Ask a therapist anything

It is possible. First, you have to identify exactly what the problems are in your life today, what consequences these traumas still cause for you. Then you can start healing that. A (good) therapist IRL would be ideal for this type of work.

You can list the issues related to that specific trauma if you want. Quiet thread today, I don't open this early normally.

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>1. I've had 0 luck finding a therapist, kinda feels like online dating all over again with the no responses. I've been looking on Psychology Today. How else should I look?
As in, there aren't any near you? If that's the case, you could consider online therapists, but I really think being there in person is important. One way to get to a therapist would be to ask your family doctor, or any doctor, as those should know where to redirect you. There has to be someone who can offer guidance.

>B. My workplace is currently really foggy and my radio is all staticky, what does this mean?
Is it the workplace or your own perception?

Scrumptious brownies!

i think i have ADHD but i went to a free therapist and she pretty much just ignored it and her advice hasn't worked for me

who should i go to to get a proper diagnosis and maybe medication because im fucking sick of my life at this point

When you are posting this actress, do you see her as in the third person or are you LARPing as her? I mean, you are appreciating her beauty and posting it more than you are trying to LARP, right?

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I still live at home where I have been physically and emotionally abused and neglected. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, and a PTSD-induced personality disorder. I have medication resistant depression. I eat every vitamin on the market, I eat every food group, I go out in nature, I talk to friends, I work out, I have hobbies, but I'm unemployed, my self esteem and confidence non-existent, and I'm just a shell of a person. I can motivate myself usually but after a some time I go back to square one where I don't want to live any more. It's like purgatory. All my functions are slowly becoming retarded and people can tell there is something wrong with me. I've failed every job interview. In happier times in my life I was an art prodigy, charming and gifted in interpersonal relationships, driven, confident, witty, intelligent but it has all fallen apart. Do you think I can ask for adderall? What else could I possibly do? This isn't me.

How do I stop smoking tobacco?
Not only it is bad for long term health issues but i have noticed that it increases my anxiety drastically, yet at the same time it is the only way i have found to cope with everyday stress.
Every time i try to stop i start having fantasies about smoking and how good it will make me feel, even though it actually doesn't. But it seems like the most pleasureful thing in life.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>As in, there aren't any near you?
As in they either have no appointments or they straight up did not respond to the message I left, and the others that came up in the search are way too far to drive during business hours
>One way to get to a therapist would be to ask your family doctor, or any doctor, as those should know where to redirect you
They've always written me off as someone that wants drugs for some reason unless I go to an emergency room. Not sure why cause that's never been the case and I dont visit a doctor enough for it to make sense

>Is it the workplace or your own perception?
Shit doc I-I dunno how do I tell?

How do I talk to my boyfriend about my suicidal thoughts? We've been dating for a year now, if that makes a difference

Question 2,
How do I tell my boyfriend about my BPD. It hasn't been acting up the whole time I've dated him, until now. Which is why I never told about about.

I also recently came out of an abusive relationship that worsened my previous condition. Sometimes I manage, sometimes any slight threat makes my heart beat out of my chest and my thoughts stop and it makes me physically ill and in pain from the bodily reaction. I can't think or act in a fluid manner. I'm constricted and retarded. People sense incongruous behavior and action and turn me down. My friend has to repeat the same story to me a hundred times for me to get anything through to my head, and I can't because I don't feel anything. I have no reaction what so ever to anything. I feel like I'm a lizard. Disconnected from everything.

>i think i have ADHD but i went to a free therapist and she pretty much just ignored it and her advice hasn't worked for me
Damn... What was her advice and what did she make of your suspicion of ADHD? Give me the symptoms and such, I might see something.

>who should i go to to get a proper diagnosis and maybe medication because im fucking sick of my life at this point
The first thing would be to see whether you have ADHD or some other condition that has overlapping symptoms (such as early trauma and related derealisation effects which can mess up your focus). ADHD specialists shouldn't be hard to find, just like bad therapists. Sometimes it's only a question of trying another one. Never stick with a bad therapist, they deserve to run out of business. I'm harsh but this is the truth.

I am not pretending I am her. She is for illustration, she stands for womanhood, an important part of a man's life, which needs to be recognised, accepted. I'd say the same for women about manhood. Humans are two-piece puzzles. The simplest and most complicate puzzle.

I do have an irl therapist. But she is unorthodox. She engages me more than past ones and challenges me, but I don't know if it's healthy that she acts so familiar. She said I was handsome and complex and interesting. Made me feel weird. It's probably unprofessional.

