What do you find it hard to cope with?

that ill probably never have a dominant gf who loves me for who I am

trying to find something remotely entertaining to deal with boredom. I despise all video games

that I'll probably end up living in an apartment by myself and working some dead end job for the rest of my life

I am unable to get my revenge unless I'm willing to go to jail

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that time passes at an alarming rate

Isolation in my formative years ruined my development and I'll be incomplete for the rest of my life because I missed out on the experiences that make other people grow into well adjusted adults

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That I'm a fucking ugly spic born in the worst piece of fucking shit in this planet.

Care to give me an alternative explanation?

indifference,
originally

He can't because materialism makes complete sense

the dullness of the world

>ywn redpill society to your exact, specific, autistic brand of redpill
>ywn have qt gardener gf who wants nothing more in life than to help you run your single-family farm
>ywn have a pirate radio broadcast from a lone antenna coming off your barn, to talk about everything from the latest paranormal and conspiracy theories to aviation news and Orthodox theology
>ywn have a beautiful family with several children who grow up strong and proud
>ywn just have a normal fucking body and not have to take pills to stay alive
>ywn not live in pain every minute of the day
feels bad man

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Nothing, after decade of NEETdom (NOT living at home) coping is one of the most valuable skill i have.

>No food for days
EZ
>No food for weeks
EZ just steal or forage

>No money for days
EZ
>No money for weeks
Hustle online, steal, beg from government, EZ

>No apartment for years
>Find a fat girl
>Make her feel like normal girls feel all the time
>BAM free living space for 4 years
Adapt, improvise, overcome. EZ
Well, you get the idea.

I just want to experience spiritual paradise but I wound up in this shitty human form somehow.

Loneliness, never having had a boyfriend, being gay, wanting to move but can't for years. Nothing too major.

Everytime I make a friend, they always abandon me and then I'm all alone asking myself what did I do to scare them off. Why did you leave me behind, Matthew? I just wanted someone that I could talk to. Now its just me and my thoughts, again

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My oneitis sharing photos of her perfect life with her bf and me being kv at 22

If you're a man i'll be your friend user

Post discord

I wasn't born and raised an upper class kid in southern California.

I've lived all my life in a small midwest town.

Sadly I don't have the means to get out of here because I don't have any education. So I just waste away.

Sorry, user. Biologically female here, and like I'd post my discord on a Mongolian basketweaving forum

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Well shit, I genuinely wish you good luck user.

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Sigh. You know what im about to say. Just...get off m-...I cant do this anymore. I...just please...

I don't feel like I belong here. I don't feel human. I feel broken. I feel insane. I feel like I should be doing something, anything, to dig myself out of this pit I have buried myself within and become a capable, healthy and good person, but I'm hard wired for failure. I go to sleep full of drive and determination and wake up the next day suddenly sacked of all purpose, and instantly fall back into my old habits. It doesn't matter if I try to prepare for it with a plan, I will sabotage it. All of my attempts to change fail. All of my attempts to grow and be a better person fail. I have no willpower. I have no energy. All I know is failure. I am not the person I want to be, but there is no person I want to be so I am aimless without an identity, without a dream. I am not dead, but I am not alive, I'm a corpse being dragged around by the people around me, echoing their body language, their words, their ideas, their false schemes, all while knowing I am nothing but cattle born to be slaughtered. Whenever I'm alone I descend into madness, because I am always being watched by the voices in my head. I am being eaten alive by my own head. Surely, I must be able to find SOMETHING to live for? It would have been fine if I never knew the power that was just out of my reach. This whole planet is domesticated and distracted. I cannot take much more insanity, much more disgust, much more hatred, much more loneliness. There is no incentive to live, no reason to push, no reason to care. Whether I become a better person or not, it doesn't matter to anyone but me, and I am unreliable. I am full of hatred. Whether I find a reason to live, I will just be telling myself that it's the reason. None of it is true. I don't want to live or die, I'm weak, and nothing I will ever do will matter to me. I've let go of everything but my own selfish desires and the distractions that pass me through time. I am too aware that everything I want to be is selfish, material, human, and pointless.

