At what age did u realize u werent like the other kids in the playground?

since birth. i knew i was smarter than most kids and had a persistence/willpower that could beat the regular normie in anything objective. However, im emotionally void and dont care about people enough to make lasting relationships/friendships. im very much a robot

At age 7 when I was the new kid in class and the teacher sat me at a separate table away from all the other kids

>tfw to smart in utero
>huge head breaks mother's pelvis on the way out

Around kindergarten. I was a clown but that's all I was. 22 now .....honk honk

When I was in the 4th grade probably 9. I would climb the playground and pretend I was climbing a mountain with my imaginary friends. We were looking for Pokemon I made up. All the other kids had Pokemon cards or played tag. I coulndnt afford the cards and was too slow to play tag; they always cought me and I would never catch anyone so they stopped asking me to play.

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>Age 6
>This guy sneezes on my face
>Tells everyone while laughing, they all laugh at me
>Throw a tantrum
>Teacher calms me down but no one gets in trouble

when the other children were playing tetherball i was already injecting crystal meth into my scrotum and fantasizing about chopping my cock off. indeed, i was the proto-millenial

I started to realize when I hit puberty just about. I was always the big bad "mysterious" weirdo that you only ask for help on certain topics because he knows copiously much about them but otherwise just politely ignore

2nd grade. When most of my friends stopped wanting to play with me and kids would tease me for little short i can't even remember, but it was like a thousand little knives each time and it didn't stop til the end of high school.
>Be 7 years old
>Want to talk to kids about Legos and Star Wars
>Everybody keeps running away from me, cause I'm "weird"
>Be 8
>Kids on the school playing some dumb imaginary game where everyone one has superpowers(candy themed for some reason)
>I have this great OC idea for myself, a dude who can fashion anything he wants out of licorice, like making a wingsuit or a whip or grappling hook
>Excitedly tell the other kids my idea
>"Go away user, we don't want you to play with us"
Kids are so fucking cruel man. All of this dumb stuff has repercussions that fucked me up and made me the bitter robot I am today. All the adults knew me as a "sweet kid" who wouldn't hurt a fly, so of course that just made me vulnerable. I just couldn't understand why those little shits would be so mean and terrible to me.

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I remember I actually had friends up until about 7th grade. From there, I changed schools and any social life I had died. Now I'm 25 and it hasn't gotten any better.

>Playground had benches
>only the 1 or 2 kids that really enjoyed reading would sit at them and read their books during recess
>I sat at a bench alone and watched the other kids play because I had no friends
Why did you have to remind me user that was so many years ago it hurts so much

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As early as I could remember. I sucked at handball, and was too fat and slow to be good for a hide and go seek team mate. Hard to have friends when you're the least desirable team mate for the usual playground games.

In 5th grade I was outcasted by everyone, and from then I either tended to be a loner or desperately cling to the few friends I did make.

Right from the start, desu. I didn't have the urge to be loud like other kids, and preferred to look at pictures in books (this was before I could read).

It was around 3rd or 4th grade. I was so SLOW compared to the other kids. Playing tag, every other kid could easily run away from me, with almost no effort. It was because Helene fucked up my abdominal musculature with her anal thermometer. I was also pudgy, but that doesn't account for my speed being a literal order of magnitude removed from every other kid. I was also taller and bigger than the other kids, and being taller should have given me some speed advantage to offset the chubbiness. However, it couldn't offset my entire core muscular chain being destroyed by my mother the child rapist. Playing tag wasn't even a game with me. As soon as I was it, the game was over because I wasn't catching anyone.

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i guess kindergarden. i don't think i spoke to a single person there during the entire time i was in it. primary school was hell. not only i didn't have friends, other kids would constantly harass me, treat me like shit and beat me up viciously. then I moved from my small town to another country. at least people here are not such bastards, and left me alone

No one replied to your post but I wanted you to know that I read your post and thought it was much sadder than the others. Sorry

You've sort of got the question backwards. The idea that I was, or even could be, like the other kids didn't initially occur to me.

I always new I was alpha as fuck fighting the Africans and Mexicans.

I was 7, i think

Actually kinda metal. Did witnessing this unlock any cool powers?

In short, I started out as a slightly different kid and became a total outcast.

pretty much since I went to school, back then in elementary school I was just a bit different bearly having friends.

It escalated with time, in middle school I was already very weird (got actual clinical depression) and somewhere around the enrollment of high school, I became even weirder.

In high school, it seems like I reached my final phase being A COMPLETELY friendless gamer/weeb/exessive masterbator/socially anxious(actually got diagnosed) /khhv looser.

