Today, short questions edition. Ask me something I can respond to succinctly (which doesn't mean I will). If the answer is too long, I'll describe what it'd be and where to find some answers if I can.
A question that comes up in every single thread is, "How do I get rid of social anxiety?" Don't ask me this. Here's a general answer to it: shitty parenting (whether by their own fault or not) leads to developmental issues, which make you miss steps and stages in your growth, and you become an adult with a younger experience of life, so to speak. Whereas normal people learn to adapt to each stage in time, you are behind. Pretty much the way a ten-year-old would if you dropped him among a group of girls and boys of 20. That is because there are missing stages in your development. Yes, you can catch up.
I will, however, respond to narrower questions about development. Just don't ask me something that would take an hour to respond to correctly.
What kind of rituals do I have to do to summon you
Andrew Ross
What is the solution to the incel problem?
Nathaniel Williams
Not really. If my partner is into it, then this very element will twist it somewhat for me, as I am into pleasing my partner and being pleased by them. But otherwise not much. I don't like being tied up.
You can't summon me. I appear when I appear.
In my opinion: resocialisation and better mental health care. It would greatly help to live in a healthier society as well, but we do what we can.
Every incel I know is basically stuck on some developmental stage, psychologically. It's about being one age physically, and another mentally, and I don't mean intelligence. I mean maturity, experience, skills, etc.
That'd be more my speed, but less about fantasies and more about psychology, homos.
There's no eternal youth.
Jeremiah Kelly
I had an instinct this modern doctor would return and tell us just how dysfunctional we are for rejecting the degenerate modern culture of the day.
Seriously, dont take advise from someone who only wants pleasure from their relationships and isn't willing to work to build anything greater than themselves.
"Never marry a whore who fucks like a prude."
I have more respect for the women of the night who are at least honest about their profession and dont pretend to be doing anything more than taking advantage of a dysfunctional environment.
What do you do while doing those threads, do you sit at home at the computer or is it a way to kill time like when riding the train or something
Jace Bennett
>I had an instinct this modern doctor would return Less an instinct than the simple idea that if someone returned many times, they might return again.
>tell us just how dysfunctional we are I didn't tell you any of that, but if anyone is dysfunctional, it isn't because of any rejection of modern day anything: it's because you were poorly raised by it, which is very different. You might feel more empowered by thinking it was your own choice and difference that made you isolated, but I think this is wishful thinking. Be wary of demonising modern day culture, however.
>someone who only wants pleasure from their relationships Uh...
>isn't willing to work to build anything greater than themselves. Uh... again.
>I have more respect for the women of the night who are at least honest about their profession and dont pretend to be doing anything more than taking advantage of a dysfunctional environment. Anyone's entitled to silly opinions. What I do, however is repair society where it broke itself. I don't see what's dishonest about that, but I doubt you're willing to listen to anything that doesn't go your way.
I'm working at home currently. I'm reading up on a lot of things for a few cases I have. I need to know more.
Aiden Wilson
Thoughts on meditation and what specific type you'd suggest? Or just tips on how you would do it?
Oliver Richardson
I hope this isn't too complicated to ask.
Wagecucks. Their lives seem very turbulent. But how do you think their lives could be easier? In terms of keeping their job and advancing on the Financial Ladder?
Relationship question. My partner and I spent a lot of time together over the summer and now that college had started, I'm suffering from withdrawal. I spent a lot of my free time thinking about her and it's not healthy because I could be spending it on something more productive. Any advice on this lovestruck idiot?
Brandon Sullivan
A close friend of mine has this problem where due to taking depression meds when he was younger, he's become more 'desensitized' to stuff, as in he gets 'used' to stuff too easily. Do you know the type of disorder he has? He wouldn't tell me but I just want to understand him better and be a better friend to him.
Brayden Edwards
of course there is eternal youth OP, dont be a lame ass. what do you mean by 'fix' society. user, how do i become a god
Cooper Gomez
Also, I'm referring to the worker's point of view. Not the business or hierarchy itself.
Elijah Perry
How do I cope with having developed a slight crush on my Russian teacher in college? She is cute, probably late 20s, early 30s, Estonian, reserved/awkward. I haven't developed such feelings in years. I am thinking I might have to masturbate to the thought of her to kill these thoughts
Michael Cooper
Any advice with dealing with morning depression? I'm not sure if this the proper term, but generally, whenever I wake up I feel depressed but as the day goes on I get more and more 'alive' I guess.
who are you and why should i care about what you say
Nathan Perry
Having a job is great. It allows you to be independent, to be useful to others, to feel like you're participating and earning your own due. It also structures your time. If it was only games all the time, it wouldn't be as fun. A good balance between work and play is great to have. Too much work or too much play is not good.
