August 1st, 2019

>August 1st, 2019
So how has your life changed since January 1st (if at all)

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wanna kms 60% more

>finally got glasses after years of being nearsighted and not wearing them
>quit drinking after 2 years of alcohol abuse
>broke my old phone and replaced it with a new one
>resumed my final year of university
>passed the class I failed last time
>still couldn't graduate in June because of thesis bullshit
>becoming more isolated, bitter and resentful
>cravings to start drinking again getting stronger

Lost my only friend and now I'm 100% alone. Also got a ps4

became less impressonable to this board and im spending more time to make music, thats about it.

I made a group of best friends and fell in love with one of them then that group of friends bullied the shit outta me when I had a weeks-long mental breakdown and then I had no friends.
My dog died.
I work.

I made new friends.
I dunno. My work is going places.
My dog is still dead. I still work.

oh hey i lost my only friend too!! epic.

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>buying a condo
>Got a promotion at work
>Taking a coding bootcamp

>Hate my job now
>Constantly stressed sale will fall through
>Put 30 days notice in at my apt.

>lost all my friends
>began running 60 miles a week
>began lifting
>got a new phone after breaking my iPhone 4
>became addicted to sneaker collecting
>started talking to a girl

this, made friends and am addicted to sugar !:))

Everything that was bad about my life and myself as a person has gotten worse

January 1 was a bad time for me. I was really frustrated with dating apps and never being able to find anyone that wouldn't ghost me. Now I've been dating a girl for over two months. It's really weird how things can change so drastically like that. No matter how pathetic your attempts are, just keep trying.

absolutely nothing except worse dental hygiene.
for some reason i absolutely hate brushing my teeth. like id rather run a mile or cut down some trees. i procrastinate doing it every night until im so tired i pass out and dont do it

>still no friends
>still a KHV
>depression has gotten far, far worse since the start of the year and I regularly have no energy during the day and also hardly remember anything that goes on in the day because of depression, among other physical symptoms
>doing alright in uni
>haven't done many drugs compared to last year because I haven't worked in a while which sucks because I like drugs
not really much has changed I guess. the memory trouble has extended to the entire year though and I feel like I've hardly done anything at all in 2019

My suicidal ideation has increased

Lets see
January was a lot of shitposting, a bit of depression, and the month I stopped talking to my only friend
February was more shitposting. I met some neat people but ghosted all of them by now
March was okay. I was active on r9k, making good threads, grades improved too
April was also okay, I finally recovered fully from my broken bones
May I got back into exercise, school ended and I relaxed a lot
June I got back into photography, hiked a ton, met some anons irl. I also got a really high paying job
July is mostly a repeat of June. I had some surgery but am recovering well. I got back into vidya but friendships I made online are fading again so I am feeling quite lonely
August is my birthday. I will probably spend it alone again.

fucked up school, haven't gotten a job, got a girlfriend, a net negative I'd say.

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got the job i wanted, feels good man

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>Stopped drinking as much
>Started and then stopped taking Painkillers recreationally
>Started seeing a therapist
>Fell in and out of friend groups
>Starts a job soon
>Life isn't as soul crushingly depressing

I reread some of my old journals and compared my current life to them. I was in a really awful place back then. It hasn't terribly improved, but things have gotten easier. I mean I still feel a lot of apathy in certain areas, but I'm just trying to keep my head up.

>finally started training in mma
>improved my education, got a certificate to work as an accountant now
>working on getting license to sell real estate next
>quit drinking
>finally got tested for HiV (ex junkie)
I actually did most of the things I've been afraid of for years in a few months and everything seems to be improving. I still feel like shit desu

I've been absolutely paranoid all day about having a brain eating amoeba infection. Doesn't help that I live in Miami and that it's hot as fuck. I took a cold shower yesterday and got some of the shower water in my nose. Blew it out quickly, but I woke up with a headache today and a runny nose. The headache's gone thanks to Advil and my nose stopped being runny, but I'm feeling drained of energy and slightly nauseous. I'm not sure if it's because of how anxious I am after reading articles about BEAs or if I actually have one. Super fucking scared 2bh. I've just been laying down all day hoping I'll live to see the next week.

Lost 10kg, became a full blown alcoholic and sought help for my depression.
Its so severe and has been so long they're gonna call in specialists to try and help me. Wonder if its gonna work. Its so rare anyone with my kind of depression seeks help they dont know much about treating it.