Living hurt and I want to fucking die, the only thing keeping me from ending it is I the fear of pain on impact with the ground.

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when i was ten and wanted to die every day

I didn't have that level of self-awareness until midway through college.

i'll tell you how I know I'm fucked up

>be me
>already know of sex at very young age
>how? Not sure.
>basically just knew that I wanted to see boobies
>like 7 years old
>my moms friend has a daughter who's 6
>we play a lot
>idea.jpg
>tell her I'll show her my chest if she shows hers to me
>foolish wench doesn't know that a man's chest isn't special
>she goes for it
>what? Impossible. Looks just like mine.
>i am great disappoint
>time passes
>be 26
>eventually look back on this and realize I'm a sexual deviant since childhood
>explains my porn addiction
>feel terrible about it
>oh well just another check box in my world of sin
>on tinder
>match with girl
>it's the girl I knew as kids
>we hit it off
>go out a few times
>eventually get a hotel room together
>i fuck her brains out
>luckily she has big old tiddies now
>first thought after I finish and she's lying there cuddling me
>"finally finished what I started"
>ghost her

Why am I like this?

I mean I guess I'm a bit taller than them but they dont hold it against me much, they think it's cool I can reach the monkey bars without leaving the ground

Holy shit, this.

When I was in 4th grade, everyone either played Pokemon or basketball, and my best friend would ditch me to play one of those. We had break for two whole hours one day, and I'm sure you know that two hours when you're an adult is the same as like 30 minutes when you're 9 years old, so it seemed like it lasted a long time of me just sitting there bored, no phone or video game since this was 2011 and the school wouldn't let the poor kids have jack shit while the preppy kids would be allowed to whip out their iPhone in class. Anyways, I sat on a window ledge all day long and a teacher came up to me with two preppy girls and asked me why I'm sitting so far away from the playground. I didn't want to tell them my best friend dumped me and I had no friends at all, so I just began crying. The two girls looked at me with a mix of disgust and pity, while the teacher took me inside and treated me like a retard, and took me to the autism room where there were computers. I remember going on Google Earth and telling the autism teacher useless facts about Quebec, then I went back to the classroom. Apparently, the teacher had told my actual teacher I was caught crying on the playground, so my "best friend" told me everyone knew, but I don't remember if they think I got hurt or what.

Also:
>brought a toy turtle to school in a bag and a bitchy girl took it and gave it to the pokemon fags who then made fun of me
>a kid would bait me to say swear words then he'd tell the teacher
>a kid would tell on me to the teacher for making boobs with bingo chips so i cried for five minutes
>a kid would try to fight me for using his ball, which i thought was the school's, but he was a dick about it
>that kid who would always say "stop trying to be funny" and "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY" when i laughed in class
>when i went up to my basketball player "friend" and said "NEGRO CHICKEN" and he looked at me and said "you're so annoying"
Pic related: Chowder was the shit back then.

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I can't remember anything from my past, I wouldn't be surprised if I Just appeared out of thin air one day

Unironically this. I wasn't raised normally and eventually (about first grade) I got self aware enough to realise I would never be with the other kids, nor' could I ever expect to be

Related to pokemon and tag, when I was in like 2nd grade the kids played a live action pokemon game where everyone has to curl up in a ball on the ground and be "hatched" by the tagger and evolve or some shit. I asked to play one time and I remember like all the other 15 kids getting tagged and getting hatched but they left me in a ball even though I asked and they were like no youre too weird. I stayed in a ball for a while after that hoping they would change their mind but no one came and they forgot about me.

7, when no one was playing videogames except me. also i preferred to stay at home and didn't want to go outside.

First day of school. Tried to play the hero in a class full of naughty ruler wielders while the teacher was out. I was ratted out by the bastards when all I did was clench my own ruler in retaliation.

Moved to a new school after the 3rd grade, therefore moving away from my only friend. Literally had no friends for the rest of elementary and I would just walk around the playground with my head down with nothing to do.

>9 in 2011
Fuck sake

Age 12/13 (~7th grade) is when I felt like I started becoming alienated from those around me. It was more of a slow withdrawal from most social relationships when I began just feeling gradually more uncomfortable.

I wasn't 9, I was 10 because it was the spring before summer break, which is why there was enough free time for that two-hour recess. If your point is "UNDERAGE BAN" then you're wrong because 10 in 2011 would mean I'm born AT MOST 2001, which is 18 years before 2019.

Quite young. I remember feeling isolated before the age of 7 anyway.

