Mental Illness Thread

Vent about your shitty fucked up brain and shit. Just don't be a self diagnosed tranny. I'll start.
OCD is still being a bitch after taking some Lexapro and Risperdal, the thoughts aren't going away, my inner voice is still a slave to it. Hopefully it works soon, I can't be like this forever.

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BPD ruined every friendship/relationships i had with people and i wanna fucking end myself.

Sorry user, I hope and have faith it can get under control for you. How much of a day is consumed by compulsions when you indulge them? Wish you the best man, that itch it your head must be really irritating to suffer. I made this lame blog entry just recently talking about myself Sorry your recovery's coming slow, but it will come.

OP just wondering on how many ssri's have you been on because i've been on over 10 different types and none of them worked in fact they made me worse from the side effects. Ask your doctor to try tri/tetracyclics. they worked for me kind of but i started getting horrible side effects like memory loss and brain fog. I recommend that you come off them completely. I personally do 2g-4g of ketamine every 2 weeks on a binge in a day. That is the best antidepressant you will ever come around. research it online. But i'm a UK fag so Ket is easy to get hold of here as it is technically illegal.

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My intrusive thoughts are killing me. Does anyone know how to stop them?

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sexuality is a mental illness. i wish i were born asexual so i didn't have this nuisance urge that wastes my time and puts me in danger.

You can learn to ignore them. I still get them every day for the past 9 years but you can learn to block them out by distracting yourself with other things. It isn't easy friend but stay strong.

Found out too late about being an aspie. If i knew about it before i could of learnt that what i was doing isn't logical and just straight up retarded. Pushed everyone away and now that i'm nearly 22, I feel like im near the end of the road of getting better. Still dream about the girl i pushed away 7 years ago.

Thankfully an hour or two is spent on them now. It was incredibly worse a few years back, would've spend most of the day counting in my head, tapping or pacing around for hours. I'm scared that it'll become as bad or even worse than it was during that time.
Not as many as you, I've only taken Lexapro, Celexa and Zoloft and some others but I don't remember. I've also taken some antipsychotics but right now I'm only on Lexapro. Never tried ketamine before though does it really work?
Not really, if it's OCD it'll come back. There's no cure and it'll always be there. I think the last thing you can do is take medications and hope for the best, and never get off them, which is what I did when I thought I got cured.

fellow r9K who have or used to have a job, how do you deal with the sever lack of self-confidence and crippling anxiety?
I'm trying to perform my duties but can barely function at this point.

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I cannot see the point in getting up in the morning. It's quite literally a chore. Nor do I see the point in going on when I have no life prospects and have spent the last five years NEET not doing anything for myself. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I feel like there's nothing left other than checking out.

Bipolar with psychotic features here

I've been in a rut since being hospitalized twice in the span of two months last year

just taking my meds and smoking cigs, trying to find a reason to do better

im kind of gay

Yeah i recommend ketamine to anyone suffering with mental illnesses such as OCD BPD ect. Plus the trip is extremely fun.
For a first timer i recommend that you put a entire day aside as ketamine will make you nearly incapacitated at high doses. depending on your tolerance and weight ect. You may wanna do roughly 70-100mg every 30-60 mins up to a gram. Lay in bed and listen to music that resonates with you. When the trip starts lay in bed listening to comfy music and just let it take you. If you have dosed correctly You will have what i call the after glow effect where you feel "normal" the voices impulsion's will cease to exist and slowly ease its way back in within the next week or two. It isn't a cure But if it makes life bearable you have nothing to lose.

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I luckily have a part time Job working with a family member that is the manager of said company. If i have a episode i can instantly call in sick and its fine. i had full time jobs in the past that made me eventually having psychotic episodes from all the anxiety and stress. I started a ebay business doing reselling on the side and hopefully within the next half a year i can go full time. My advice is to use the internet to your advantage and build up a business and also ketamine :)

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Autistic Spectrum Disorder (Aspergers essentially, but they don't diagnose that as a condition since like 2012, it's an umbrella term now) and Anxiety.
I applied to go back to school to do a one year computing course in September, but I'm very nervous and scared to do so. If I do it, it'll allow me to finally do the CompSci degree I've been wanting to do but I'm worried I'll do this second degree (already got one in Law) and be in the position I am in now, not wanting to enter the workforce and not sure what sector I want to go into.
I guess with a compsci degree I could always do some stuff like small coding projects from home to build a portfolio and get more programming experience..

also people have been telling me recently my conditions are a meme and not real and it's annoying

Hey bud. I got OCD too, so I know the hell it can be. I'm planning on going back to therapy soon if my fear of going outside the house allows me to

Hope you can get better in a few months. Stay strong, and take care

10! My god did they get a good run out of you.

I've been on every type of ssri and some that is prescribed on the NHS in the UK. I'm telling you lads now they do not work. I had boughts of extreme paranoia, worse depression psychosis, attempted suicide three times all while under the effects of these drugs. I was also on trazodone (may be called something different in the US) that sent me in a 6 month episode of hell. I had extreme delusions that i was talking to demons and that i was in a simulation that was controlled by the government to monitor me. But i was only like that on the meds i was never remotely that bad beforehand. My life is still a unstable mess but since using ketamine for the past year and half every fortnight it has never been better.

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Sorry to hear that, I also know of someone who considered crashing thier car while experiencing that 'blunting' effect.

Thanks for the words of encouragement man

how do you manage to fit in among your colleagues?

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>schizoaffective disorder
Endgame already and I'm only 25.

If you didn't develop the mask in at least your teens, you have almost no chance. It'd be near impossible to try to fit in with people assuming you're not young.

My BPD gf swore up and down that she loved me and I was the one and she couldn't be happier for 3 years, then she left me over the course of a day for someone she claimed was just a friend and could never be anything more. Why do I want her back? She's clearly not a trustworthy or honest person despite her claims about valuing honesty so much. I'm doing better in school, making more friends, exercising more, and everything seems better. Am I the mentally ill one?

I've developed the mask but it's increasingly hard to maintain due to tiredness, anxiety, and bleakness.

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>Just don't be a self diagnosed
why?
doctors literally just quiz you most of the time

don't end it user, you can get a virtual little sister in a couple decades.

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DID is really hard to deal with. Everyone assumes there is nothing wrong with me and only after months of knowing me they begin realising how fucked up it is.
If I don't write my entire day down in my diary the chances are I will have no idea what happened on the day within about a week. Sometimes if I wake up in the middle of the night not in my own bed I have no idea where I am and panic and need a few minutes to put myself together.
My opinions on people change when I switch so sometimes I will really like someone and when it switches I will tell them to get away from me because I don't like them although this is not true at all.
If I have any emotional argument at any point I forget it completely and don't remember why people are angry at me later.
I don't know who I am. I say things that may or may not be true and at this point I don't know whether it's all made up or not.

how stupid do you need too be to fry your brain on ssris? any other type of antidepressent is better
anyway tried wellbrun or whatever been on it for 2 weeks
i think i'm going to stop
just feel worse

Also have OCD. I had a very low period back last month brought on my obsessive thinking about shit like drugs and morality, and whenever my OCD gets really bad my mood goes so off kilter so I end up feeling either almost depressed or manic. Fortunately, I got talking about it more with the people around me, signed up at a gym to work off all my pent up frustration and reconciled with my best friend. I have no experience with Lexapro but I take 150g of sertraline and it's worked very well for me.

Forgot to ask you, OP, if you can tell me about some of your obsessional thoughts and actions because I'm curious about what you go through.