game. It was a joke I don't actually jack off to this game I meant whatever your dopamine receptors produce to make people feel good. over 650 games and 50% exactly. Yeah...I'm a hardstuck shitter.
Wyatt Hernandez
Well, it's a good thing you admit it. That's the first step to actually getting good, I'm saying this unironically. Try playing again when you sort out your head a little. Tilting is way too easy when you have other issues plaguing your mind.
Benjamin Collins
I think my parents will freak out if I play this shit within a few weeks of this happening. I lied to my professors a while ago and the yhtink I was going through "family issues" or some shit so I'm able to turn the work into them later and have my grades changed to actually be good. I have to do a bunch of homework and essays and a computer science project before the 27th at the earliest, maybe I'll get more time. I have to get 2 essays done by tomorrow. So yeah I guess I'm not hitting plat anytime soon.
Dylan Torres
Climbing on league isn't a sprint unless you're hard smurfing. Making reasonable gains is a marathon if you're a fresh face in those ranks. Seriously man, take your time.
Samuel Evans
dude i once got tilted and lost because i forgot to equip my skin, but yeah its annoying but easy to get past anyway.
muting helps too also playing your lesser roles is good practice in flex and is nice to de tilt,
i actually climbed to g2 on it which is higher than my g4 solo, so i know im better than what i currently am.
