Childhood misconceptions thread?

bomb the plant
release the power
absorb it
become more than human and embrace death in a hail of chaos

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>your post
I dont remember having the wonder of being a child since i lived in a fucking military base since i was 2 years old
>i grew up idolizing the starwars sandniggers from the first movie

A lot of these are negative, so here's a positive one:

I thought you're young until you're 25, and that your life is mostly over after that.

I thought circumcision meant getting the head of your dick chopped off. Because its looks like flaccid uncuts have no head. I thought this from about age 10 when I first saw the guy and jar video, until 13 when my aunt told me I was circumcised. I thought I was uncut up until that point.

I thought girls peed out their butts.

I knew they didn't have dicks but didn't know what a vagina was yet, I thought they were perfectly smooth like dolls down there.

but that is true? Whydo you think all anime protags are like 15-22

many, including but not limited to
-thought that sperm cells crawled towards the uterus like worms
-thought painting a candle red turned it into dinamite
-thought loquendo (a text to speech program) was a music genre

I thought 9/11 was an inside job

Damn I wish I could remember shit from when I was a kid, is this what getting old feels like bots?

I thought the Holocaust was still happening and that it was happening to Christians. I saw a few Holocaust movies as a kid and I didn't realize they were Jews not Christians, also with the "based on true events" at the start of movies I must have thought it wasn't fiction or that it was still ongoing. But I was afraid to be seen to come in and out of church from age 5 to 7 or so because of that.

That's not exactly untrue. The cooling towers do spit water vapor. You can still live your childhood dream.

I used to think race was an age thing, probably from not knowing many people. So when I was 4, the age at the time of this misconception, I would be a very fair skinned black as I was the transition into white like the ginger on the sandlot at 7.

Then at Patrick Ewing (34 or so in 98?) through my Grandmas age I would be very dark skinned black. Lol I have no idea how this philosophy stood up to exposure but I remember playing with my Patrick Ewing toy and thinking all dads were just tall black guys with box haircuts. Not sure I understood the difference in scale in my 5 foot 6 dad and Ewings 7 foot

>Whydo you think all protags from franchises meant for 15-22 year olds are like 15-22?

Hard to say user.

At school, they said "Newton invented gravity" so I thought before that everyone flew through the air before Newton made gravity so they could walk on the ground. I was like 4.

I thought teachers lived at school. I also thought you had to be married to get a girl pregnant and that you just had to kiss them enough.

I thought that justice was real and that human rights existed

I'm gonna tell this to kids now.

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I thought bananas were made in fabrics

>grandma tells me to shoo the cat out
>take off my shoe and chase the cat out with it

>see a empty lightbulb fitting
>climb up on a stack of books on a chair
>stuff it with toiletpaper so the electricity doesn't fall on people

>thought the toilet connects straight to the ocean
>disgusted when mum suggests swimming at the beach

I thought the terms Jew and Christian were interchangeable because Jews are in the Bible. I went around calling myself Jewish and Christian interchangeably as a child for a few years until I learned they were separate things.
I wonder if I could get away with that now. I sometimes think child me was a lot smarter than I thought. I had ideas and misconceptions that are just reality now.

i thought that when soulmates got married they magically had a baby when the time was right. i was really confused the first time i saw a single mom.

They do it all the time, surely we can do it too.

>got married they magically had a baby

I thought you got pregnant by kissing on the wedding ceremony. When I learned how kids are made I thought it was embarrassing to do in front of everyone at a wedding. Took me a while to understand that it doesn't have to happen during the wedding ceremony.

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i tought cartoons were real

Also, that anything you'd put in a pencil sharpener would come out pointy and sharp, so i decided to try and sharpen my finger.
Shit hurt like hell

my mom never let me take sex ed so up until like 6th grade i thought rape just meant anal sex but i had heard that girls can get pregnant from rape. i told my friends that girls can get pregnant through the butt and they all laughed at me.

i thought milk grew on trees because i would always see rows of trees planted in milk cartons to protect from bugs.

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START PUMPING WAGIE

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Thought girls had dicks, thought people got pregnant by being married and kissing, later thought you peed in a girls butt to impregnate.

I thought icelandic people were some primitive subcategory of humans with ancient dna, also they could not be trusted.

When I was like 5 I got scared that farts were super dangerous, and would dissolve your hand, so one day when I was super angry and I tried to fart on my hand and dissolve it as an act of defiance.

Not even sure where this idea came from.

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I never properly learned the word "dessert" as a kid and one time my mom or grandma made this sorbet or something, it was all purple, idunno what it was, but they called it dessert and I latched onto that as the name of it
Many years later I had a craving for it and tried describing it the best I remembered but my mom had no idea. I finally remembered it was called "dessert" and my mom gave me some ice cream
I was confused and disappointed. I'm still not sure what it was, sorbet is just a wild guess

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>thought that my tinnitus was the sound of electricity flowing through the wires in the walls
>thought that bullets exploded when they hit people
>thought that getting hit anywhere with a gun will instantly kill you, so I didn't like playing with lego figures that had guns, since they were so boring compared to swords
>Thought sunburn was made up until I was in 7th grade
>also thought eye color was made up until around the same time because my own irises are so dark they blend in with my pupils, and everyone else in my family is the same
>thought that all family members had the same hair color
>Thought pregnant women had to be cut open to remove their babies
I thought this because I watched a video of my family visiting my baby sister in the hospital the day she was born, and I mistook something for a pregnant lady with her stomach cut open. It didn't bother me at all for some reason
>thought evil things would happen if I stayed up until 12:00
>very, very scared and disgusted by fat people when I was about four because my whole family is super skinny.
>thought staring into the sun for ten seconds would make you blind because an older kid at school said so
>thought sex was some evil thing that only messed up, demonic people did
>thought sex was two people poking each other's belly buttons and kissing, because a friend told me it was "when a man and a woman touch belly buttons and kiss" back when I was in second grade
>thought alcohol made you act extremely crazy
>thought all drugs were white powders
>thought even small amounts of alcohol, like from alcohol swabs, would make you drunk
>thought adults had no interests besides working and church and no friends because that's how my dad was most of the time
>thought college was required and that everyone went there
>parents told me that we should never deny being Christians even if people threatened to kill us, so I figured that someday people could stroll into my school and line everyone up and (cont.)

>>parents told me that we should never deny being Christians even if people threatened to kill us, so I figured that someday people could stroll into my school and line everyone up and shoot everyone that admitted to being a Christian
>always bravely and proudly stepped forward and died when I played the scenario out in my head
>thought superheros were evil because my parents didn't let me watch anything with them
>thought everyone could trace their ancestry back to one country, and found it weird when we did projects in school about family and people mentioned being one sixteenth this and twelve thirty-seconds that
>thought that troops in the armed forces wore their dress uniforms and marched all the time when they were fighting, like in the veterans day assemblies at school
>thought that was very stupid, even as a little kid
>thought they still used muskets, too
>thought AKs were exclusively used by terrorists and that ARs were exclusively used by US. troops.
>thought that when I died, I would go to heaven and i could talk to God about everything and learn all sorts of cool stuff about WWII and other random stuff I was interested in, since he knew everything
>thought everyone got weekends and holidays off
Still trying to think of more, but I'm really tired, and it's late

i thought boogie meant to fuck someone, got very confused why people would say it casually

till the age of 12 i though a dressing gown was called a snugibee

I thought I'd grow up to be happy and have friends