What's keeping you alive robots? What reasons do you make for yourself when you lay in bed at night?

What's keeping you alive robots? What reasons do you make for yourself when you lay in bed at night?
I used to make excuses for myself but now I just persevere, how do you do it?

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>cars bedsheets
underage b&

>people don't think till the age of 18

I don't know really. Fantasy. By all means I should have killed myself years ago.

Bannerlord oregan

The fact that I still have a few rounds left to make it

>want to make this game I've been thinking about for years
>not quite sure what method to use yet
>guilt because my parents aren't bad people they're just bad parents because of ignorance

playing nukige

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I used this one for a while until I lost interest in making games

That image really fucked me up

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Me too lmao, I stared out my window for 10 minutes after seeing it

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I don't know Ive been dead inside since forever ago, but recently I've sparked into life by fury.

My game is coming out on Steam soon. If it's successful, I will be able to make shit tons of porn catering to my own tastes.

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better not be another garbage weeb game user

There is nothing wrong with extracting shekels from weebs.

At this point in my life I honestly don't really know anymore. I guess I'm hoping to see some cool shit go down or something because man am I bored right now.

Supernatural s15 and Berserk

kek
i fell for that meme as a teen that nothing mattered till i was an adult
now i realized that was the most important fucking time
thanks you jackasses and aspergers

how do i make a shitty game and get money?

I exist to create & promote "antisemitic propaganda" honestly

Because I dont want to make my mom sad when I kill myself

Smoking weed and junk food. Gonna play the long con and kill myself with unhealthy habits.

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Learn how to use Ren'py and commission a half-decent character artist. You can use your neetbux for it.

>Learn how to use Ren'py and commission a half-decent character artist. You can use your neetbux for it.
how much do you expect to make?

nothing
[original content is a must appearently]

I can't let the trump supporters win .

i live only to kill chinaman
preferably from 900 yards

>What reasons do you make for yourself when you lay in bed at night?
I don't need to make any, I only touch down when I'm nearly passing out, no time to think about bullshit, just sleep.

But yeah, taking care of my grandma is the only reason I got to stay alive. She needs me and that gives me a reason to keep going.
When she's not around anymore then I don't know what I'll even do, she's all I have left.

false hope and cowardice

based user
your a good guy

To build my house, start a garden, start a library, and be left the fuck alone.

I am 19 years old. After 4 years of Air Force bullshit, I will have to put myself through 4 years of university bullshit. After that, I will need grad school. Then I will find work in fintech or at an investment bank, doing some bullshit for God knows how long. I will take care of my aging parents during this time hopefully. Also I will be working on the house while I work a bullshit job. When I finally have enough to live a modest lifestyle and have a passive income, I will quit my job, move out to a rural part of the state I already have planned, and rest on my laurels.

This is all I want. Then I can die.

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Rich, wealthy money.

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My work and the hope they will keep me beyond the 6 month period.

The hope I am able to get my drivers license and to buy a Triumph Bonneville T100 some day, for fun.

The thought of getting my master certificate, or being able to study.

The hope of learning new things.

And maybe the small and insignificant hope I could find a wife.

Also art.

Don't like living.
Don't wanna hurt my parents and sisters.
World is pretty shit and I am not sure people are good enough to deserve my contributions.

I think I gotta do it anyway soon. Got a rope.

Also releasing a game soon on Steam.. if I live that long.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO
STOP POSTING WOJAK AND OR PEPE THEY ARE MAINSTREAM

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I was never very religious growing up in my Catholic family, and as the years went by I found myself questioning going to church or making the public displays and affirmations of a belief that didn't exist within me. I had accepted on faith of my parents that a God existed, and for a couple years I'd lie in bed trying to decipher logically if a God does or could exist, grappling with the loss of meaning if life if it had all been a fiction. Some value of honesty or integrity instilled in me from Catholic upbringing, and I eventually decided that to he true to the world and myself I'd have to abandon the existence of God until I came across evidence I cannot refute, and I came out as an atheist in the hopes that I'll be proven wrong some day. Those years lying awake and slowly comprehending the consequences of there not being a God were absolute hell mentally, and I'd sometimes cry out of fear and frustration that everything in life would have no meaning now, and how could I possibly make a conscious decision to walk down that path rather than accept a meaningful life following a fictious entity. My parent disowned me for several years when I openly told then I no longer believed, and I went through a depressive state for several years through high school because of it. I just hoped one day I would find new potential meaning to life and move on from this nihilism.

Now it's today, roughly a decade and a half since I turned away from "God". A new philosophy or system of meaning has not championed the nihilism as of yet. I sometimes think back at night and try to recall what my days used to be like before I let God go, and I can't even emulate the feelings or thoughts I once had. It's as if that old part of me has drifted out of my memory, or that I can't relate to that kid anymore.

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pretty fucking based desu senpai

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Is it a choice?

>awake and bored
better do something
>hungry
better eat
>have job
better get there in time

(cont)
A lot of people dismiss Jordan "Wash your penis" Peterson as a meme, but I'll admit here in this open rambling that he has been a very inspirational and much-needed voice for me. I have been pretty bitter about religion since I had essentially been indoctrinated into a faith non-consensually since birth, and had to break away under my own volition without the support of family, or even of friends (who I found out years later that the majority of them were closet atheist afraid of the consequences coming out would bring from their parents, rightfully so it seems). I had a hunch that religion was a powerful tool of human civilization, but I was too emotionally and mentally hampered on the subject to begin exploring why that would be from an outside perspective. When I came across JP recounting the biblical stories and ancient mythology, they were interesting lectures to me, and his thoughts about how religion is used to maintain an ethical framework for lessons we learn as a society across multiple generations helped me see the utility in religion without the need to sacrifice my integrity and belief that a god does not exist. It's not progress from my own efforts of research, but I think his lectures have helped me grow a little bit, at least enough to be able to lay in bed and begin thinking about what could potentially champion my nihilism again. It had been so long since I had the courage or hope to try and find a new framework, but I strive one day to discover new meaning that doesn't require fiction as its foundation.

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i just got a cute girlfriend and have a good chance of getting into my dream career professional school if i stay on track through undergrad
also berserk manga and new oldschool runescape content

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>pretty fucking based desu senpai
ty fren

Weed stopped being a good means for escapism, so I've been on the drink hard. Can't give af about my shit life or shit decisions when I'm on the drink. If I stop I'll probably die from withdrawals though

Nothing. I'm so bored.

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>instincts
>relatives

My motorcycles and waiting for Berserk to end.

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