/britfeel/

ello??
ELLO???????
dis da chipper whipper take da fisha crispy critter?????
one big fackin' crispy fisha on a disha wiv a big boxer loxxer of chippy whippys wiv a big crunchy muncheh sosig luncy in da snippa snappa
slop da plop in a poly pot too and make da red spew poopy goo!
love u mister fisher disher
make me a wisha
bye!!!

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>he had it typed out ready for the new thread
sad

>paying money to jews for a piece of paper
You do realise if you want a job in IT hardskills and work experience are valued more. Torrent a book on programming and get started now.

>once got paid 52 quid for a TF2 hat

Oh really? Most jobs I have been looking at online want a degree in compsci or a related field.

>pick 3 items that are clearly labelled as part of the meal deal
>doesn't go through as 3 bong

Wtf did I do wrong

Yeah mate just put 'I downloaded a book' on your CV

scottish poster nonce didn't post this time mate

You picked up something that wasn't included in the deal or they hadn't updated the tickets.

economys crashed mate got a 60 quid hat for 4

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49130670

Let this be a warning to all you nonce-accusers.

Remember lads depression is NOT a real illness. If you're feeling a bit sad just man up!

I was very careful to only pick meal deal items, are you sure there isn't some clause like it needs to be 1 drink 1 sandwich 1 snack?

Yeah mate just turn up with a degree with no experience or hardskills. I'm sure that piece of paper will make you stand out from the other graduates

Have one for the larp jar lads, happened this afternoon.

>Finished gym, waiting for the bus home
>Hear loud shouting, turn around to see shirtless chav downing can of strongbow and smoking
>He goes through the people on the line waiting, shouting to fight him
>They ignore it/turn away/pretend to be on their phone as he gets visibly more frustrated
>Stops at me, lock eyes accidentally
>"Fucking pussy what are you looking at bruv? I'll knock you the fuck out"
>He's a little shorter than me and I have a good 25kg on him in weight
>Tell him to behave and jog on
>"Give me your phone and I wont knock you out"
>See hi-vis across the road, its a woman community support officer
>She along with the rest of the bus stop has turned around to watch
>Put my bag down, we square up to each other untill he starts rocking back and forth, poor fucker was pissed up
>"fucking pussy. I'd knock you out for real"
>After a few more seconds of staring he saunters off, swearing how he'll knife me if he sees me on his street again
>CPSO comes over
>On second looks, its an actual policewoman
>She stands infront of me and asks "want to tell me what that was all about then?" like I started this shit
>"Well you put your bag down it showed intent to fight to me"
>Bus arrives
>Tell her im not interested in reporting it and get on my bus
>Still mad

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Put torrented. Make it look better

I feel like you're deliberately being stupid and I dont want to talk to you anymore.

yes there is, wait what items did you pick?

It usually is 1 drink 1 sandwich 1 packet of crisps/choccie bar
i find they are often deceptive and put the luxury sandwiches beside meal deal stuff to trick you

Yeah it literally says that. If you tried to scan through 3 sandwiches for 3 quid you're an idiot.

Back in the day I managed to buy RO2 on release day entirely with profit from TF2 item trading. Items were actually worth money then, now everything sells for pennies

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how does one "man up" when "being a man" is different in various cultures across the world?

Your muscles aren't going to stop a knife you fat retard.

Ok well I swear nowhere in that aisle does it stipulate that but I guess lesson learnt. For the record it was 1 chicken pasta, 1 pot of olives and 1 salmon sushi

lads help me out, I left the neet top shaggers kik group by accident. invite me back please xx

specifying what that means would render it inert
you can't look up the magicians sleeve

it does (assuming you're on about the tescos meal deal)

Well it does. It says it on the tickets.
It's VERY clear on the websites too, I don't know which shop you were in.
tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/promotions/A32671682

sainsburys.co.uk/shop/PromotionDisplayView?listId=2&catalogId=10123&productId=1117826&langId=44&storeId=10151&promotionId=10360191

Bet they have the most illuminating conversations

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>"want to tell me what that was all about then?"
That is a seriously unprofessional manner

Watching The Boys

what me boys upto today? I'm all sweaty after working out, laying on a sweaty towel with the fan blowing up my hairy bumcrack about to pass out.

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Shippy went black but then came back!

they usually have posters about showing you sandwich + crisps + drink.. or labelled 1+2+3

It means realise that sitting there doing nothing about the situation isn't going to improve it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make change happen.

Having a comp sci degree is way more valuable than someone who can fluently code and has industry experience. That one unit on java you did in comp sci definitely means you can walk into a programming job. You are a complete spacker if you think having a comp sci degree puts you on the same level as some giga self taught programming autist who can demonstrate his skills.

>this larper pretending to not know how the meal deal works

careful mate or you'll spend all your 50ps in the larp jar and won't have any for a sandwich

You too ol buddy ol fren

Have difficulty believing "1 pot of olives" being labelled a Meal Deal item is anything other than a weird, unfunny LARP.

told you I didnt want to talk m8

He was pissed up and wasn't expecting someone to actually square up to him, little drunk manlet wouldn't have actually bought a knife out.