>broke up with bf of 3 and a half years that i lived together with
>moved back to my parents, then to a family i didnt know, then got a room for myself with flatmates
>got accepted to uni
>found new bf who lives in another country
>lost all my closest friends because of a petty fight
>found out a lot of new things about myself, especially sexual/kinky things

Has been a chaotic ride but id say its been a good year so far

>lost job I really injoyed
>lost best friend
>cant dig myself out of this hole
I dont think Im gonna see another January fren

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>finally gotten a job
>got accepted into uni
>managed to stop smoking weed

>I hate my job
>the uni seems okay but the city around it is rough - I'll probably get into trouble in my first year
>stopped smoking weed but picked up a stimulant addiction (amphetamines, modafinil, cocaine, methylphenidate, nicotine)

>got a new pc
>got a new phone
>still living the neet life

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Learned to ride motorbikes. Learned how it is to be NEET with no financial support of any kind whatsoever for a few months. Got fatter than ever and started Olympic lifting.

>denied entrance into my AA degree program
>finished community college and got the standard associates degree for finishing
>set up to transfer to a university for two more years despite not wanting anymore schooling due to a lack of interest and direction
>gradually lost interest in a lot of things
>stopped caring about my body image

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I got my BSc degree ( I'm so happy )
and I got into a good grade school

I started lifting since December and now I gained 20Kg and became semi Jow Forums which I'm very proud of, girls now are noticing me

I'm actually happy :)

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I lost a few pounds. Down to 115.

>finally finished my master's degree with good grades
>applied for an internship
>actively tried to socialize with the other interns instead of being my usual avoidant self
>went to parties for the first time with them
>tried to get wasted for the first time, found out I handle alcohol very well
>made good friends
>fell in love with one of the girls and realized I'm not so dead inside after all
>found out she had a boyfriend and settled for a friendship with her
>learned to dance
>went swimming for the first time in years
>replaced some parts of my computer and upgraded to Win10
>hate my internship and only have 1 month left to get results and write a 60+ pages thesis

I was a depressed mess 2 years ago. I'm still a 25 years old khv, but I made some progress and I actually have hope for the future now. We can all do it lads.

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Went from fresh out of hs neet to military man

Fm

>gave up on uni
>still no job
>less and less money
>lost my cat
>broke my phone
>been living on cup noodle

Should I just end myself ?

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I can bench 2pl8 now which was my new years resolution for the year

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I want this tooooooo

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Finished grad school and finally have enough money to move out. Things are looking up a bit.

January I was totally numb because of medication. That at least gave me a bit confidence. Until April, I was actually able to talk to people and leave my house with no problems. Then a family member killed himself, and it broke me completely.
I felt the need to start talking again to someone who had really hurt me. It's alright now though. He's one of my only friends.
Along these months, I've gradually isolated myself. I came back to r9k and browse it everyday. I think I developed feelings for a guy I met here, but he doesn't seem to feel the same. It really hurts me. I've been crying a lot about it. I feel so lonely, and I miss my nephew so much.
This is probably my worse year yet.

2018 was the best year of my life. 2019 has been the worst, and that's saying something. My life completely collapsed around me and I will hopefully have worked up the courage to have killed myself by this time next year.

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Well I posted in a fit New year's thread for dubs = make it singles = don't and I got trips
Haven't got a gf yet but I'm actually pretty contented, so maybe this is the trips magic

>>became addicted to sneaker collecting

Kys

>met a cute fembot, she became my best friend
>end up meeting irl and losing my virginity with her
>went from part time to full time at my job
>old phone broke, had to get a new one
>alcohol tolerance increased
>lost some weight
>old friends from hs have entirely ditched me at this point, have no irl friends
Still want to kms desu. Might actually do it.

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>started doing lots of chores
>started eBaying shit
>demolished a small structure
Basically nothing has happened. It is imperative that I quit using the Internet entirely but I am not mentally prepared and will go on some kind of rampage probably

sleeping issues which started in december 1 never went away. life is meaningless i cant enjoy anything because im so tired all the time.

it did not, im still a trash old useless neet
every year that passes im a little closer to death, and that is a good thing

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Started listening to metal

>got quest cape and heron pet on osrs
>got a girlfriend

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>started cooking a lot less
>Made female friends
>Go out like two times a week
>Drinking a ton more
>Actually tried killing myself last week while drunk
>Still thinking about that girl that rejected me in January
Guess it's finally time to try that therapy thing

Some fuse burnt out in my head and now even a whole gram of weed doesnt affect me and i just dont give a shit abouy anything. Haven't talked to anyone but my dad every few days for 2 months. And people in my town probably think im a crackhead because every now and then i go out to the shops without showering in my old crusty clothes but i dont give anough of a fuck about people anymore to care