The real question is how to make the unemployed's lives easier. The answer is a job.
Jackson Hill
This is absolutely normal and it means you love your partner. Don't be harsh on yourself. My main worry would be how to keep the relationship afloat with distance between you two. Try to limit your thinking-about-her time to a certain moment and get busy. Get busy is the best way to clear your mind of her.
Dominic Campbell
Therapist user... make sure you use the same title as well so that it's easier to find you... Sometimes the threads here gets me really sad and I don't want that to happen which is why it'd be nice if you use the titles you've used previously, like, "Ask a therapist anything," or "Ask a psychologist." Sorry for the selfish request.
Grayson Wilson
>due to taking depression meds when he was younger Thing is, depression itself has exactly this as a symptom (anhedonia for more), so I wouldn't easily assume it was because of the medication. There's a good chance your friend is still depressive, simply, rather than suffering from some side effects.
Jacob Sullivan
>Less an instinct than the simple idea that if someone returned many times, they might return again. Females tend to be drawn to empty male vacuums like Jow Forums where men attempt to get away from the very women that reject and demand them to retain all the masculine qualities of an Alpha male while still being subservient to the Modern State.
>Poorly raised by it. Its not that the very nature of a totalitarian state that prevents men from dominating women, effectively emasculating those men, no its that these boys are just not raised right.
>Uh... You told me last time that you thought Varg was crazy, despite you regularly sleeping around with men and having no children of your own.
For being "crazy" Varg and his family sure look content and fulfilled.
>How do I cope with having developed a slight crush on my Russian teacher in college? You contact her. Ask her how she is doing and suggest offering her a drink.
Go right ahead, user, we both know it must be done.
Leo Myers
So, it's kind of like code-switching. Going from an individualistic mindset, to a collective of the business you work for? Then switch back to being an individual, once you get home.
It's probably just baseless assumptions, but I'm starting to understand what you're talking about.
Lucas Cook
I suffer the same. Here's how I do: get busy. I find that even simple tasks help, like taking the dishes out of the dishwasher, cleaning something, doing laundry, etc. Any menial thing is a good starter, if you have the time.
Otherwise, and you must listen to me about this: working out is the best. Every single time I work out, my mood improves radically. I can't stress this enough. If you don't work out regularly, I suggest you start. It doesn't need to be Herculean.
Carter Evans
I just searched up anhedonia and it looks a lot like what he has, do you have any guidance or resources on how I can deal with anhedonia or just help him in general about it? I really want to help this motherfucker because he's helped me when I was down and it hurts me to see him like this. He's went to therapists before for this but nothing worked, I'm just hoping for that 1% where you might have something to help my friend. Literally anything. Please.
go up to her, ask her out for coffee, report results
Adrian Rogers
I'm me and whether you should care what I say or not can be easily tested by observing this thread.
>Therapist user... make sure you use the same title as well so that it's easier to find you... My bad. I guess I wanted a smaller audience tonight.
>Sometimes the threads here gets me really sad At first I thought you meant my threads, but I guess you mean Jow Forums threads in general. This is a very important factor: being subjected to all this negativity, day after day, that will mess your mind up worse than most here imagine. I'd cut out the negativity tap if I were you, because you'll end up believing memes are real life when they aren't.
Luis Fisher
How to grow up? I feel like I'm still the same high school student who doesn't try despite being in college.
Camden Evans
>despite you regularly sleeping around with men and having no children of your own. I don't sleep around. All the sex I've ever had was within a relationship. Whether I have children or not isn't for you to know. Before you judge others on whether they have children or not, ask yourself if you are yourself guilty of those same shortcomings. Varg is certifiably insane, clearly.
>For being "crazy" Varg and his family sure look content and fulfilled. According to himself. Meanwhile in reality, he very nearly lost custody of them. Very little chance of these poor children to grow up well, if truth be told.
You need therapy a lot more than you know, and I guess you suspect it because you come to my thread and post. That's a good thing.
