Literally what excuses you have for not ending it all?

literally what excuses you have for not ending it all?

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I live for 2 for 20 at Applebees and unlimited bottomless fries at red robbin

I'm trying to search for a reason. I'm young so maybe things will get better, but my schizophrenia gets worse every day. I just want to know someone who understands.

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How do you manage with your schizophrenia? And if you don't mind, could you describe the things you experience from it?

The other day I went to a concert and it was fucking lit. I didn't even like the music that much, but the experience of jumping around like a mad man and screaming your head off was fucking amazing. Made me realize how much life has to offer if you actually just go out and do shit

I want to have pride in myself so I can feel like I belong

This girl ive been messing with a few days and are kind of vibing, if I can get a job my life could have value

I don't go out and I don't talk to people. I know some people on discord but I have trouble talking to them. I sometimes go off talking about my experiences and they get annoyed, which makes me want to speak to them less. I have tried to leave but the loneliness hurts.
I see and hear monsters and demons. Sometimes I talk to people I've known who have died, those moments can be nice. Do you have schizophrenia?

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Death sounds really painful.

aiste is still posting.

Because I want to win this game. I have never been a quitter.

No I don't have schizophrenia. I just find it very interesting. Do you know when you're talking to someone who is dead, that they're not real, or does it seem real at the time? Do the monsters and demons have ill intent, or are they just minor annoyances? Sorry if this is all personal questions I'm asking, I don't want to be too intrusive.

self preservation instinct
other than that, none

Because there is no easy way.

If there was a clinic where I could just show up, sign some forms, get a painless injection, they cremate me and that's that thanks for coming. I'd be there tomorrow.

Fear of failure.
If I attempt and fail, I'll end up in a worse off state, and in some cases won't even be able to end it anymore

You seem like a redditor.
>Do you know when you're talking to someone who is dead, that they're not real, or does it seem real at the time?
I know they have died, when I see them I know it's their ghost. Maybe ghosts are real, but it doesn't add up.
> Do the monsters and demons have ill intent, or are they just minor annoyances?
They wouldn't be monsters and demons if they didn't have ill intent.

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self preservation is a strong instinct thats hard to over come. a robot is also making it hard. hopfully i can deliver my stream soon though

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>managed to graduate uni
>got a job today, startig in a couple weeks
>no friends or gf right now, but I could try again in this new town now that I'm working on my mental illness with moderate success
Life is finally looking up boyos

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I still hold the very dim hope that I might make someone happier than they would have been without me, down the line.

You think what you're seeing is real? That it's their real ghosts? I'm not saying you're wrong, just clarifying.

thats great, im happy for u user c:

VR because virtual reality kicks so much ass!

Also arcade cabinets in jp and motorsports, mostly motorsports. Nothing is better than your own personal screaming smoke/fire spitting freedom rollercoaster you can ride any time or day

I am always on a quest to prove people wrong, and by living I am proving someone wrong, myself.

Deepnude, sex dolls, and VR could profoundly change how you masturbate in 10 years.

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pure spite for most people in my life

based and winnerpilled, all of you faggots should be like this user

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I enjoy existing too much and so do the rest of you niggers.
The chill breeze in the wind and mornings birds chirping help me realize theres a world outside of this that is completely not caring of humans

also hope for a better tommorow

I'm just too afraid to die. I can't seem to so it.
And I still hope one day I'll have enough money to smoke weed all day and make shitty trap music.

Also this

Go to hell hippie

being a hippie is all I have left, if I accepted a fate of mediocrity working with monkeys forcing a smile everyday I would unironically kill myself. My current idea of temporary suffering is keeping on

"There's a million things I haven't done, just you wait. Just you wait. "

"Death doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep living anyway.
We rise and we fall and we break
And we make our mistakes.
And if there's a reason I'm still alive
When so many have died
I'm willing to wait for it."

"I'm not throwing away my shot!"

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If it helps any, I understand.

I don't care, but I understand.

how do I become a hippie

take acid and smonk lots of weed for a year then get real tired of it fast and realize society is a man imposed concept and you have to integrate to fully utilize its functions

Then stop telling people that you "enjoy existing too much just like all you niggers" you fucking hippie, when you just proved both of these claims false. Delude yourself all you want, but stop telling ME how the fuck do I feel.

It sounds Cliche but I don't want to put my family through the stress of losing me. The though of my parents discovering my lifeless corpse horrifies me. I had a friend who An heroed and I saw first hand the effects that had on people. It's been a year and a half since then and I still think about him every day and wonder why he had to do it. Not to mention the fact that he did it a week before Christmas, so the holiday is probably ruined for his whole family now. There's someone out there who cares about you.

It's not my right, it will affect the people around me in negative ways, making the world an even worse place. Many of us have it much better than many other people, without realising. I don't think any human should have the right to end the life of any human, including themself. If death comes it comes, but I will not actively decide when.