Sergeant Self-Improvement

WHAT IN THE SAM HELL HAVE I COME BACK TO, I LEAVE THIS PLATOON TO GO DEAL WITH SOME ROGUE FBI AGENTS NEAR THE SOUTH-WESTERN STATES AND I AM GREETED WITH WHINEY VIRGINS COMPLAINING ABOUT NO GF. DROP AND GIVE ME 15 PUSHUPS AND TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE IMPROVED YOURSELF TODAY!

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you know what, fuck it im gonna do it.

sir i already feel a bit better my muscles enjoyed that little work out sir

Sorry Mr. Ermey, this is the Lonely Losers Lounge, the Marine barracks is two blocks down.

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Yeah 15? easy serge
*does them*
I cleaned, rearranged, and fixed up my work desk today.

Atta-boy! I WANT TO HEAR YOUR SOLDIER VOICE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU WILL NOT BE SOME WEAK LITTLE PUSSY, YOU WILL BE SOMEBODY WHO CRUSHES PUSSY. UNDERSTOOD?

YOU LOUSY LITTLE LILYS WILL USE YOUR MAN VOICE. STRENGTH IS BUILD UPON DEFEAT, DESTROY THOSE MUSCLES AND GIVE ME 30 PUSHUPS

sir, yes sir

my arms feel a bit mushy now but my muscles are active now

i've found that people actually helping you with things you need in life is a fat more useful than someone (or yourself) just yelling at you all day. Your just making us spin our tires in the mud, earny. If you don't have answers. can it.

SIR YES SIR
15 WAS THE APPETIZER SIR

REMINDING YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL FORM IS HELP, RECRUIT
CAN YOU EVEN DO A SINGLE PUSHUP?

LET'S SEE WHO GOT THE QUADS

>gets on ground
>gets into pushup stance
>arms break under weight
welp, this'll get me more NEETbux. thanks, sarge.

Yes, I suppose you need a shoulder to cry on huh? Instead of getting up and doing something, anything, you whine. I want these boys to become the men they are meant to be. Strong, Intelligent, and ready to face the world. Not good listeners. SO DROP AND GIVE ME 50 PUSH UPS
GOOD JOB MY BOY. CAN YOU DEMOLISH YOUR BODY AND DO 45 PUSH UPS?!

AT EASE SOLDIER, HE IS JUST AFRAID OF PAIN LIKE MOST THESE DAYS

sir, sorry sir my arms failed me at 35 additional push ups i couldnt do the 45, sir

COMPLETE THE SET, GET ON YOUR KNEES IF YOU MUST, TODAY'S PAIN IS TOMORROW'S STRENGTH
GOD DAMN IT FATTY. WOMEN WANT A STRONG BIG MAN NOT A WEAK FAT MAN

sir, yes sir, i did additional 5 to punish me for my weakness, thanks sir

>shoots at you several times

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i respond to people who say please sir.

SIR I HAVE DONE THE PUSH-UPS
I HAVE ALSO BEEN TRYING TO IMPROVE MY DIET BY EATING THREE MEALS A DAY INSTEAD OF SKIPPING MOST OF THEM SO I CAN JUST PLAY VIDEO GAMES, SIR

I MUST DO THIS BECAUSE I AM A PRETTY LIGHTWEIGHT GUY AND I WISH TO LOOK HEALTHY AND ATTRACTIVE FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME SIR

ALRIGHT YOU HOOLIGANS, YOU BODY MAY BE GETTING STRONGER, BUT IS YOUR BRAIN? TELL ME SOMETHING YOU ARE LEARNING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF

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YOU AREN'T THE TROOPS I WANTED AT FIRST, BUT NOW I CAN SEE YOUR POTENTIAL.
WHAT OTHER SKILLS ARE WE WORKING ON TO KEEP THE MIND SHARP?

YOU WILL BE SAYING PLEASE WHEN I SHOVE THIS BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TASTE THE RUBBER

sir i have read several philosophical books e.g. fahrenheit 451 and continuesly learn how to treat people around me better for their wellbeing sir

NOT SURE IF THIS COUNTS SIR IM CURRENTLY TRYING TO DRAW PEOPLE SIR SINCE MY ABILITY IS CURRENTLY INADEQUATE SIR

Excellent, a man of strength and knowledge will succeed when he gets his lazy ass up and applies himself

PERFECT. EXPRESSING YOURSELF THROUGH THE ARTS IS WHAT HAS PROPELLED THE GREAT NATIONS AND PEOPLES OF HISTORY.

sir, i want to apply to the army, it will not take long until im done with school and then i will fight the good fight so no more army man has to visit people s homes to tell them that a loved one died sir

NO, I JUST HAD A FAT WANK AND A PIZZA SIR. THE PRIVATE IS ENTITLED TO A FAT PIZZA AND WANK... SIR!!

No matter the fight, always lookout for your family first. We all are part of a tribe, or squad

HE IS ENTITLED TO SHIT IN A FAN IF HE SO CHOOSES IN THIS GREAT US OF A, DOESN'T MEAN IT IS IN HIS BEST INTERESTS TO

sir my family has been shit to me since i was 6 years old it all started with heavy psychological abuse from my mom, i just want to undo all injustice in this world sir

understandable. We can't face this cold SOB world alone though. The injustice of this world is a lot closer to home then you may think

sir, tomorrow same time?