the fact that I can't find motivation to live. I mean, before I would live in fear, fear of sudden death, fear of lost opportunities, but once I became ok with the possibility of those things happening I can't make an effort to do nothing. I lost my meaning and I can't find it back.
the only thing I can see in front of me is pain, and something tells me I better jump ship before everything really goes to shit.

i know this exact feel

and the worst part is I think the main reason is just that Im too ugly

I know its difficult to see someone else's perspective, but I genuinely feel just as much as a robot as any other user here. Life has completely fucked me over and over again to the point where posting on fucking r9k is the most positive social interaction i get. Atleast you probably have other friends like you that you can talk to. I literally have nothing, user. Its just me and this fucking room until I finally work up the courage to kill myself

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You seem like some kind of artist. I'd say take more risks. Do it once a week, and you'll start to feel better.
Also stop holding everything inside. Sports are good for this, specially boxing or something similar. Something that lets you go all out. You need to open your eyes, raise your head and look straight in front of you. No matter what you see, you can break through it and grasp the meaning behind it. You can do this with everything, even people.
Your focus should be listening to the music that tells you what you need to do to accomplish that thing. Yes, THAT. The thing with no meaning you always did for some reason. Your actions are the spirit of this thing, trying to come out, because it is alive. You're not it's creator, but the only one who can unearth it's true meaning, or heart, if you will.
I wish you good luck, user, and this may seem weird, but trust me, I know more about you than you realize.

Im such an emotional shell. Kind of like the relationship with Asuka and Shinji. I just cannot bring myself to feel anything about my mother or brother. I hate that I am like this. I just havent been able to will myself into loving them like I should. They havent done anything wrong, they treat me better than I deserve. And I just do not care about them at all.

Genuinely curious, how do you have such little contact with people when it's obvious that turning on VC on anything will immediately get you attention and people wanting to talk with you? To me, it seems that social isolation in such a case is a choice, although I'm open to the contrary

If you're actually curious and not just going to scream at me because I don't have a dick; It really isn't that easy for me, user. I know its basically a meme at this point but alot of things has happened to me in my life to make me this way. I'm terrified to leave my house, I'm even more terrified to actually talk to someone else. The thought of me doing that is the same as me asking you to go on stage naked in front of thousands of people. Every single social interaction with anyone has always ended in it blowing up in my face to the point of even talking to my mom makes me shake. I'm really pathetic, user. Even if I could VC without spilling my spaghetti, it would just be people wanting to talk to me because I'm a girl. That doesn't feel very good, user...I'd want people to talk to me because they'd want me to be my friend. I've tried talking to one other person I thought felt the same way, but after I told him I was actually a girl he got really weird and then ghosted me. So fuck it, user. Thanks for reading my blogpost, I'm going back to larp as a guy

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It doesn't change things, but "probability" really means "complexity." Whether that's the collisions a ball makes with a roulette wheel, the EM signals generated all around us that we call radio static, or the motion of fluids. And for its part, the spooky bullshit people go on about with quantum mechanics is an interpretation of the relative success of deploying statistical mechanics to some observations.

>Even if I could VC without spilling my spaghetti, it would just be people wanting to talk to me because I'm a girl. That doesn't feel very good, user...
This is adult life, shitcake. Your gender determines an awful lot of your social interactions. Refusing to recognize this is just a trait of never having really grown out of highschool, which itself is a pathetic adult-child trait.
As a man, I recognize that women are generally uncomfortable being alone with me until they know me fairly well. As a man, I recognize that I'm expected to take a lot more initiative with my life. The list goes on and on.
You have a lot of expectations and hurdles as a woman, but complaining that men don't want to be your platonic friend is still retarded. For adult females, platonic male friends are largely reserved to family, workplace friends, and (if married) your husband's friends - although certainly not as close as your husband is to them. The same goes for men. Acting like a retarded special snowflake is just showing you want special treatment, walk outside and you'll see that the dynamic is much more a two-way street than the internet, a place full of thirsty betas willing to throw their cock in a blender just for a (you) from someone claiming to be a grill.

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>I think the main reason is just that Im too ugly

Maybe thats my case too. Or its my shitty personality. idk, man.

Now i understand how the lack of sex and human love reduces the lifespan of a person. Fuck.