>So, it's kind of like code-switching. Going from an individualistic mindset, to a collective of the business you work for? Then switch back to being an individual, once you get home. No. You don't even have to do this. You can think about yourself the entire time, as working is good for you. It gets you money, it gets you to practice a lot of skills (especially social ones, depending on the job), it makes you progress and learn, it makes you be/feel useful, etc. You're always an individual no matter what you do. You just become part of a network, but then again, you always are.
Nicholas Long
Not him, but I'm the same way. It's almost like you can't function without a specific goal.
I'm not sure if you're at liberty to refer to stuff like MBTI, but I really think that it's associated with an [IN_P] type rating, with Perception (unconsciously preferring open options) being the most critical.
Chase Russell
I always start with the basics:
>relationship >friends >job/occupation >hobbies >family >dreams/projects Does he have all these? If not, start there. Not necessarily in helping him get those, but at least see what he has or doesn't have, and why. You'll find answers there, if he is willing to share.
Jason Perry
You two are suggesting I ask out a teacher who I might have for two semesters, is several years older than me, and who is way above my league out? Is this what I'm hearing? I won't do it, at least not until I am sure I won't have her next semester.
Nolan Jenkins
>How to grow up? Identify the issues you struggle with. We'll see at what stage you are.
>I'm not sure if you're at liberty to refer to stuff like MBTI, I could but I find people end up treating it like star signs, so I prefer not to. Humans typically need goals and reasons to do things, otherwise it's an exercise in absurdity. Short of having some purpose, people prefer not to think about it. Philosophy is poison to some minds.
Jose Harris
I don't have the "intiative vs guilt," the one where it reads 3rd through 5th years.
Lincoln Nguyen
before I ask any serious questions 1. are you female? 2. who are you and why are you doing this?
if the answer to 1 is yes, don't bother answering the second question.
Benjamin Ward
>a teacher who I might have for two semesters, If this is university level, and I assume it is, it isn't illegal and I am sure you can both make it work just fine.
>is several years older than me, This hardly ever matters with love. Several years doesn't even sound like a lot.
>who is way above my league out? This is what most people assume about others they fancy. You'd be amazed to find out those you think are out of your league also imagine you are out of theirs. It's less about objective judgement than it is about assuming who you really want is worth more than you are (because they are worth a lot to you specifically).
>Is this what I'm hearing? Absolutely. You're hearing it in Axl Rose's voice too. TAKE ME DOWN...
>I won't do it, at least not until I am sure I won't have her next semester. That's a safe way to do it. I'm fine with that. Remember this: "Who dares wins."
Jeremiah Baker
So it's basically like becoming a Bloomer. Focusing on the positives. My bad, OP
Kevin Cook
1. Yes. 2. For the same reason I do my job otherwise: to help humans, for a better world. I enjoy this, it makes me feel alive. It is my calling.
>if the answer to 1 is yes, don't bother answering the second question. I'm not deleting my answer now.
Not familiar with what a bloomer is and I think I'd rather not know. Always focus on the positive, focusing on the negative is like drinking mud. There's no reason to do it when you can have water. There's a difference between acknowledging the bad and focusing on it. Acknowledge, but don't get stuck.
Jacob Moore
It can be complicated, and that's the last thing somebody wants on their mind
Noah Campbell
It's fine, thanks for being honest but I don't believe you can help anybody. This is just for your own amusement.
Austin Wilson
Guys how does it feel?
Grayson Cooper
True. Stagnation can be just as bad as any other pain. Finding a way to take the initiative is the counter.
Eli Hill
she was your teacher in college, not grade school. so she is older, who cares. Dont call it a date for god's sake. Just walk up to her and ask her if she wants to go get coffee with you. You could be the highlight if her day, or worst case ehh, no sorry too busy.
Bentley Allen
>This is just for your own amusement. It's only fun if it helps others. But if you stick around long enough, you'll see it happen. Others will tell you.
How does what feel?
Stagnation might be the worst. Keep moving, keep going, keep it up, never stagnate. Stagnate is hate.
Gavin Barnes
Thanks for the encouragement. If the feelings remain I will work up the courage to ask her out. Thanks
Ian Brown
In addition to this: don't act like offering a drink is a monumental feat, do it in the chillest, most casual way ever. That way there is no pressure on her, and thus no pressure on you either. You keep everything cool, your life isn't at stake, neither is anything else.
John Butler
I hope you will! And I want future updates on this Estonian teacher of yours. I like good stories.
