Help I am a gymcel cosplaying as a chad. What do I say? Is she trying to get me to say Im gay? I dont understand

How do I sex? I am so scared of 3D women.

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Based and jokepilled

I am. I hid my face and used the power of gains and humor in my bio.

> Watch her naked
> pp hard
> pp in hole
> sex had
> play skyrim

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when your peepee gets hard, you put it in her peehole

If dubs say this:

>I like big sasages! My mouth is salivating thinking about it. Put your sausage in my mouth already bbg

This. The name also implies this -- might have once gone by "Dave" but now has a more gender-neutral name

This is acually pretty good, i dont know what the fuck she ment but this will be a good Response
or maybe a "i dont kow what that word salad means, so when are we meeting"
dont know tho

Tell her you like to cover hot cakes in cream.

How do I do it good though? I dont want to embarrass myself. There has to be some failed chad that can help me.

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Is your face ugly? I really doubt you're getting this response from a woman on a profile that doesn't have a face on it

i dont understand what shes saying am i stupid?

Im meh in the face.

Youre a nigger OP of course she wants to fuck you

Relax you haven't even gotten her to say she wants to meetup yet

I dont either thats why I made this thread.

>Looks like an ogress
try being flirty with girls who actually give a shit

it means "she" has a willy, user. that's what "she" is trying to tell you.

she is either a tranny, wants to have sex with you or you're being catfished. Either way we need more messages to find out.

You go buy condoms. You put one on. The box will have directions. If you accidentally destroy the directions, look it up on the internet.

You grab your dick and stick it in the bottom of her pussy. Pussy holes are at the bottom of pussies. You push until you penetrate. You slide it in. Then you thrust back and forth. Your power when thrusting has to come from your hips. Thrust your hips in a rhythmic fashion, to the beat of a song. If you're a shit dancer, you're fucked. Pull her hair. Grab her hair like you're going to put it in a ponytail, wrap it around your hand and tug on it lightly. Make sure you keep your hand near her scalp though. That's the difference between a nice sensation and stinging pain.

Thrust hard and deep into her vagina or anus hole if she's into that. When youre about to orgasm, pull your dick our out, take off the condom and shoot in on her ass, back, or stomach. Or mouth or face or tits if you like.

I think she might be trans, OP

do this origigigigii

Bro this dude is asking you if you like tranny

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Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?

Fuck! Mission failed lads.

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Holy shit this is actual good advice. Based user.

Also Op here.

how is this a mission failed
just pick her up
are you telling me you don't have a means of transportation, silly user?

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what? ask if you can pick her up idiot, if she asks for money she's scamming you.

Absolute wanker. You let your dick talk didn't you.

>Your King has arrived Queen

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I am not too great with talking girls, but you should just say "That's okay, I will drive you to the gas station"

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Do you know how to kiss and finger a girl user? You'll need it.

Failed? Nigga the mission hasn't even started. Do you have a car? Pick her up, dumb dumb. Then tell her you're hungry, grab something quick to eat (you're both brown so I know you know and would appreciate a cheap spot in the hood, possibly a chicken shack or taqueria), eat a bit, pay for her cheap $5 meal, tell her you want to drink and chill at your house afterward, go to the liquor store, get some drinks (I prefer Buchanan's whiskey and pineapple juice), take her home, drink, listen to music, watch a movie, whatever. Let her get a bit loose from the alcohol but not DRUNK. Make a move on her. Start by putting your hand on her thigh, closer to her vagina than her knee. If she objects verbally or physically, back off and act like nothing even happened, then try again later. After the knee, go for the kiss, after the kiss, go for the rough kiss, grabbing the back of her neck or head and shit. Kiss on her neck and all that faggy foreplay shit. Try to get your hand down her pants while you're kissing. Again, if she objects, back off. But she probably won't. At this point, if you're a bit tipsy and horny, your body will know what to do. Pop her clothes off, suck her nipples, take your own clothes off, she'll probably suck your dick, wear a condom, insert penis.

OP hasn't posted since this, is he meeting up with her or actually retarded?

Is this you?

Oginarl

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i do and i asked her. She hasn't responded yet

Post your profile OP I want to see how you did this without showing your face.

Why did you ask her? Don't ask women shit, tell them. The only time you should ask them is if you're asking "is that cool?"
>"I'll just pick you up, you cool with that?"
Women like to be led, they don't want to make decisions. They don't want to feel like it's their fault they sucked your dick. That's why women get swept off their feet an men don't. This girl is a bit direct but the same thing applies. She wants you to tell her what you want, don't let her lead.

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I wait that last post was wrong. What i said exactly was "I can pick you up."

hey, that's not bad
it is also original, unlike this message

Even that's too soft. It still makes her feel like she's ultimately leading. But it's better than asking. "I will pick you up" was the best option.

faurk. i unmatched her and added her sc. but i forgot to tell her mine.

why did you unmatch her lmao

Why did you unmatch her? You do a lot of weird shit for no fucking reason user.

Idk anymore. honestly, I think I overthought everything. like I always do

Was this a LARP op? Did I just get trolled epic style?

I am actually this socially inept. I just fucked myself out of a easy lay because I overthought everything and thought it would be a power move if I unmatched and added her to sc.

OP is one of those people who can get laid but they sabotage themselves all the time.

>thought it would be a power move if I unmatched

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Is this a man. Im thinking yes.

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ah fuck ive been found out

How the fuck is that a reply to your message? Is flirting really this fucking retarded on tinder, or is it just women?

>she probably had a dick anyway
Sounds like sour grapes

yes it is this retarded.

I've done it to myself a few times OP, don't get to beat up about it, she may still add your snap and message you.

Not the same person. Ogiiiohio

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His fucking name is Ryan user. You tell us if he's a man or not.

His name is Ryan, he has a fade, he wears durags and he has 5 o'clock shadow. That's 100% female.

well fuck no wonder I suck at tinder, I just ignore women who lead with non sequiturs

oh yea you're really fucking up, that's usually them trying to flirt with you or even offering you sex

do this! rolling