To me, people are always interested in you for a specific reason, be it shared interests, wanting to convince your of something/debate, or sexual interest. If a woman wanted to talk to me because she's interested in being a romantic partner I'd at least be willing to hear her out (although I'd 99% reject her for personal reasons). I don't see anything wrong with talking to and maybe becoming acquainted with somebody even if the initial reason isn't one I'd like.

I've had social problems, not as bad as you, but enough to where I felt is was a real issue in my life. I was helped out a lot by reading literature (a lot of Russian and medieval stuff) and that later got me into philosophy/religion. That probably won't work for you, but try out engaging with different ideas and doing different things each day.

Also, I'd highly, highly advise against suicide. It seriously destroys the lives of those around you and even if it's not obvious. It's hard to express, but it's really painful to know that things got so bad somebody decided to end his own life and that it's never coming back.

Wow, user; I didn't really expect that you would even type all that. I guess I can understand kinda of what you are trying to say. I don't really try to act like a special snowflake, you're the one that asked me because you were curious. I'm sorry that you feel so strongly about this, but I agree that societal gender roles are unfair. isn't what you greentexted me acknowledging that? I'd still be exactly the same as I am now if I was a guy, none of my problems would go away, user. I'd still be afraid to go outside, afraid to VC with others. Me larping as a guy is a way for me to avoid benefiting from that, if I VC that kinda all goes away. I'm sorry, user..I can't change your outlook on life but it wouldn't be any better than mine currently
Thanks for trying to understand, user. I like raising axolotls, its probably one of the only interesting hobbies i have. The guilt of suicide is the only thing thats keeping me from it, I don't want to do that to my mother but it gets really hard sometimes

Its crazy how shitty my life is. Like damn man im so ugly and poor and lonely and short and some people were just born with everything and im wondering why God hates me so much and why I cant just have it good for once in my life. One more bad day and I will just end it all man

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Crippling guilt over pretty much everything I've ever done

I keep wondering if people would brand me a pedophile because of how I was careless over what I masturbated to in my teens or the fact I still didn't care what age I beat it to anime a lot of the time

I know I'm not one but I have such an immense amount of self loathing that I've never really cared about what I thought, I always sought for other peoples opinions over my own and I've always hated that part about myself

Had a plan to kill myself a while ago by jumping off a cliff but the cliffs weren't steep enough as I'd hoped and I know plenty people care about me so I wouldn't want to displease them

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What I cope with
>how many things I've fucked up in the past
>knowing how much more will be fucked up inevitably
>fragile ego that waxes and wanes at predictable cycles, swinging between self-loathing and pure solipsism
>having had one real human in my life who understood me and now he is dead
>that the girls of my dreams are fantasies and will never be with me
>that my heart is slowly shriveling and becoming incapable of love as I toss aside obsessive infatuation
>how I am a fat manbaby who manipulates his mother to feed his food addiction, who has no skills or positive qualities and is a net burden on his personal contacts and society at large
>that this society really doesn't like me and hates my existence yet they prevent me from painlessly and easily killing myself thereby removing an ugly wart from their sight

I like youre atitude

>you're the one who asked me because you were curious
Wrong guy, that was the second reply. Gender roles aren't unfair, they're just different. Also sounds like you have major trust issues and insecurities. You should work on those

Inevitable old age, not to be mistaken with fear of death.
The fact that I am nearly 30 and only had two girlfriends in my life, wasted peak of youth on being single, miserable and drinking.
Living day-to-day operating on nothing but fool's hope's remains.

Letting go of bitterness at my parents for not caring about my facial deformity and leaving me to pay to fix it myself with surgery at 26, leaving me to grow up hideous and romantically and socially stunted from the age of 8.

fuck man that is sad i feel sorry for you

I feel that.

I can't deal with the fact that everything is just random, and all of the good and bad things are just people selfishly trying to get pleasure and avoid pain. I know that feeling it sucks is pointless, but I can't just abandon the way I was brought up. I hate that I'm pointless, and I hate that I hate that.

When would you say we get old?

The fact that others enjoy life and i've been planning suicide for the last decade.
Others spent their teens doibg things they liked, i just tried to pass time.

>What do you find it hard to cope with?
Wasting my life wageslaving

I pay a therapist hundreds of dollars a month to listen to me complain about how i hate my job just to get my parents off my ass about it

Coming to terms with the fact that I'll never be good enough for anyone, when all I want is to make someone happy

Do you try hard?