She *is* my teacher. She is teaching me this semester, right now
Luke Hernandez
In your subjective opinion, do you think that therapists/psychologists/etc. nowadays are too quick to diagnose people with stuff like depression or personality disorders?
Carson Robinson
can i please get some encouragement to not give up
Nolan Stewart
>Whether I have children or not isn't for you to know. Before you judge others on whether they have children or not, ask yourself if you are yourself guilty of those same shortcomings.
So you dont have kids, why not? You do know that as you get older the chances for autism among other defects rise, right? I know its hard to find the right guy, but you shouldn't hold out too long to find him. I know I'm being intrusive but sometimes Doctors need someone to look out for them, and an accomplished woman like yourself shouldn't let her youth waste away.
>According to himself. Meanwhile in reality, he very nearly lost custody of them. Very little chance of these poor children to grow up well, if truth be told. You know much of this was politically motivated and is not indicative of his qualities as a man. For all his faults, Varg has put more effort and care into his kids than the average father today.
>You need therapy a lot more than you know, and I guess you suspect it because you come to my thread and post. That's a good thing. It takes two to tango, and you need help just like I do, many often neglect the Doctors as people, and put them on a pedestal as if they didn't suffer from many of the same problems.
>In your subjective opinion, do you think that therapists/psychologists/etc. nowadays are too quick to diagnose people with stuff like depression or personality disorders? Depends wildly. Laymen tend to think diagnoses are extremely dangerous items because laymen think the world of diagnoses while at the same time try to deny their weight; the truth is that professionals generally don't put that much weight on diagnoses, because they know the nature of those. Some professionals flat-out refuse to diagnose, unless it's something like schizophrenia (but they'll refrain from personality disorders).
The fact is that some conditions aren't hard to diagnose. Depression isn't hard to stop, and it's not dangerous to see symptoms of depression in someone who tells you about it. This matters only in that you get the appropriate solutions for specific problems.
I have seen people get incredibly wrong diagnoses, however. It matters to keep a scientific mind about diagnoses and treat it like a hypothesis, then test, see what happens, adjust your hypothesis, so on and so forth, until something provides results, but even then, never assume a diagnosis is some essential truth (or some star sign that defines you).
>how old is she I thought you read my original post ()? I am 22. My best guess is that she is between 28 and 32.
Kayden Mitchell
>So you dont have kids, why not? You don't have reading comprehension, why not? If I had kids, I wouldn't want this to be known here, like everything else in my personal life. Your opinion and advice on my personal life is irrelevant. We both know exactly why you're doing it and you're not exactly subtle.
Varg is a filthy liar, a pathetic person, and an absolute nutcase, not to mention a murderer and a psychopath. You should be concerned that you look up to him.
>It takes two to tango, It doesn't take two to flamenco. I can do this thread alone, I don't need you here.
>and you need help just like I do, I'm not here to get help. And I'm not a doctor.
Thomas Thomas
If you enjoy it, it's still a happy ending.
I did read it, but I read everything here and don't register everything permanently. These ages are just fine. Absolutely go for it, my man.
Dylan Rogers
>If you enjoy it, it's still a happy ending.
OP are you single
Leo Peterson
Alright. Thanks again for the encouragement. But if it goes sour I will hunt you down and rape your corpse. Jk
Ethan Murphy
Ah, I see, it's pretty interesting to hear a professional's view on this. I never thought of diagnoses as being like scientific hypotheses either.
This is something I was wondering about because I've been considering seeking out a therapist, but worried about unintentionally misrepresenting my problems and being diagnosed with something that's completely false.
Xavier Robinson
Hey, I've got a question. A lot of what you say revolves around development and parents and such, but I feel like I am an exception. My older brother of 2.5 years and I have basically had the same upbringing. Our parents are really good people who are also really good parents, though they did divorce when I was in middle school. (I still saw them both and they are cool with each other) Anyway, my brother is a complete chad archetype. Absolute social god, the ability to make friends with anyone and everyone, and just super well adjusted in general. On the other hand, I am a complete social failure, with no good friends and very few loose friends. How did this happen? I feel like it must be more my fault than my environment's, right?
Easton Johnson
I feel immense guilt because I keep thinking of going through with my plan (not going to say what it is) but I also feel that it would be wrong because my life isn't that bad. My parents treated me well despite the fact I've become more isolated due to them but my reason is because I'm starting to feel an indifference/boredom toward everything. The boredom that I feel has gotten to a point that I'm staying long hours in my room just staring at my computer screen doing nothing unless there is coursework. College was going great for one while until I started becoming lazy with note taking and required readings, now I'm barely making it. To cut this short, my main questions are how do I stop feeling indifferent/bored and how do I stop having suicidal thoughts?