I had a mother who beat me, a perfectionist father who would call me an embarrassment, and a brother who raped me. I got my first gf last year and I hated it. I hated the attention. Even though before her I always wanted one. She was a virgin and kept asking for sex but I didn't feel comfortable. After I broke up with her, she would keep messaging me for a fwb deal. After her, I became really attached to this unattractive nerdy aspie girl I had nothing in common with. But I felt really safe around her. But then she chose someone uglier, shorter and weaker than me. I'm terrified of him, even though I could easily beat him up. I don't know why I'm like this.

I have issues with alcohol. 121 days sober. I only quit because the aspie girl did. I feel empty and I hate it. I regret starting with this therapist because it's the first time I spoke about the sexual abuse and it made me feel worse.

Are you still taking any medication? The symptoms you list might be from the medication rather than the psychological issues.

Same as for any addiction, find what it covers up. Daily anxiety is not normal, and there may be more to it than just the anxieties of the day. Finding the root of that might help soothe the need for tobacco. See it as self-soothing, which it is, and focus on the source of anxiety rather than the tobacco itself.

>Shit doc I-I dunno how do I tell?
Describe your perception.

>How do I talk to my boyfriend about my suicidal thoughts?
1. say you have something important to discuss with him (and that you're not breaking up)
2. take the time and comfort needed for that talk to take place
3. say it like it is

>How do I tell my boyfriend about my BPD. It hasn't been acting up the whole time I've dated him, until now. Which is why I never told about about.
Now's the time, then. Be as honest as you can. He can understand why you didn't want to mention this before. If your relationship is healthy, he will likely support you.

You might want to describe the "acting up" (to me).

Read about derealisation (wiki is fine); this is a reaction that comes after anxiety (or immediately after in some instances, such as traumatic events). Basically, your brain is worn down by worry, and to spare itself, your brain disconnects from certain areas, resulting in feeling a million miles away from reality. This seems to be what you are going through.

Fuck with another guy you filthy whore

I recently started wellbutrin and lamactil. I don't feel any different. Only difference is that I don't feel the depth and intensity of my negative emotions but I still feel them constantly and at an abnormal amount of intensity. Before I started medication it was all the same as I began it. I tried about 10 antidepressants now.

>Describe your perception.
I took pic related before it got heavy and I got scared to roll down my window
Pretty much this but closer
Forgive the square light it's on high zoom since the battery is dying

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>You might want to describe the "acting up" (to me)
Overanlyzing his behaviors. Like for the last couple of nights he forgot to say "goodnight" to me even though he's done so nearly every night. Which caused me to have extreme anxiety that he hates me and wants to break up, despite there not being any other proof.

I've been splitting on my friends recently. For example, my friend said something that I precieved as rude and I was convinced that I hated them until I started to talk to another friend about it and realized during my rant that I was kinda being crazy

I've been a lot more clingy recently too

Also, realize it sounds kinda tame compared to typical bpd. I was diagnosed with it when I was 18 but have had therapy for it for a few years which is why it mellowed out. Haven't been to therapy in like more than a year now though

>She said I was handsome and complex and interesting. Made me feel weird. It's probably unprofessional.
Not necessarily. She is probably correct, and a therapist is there to give you an unbiased look at yourself, which is most likely what she was doing. Your reaction is more extreme than it would be in a more balanced person, but that's exactly the point of her saying those things. They don't mean that she is trying to seduce you.

>I regret starting with this therapist because it's the first time I spoke about the sexual abuse and it made me feel worse.
Expect some things to feel worse before they heal. This is normal, don't worry about it. Your sense of shame is immense and covers a lot of ground, that's all.

With a past like yours, it was impossible for you to develop normally, in a healthy way, so keep that in mind: it isn't your fault. You were bound to face these issues, and you are facing them bravely, also keep that in mind.

What you must do now is raise your standards (especially in relationships), and find someone who feels meaningful. You must also value yourself enough that you can feel worthy of a worthy person's love (and this is the hard part).

You seem rather resourceful despite massive traumas, be optimistic! You are doing a lot better than you think, and it is a harder battle than you know. Be proud, you're a literal warrior and you are winning.

u are not fit to be a therapist

I would give up on medication. Some issues are not solved by medication, and they are only efficient in extreme cases, and mostly to ease them a bit, but otherwise, they don't solve anything, as it's not merely a chemical imbalance problem.

Everything you do seems great, and more efficient than the medication. Consider quitting meds, with your doctor, and see how things evolve.

How can i cure my internet addiction?

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All right, then yeah, it seems to be real. I thought you worked in an office. It's probably just mist and the radio is staticky because you're far away from any antenna that broadcasts.

