I am so fucking pathetic

Yeah I think I might be on the spectrum. Its kinda scary thinking about it but it all makes sense

When I think of something cringy that I have done I have a little outburst where I tense up like I've eaten something sour and hit a wall or myself and I talk to myself in the third person.

Maybe I'm over reacting

;-;
It's not like you can't improve on yourself. As a matter of fact, now that you're out of that relationship, think about how much less guilty you can be about things now. Just put it behind you, and try to improve on the now.

I also considered that. I know for a fact I must have some kind of developmental disorder.
There's no way this social ineptitude can arise from a healthy brain

>When I think of something cringy that I have done I have a little outburst where I tense up like I've eaten something sour and hit a wall or myself and I talk to myself in the third person.
I usually let out some weird vocalization when I remember dumb shit I did.
Maybe it's tourette's?
idk
all i know is that it fucking sucks

I appreciate the kind words, I really do, but I just can't stop thinking about it.
He was a boy, and I unloaded all of my fucking problems on him.
I tried thinking about something else, but the guilty and the shame always come back.
And I truly loved him. I really, really did.
He was my first true love.
That is so fucked up. I feel horrible, and I should feel horrible, because what I did to him was horrible.
He started drinking because of me.
Fuck.

Don't cringe. Get mad. Anger is energy, and energy can be spent on improvement.

i can only get mad at myself

nobody thinks about you as much as you do. or at all. it really doesnt matter if you're cringe or you're dead. live with it, bud.

I do this too for some reason, kinda like "hnggg" when i think of shit I've done or said in the past. Never hear of anyone else then me that does this.

Maybe you should try to do something relaxing to get your mind off of it. Or listen to music. I've heard that listening to music of certain genres depending on your mood can help. For example, when someone is calm, they might feel even better listening to atmospheric music. Or if someone is angry/upset, they might feel better listening to something like metal. Just try to find something that feels right. Don't force yourself to listen to pretentious classical music or whatever to force yourself to calm down. I know from personal experience that listening to something which feels in allignment with my mood really helps with frustration. And you know what, it shows that you are at least being a decent person when you recognize that you've done something wrong. It means you care about more than yourself.
Keep living!

Thank you, user, you have no idea how good it is to have someone you can vent to.

are you attractive at least?

asdfg

No, I'm not ugly either. 5/10

You'll be fine, kid

:^)
Thanks, nice to hear that I somehow helped someone. This is by far the most useful thing I have accomplished this week!

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So, what about you? Do you have any demons?

Other than tourettes when it ass rapes my social life? Nah

I'm sorry.
Mental illness sucks so fucking much

Yeah. Doesn't help that I was diagnosed at 13 lol

Do you have bpd? Serious question