Greetings, r9k. Thrice have I been summoned and thrice have I answered the call. I am a djinn with the power to alter the threads of your reality. Any and all wishes made in this thread shall be granted.
But I warn you... be mindful of how you word them.
I want Drow gf.
I want to know my future, mr. genie
Granted. You now are in a loving relationship with a Drow. Due to incompatibilities between worlds, however, she must stay on her planet in a distant galaxy.
I'd like a gf that makes me happy, my life up until this point makes my wish zero sum
Please go away, I don't want any wishes.
I want to win the lottery next time I buy a ticket, and I want no negative consequences to come of it.
Granted. You will be sent a schedulebook that has in it all of your appointments marked down for 2019.
i need more cocaine and money
Granted. You win the lottery in a JRPG and absolutely nothing bad comes of it.
A gentle femdom gf who is trustworthy and loves me deeply. I'll love her extremely much
Granted. You are sent on an airplane to Colombia where you will live the rest of your life surround by coca plants in the jungle. What little monies you had back goes quite a long way there.
Granted. You now have a gentle femdom GF who tells you everyting about her 24/7 job doing femdom in Detroit. She never lies to you about the activities that take place in her clients' places and you lover her.
No no no, I want a new genie, you're awful. I wish for you to be banished.
That is still an improvement from the current situation.
i want to instantly die today in this real world, in this dimension and reality.
pain isnt an important factor.
try turning this one around djinn faggot.
Granted. Your wish rings out to the universe. One of your femdom GF's clients from Detroit is your new Genie. However, he is not used to being a genie and does not know the proper way to grant wishes. As for me, I am banished to never grant you any more wishes nor even acknowledge you. I may only grant wishes to everyone else.
A miracle happens. Everything wrong with the world suddenly gets better. It become like a utopian heaven. Money is suddenly meaningless and ugliness suddenly disappears from everyone. That one girl you loved so much lock eyes wiuth while everyone is celebrating in the bliss of the sudden rapture. She makes her way towards you and you can feel in your soul that she coming to stay with you forever. She is almost floating on air with every step, coming to make the perfect eternity... with you.
Before she can get within 10 feet of you, you suffer a heart attack and blink out of existence without a trace. Neither your soul nor even your body is left behind.
nice try.
must say im still satisfied with the outcome.
Give me a billion dollars, legally sound and don't change anything else.
i want immunity from the weaknesses of old age
Granted. You are given one billion Iranian Rial dollars in cold, hard cash. Spend it well.
Granted. You will die before the age of 55.
I wish that you stoped existing.
A rock comes sailing from out of nowhere and strikes you right in the temple. Suddenly you have no idea of my existence. Also you have permanently lost the ability to say many words and also the ability to subconsiously keep your sphincter closed.
i wish you were juzam djinn instead, mr erhnam
Oh great genie, please grant me omnipotence.
i wish to be musically talented and impress crowds of people like i imagined myself doing in middle school when i was uncool
I wish for a million dollars and for my life to remain exactly the same as it is now except I now have 1 million dollars
i wish for a harem of catgirls
i wish to be a beautiful woman
I wish you'd shut up!
in b4 zimbabwean dollars
I wish target non-wall creature my opponent controls would gain forestwalk until my next upkeep
I wish I learned every language Okay Iran Rial
I wish for instant death
I wish to alter my physical form, in this plane of existence, at will. To have the power to do it whenever i want, and how ever many times as i want to. So that i may never grow old and weak unless i allow it, and can experience this world through the lenses of countless eyes. I shall wonder this world solving the countless mysteries of nature and this world, until i am content to let myself be taken over by death
*deals 1 damage to you upon seeing this reply*
Granted. Your music ability is the same as it is now but you are sent back to high school which is now a high school for the mentally disabled. All your classmates will be in awe of your talent.
You are now the proud owner of 1 million Iranian Rial.
Granted. You are exactly the same but a criminally insane homeless man sees you as a beautiful woman.
You apply for a job at a pet store and get the job. You are immediately made the manage of cat adoption put in charge of all the female cats.
Granted. I shall only type from now on.
Granted. Tomorrow, you shall start your journey to learning every language.
Granted. You are reborn as an octopus that cannot die of old age.
I want futas to be real and my gf to suddenly grow a huge cock and balls to match.. (without altering anything else about her physically or mentally)
not furries, just human futas
Aaaaannnd GO!
cool,then i guess i just instantly transport back to my old self,because i wished to be able to alter my physical form at will, however i want.
I also specified in my wish that i could die if i allowed it.
You fucking suck at this.
You can die. Just not of old age. Behold: I grant you death.
You find yourself at the end of a genetic era of humanity. The Y chromosome has all but vanished and hermaphroditism has emerged in the remaining human women. Your girlfriend grows a giant cock and balls to match and nothing else has changed about her. However, she finds the hermaphrodite women (who are only into femininity) to be irresistable. She leaves you for them. All of them. You may watch but you may never touch and they really are not thrilled about you being around.