>Overanlyzing his behaviors. Like for the last couple of nights he forgot to say "goodnight" to me even though he's done so nearly every night. Which caused me to have extreme anxiety that he hates me and wants to break up, despite there not being any other proof.
OK, it would be good to explain to him what actually happens when this happens, just so he doesn't interpret it the "normal" way. Explain what it makes you feel, and also that you realise it's not rational, but that you can't help it.

>I've been splitting on my friends recently. For example, my friend said something that I precieved as rude and I was convinced that I hated them until I started to talk to another friend about it and realized during my rant that I was kinda being crazy
The great thing about this is that you are aware and actually looking to understand; both are promising traits.

>I've been a lot more clingy recently too
Likely happens when you're under more stress. I think you'll be fine, you aren't doing anything extreme. I'm not even sure this would get you an official BPD diagnosis (it's a spectrum, never get stuck on a diagnosis, that never defines you, only a condition).

I work in a haunted paintball park as the only security guard/employee in general on the property
It's pretty spooky honestly
I wish I had an office
I also wish I didnt have to get out of my car and unlock/relock the gates soon

Try a positive approach, as in, don't think "How do I do less Internet?" but "What else can do I?" and focus on that.

Also, "Internet" is a broad term, it will depend on what you do online.

Spoopy indeed.

can you tell me why I visit this board when 99% of the time I feel worse for reading the things posted here? is it a form of self harm?

Thanks
And yeah, I got the diagnoses when I was younger. It was a lot more stereotypical bpd back then but I had therapy and grew from it. It's just spooky because I noticed some of my feelings I had from back then starting to creep up and I'm scared I'll end up being like how I was back then. And ruin all my relationships lol

Mainly attention and executive dysfunction problems. I'm in college and it's hell because i can rarely pay attention to lectures because i start thinking about the most random shit halfway through.
Starting tasks is probably my biggest problem. The other i pulled an all-nighter simply because i couldn't start writing a 1 page review. And that has happened countless times before.
My mom, as expected, thought it was because i used my computer/phone too much but when I try not using them i find other ways to waste my time. I often spend hours just walking in my backyard talking to myself instead of working on anything else.
I tried setting some goals for my summer break but i pretty much failed on all of them. Even when it comes to leisure activities i procrastinate like crazy and waste entire days doing nothing besides mindlessly daydreaming.
My therapist said she couldn't make a proper diagnosis for adult ADD so she told me to go to an specialist but i just wanna make sure that i'll get actual help if i do it. Should I go to an psychiatrist?
She basically told me to focus on short term goals and then tackle down medium-term goals but even those are super hard for me to achieve.
She also advised setting up reminders but that didnt really worked either because eventually i just started ignoring them.

How do I get over my EXTREME HATRED of girls?

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How do I "stop caring about what other people think"/get over my severe fear of being judged? It's the root of my social anxiety issues. People tell me that everyone is a normal person like I am, but I'm unable to apply that idea to myself. I feel like an alien because of my personality, I don't understand people, I can't relate to anyone. Everyone is like a black box to me and that frightens me.

>be me
>have probably some form of social anxiety
>feel nervous, tense and shaky when i'm around people who i don't know
>the anxiety goes away if i start talking to them
>unless it is a formal conversation, such as being with a potential employer or doctor
>but it's not like i like i can initiate a conversation with random people on public transportation so i still like shit when using it or when i walk around the street
Wtf is wrong with me, why does my anxiety goes away when i can shit talk with people?

Your pic related is ugly and you will stop hating them once you get sex

>can you tell me why I visit this board when 99% of the time I feel worse for reading the things posted here? is it a form of self harm?
Insightful. Many here are negative beyond reason, and may remind you of yourself, or not, but what's for sure is that this place will not give you hope. It's a concentration of people with similar issues, which gives the devastating effect that what people say seems real. That's the real danger of such places.

I don't know if it's self-harm, or the desperate need for social contact in safe way (which is why people use Jow Forums in my opinion: no matter how tough anons try to act, in the end, they're conly compensating for the hugbox and safe space it actually is: no consequence for any behaviour, no need to worry about anything, as you're just an user and everything will be forgotten). Anons realise that, and those who feel bad about it try to counter it with acting tough. The tougher the act, the softer the pussy.

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>social contact in safe way
Expressing any honest and reasonable opinions irl could lead you to be socially ostracized or even getting in jail.
There is nothing that normie hates more than the one who dares to say the truth.

Any advice or words of encouragement for starting a webstore?

>And yeah, I got the diagnoses when I was younger.
Younger diagnoses are to be considered carefully, with BPD, as most of the symptoms have to do with undevelopped emotional maturity, which is obviously a problem when diagnosing BPD at a younger age.