Was more mad at her desu, she looked scared of confrontation so she waited till one of us left.
Women shouldn't be on patrol officers.

Why the fuck would I even bother to larp about this? What's next a thrilling larp about buying carpet tiles?

tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/299955869

Still watching the Netflix competition showabout glass blowing and it's strange that the men and the women are in such different leagues that there's no competition unless you consider Alex the Jew and the most Germanic Pole I've ever seen in my life (right Chad he has that look too) and Patrick the American
Whilst the women are an East German looking Jewish woman who while she's a bit subversive when she can but she's incredibly skilled whist the remaining two wine aunts who take away from it all and just annoying

when is tynwald baz racing again?

had a drunk football spacker like that on the train once, literally going up and down the aisles asking people individually if they supported villa or birmingham. blabbering on about how if anyone supported birmingham he'd fucking knock them out while he could barely stand up without supporting himself on the edge of the chairs.
obviously he was a real man

youtube.com/watch?v=OuyVceYzzS0

olives WITH HERBS
not "pot of olives" like you claimed

>so she waited till one of us left.
She should've have began walking over when you squared up to him. That's why the police are so useless. Their job is to prevent crime from happening, not turn up after it has like they always do.

What the fuck is that exercise?
I can't do it anyway.

Think youre splitting hairs tbqhwy lad

Yup...down the pub...rock concert...few pints...
Chance would be a fine thing!

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>mum gave me 60 quid for when she's away the next 2 weeks

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>he thinks the police actually prevent crime
oh, user, i'm sorry, but police on the beat are basically useless.

>60 quid for 2 weeks

Bit of a tight budget!
Be sure to plan in advance and save a little for emergencies.

buy yourself some nice sweeties user!!

how old are you lad? also what you planning on spending it on?

There's plenty of food in the house already so this will be for takeaways and treats

Exactly, he was barely coherent. He wasn't going to sucker punch or pull out a knife in that state. Just a drunk.

She was 5'3" or so, literally looked like someone dressed up a second school student in an oversized uniform. Bit mad I didn't stick around and get her name but I waited for the bus forever and just wanted to get home.

>how old are you lad?
old
>what you planning on spending it on?
this and I guess booze. Will treat my brother to something too.

>2 weeks worth of microwave pizzas
>nice bit of weed
>cider money
worlds your oyster fren

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Just woke up lads, seen that seethanon has been on a mad one. If I didn't have money then I would be uncomfortable and then i would have mental illness.

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>old
how old though? and if youre actually old and not just larping why would your mam be giving you money whilst she's away? I mean I get some people live with their parents into their late 20s but why is she basically giving you pocket money?

I'd spend 60 quid tonight alone down the pub.

I'm 32 and my mum is just nice I guess.

I got your lazy back but you don't need to house hop all the time
>how old though?
30+

fair enough then pal

How do you talk without your voice straining?
Do I need to train it?

I still don't understand "This plate is your fate"

>tfw I still get pocket money off me gran

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>shitty forced meme
Now you do

I'll kick your gran up her fat arse, lad.

Just woke up lads realised I've scratched my cock so much the small layer of skin came off not a cut or anything like that but it's fucking red sore and is wet from what I'd assume to be protein enzymes.
Feels weird to have to put a plaster on my cock lads.

I accidentally bought the white version of the Kinder Bueno and it tastes like shit

Based Gran
rude

why you scathing so much lad you got a dose of something?

back from the jobcentre, lots of total scum there desu

told the woman that I'm agoraphobic and that's why I've never had a job

was nice lady said I get bennies from next month and they will help me find a job suitable for me. I got to start looking at what sort of job I'd like and what skills I have ready for a CV planning meeting

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Anybody watching ' victorian farm '
On bbc 2? Its actually a good watch so far

Handy advice lads

thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9580037/women-ice-lollies-vaginas-heat-wave/amp

>agoraphobic
>goes out for a jobcentre interview
no bennies for you mate you should of had your doctor sort you out

*performs a rain dance in the middle of the thread*

is it safe to put em in our boypussies

she said it was fine desu

I suppose if I have to prove it I can tell my doctor about me explosive diarrhea every time I leave the house

*performs a lengthy sun dance*

*see's if you can breathe underwater*

*rain dances in your face*

how do you say... de groovy?

*sun dances the shit out of you while dabbing*

Just lol at all the rootless superficial batty boy faggot lads whose entire existence revolves around getting girls. You're either too young to know better or honestly no better than niggers or pakis, you'll be swinging with the rest of them when the day of the rope comes. Better humble yourselves real quick and start changing your ways before its too late. White power

Started raining and thundering here. Is it finally over?

HA!
I WIN!
*rain dances off into the distance*

girl in one of these porn ads. skinny, strong jaw. she looks like a proper model. would love to give her a good piping tbqh.