Have you tried screwing around more?

Well, I just do what I can, but I feel like it's either too much or too little. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

You might be surrounded by bad people. Got any examples?

My therapist told me I seem to go for emotionally unavailable guys, I don't know if that's true, but I guess he has a point.
As for examples, I'm not sure, trying to be there for people whenever they need me but then when I need someone it's like "I have my own problems, I can't be there for you" and stuff like that. It makes me sad because at this point even if someone does care and wants to help, I won't say anything because I don't want to be a burden to anyone else.

Sorry for talking so much.

This is reddit normie tier. If you aren't past this stage yet, you're in for a wild ride.

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Mankind's blindingly rapid satiety with what is good.

If you were there for someone who needed you and they wouldn't return the favor then they are assholes. Actual jerks.
As for not wanting to be a burden, you're not. A severely autistic kid can be a burden on parents. A lying stealing junkie can be a burden on the people too weak to let him go. Someone who never has anyone to talk to is not a burden.

Please cheer up, you're a good egg

Thank you for the kind words, I wish I could think like, it's just very difficult. I hate how I overthink and basically have no self esteem.

I really do appreciate it, I wish you were my friend, you're the goodest egg

I have a friend like this, the second he sees a girl he talks to he just ignores everyone else. Dickhead did this shit all throughout middle-high school and it was fucking annoying.

We'd be walking down the halls chatting then a girl he knows walks by and there he goes. One time at our lunch table I needed him to slide his chair over so my leg wasn't crushed up behind it but since he was talking to some random chick he just ignored me the entire time tll she left, shit like that made me slowly start to resent him and it's only getting worse.

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Seems like you need some faith.

I'm tired of being a worthless insecure manchild at age 28, I'm not an asshole to people infact I'm very polite. But I'm a judgemental insecure sack of shit on the inside.

My parents are gonna be dead soon.

I am at a wits' end. Every day, I am beset upon the way of being more and more hollow while simultaneously, my idea of happiness is stagnant and remain unfulfilled. The end is near. Sure, I'm in my early 20s, but I don't feel like I have any more time. The effort I've put into something I have loved since childhood, just to become futile because of either getting constantly denied or ghosted by recruiters. Yet, somehow, there are tidbits of rage that comes and go. I've pushed everyone away from me, cause I don't deserve their love or support.

I hope that one day I'll just pass from alcohol poisoning after consuming as if it was water.

If you have nothing else, at least you're a good person. Dont let just anyone leech off your positivity.
Just remember there are a lot of selfish jerks you cant help.

Yeah, I guess you're right, I'll try. I don't consider myself a good person though, I just treat people the way I'd like to be treated, you know?

That makes you a good person.

The depression is because almost nobody else does that. Pick a day and say its your day. This is the one day of the week that you use to treat you right. You try so hard every day but this day is yours. Get massages, foot care, stay inside and put your phone on do not disturb. And dont feel bad a second of it. It'll take time to get used to it but you need it. You deserve it. Others do it because they they think they're hot shit by default but you need it and shouldn't be ashamed of it.

the fact my ideal career path is out of reach and i wont be able to afford to fund it ever. i will inevitably end up working something i hate

Dont worry, just fuck around at your job.

You're way too nice to me, I feel like I don't deserve it even though I know I do. I don't even know what to say.. Thank you

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That makes two of us, fren.

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Just promise me you'll take care of yourself.

If you run yourself ragged to make others happy then you matter.

Sooner or later me and most of the people I love will suffer and die. I don't want to say goodbye to my father on his death bed or learn that my brother got run over and killed. I really don't know what I'd do if I found out my sister got cancer again.

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That I might be in this psychward until december, I couldn't stand it if I had too, please anons pray that I get out sooner

Hit the nail on the fucking head.

Furthermore, the activities I did in isolation (vidya, anime, etc) don't have the same appeal as they did back in the day. I find myself despairing over free time because it's all pointless when there's no one to spend it with.

I'll do my best.
If you feel like chatting outside of here you're welcome to add me on discord, Ayumu#4037

Sorry but dont get your hopes up.

I'm one of those emotionally distant fuck your therapist warned you about.

Dont let thirsty ass niggas fool you.

You matter

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Hey friends are nice to have man

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