>I'm scared I'll end up being like how I was back then. And ruin all my relationships lol
Trust that you aren't the same anymore, you have grown and learned. You're handling this very well. I am optimistic.

wrong. what kind of therapist are you

I myself share much of that. One therapist told me that it wasn't ADHD, but most likely derealisation-related effects from childhood trauma. It doesn't have to be sexual, emotional abuse can do more damage (and in truth, the damage done in sexual abuse is emotional, beyond any physical damage; emotional/psychological is where it hurts the most). See if you can find possible sources for this.

A few tips for procrastination:

1. make a list of goals you are certain you can reach in one session
2. start as soon as possible, even if you don't complete the task, just to get started and see what it's like; I often choose to spend literally between 2 and 5 minutes on a task I don't want to do, because I know those minutes will change my perspective; more often than not, once my 5 minutes are done, I find myself continuing because it no longer scares me and I want to get shit done by then
3. remove sources of diversion beforehand
4. avoid overpreparing as it's a source of procrastination
5. imagine the consequences of not doing what you must (optional tip as I dislike it myself: fear doesn't motivate me at all)

You realise that it isn't actually women that you hate. It's how they make you feel/think; you only need to find out why, and have the strength to accept the truth.

It usually goes something like this:
>find intense need for women
>find women may not want me
>extreme vulnerability
>need to counter this vulnerability
>try to deny women their importance to me
>by trying to downplay them and devalue them
>put the focus on women, not my vulnerability to them

The key is to be strong in weakness, by accepting your vulnerability, as it isn't your fault, nor that of women.

Hope that helps.

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>How do I "stop caring about what other people think"/get over my severe fear of being judged?
Literally this: Acquire currency and disregard bitches. In other words, do your own thing and invest in that, emotionally and otherwise.

>People tell me that everyone is a normal person like I am
Untrue, and bad advice. Generalising rarely goes well.

>Everyone is like a black box to me and that frightens me.
Do you struggle to understand people?

>Wtf is wrong with me, why does my anxiety goes away when i can shit talk with people?
Humans need humans as much as they need food or water. It's an essential need. We tend to forget that because we no longer live in the conditions we have evolved for (without promoting paleo-diets and other nonsense like that). In the Stone Age, the age we evolved for, strength in number was no joke. It still isn't, but we made ourselves societies in which we "can" live isolated. Thus, we miss that company is a primary need. You may not die without others, as you would without water, but you will go mad and might die of depression eventually.

You are, quite simply, a social person, like any healthy person is. That is actually great news. Even your social anxiety is more socially able than you realise. Babies start developing "fear of strangers" past a certain point in their development, meaning, this happens when they are more developed, not before. If you are highly tuned socially, it's no wonder strangers will have quite the impact on you; it's also why, I think, it quickly goes away when you talk with them, because you quickly get to know someone, again demonstrating high social skills.

Basically, it's all good my nigga.

Pic-related.

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>There is nothing that normie hates more than the one who dares to say the truth.
What people dislike isn't the truth, it's how you say what you want to say and why. If properly done, and respectfully done, you can say anything to anyone.

Sounds like a good idea. If you're thinking about it, you probably have reasons to think it could work, so do it!

pretty sure it's not childhood trauma since i dont remember having suffered any form of abuse when i was young, and if i did then my brain did a damn good job at hiding it

might try those tips if i dont forget about them tomorrow
removing possible distractions is very hard since i have to use my phone and computer a lot for college. whenever shit gets too stressful i usually resort to coldturkeying and deleting apps/blocking websites that distract me

any tips for concentrating?

Ever since I can remember I've never had a "dream", something to strive for.
I've always just drifted through life following others and doing what I'm told (very lazily mind you).
Do you think there's some underlying mental disorder or is it just the way I am?
If I had to pick the most traumatic experiences in my life then they would be:
-seeing my parents have sex at a very early age (like 4 or 5);
-seeing my parents fighting (nothing violent thankfully) and their eventual divorce
-my dog getting ran over 2 times and dying (could've prevented it so I feel a bit guilty).

>pretty sure it's not childhood trauma since i dont remember having suffered any form of abuse when i was young, and if i did then my brain did a damn good job at hiding it
You'd be amazed. This happens a lot because a child has no perspective on parenting and by the time you get a clue on it, you're an adult and those things are far away, and not necessarily remembered. Also, people have a tendency to apply different standards when it's about them: "I would never ever slap a child who's 5, but I was slapped when I was 5 and I don't think it's anything that special." That sort of cognitive dissonance.

>might try those tips if i dont forget about them tomorrow
Look up online for tips against procrastination, you will find the same thing over and over.

