What do u think of this thing that I wrote?

It's pretty good OP. I do some writing too so I'll try to give some constructive criticism.

1. In the first paragraph, there are two words that I feel are out of place, and they both have to do with state of matter. When you describe the voices "coiling" this doesn't sit right with me because to me, the verb "to coil" implies a solid object, whereas a voice implies a gas/formless idea. Snakes, ropes and vines coil, but water and air do not. Smoke might coil, but its has form, unlike a voice. Second is the priest "crumbling" into the mire. In this case, "to crumble" also implies a solid, but a mire is a liquid, and liquid does not crumble. Unless it is the priest himself who is crumbling (like an ancient ruin) it doesn't make sense. Perhaps you like the mismatched juxtaposition of these two ideas but it bothers me.

2. In the second paragraph, you refer to yourself as "I" but in the others, you refer to yourself as "we." Unless this change in person is intentional you should change it so it's all the same.

3. The use of parentheses feels out of place. The tone is formal but arcane, whereas to me, parentheses imply a mundane formality. You see lots of parentheses in a textbook but not in a grimoire.

4. Maybe I was asleep that day in grammar class, but don't hyphenated interjections require two hyphens? If it was me I would use a semicolon. This is more about style than anything.

I don't get it but I like it. I'd probably read a whole book full of stuff like it, not because I can perceive meaning, but because the words somehow soothe. Like taking a walk through the woods or down the street but with no direction or destination in mind.

Some straight lovecraft shit right there. Put this into characters and a story you mighta just did something

I think the priest crumbling into the swamp is fine. I pictured something like a gollum made of mud shifting back to its original form

I agree on the parentheses, but I really like "(if they must)" for some reason so I'm torn. It feels like it's a voice coming from outside the narrative which ends up being quite powerful in context.

why mention the stone steps and the door that cannot be opened? The priests (I'm assuming that's our perspective here) seem to have a sorta confused placement in space. Especially since we then jump perspectives to someone on an unmentioned alter with the priests already around them.

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With regards to (if they must), your point of view is interesting. They way you described it made me think as if me reading the story is incidental, but in that instant, the narrator is addressing me personally. I'm not sure that sort of meta-narration would work in most stories but considering the mystical tone I think you're right to want to keep it in. pic related, this is what I imagined

It also strikes me that perhaps the shift in perspective is intentional, that in the first two paragraphs it's supposed to be from the perspective of the person (the "supplicant?") and then after that, it's from a narrator addressing the "supplicant."

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you didn't fall asleep, did you?

I hope you like bumps, cuz you're reading one

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oh yeah, the shift in perspective is definitely intentional, but I just got a little lost finding where the two parties were in space once the switch happened.

Now that I've re-read it, I think I may have just been baited by the mentions of the steps, door, and earth. The transition is a lot smoother than it first appeared. Alter is the final word before the change, even.

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So your inspiration is a painting of a black square with a red rectangle on it, and another black square and a small black rectangle on top? Wow, that is some pretentious shit right there. You see the fabric of space and time I see a fucking five-year-olds finger painting.

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I think those paintings are more about the descriptions provided by the artist than they are about the painting itself.

In any case, thank you for bumping this thread. It was gunna get awkward with just me saving it, lmao.

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Wow, so it's mostly about, hey I'm gonna lazily wipe some paint on canvas then give you some bullshit existential bullshit to make you think im more important than I really am. Idk I guess I just hate modern art.

Post-modernism tells us that all values are subjective, beauty among them. Therefore, anything can be beautiful, and anything can be art. Where before you had artists with an intense sentiment and vision using their years of practice to create spectacular works of art, you now have people with that intense emotion, but either the inability or unwillingness to put in the hours required to make that feeling take on the immaculate form we see with "classical" art. pic related: emotion and skill

Because anything can be anything, that red square could represent the artist's most traumatic childhood memories, and be imbued with intense emotion. That's all well and good, but I wouldn't wipe my ass with it. As an artist (musician) I can confidently say that no one actually likes this stuff, they just pretend to because they want to be seen as having refined taste. The "intellectuals" who decided up is down and good is bad are long dead and people are still marching to their tune.

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A solid foundation, but pretty far from what it could be.
You have a flare for imagery and diction, but the mechanics definitely need tightening. Typically, narration shifts are fine if they're signaled correctly, but, from my understanding, the second narrator begins speaking to the first, which the lack of signal makes really messy. Espiecially for shorter pieces like this, you want to try to make transitory periods like that as short and sweet as possible.
Just a general tip, try to avoid using parenthesis in stories like this. For something more grounded there might be times where they fit, but in something like this it really breaks the flow.
Also, seraphim is the adjective, seraph(s) is the noun you're looking for.