>first fucking grade
>met some Mexican in my trailer park
>had a kindergarten class with him
>we trade toys
>my nice ass Lego monster for some wooden Indian men
>tantilized by this new friendship
>didnt care about the items more than I did being friends
>my brother made me realize fast that he fucked me over
>went to ask for it back
>he told me it was his now
>didnt think much of it
>moved on
>saw him later at recess
>joined him at soccer with other Mexicans
>he tells me I'm not his friend
>runs along to play soccer
This started a long chain of avoiding any risks of having people in my life :^)

>2011
>no phone or videogames
>underageb&
Why even bother?

I guess 8 or so

7 or 8. Took advantage of it because I was funny though, got to hang out with the chad and stacy cliques in school because I was like a jester. Got tired of the act after highschool though and now I'm here.

I was 5 yrs old, that was the time i never set foot on the playground lmao. I was bullied (yeah im a big pussy, i dont fight back) and whenever there is a new kid naive to the school culture, he gets bullied and gets fucked by kindergarten chads. I actually enjoy someone getting picked on at that time. Im fucking insane, edgy, and to this day i still enjoy looking at someone who is in pity and getting his ass whooped. Glad i never got to experience getting bullied again.

When i noticed other kids on my block had no issue playing with outsider stranger kids or the ones from different class
Meanwhile it was a dealbreaker for me, i stick with what i already knew well and closed myself to unknown

>used to fight and scream a lot
>get put into behavior class for 2 years in grade 5
>for 2 years i'm conditioned like Pavlov's dog to act civil and control my temper like normies do
>finally mainstreamed into normal classes
>lifes looking good, i managed to slide in without people noticing too much
>make a few good friends along the way
>one day the superintendent of the school district walks in
>then the principal follows, followed by my family
>followed by my two resource room teachers
>proceed to gather EVERYONE in the class to tell them how much of a good boy i am
>how good ive done and how im NORMAL now!!!
>how ive struggled so hard but ive overcome my struggles
>can feel disgust filling the air, my stomach is turning, but ive never felt this feeling before.
>start to feel sick and light headed.
>the entire time people are looking at me like i'm some sort of alien, people that didnt even look at me before are now staring at me.
>ESPECIALLY the girls, their faces, ill never forget the look on their faces
>just awkward acknowledgement of a lesser species but knowing you have to be near them
>a slight awkwardness mixed with disapproval
>the entire room is a mix of disgust and a somewhat triumphant achievement
>i dont know what to feel so i just sit there awkwardly taking my congratulations
>the entire thing lasts maybe 20 minutes
>everyone leaves and i go about the rest of my day
>as soon as i could i go in the bathroom and stare myself in the eyes for a good 2-3 minutes

That's when I knew. I could just tell I wasn't like them.

oh and another one i just remembered
>be at same school
>playing old school runescape in 2005
>meet two girls online, chat with them
>they go to my fucking school irl, not even joking
>meet up with them, theyre a year younger than me.
>they also find out i was in the resource room for angry people who cant control their temper.
>they used to treat me rather nice until they found this out
>boy little kids sure are bastards because that next day I tried running up to them at recess and talking to them like normal
>first girl: "oh look its the retard."
>second girl: "what do you want, retard?"
>i-uhhh. just wanted to see how you guys were doing..
>second girl: "go away we dont want to be seen around a retard"
>so i just awkwardly left them.

This would be the first of many times a woman or rather women would let me down. Ghost me, treat me badly, blah blah. But this is very, very minor compared to what happened to me later in life. I just now look back on it and realize that things were always that way.

Was 8 I was sent to the capital to do tests in math and English. Got a note saying I was gifted and got to do courses in the big college on a Saturday with the other smart kids

WTF this can't be real. Teachers at least would have to know they were murdering you socially

i'm sorry but it's 100% real and i had to live that.
i felt like a dog that was retrained to do new tricks.
>wow look at how much progress our big boy has made!
it was completely humiliating and was one of the first times, if not THE first moment i felt any form of depression in my life.

After my mum died (I must have been 9 or 10 years old), I noticed how people suddenly changed their attitude around me. The other kids were very cautious and reserved around me, and eventually, I was avoided like the plague. I remember before my mum had died I had an obvious connection to other people, but I hadn't paid it much attention until it seemed as though the connection had eroded and I was thrown into alien world. I haven't made many friends since and I will never be able to erase 'that' stare from my head, which I can only describe as "polite discomfort.".

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Pretty underrated post original

this, was basically banned from the playground by other kids. Only went out when my parents forced me to and even then I'd just sit in a corner and wait until I can go back home

FUCK FUCK FUCK I REPRESSED THESE MEMORIES FOR A REASON user, WHY MUST LIFE BE LIKE THIS

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