>any tips for concentrating?
Fun. If something is a bore, I can't focus. Try to find the fun in anything you do, as this will anchor you more than any other efforts you could make.

These types of threads are always comfy. I remember there being a general on Jow Forums run by a guy that did this sort of stuff.

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>Acquire currency and disregard bitches.
I have. I have a pretty great life outside of being socially stunted. It's my only saving grace. I used to be extremely socially anxious and a completely dysfunctional human being incapable of even talking to strangers, and my successes have kinda half-cured me but I still have issues.
>Untrue, and bad advice. Generalising rarely goes well.
I thought the exact same thing about that.
>Do you struggle to understand people?
Yes. I don't understand anyone and no one in my life understands me. I was hated and bullied in elementary school for being reclusive, and that just made me retreat into a shell for the next 12 years that I've never properly broken out of. I don't think I deserved any of it. I don't understand why they did it to me and it terrifies me that evil, judgmental people like that roam the world as adults today and they're everywhere.

1. I don't know how to reconcile the fact that I don't get much physical attention outside of relationships with the fact that my long-term relationships have been almost entirely physically/sexually focused.
--1a. I make people miserable in the long term. Both intimate and non-intimate relationships. If you've seen True Detective, and I know this sounds cheesy or cliche, I relate a lot to Rust just because all of his relationships are unstable or toxic in the long term.

2. Diagnosed bipolar at 27 last December, I don't know how to deal with problems with impulse control (especially food as both reward and pacification), hypersexuality, and general reliability (staying employed). Quetiapine and Escitalopram didn't help, just made me sleep too much. Can't afford to experiment with different medications in terms of time but especially money.
--2a. Little structure growing up, controlling but also hands off parents (like unsupervised recess in a tiny playground). Sister bullied me a lot, especially about my weight. The main relevance now is that I don't know how to separate those things from the bipolar to know what's what and how to address it.
----2aa. Feel like mentioning I was vocally suicidal at 13 is related to the previous statement

3. Raised as a special, gifted boy. I don't know if I am anymore. But I avoid trying anything new, at least partly for fear of failure. The idea that I might be an above average clump of genes is about the only thing I have going for me.
--3a. I hate that I typed all this, I hate that I formatted it like a pompous prick. I don't apply for jobs a highschool kid couldn't get, and the only reason I'm posting this is because I hope when I update the thread I'll see a post from you saying you're gone so you won't waste your time on this. I even took the time to find the oldest picture in my Reaction images folder to increase the chance. Hope you like/don't see it.

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Reminder that therapists don't help you figure out anything you couldn't just as easily figure out on your own.

How does it happen in your view that men who are attractive and have easy access to pussy still end up having a low or negative opinion if not even hatred of women.

>deleted
I hope OP didn't get banned for avatar signatures

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>Acquire currency
Money is useless cope/distraction, only the most pathetic subhumans obsess over it. The more you own the more you are owned.

>Do you think there's some underlying mental disorder or is it just the way I am?
You have perhaps been raised to obey and follow, and not be trained to have your own wishes and desires and intiatives.

>seeing my parents have sex at a very early age (like 4 or 5);
At that age, with no real understanding of what sex is, this is indeed traumatic. It'd still be at an older age, nobody wants to see that.

>seeing my parents fighting (nothing violent thankfully) and their eventual divorce
It doesn't need to be violent to be traumatising. A child's life depends on his parents, seeing them argue is a literal threat to their little lives, hence major trauma from what some may think is a detail. Human children depend on adults to survive, in the Stone Age and today, and this is a visceral thing for them.

>my dog getting ran over 2 times and dying (could've prevented it so I feel a bit guilty).
If you could have prevented it, you would have. So you couldn't have prevented it and need to accept it and remove the guilt. You loved your dog and would have done anything to save him/her. It isn't your fault. Release.

(And now someone reported me for "avatars or signatures", which is incredibly foolish on a board that allows trips.)

Apologies for the delay. My patience is very short with this stuff.

Very cute image. I'm glad I'm not the only person to do such things.

Why am I such a racist?

>my successes have kinda half-cured me but I still have issues.
It will only get better from now on. You've done the hardest.

>I thought the exact same thing about that.
You were right. Trust your instincts.

>I was hated and bullied in elementary school for being reclusive,
One thing introverted/ill-socialised people fail to understand (as I did) is this: if you try to make yourself small and take as little room as possible and try hard not to bother anybody (which you do as a positive things towards them, having bad self-worth), their reaction will actually be this: they will think you consider them too shit to interact with them. And since you don't function under the belief that you are worthy and others consider you worthy as well, you completely miss this fact. So, people feel attacked, and they react to that. It's absolutely tragic, but that's the mechanism of it.