Went from friendless loser who sat alone at lunch looking at my phone to having a gf that really loves me and getting a friend group. Keep your head in the game, things change

new position and I make 12$ instead of 9$ plus a regular schedule so I have a solid M-F 9-5 where I can see my friends on Friday. still no gf or true desire for one. slowly becoming an alcoholic (drink 3 nights a week). about the same amount of savings for a van so I can move out of my parents place. still a fat fuck but I think I have lost 10 or 20 pounds so I still have over a hundred to go. cry more when I go to bed but overall I feel ok still. could be worse desu

> Broke up with GF Twice
> Suspect she may be into drugs, cheating, or both
> Potentially just irrationally hiding shit/being suspicious
> Notice housemate is listening to music, watching movies, and eating food/drink that my ex and I did
> He disappears randomly for 30mins to an hour at a time
> He's a recovering alcoholic/coke addict
> Has been leaving the house with his old snuff box open and reserve cash drawer open
> He's been telling irrational lies about shit like conversations we've had about repairs to the house
> Has done similar things in the past
> Ex had manic episode during coffee date earlier in the month and talked really fast for most of the day
> Realize her sleep schedule is way off cause she would cancel dates due to sleeping all day
> Initially wrote sleep disturbances and weight loss off as a consequence of sweaty workplace
> Remember two of her sisters do coke
> Remember she did it with them once
> When she broke up with me, she was capslock-yelling at me until 7am and telling me I made her feel nothing but guilt and shame and that I was a toxic partner before blocking me
> Now beginning to think one or more people may either be enabling, or grooming her with drugs

I'm keeping up the no contact and I have a date(?) saturday, but if my housemate's giving her drugs and shit then I'm having that motherfucker arrested as soon as I can obtain enough evidence, legally. I have to keep a low profile and pretend not to suspect anything until then. I'm not sure if I'm reaching out my ass or not about this situation, as well. But I do love my ex and I want her to be able to succeed in life...she did pretty damn well with me...much better than she does on her own. I know I'm not her parent, it's just that I can't stop caring.

got a girlfriend and diagnosed with anxiety disorder like every zoomer ever

Lost a lot of weight, went from being 5/10 to 8/10, changed my hairstyle, girls actually check me out now and make long eyecontact with me. Also I am now trying to stop being antisocial.

>enroll in a uni in my hometown because my score wasn't high enough for a uni in the capital like i wished
>attend for a few months but drop out
>have enough points to go to a uni in the capital this semester
It starts in September. Here's hoping it goes better this time

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>asked out a super cute girl
>said no
>fell out, ghosted
>seriously fucking depressed
>plan suicide by the end of the year
>met another girl through Jow Forums
>met up
>had a great day, one of the best of my life
>asked her if she wanted to hangout again
>not rn
>talked more
>asked again
>no
>getting worried at this point
>fuck it, ask her if she'd be more comfortable seeing me as her bf
>sorry no user
>very sad boy again
>met another girl through Jow Forums
>said I wanted a gf and thought she was cute
>she said she's interested in me
>we could be onto something boys
>no longer want to be an hero just yet

God I hope this will work out for once

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My landwhale ex-gf left me after 15 years. It was kind of a big loss, because I needed her home to get away from my Alzheimer's mother. I had to make some changes in my life to deal with that. But now it's all good. And now I've got back my will to be fit, and that's beautiful. I didn't want to put my cock in that landwhale anymore anyways. But it was a big change.

Ayyyy 9 trips

>got a job (aside from the fact that the schedule is a little heavy and the salary is mediocre, the service is quiet and easy)
>lost my only friend (he became an SJW upon entering college)
>want to die, but I don't think about killing myself anymore
Daijobu for now.

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>SJW
wow user I wonder why you don't have any friends

>one day realize how shitty my life is
>get super motivated
>made life plans, wrote down ideas and goals to change every aspect of my life for the better
>spent the whole week making preparations for the big change
>finished about 70% of plans
>planned to start the change on Monday at the start of a new week and wake up a new person
>run out of time on Sunday not fully prepped and say "yeah whatever 1 more week won't hurt"

That was 6 months ago, and every week I tell myself I'm gonna start this upcoming Monday, but I never find the same motivation to finish plans or just start when the end of the week actually comes.
I know I'm the only one holding me back from the life I crave, but I'm not sure how to change myself.
I'm getting so tired of doing nothing with my life for the last 4 years, I can't ignore the sinking feeling anymore.

Thanks for reading my blog.

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Killing myself right now I'm not even joking

how? sodium nitrate, gun, drop hang or don't bother you'll just wake up tomorrow

behind schedule a bit, but I'm getting somewhere

>quit my shitty job for a better one
>dyed my hair black
>sold my car for my project

I'm incredibly skeptical about the next few months desu, but I've had a rough 3 years so hopefully this autumn, my project will finally start taking off and I'll start seeing some profit from it

Fingers crossed *shrugs*

Since the 1st day of the year I have become:
>Fatter
>Hairier
>Uglier overall
>More of a shut in
>More degenerate
>Deeper into Jow Forums mindset
>Lost any hope of ever having a girlfriend or losing my virginity
>Basically also lost all IRL friends
The ride truly never ends.

