How do I learn to hurt people's feelings and be witty? I need to master phrases like "you're so cool" and "wow, so smart" or "you're so quirky"
Basically phrases that are sarcastic and hurt many layers deep. Something like "stop trying to be funny, you're not." At the same time, I need to learn how to guard against these passive aggressive quips. Anybody have any tips?
Tip from a high iq: sarcasm isn't effective. Everyone copes. Find the cope of a person and confront him with the reality. They'll start hating you bc you make them feel bad.
any examples of coping you've dismantled?
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. You need to practice being bottom of the barrel?
Being direct and hateful is better than sarcastic reddit insults. In real life ignoring people works well too. When they ask if you heard them then say you did but you're not interested in anything they have to say.
Sarcasm is for gay bugmen.
Opt for confrontation
It's different for every person. Easiest are fat "people" who cope by calling others fat. They'll deny it but they know you're speaking the truth.
Hey OP? Do us all a favor and never use the phrase "Quirky" again.
Fuck I hate that word
getting in arguments on here is a pretty good way to figure out how to argue effectively. the main thing you never want to do is lash out in rage, once you do that it's over.
the best way i've found to deal with passive aggressiveness is to play into it in a high minded mocking manner. act hurt over it then mockingly laugh at it. people fucking hate that.
Same. But it hurts hard when somebody says it to you when you tell them a random fact, or something you find interesting.
>did you know cashew nuts grow on cashew fruit? I didn't know that until recently.
>omg you're so quirky /s
Phrases like these hurt human interaction, and I want to learn to beat the shit out of people who use them.
Sarcasm is disgusting, and I only want to learn it so I can throw something back at them for being so disrespectful for no good reason. I'd rather become witty than sarcastic, do you guys have any tips for becoming witty?
I have a feeling that everyone laughs at you when you leave a room.
I feel like Jow Forums made me worse at arguing, like I (win) as in the other person quits but do not argue my point at all and just insult the nigga
I have a feeling people laugh at you when you're still in the room.
irl most people aren't going to get in a serious rational debate over things, it usually ends up being an insult shit throwing fight.
i have a feeling your father cries at night knowing you are his heir
His heir?
Insults aren't supposed to make people say "huh?" .
oh, im sorry, i thought you were a kang, my mistake
Huh? Why would you think that?
It works very well for hurting family's feelings. Aside from them my only other contact with people is at work which is three rooms. My office, the main area with the desks, and the bathroom. I keep my office door open and haven't heard any laughing but if I did I would fire them for insubordination. I've done it before for other petty reasons. It's an at will employment state and it's not like they can prove it was a wrongful termination in any case.
why wouldn't i think that?
i have a feeling your mother double-flushes to make sure you get no siblings
What a sad sad life. You come across as the most insecure person on the board.
i have a feeling you should have been a handjob
i have a feeling the average house pet has a richer sexual biography than (u)
You will never know the pleasure of firing the most desperate of normies. It is especially delicious to fire single moms who have to take any shitty job they can get and are devastated to have the rug pulled out from under them completely unexpected.
Seems like you're hurt that people are sarcastic to you. Best solution is call them out for taking the fun out of everything and being negative nancys. Keep being enthusiastic/sincere, that's how you beat sarcasm.
Don't fire white dudes unless they're sois plz
Nothing is worse than the truth. People don't get insulted by falsehoods, only by being confronted with their insecurities.
look at these cookie cutter comebacks lmao. These are pure memorization and leave no impact lol
Calling people cookie cutter is cookie cutter
If you don't know how by now then it's very hard to learn. You have to have a certain personality really, it's hard to describe. I find it very easy to get under people's skin and the longer I know them the easier it is. Thankfully for them I only do it when I am pissed off, and when I'm not pissed I've been told I'm a charming guy.
>Tip from a high iq
ew never begin a post with this again
Yall had to learn this? Damn. Use passive aggresiveness OP, a good tip is to find subtle ways to bring up mistakes theyve made, addictions they hold, etc.
>sarcasm
>""witty""
>examples sound like a seething tumblrina
Never use "wow", that word immediately says "I'm seething, you have successfully pissed me off". The other examples make you sound like you have sand in your cunt.
If you have to throw "/s" after your burn it's a shit burn. I don't think you're actually looking for wit, you want sass.
>did you know cashew nuts grow on cashew fruit? I didn't know that until recently.
>did you know that I fucked your mom last night? I bet you didn't know that until just now. B)
That's sass. Wit would involve turning the conversation from cashew nuts into nutting/sex or some other pun/joke to belittle the speaker.
>At the same time, I need to learn how to guard against these passive aggressive quips.
You're not gonna do well at this if you don't grow a spine. Throwing bantz is all about not taking things personally and only getting pretend-hurt if you "lose". You ACTUALLY lose if you get offended or upset. You should always be the cool and collected one taking shit because you made the other guy mad or you both still get along well after the conversation because you're still friends/friendly with each other.
I don't like to insult people and am quite passive but if I'm threatened or something just rubs me the wrong way I can be quite hurtful I've noticed. Like something takes over for a second to exact some sadistic revenge on another person or vent my frustration. Don't force it user. Look for your inner animal and let it loose.
>At the same time, I need to learn how to guard against these passive aggressive quips. Anybody have any tips?
Uhh yeah. Do what everyone else does. Drink. Because even if you insult someone back, if their comment cut deep that's going to stay with you for a good while.
I've had the opposite experience, Jow Forums made me really good at refusing to back down when before I would've yielded. I've actually genuinely laughed at accusations that were intended to make me feel bad and baffled the other person.
I'm better now at standing up for myself and pointing out when something needs to be corrected.
Hurting feefees is nice and all but it's much better and more satisfying to cause financial or physical harm. Slash tires, sabotage work, purposefully spread illness, if possible dispose of or tamper with important medication. You won't have the satisfaction of making what you've done known unless you want to end up in jail but if you don't feel the need to take credit for their suffering then this may be the method for you.
Before I would be civil and try to win it like a debate making points and breaking down the opps, now I will just start talking shit right away and green texting shit to make it sound stupid
>If you have to throw "/s" after your burn it's a shit burn. I don't think you're actually looking for wit, you want sass.
I had to include the /s because in real life you can tell it's sarcasm.
How do I gain wit?
It would be better just to get Jow Forums and train mma and carry a gun and any time somebody says shit just say "your mother is a whore and your father is a pedophile, so what does that make you?" If they don't swing you made an uncontestable insult on them and they didn't even demand satisfaction. If they do you use your body to prove the point.