Spoopy. At least, you get sex either way. S'all good.
>I never thought of diagnoses as being like scientific hypotheses either. Any nation that considers psychology seriously will have their psychologists be trained as scientists. That means they will use the scientific method to think and operate. Observe, hypothesize, test, adjust, test, adjust, test, hypothesize again, test, adjust, until it works better and better.
>but worried about unintentionally misrepresenting my problems and being diagnosed with something that's completely false. As long as you keep in mind the diagnosis CAN be wrong, you won't have a problem. It just means your therapist is fallible. You can very easily look up the diagnosis yourself and see whether you agree or not. If you disagree, and are right, it won't be hard to "argue" for your case.
are you a libertarian and do you have ffeminine feet
Hunter Morales
This is hard to describe, but how do you know if you are feeling emotions the same way as others? I keep thinking I barely feel emotions (if at all), but I don't actually KNOW if I feel less emotions as other people.
Jordan Martin
>We both know exactly why you're doing it and you're not exactly subtle. Im doing it because its important to know someone's background before taking any advise from them. I dont think it would be exactly wise to take dieting advise from someone who is obese in the same way it wouldn't be exactly wise to take advise from someone who doesn't have their own life in order.
>Varg is a filthy liar, a pathetic person, and an absolute nutcase, not to mention a murderer and a psychopath. You should be concerned that you look up to him.
Are you really gonna buy the official narrative on him? Aren't you at least a bit skeptical on whether the government might have a bias against him? His house was raided by French police despite them having done nothing wrong. Do you hate him or something? Why wont you give him the benefit of the doubt?
>It doesn't take two to flamenco. I can do this thread alone, I don't need you here. Of course it does, flamenco is about the duel and you cant have a one person duel.
Stop being so hostile, you're asking others to reveal themselves to you, and you wont do the same to us, just how self righteous do you think you are?
>My older brother of 2.5 years and I have basically had the same upbringing This may not be correct. You can have the same parents, but very different treatments as individual children.
>Our parents are really good people who are also really good parents, While I believe you, this is what most children think of their parents, not having any real perspective on the situation.
>though they did divorce when I was in middle school. Problems in development need not stem solely from "bad parents", something like a separation can be enough to cause trauma and developmental problems.
>On the other hand, I am a complete social failure, If you think the divorce disrupted your sense of security, then consider that your brother was older than you when this happened and quite possibly in a more secure place and was less affected, if the divorce was a major influence on you.
>How did this happen? I feel like it must be more my fault than my environment's, right? Not necessarily. Your brother had the major advantage of not having an older version of himself that was always better at everything because he was older. You, however, had exactly this. Older siblings often cause difficulties to younger ones because they're more advanced on everything and cause insecurities (though they don't mean to, of course). Maybe this sheds some light on the whole thing, but there might be more that you aren't telling me just yet.
Bentley Bailey
>I'll leave this one unanswered.
grrrr, and lingerie pics OP
Alexander Murphy
I don't think you're supposed to ask this kind of question to a therapist but do you have any tips with getting friends, I'm spending all my free time alone and beside family I don't really see anybody thanks you for using your skills to discuss with socially retarded robots I appreciate it
Matthew Ortiz
Don't kill yourself. There is a solution to your problem. Your parents doing things that led to your isolation isn't good treatment, but they may not have done it on purpose, of course. You're probably in a way worse state of depression than you think, and the gravity of the situation may escape you. There is no laziness, you certainly aren't lazy, seeing as you live on despite feeling suicidal, and this is the hardest work there fucking is. I'd sooner do "real work" for 15 hours a day for months than feeling suicidal. You are not lazy. You lack motivation, which is the first thing that goes when you are depressive. It's normal. Lack of motivation is due to lack of rewarding feelings for doing things, anhedonia, and this kills the man.
You need to tackle this the way depression is tackled. If you can get therapy, do that. I'd advise a cognitive-behaviorist therapist.
I have become apolitical. I side with good ideas and nothing else. Politics nowadays, for laymen, is mostly a game of showing others your identity, which, to me, feels like children showing their toys dressed up like who they'd want to be. It's beneath what politics should be about. I have feminine feet. Red nail polish usually.