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>got into runescape
>nolifed runescape
>started doing a bunch of psychedelics
>got an e-gf
>lost e-gf
>started selling things on eBay
>started selling drugs IRL
>started working out 5-6 times a week
>started eating healthier
>applied for neetbux following Uncle Ruckus guide
>about to get neetbux
>got my own place
>ended up getting collitis
>going to get $8k from company for it
>house got shot up 9 times by gangbangers
>planning on moving soon
>overall happy year though

>house got shot up 9 times by gangbangers since the start of this year
>9 times in 8 months

Do you live in Detroit? Get out of there man, what the fuck

>Went back to online school after taking a break during the winter semester
>Moved to a new house
>Stepdad was kicked out for a few weeks
>He came back to move and basically stay because my mom has financial issues she thinks he'll help with (he won't)

went shit, i can't study the major i want. considering suicide

My life hasn't changed since 2014

>found out I'm bipolar
>quit college
>applied for some jobs
>less money now because I didn't take a job I got offered at pizza hut

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I made a friend out an an old acquaintance, and Im in the process of getting a new job, just gotta finalize some paperwork and I'll be in the best place I've been in years. Still lonely but fuck it Ill have money to spend on audio shit

I'm unemployed now

My relation with my siblings is now almost inexistant. But I finally got my driver's license

>Got a ~15k raise at work
>Bought a 2nd house in another state
>In the process of moving about 600 miles away
>Father died a couple of months ago

Thats about all, I reckon...

What goals etc did you make?

Started working out 6 days a week, it's drastically improved my looks in general and I really enjoy doing it. Still working the same entry level tech job, 2 years in to it now. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever move on from it because everything I apply to shoots me down within a day. Since Jan things have gotten a little better but I still just feel lost.

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sounds like you're doing well your dad would be proud

>got a qt gf
>graduated from college
>got a job

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>got fired from my job
>Quit fornicating with tinder girls and going to massage parlors as I realized I was developing a sex addiction
>Quit smoking weed
>quit taking psychedelics
>quit drinking alcohol
>Stopped eating sweets
>Started fasting, became a Christian.
Keep the faith, OP. Every day you don't drink is an accomplishment. Keep working on your discipline. This is all a process to help us grow stronger, sometimes it sucks.

I've regained a lot of memories from events i was hoping to forget about the time they happened.

Got a car and a first job and have 5k more in my bank account
Guy at my job says he'll get me in at his other job making 14/hour (take home pay)

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Been ghosted by people, rejected by others, probably my gonna get ghosted by more people again soon

I'm fit and still I let women make me feel like shit. Get free sex tho

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I finally quit college after five years so there's that. I swear to God my younger self wouldn't be surprised that I turned out a failure since he didn't even give a shit about foresight and only cared about himself.

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Everyone still refuses to praise name in public.
No one proclaims the good words I have done.
My enemies remain unhumbled and unpunished for all of their crimes.
People still sneer at me when they recognize me in the places I go, and I still don't know how they recognize me or for what.
Gangstalkers still ridicule me with their heckling everywhere I go.
No one buys my book (pic.)
No one pays me for my work.
Instead, they pay my enemies to torment me in the public spaces I can't escape due to my indigence.

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Things have changed, idk if they're better
>relationship with qt gril from hs faded away
>almost fell for a dumb hoe cuz I miss qt
>finished my first year of community college. Did well.
>qt is home from college now and lives within walking distance. Still don't talk
>still don't have the motivation to paint like I used to, at least I do some doodles now
> I'm back to being genuinely fit again
>looking for a job now so I have money and something to do
>recently signed up to go on a mission to India and Nepal for church in a few months
>my grandpa will pay for half, making it cheaper than living at home
>maybe helping people will help me too
>made plans to move states and join the Air Force rotc when I get back.
>military isn't really my scene. neither is religion. Idc
Overall it sucks but it there's hope

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I have a better job, i feel more confident about myself
Im having a positive attitude change.
I think i am eager of enjoying life a little bit more. I started making plans...
Is not a bad year.

Still lonely but it will get better eventually.

>Still feel depressed
>still have suicidal thoughts every day
>still no gf
>still have the same dead end job
not much has changed user

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almost dropped out of college and became a neet but reenrolled and now i'm thinking about dropping out again

lost 30 lbs, was noticed by senpai, on the verge of either being fired or promoted, not sure if i should restard my drunken city nightwalks (except taking pics/video this time)