On your end, you don't understand why people you did your best not to bother eventually attack you, and come to think the world is full of assholes and injustice. You don't realise you were the one to attack first, without knowing, because people didn't raise you with the right beliefs.

>Raised as a special, gifted boy.
You most likely are.

>I hate that I typed all this, I hate that I formatted it like a pompous prick.
It's not pompous, it's clearly structured the way it is in your gifted mind, but you are also aware that most others would see it as too pompous and beyond their own standards (you still thought it was fine, for yourself, because you did it this way, as you should). This only shows that you are very structured in your thinking patterns and that you understand how others perceive things differently from you. It's all good.

>a post from you saying you're gone so you won't waste your time on this.
Sorry to disappoint. But not sorry.

Your condition is a mix of high IQ and highly traumatising events, quite a mix. Your high emotionality may be due to your general high potential more than being bipolar, if you are at all (normal bipolar has cycles that last for weeks and aren't even-related, which I surmise isn't your case).

Now use your superior brains to read pic-related and reparent yourself. Nature has got your back, and so have I.

youtu.be/_9NXOFO1LFs

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>Reminder that therapists don't help you figure out anything you couldn't just as easily figure out on your own.
These threads continuously show that people can't just figure it out themselves, and not only because it requires a very long process in education, but also because you don't have an outside's point of view on your own life. It often takes an outsider to see the obvious that you can't see from your own point of view. The brain is exceedingly good at automatising things to make life smoother and faster, and this includes abnormal things in your own life. Mental blind spots are real.

Even therapists have their own therapists specifically for that reason. Even knowing the material isn't enough, and God knows there is a tonload to learn.

>Basically, it's all good my nigga.
Well, but isn't it really weird to have intense anxiety including shaking, sweating, difficulty in swallowing saliva, just because you are looked at by strangers or figures of "authority"?

>How does it happen in your view that men who are attractive and have easy access to pussy still end up having a low or negative opinion if not even hatred of women.
I don't know how valid this statement is. A negative opinion of women in general is usually a projection, same as for racism or other. If a man genuinely believed that women were inferior, his normal reaction wouldn't be hatred, but protection and help. If you see a puppy, you know the puppy is weaker, dumber, and inferior to you in every way, yet your reaction isn't to hate it for any of that. As Nietzsche wrote, I think, you never hate someone who can do you no harm.

>if you try to make yourself small and take as little room as possible and try hard not to bother anybody (which you do as a positive things towards them, having bad self-worth), their reaction will actually be this: they will think you consider them too shit to interact with them. And since you don't function under the belief that you are worthy and others consider you worthy as well, you completely miss this fact.
Does this apply to adults too? Do many adults think this way? The thing is that I personally haven't changed much since I was a kid. I've done a lot of self-improvement, I'm a different person outwardly because I look so different now (I lost weight and all), but deep down I'm still that same old wacky strange kid. I don't really believe in the concept of "growing up." So because I don't comprehend other people's thinking and thus don't know if they've changed more than I have, I'm constantly afraid that they're going to react unreasonably and irrationally when I interact with them, because that's what I've seen so many people do when I was a kid.
I also live in Europe in a country where people are much more withdrawn than in America. I don't get any practice interacting with relative strangers. Nobody bothers to appear friendly, randomly smiling absolutely isn't a thing, neither is smalltalk with people you don't know (I've been initiated on with smalltalk maybe once or twice in my entire life). It's that much harder to interact with people when I don't even get to see a welcoming facade. Would you have any advice for that, please?

Thank you for talking to me about this, by the way. I appreciate it very much.

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I got banned for a short 15 minutes or so. It was a warning. It makes very little sense as I use a tripcode, which is literally a signature, and it's allowed on this board, but using pictures to make my post come out more easily, that's not allowed.

My presence is not appreciated by everyone here, and that is just the beginning of this.

>Money is useless cope/distraction, only the most pathetic subhumans obsess over it. The more you own the more you are owned.
Of course, when I said "currency", I didn't mean money alone. I meant getting by in general. I used the meme to signify "getting what you want, doing your own thing" and etc.

You aren't wrong in that money/workaholism can be a distraction to avoid facing the real issues, you are wrong in that pathetic humans indulge in it, though. These are coping mechanisms, not shit-personality defining traits.

>they will think you consider them too shit to interact with
But one can easily detect the difference between shyness and snobbery.

You are insecure and you essentialise people. It's curable. We can try.