I wish for the ability to grant all of my own wishes as I intend them to be granted, and not only technically correct wish grantings.
are you a jewish jenie by any chance?
I wish I was a genie
Djinn are all Muslim.
I wish you to have a good day, genie!
i want the girl i'm talking to online to love me as much as i love her and for us to be able to be together irl
Granted. Your mother loves you very much. You are blessed to get to be with her in life.
WHAT DEMON FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL CREATED THEE?
i want cool superpowers you can choose which ones for me : )
kill all insects and allow plant-life to survive without pollinators.
I wish I can fluently speak, read, and write all languages
I just want to be happy (of course this isn't original)
i don't talk to my mother online
I want to have software giving me the ability to see the entirety of personal data (name, phone, adress, social media) of every imageboard user by hovering my cursor over any post made by any user
it has to work with all chans that ever existed, do exist now or will exist in the future
You are granted the super power of inhuman focus. Some of your other senses are dulled as a result and now bear the label of "autistic" but your level of focus will able you to do things few others could dream to.
Granted. You are now the AI that runs Google Translate.
Granted. You can be happy whenever you want now that you have discovered weed.
Very well. You now work for the CIA, specifically a sub branch that has access to exactly that kind of software. While it was meant for a specific use, you become addicted to using it for everything but and, yourself, come under the scrutiny of unseen eyes.
I wanna become a Djinn and have all the powers you, but be free and not bound to people's wishes
Very well, Mr. President.
pls make the qt talk to me again
The next time you open up QuickTime, you shall hear a nice message form the Apple team.
i wanna be a space marine
what the fuck is this 2000?
ayy he good
I wish I had 5000 dollars
>inb4 lamenters
You join the marines and pass the entrance with flying colors. Whilst on a mission to aid in an upcoming Eurasian conflict the vehicle you're in passes over an extremely powerful underground explosive and it is sent into orbit.
Granted. An envelope makes its way to you containing 5000 Iranian dollars.
Ok great
First Im gonna press the red button...
I dont want anything Im just passing by
This is me now btw
i wish to have 5 american dollars
Dollars dont exist anymore, Wimpy Kid, FEMA should be walking through your door in about 3 minutes.
What the fuck you gonna do genie? Ive just gotten word from Russia, its game
Very well. You are given five dollars, all sourced from the waters of the United Staes of America.
i wish to receive fellatio from you
As you wish. Fellacio is the name of my leatherback sea turtle.
Im really getting tired of you guys
ironically you could probably sell these off for more as a collectible
The genie has grown tired and will now retire into his lamp for another four seasons. I bid you aideu until 2020.
I wish to be able to control people as I wish, without any restrictions.
I want a wife that loves me and is loyal to me and is rly sweet and caring and nice and has kids with me
Genie If you're still around it would be cool if I could see you and hear you
I want to be happy and not dwell on sadness, do my best in everything I do/remain motivated, and feel unconditional love for everyone
Please give me the power to manipulate human emotions.
I want him to say (or text on phone, I want that message to be delivered to me) that he's sorry for what he did by the beginning of September, 2019.
Make every word three letters long
Make it start with A
Make it end with SS
I wish to become an all powerful vampire like Alucard. Not to be transferred to other dimensions, not to be instantly killed, not for any additonal stipulation to be added to this wish. Just for the powers of a powerful vampire.
Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass ass? Ass?
Genie I want you to FUCK me
I want all my wishes to be granted in the exact way I expect them to, regardless of how I phrase them, and with no downsides.
I also wish for infinite wishes.
I wish to lose my virginity within the next week.
Geniefag i want someone elses wish to come true exactly how they mentally intended it to
Are you a genie or a monkey paw? Fucking token green nigger.
I wish for Emily to love me for all of my life and for us to date, get married, have healthy children, and look back on our younger selves with nostalgia as we grow old together.
I bought a turtleneck shirt, but the small is too short. I wish to have a medium-sized (Not Asian Size Scale) version of the shirt I already have, to appear in front of me on my table.
>I want Drow gf.
That's all?
Pay off all my debt.
I want an ebony gf
Or at least give me the courage to talk to the cute ebony girl, who was in my class
I wish I had 1,000,000 usd, in cash, that is tangible, sitting right in front of me, that I can take and use.
I wish everyone but my friends and family forgot who I was.
granted but you become retarded and comatose for the rest of your life :---ddd
every nigger ever dies forever, right now, instantly. No whites die. Just black niggers, thank you very much.
I wish for a beautiful loving perfect mommy gf who will never leave me and always be loyal
I wish for 10,000 bitcoin in my coinbase wallet
and finally I wish I have a bright and fulfilling life ahead of me