Got dumped by my first gf about 5 months ago and I can't get her out of my head although it was a 2 month relationship. I feel like this need for emotional support is consuming me badly. My disorder was "in control" while having this relationship because i had this person in my life that loved me. It gave me a reason not to kill myself. Now that it is over i am going insane because i think that my need for emotional support is taking me over. I had a safe space from the cruel reality. I am having this fear of being dumped again but deep inside me i know that i need that safety net again. I am scared to get serious with other girls because of that fear of rejection. I never had this before. Bipolar mixed with love is like a game you cant win
How do you cope with love and emotional support while being bipolar
i mean, idk about bipolar, but as for dealing with it, you just gotta wait, user. my first gf of 10 months dumped me just under 2 weeks ago because she "fell out of love with me". despite the fact we were talking about moving in a week prior. i've got that void of wanting to be loved now, too.
but you gotta work on yourself, because if you get in a relationship again and make so much of your happiness and emotional stability rest on her, you're gonna drive em away because you're too intense. it sucks, but its true. unless you find an absolute godsend of a girl, but ill be honest at that point i think the dynamic would be more like carer/caree, than bf gf.
You have to stop placing your sense of self and happiness in a girl user. Its like building your house on sand. Romantic love is fleeting and impermanent. It will fulfil you for a while but it will not cure your mental illness or give you lasting happiness.
I am currently studying to become an airline pilot which is my only focus right now. But the second I return from the class I feel empty. I am sorry to hear about your break up. I didnt tell my gf that i was bipolar and i tried to hide it with all my strenght. It was pure love for me although it was only 2 months. I am living with a mask. The outside world doesnt have a clue that I am the way I am. But the barrier of fear and rejection is still there
It took me forever to get over my first girlfriend.
Now I'm 33 and married and I don't think about the girl at all.
That's just how life works. When you get older, you stop giving a fuck.
I feel like that I have no choice. Its the only source of hapiness for me. I get your point and you are completely right. But its fucking hard to accept that
I dont know If i can make it this long without the support I crave and need.
For me, the easiest way to get over a girl is to get another girl. I know this may sound harsh considering you have so many feelings wrapped up in the first girl. But it's the only way to move forward. If you are lucky, the first girl will come back to you if you carry on with your own life.
I have tried to find another one but all my self confidence that i had before just vanished. I usually dont have trouble meeting new people but I cant get serious anymore. Its like a barrier avoiding me to get a new gf.
If you keep putting effort out there, a girl will come along.
I understand it's hard to get back on your feet when you have your self confidence knocked out of you, but if you keep pushing, you'll make it through.
Additionally, with time, your feelings will change. You will run across someone who will take your attention off the first girl. It's just natural.
>gf for two months
>I loved her!
No wonder you lads get dumped. You are way too clingy and creepy.
How can I know that I will get rejected again and get in the same boat again as before..
How do you know that you won't be accepted and go on to have a great relationship?
Being accepted is fine for a short period but deep inside they know that they deserve better
How are you so sure they deserve better?
I personally wouldnt want to spend my time and love for a person that is emotionally unstable and that is depending on me. maybe its just me but loving an emotional trainwreck is a dead end
Get yourself to a place where you are not an emotional trainwreck and then find a girl.
Take as much time as you need.
Im tired of living my life of coming home from hard studying and realising i have nothing beside that
Will there be a time your studying comes to an end? What will you do then?
Getting into a job with long hours. It will get me money for sure but Its not the only thing that is valuable in life
Wait it out, user. I was in your exact same shoes. 7 years later and I don't even remember the basics like the color of her eyes, the sound of her voice, or what she even liked to do. These things pass, but they pass with time. Pick up a hobby maybe do something that betters yourself and you'll feel much better. There's no 'cure' for this longing of affection. I'd be a liar to say if there ever could be. The only thing you can do right now is to find a distraction, a healthy one preferably, but nonetheless something to get them off of your mind. You'll meet other people, people better than them. Don't idolize them and hold them above anybody else that you come across in your life because they are simply nothing but another person.
You got this user. I believe in you.
Your life will certainly change when you have a job instead of studying. If you got a girl once, why wouldn't another one come?
Thank you user I will try to do that..
I didnt have the mindset of fear of rejection before my first gf.
You will feel down and out for a while, of course. But things will change. Either you will feel differently given enough time or a girl will come that makes you feel differently about the situation.
With my first girlfriend, I thought I would never get over her but interestingly, when I think about her now I don't even care.
>he thinks anyone can love a bi-polar
Dude you'll get the picture when you're bi-polar is so bad that you dont even want to be loved. Then you'll be at peace. just hold on.
t.Bi-polar 1