>Well, but isn't it really weird to have intense anxiety including shaking, sweating, difficulty in swallowing saliva, just because you are looked at by strangers or figures of "authority"?
Not too weird, no. You are under stress when this happens. It will only get better with time and practice. Build yourself up as a person and don't use your self-doubt to destroy yourself, but only to improve yourself. Remember that apparent confidence, in others, often stand for lack of analytical abilities. Great analytical abilities often mean that you can doubt yourself to death where others would calmly not care.

See Impostor's Syndrome for more.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

>My presence is not appreciated by everyone here.
Yeah... like with previous iterations of these types of threads, it brings out a lot of people out for blood. Expect your posts to be reported for the smallest infractions. You probably should mind rules rarely enforced such as getting past the robot as people will use that to get you banned.

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>Does this apply to adults too? Do many adults think this way?
Yes, though adults who are clever enough might realise what is really going on. Most will not think of it and some would not care if they could think of it. Just keep it in mind. Your defense might appear to be an attack to others.

"What, am I not worthy of being talked to and smiled to? What have I done to this person to deserve this treatment?"

In a world where it is normal and expected to be social, not being social is an important attack. This is why self-esteem matters a lot.

>I'm constantly afraid that they're going to react unreasonably and irrationally when I interact with them, because that's what I've seen so many people do when I was a kid.
You must unlearn what you have learned. It takes time. Realise that others aren't what you're used to, and most will welcome you behaving differently. There is a chance that you are "immature" in the sense of socialising, but that will change.

>I also live in Europe in a country where people are much more withdrawn than in America.
So do I. You are correct in that Americans are a lot more friendly with strangers than Europeans, though it varies across European nations.

>Would you have any advice for that, please?
Even when people are mostly cold and closed, I still behave the way I feel is right, so I'll still offer gentle smiles to cashiers and waiters who seem to have a sewn butthole as a moral compass for general behaviour. I recommend you do what you feel is right and own it.

>Thank you for talking to me about this, by the way. I appreciate it very much.
The honor is all mine.

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So you have never observed men that fuck around a lot that talk in a negative way about women "they are all whores, pump and dump, etc."
>If you see a puppy, you know the puppy is weaker, dumber, and inferior
You can see that a bug is inferior to you and possibly harmless though at the same time feel disgusted by it and hating it.
It is very common for psychopaths and narcissists to view their victims as weak and inferior in every way and thus deserving of hatred and exploitation, exactly because they are inferior.

>You have perhaps been raised to obey and follow, and not be trained to have your own wishes and desires and intiatives.
I've tried introspecting before and I've either come up empty or with idealized versions of professions and what not that are never going to match up with reality, not to mention that I'd probably get tired of even my most dreamed job eventually.
The only thing I can confidently say that I desire is to stop existing eternally because everything related to life just feels like such a bother.

>But one can easily detect the difference between shyness and snobbery.
You can, because you know of both, but trust me, it is not that obvious to others. Shy people appear defensive more than "shy", especially if they're accustomed to being attacked (either by parents or classmates), and when someone is defensive (as in "ready to be attacked"), it makes others feel like there's real tension around and maybe a fight incoming. It's not the "cute shy" at all, which is different, it's the absence of smiling, the avoidance of eye contact, etc. It gives an aura of fear, and others pick up on that, and sometimes actually attack (especially younger kids, but adults will do it in their own way, often by just avoiding the person altogether: "If he doesn't care about us, then we won't care either.").

Is it immoral to run a red light under the following conditions?
>2AM, tired as fuck, falling asleep
>no cars on the road anywhere, havent seen any since you pulled up
>been there for literally 5 minutes
I got into an argument with someone about it last night and I really can't tell if I'm missing a valid reason beyond "it's the law"

Would you say masochism, and the practice of it particularly in the context of BDSM, is unhealthy? In particular I'm curious about your thoughts on bloodplay

>Yeah... like with previous iterations of these types of threads, it brings out a lot of people out for blood. Expect your posts to be reported for the smallest infractions. You probably should mind rules rarely enforced such as getting past the robot as people will use that to get you banned.
I've been warned in previous threads, but I'm notoriously stubborn. No more Elizabeth posting I suppose.

The resistance is real.

>So you have never observed men that fuck around a lot that talk in a negative way about women "they are all whores, pump and dump, etc."
Yes, but this can also come from incels, so I imagine the attitude comes before the deeds. Some men want to confirm that "all women are whores" by actively going after certain women. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it isn't difficult to treat people in such a way as to make them fit what you wanted. It also is a way to justify one's own shit behaviour: "It's not that I'm an asshole who mistreats women, it's that they are whores and they deserve it."

Bad faith is monumental.

>You can see that a bug is inferior to you and possibly harmless though at the same time feel disgusted by it and hating it.
Only because you do think it may be a threat. I hate maggots and kill them on sight, but that reaction doesn't come out of nowhere. We've most likely evolved with a lot of parasites who were dangerous to us, and thus a threat. They still register as threats to us, like snakes, worms, most bugs, etc. If they were just cute little things, we would react very differently.

>It is very common for psychopaths and narcissists to view their victims as weak and inferior in every way and thus deserving of hatred and exploitation, exactly because they are inferior.
This is usually an excuse and it works in their mindset of "life is a game to be won, I'm just a player like everyone else". Psychopaths also can't have a good opinion of anyone because of their condition, so they often project their own self-loathing on others and justify their own behaviour that way.

Sounds like depression, inability to enjoy things, inability to project yourself into a bright future.

What are things you enjoy doing as interests/hobbies?

Not really. Just be careful there's no motorcycles trying to break a land speed record.

I ride a cg125 that is often too light to be detected by the road pressure plates that change the lights. Really annoying and often at night I just check and go. I can explain my reasoning and prove it if I get caught. Running reds at night is very very normal.

See Kohlberg's morality stages. You might just be more advanced.

If you are 100% confident there's no other car around, then it is moral, as nothing bad happens from it.

In my country, you'd never do that, because every red light has a radar and camera that takes a picture of your plate as you run a red light and you'll get fined 200 bucks or more depending on your speed and how long the red light had been red when you ran it, but these aren't moral considerations.

Your someone must have been thinking in terms of "let's not take unncessary risks", on which I agree with her, but not knowing the exact situation, I can't give my own opinion. The law is here to help us, not annoy us.

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>Would you say masochism, and the practice of it particularly in the context of BDSM, is unhealthy? In particular I'm curious about your thoughts on bloodplay
Anything done safely and respectfully should be fine, but in my experience, that type of stuff originates in unhealthy experiences, so I struggle in having a good opinion of them. It's hard to say with sexuality, as the line between healthy and pathological is not clear. In doubt, look at the consequences: if it just makes you happy and nothing negative comes of it, then it should be fine. Be very careful however, with infections and such, especially if blood mingles.

got a few questions. first off, how do i find a therapist that can help me? as in how will i know if they're suited to me or if they'll turn me into a worse nutcase?
another is how do i know if i should be seeking a therapist rather than a psychiatrist who can write prescriptions? i've been prescribed meds for depression off and on since my early teens but they don't seem to help. i wonder if my depression is more(or less?) than what your standard ssri meds are good for. and another is how to remove oneitis? inb4 plenty of fish in the sea

I have no direction in life and can't bring myself to work even though I enjoy it well enough when I have a job. Job hunting is just the worst shit. I'm happy NEET but I need to change. I'm pretty immune to social pressure/being a loser.

I have lots of active hobbies that I put alot of effort into so I don't come across as lazy I just really can't bring myself to care about the real things in life.

is it normal for a male to be virgin at the age of 21?

>Some men want to confirm that
It is the result of observation and direct experiences.

I like playing videogames to kill time and I love music I can relate to, these are about the only two things I can say that I've always consistently enjoyed throughout life.
I tried playing piano a few years ago, it lasted two years and I enjoyed it but, as with most other things I've tried, I grew tired of it and stopped.

>got a few questions. first off, how do i find a therapist that can help me? as in how will i know if they're suited to me or if they'll turn me into a worse nutcase?
Therapy isn't neurosurgery, it's highly unlikely that a therapist will make things worse. It may not work, they might be a bad therapist, but they won't mess you up.

>as in how will i know if they're suited to me
Tell me what issues you want to fix.

>how do i know if i should be seeking a therapist rather than a psychiatrist who can write prescriptions?
Technically, a psychiatrist is a therapist; psychotherapists either come from psychiatry or psychology; they have the same postgraduate training but different background studies (may vary depending on country). If your issues deal with problems that are solved/helped by medication, you'll need a psychiatrist, but psychologists/psychotherapists often work with psychiatrists, so you could get prescriptions from a psychiatrist while doing therapy with a psychologist in the same office.

>i've been prescribed meds for depression off and on since my early teens but they don't seem to help
Then drop it. Medication is most useful for schizophrenia and other conditions of that type, but depression doesn't seem to be much helped by medication.

>another is how to remove oneitis?
Realise that what you feel is less related to the person than what they mean to you (and what those issues actually are; see attachment styles and parenting styles).

>I have lots of active hobbies
Could you find a job that is related to any of these hobbies?

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Since women are attracted to dark triad personality traits, how does one become a narcissistic machiavellian psychopath or at least emulate those traits?