I was in love with this girl for two years and we danced around the fact that i liked her (i told her as much) i eventually asked her out and she rejected me
and im trying to move on boys i really am, im trying to go on dates im trying to meet people. im trying to build discipline to go to the gym and go to to clubs that i like and just try and be happy prtdon
i was supposed to go on a date today with a really pretty girl, im sure you guys have had the same fantasy in your head of how your life will be with this person in it so i tried cancelling those thoughts and just tried to be happy for the date
well i texted her this morning asking her what time she wanted to meet up this afternoon, that was at 10am its 230pm now. i just dont get it why agree and then just ghost me, this has happened almost 4 times in a row now i just feel defeated
i just dont know how much i can keep trying honestly. on top of school and work i just feel so worn down and not even like a person
i dont even really care if someone reads this or not i just needed to get it out i guess
AMS on YouTube covers this phenomenon. Sometimes it's helpful to hear someone put a phenomenon into words.
Aaron Martin
did you call her? call her once
Tyler Hall
I'm in a similar situation user...
I had a massive crush on a ridiculously cute girl for a whole year. After seeing what I thought were signs that she liked me back, I finally decided I needed to man up and ask her out. She rejected me -- very kindly and graciously (she said she was busy with school), but it still hurt. I'm not an asshole or incel so I'm still her friend but every time I see her it cuts me deep and my depression gets worse. That was 6 months ago...
I tried Tinder to move on, but that fizzled out almost immediately. I put no heart into my profile and no effort into the matches I got so I just gave up, knowing that I was just looking for a replacement for the girl I still really loved.
P.S. I understand just needing to get it out... that's what my post is too. Solidarity, I guess.
Landon Gomez
from what i can gather you are on a good path, don't get caught up overthinking, be principled, never listen to the shit some youtube-griefer tries to sell you, speak to a woman like you would enjoy being spoken to.. it wont be easy but you can do it my friend, dont give up,
Nathan Perry
that sucks dude, its hard to get rejected but you are a good person for swallowing it and accepting the girls wishes. you are a better guy than most. i hope you will get over her as fast as possible and find someone that truly likes you
Connor Lopez
Thank you so much for the kindness, a little can go a long way.
It's super hard to move on partially because I only meet new people my age once every few years, as I'm very introverted, and partially because I still see her regularly...
Luis Ross
I wonder if it would be better for your mental health to stop trying to date entirely, and just wait to meet someone through a natural course? Trying and failing is worse than not trying at all right?
Elijah Lee
I'm glad I caught this thread, I needed to hear these things too. I'm in a similar situation as well and have been in a bad pit for the last 3 weeks.
lol im the OP after i made tihs she actually texted me back saying she had a late work night and slept in too long today and shes sorry about flaking but has hw and the rest so idk what im going to say to her back but i guess i just wanted to up[date you fellas
thank you for reading my post, i know Jow Forums isnt a hugbox and r9k certainly isnt aplace to get a pat on the back but it means a lot to me to know that even if nobody reads this i have somewhere to turn to
Luke Morales
got the nerves eh
Sebastian Rodriguez
Hopefully she's telling the truth
Gavin Turner
we are in very similar scenarios, if you can somehow manage to eat your feelings and be cordial than do so. When i asked out zoe we both knew my feelings were intense and not something justt casual so remaining friends was unfortunaely not an option.
It sounds like to me that seeing her around still hurts you very much and if its possible to cut contact.
the girl i asked out goes to a different school and wouldnt even return a happy birthday text i sent her a month after her rejecting me so its easier i guess for me to do the out of sight out of mind shit
what im getting at is you should maybe do the same, and tinder is definitely not for everyone as well, good luck
Logan Wood
really happy to hear that bro. gl
Gabriel Murphy
Thank you for the response. Feels a little less shitty to know I'm not alone.
The reason I'm not willing to cut contact is because I don't want to hurt her feelings. She said she liked me and just didn't want to date at the time, and she still talks to me, so maybe I'm also holding out hope that if I ask again someday she'll give me a different answer.
Is that naive, or stupid?
Henry Roberts
personally, I believe it is a bit niave yes.
I am sure she likes you as a friend, but girls rarely reject someone and then turn around and date them, also think about it like this: if this was a different girl who you asked out and she said no, and then you kept talking and hanging out while she does what she does and you do what you, then one day she decides to date you. In my eyes thats like keeping you on the hook and that isnt fair to anyone
also dont worry about hurting her feelings, i doubt you are the first person shes been friends with that has asked her out. If it really (and i mean really really) bothers you about her feelings then explain why you are cutting her out
Jackson Kelly
ok this is my opinion (but i am an internet stranger so remember that)
The only dumb or naive thing to do is to cut contact. That archieves nothing.
From how i see it, she is either into you or wants to keep you as a friend.If its the former, well gratz buddy and if its the ladder i'm sorry.
But don't be stupid. A Friend is worth alot and you shouldn't burn bridges if you don't have to. Don't think of "being friendzoned". you are not. you are being a friend and a good and kind person. and people will like that. fun fact: girls sometimes fall in love with friends, not only sometimes but nearly all the time. so if she wants to be your friend, fuck yeah buddy pls don't waste a friendship.
Jack Richardson
I get where you're coming from, but what if she really meant what she said about being busy with school? And if she gets to a place where that's not as stressful, maybe she'll be interested in a relationship? idk the more i rationalize it the more it sounds stupid actually...
I'm not going to cut her off. It would probably make me feel better in the long run but I'm still in love with her, so I'm just dealing with the depression. Plus it seems like a really low blow -- > you didn't date me so see ya bitch
I didn't expect such good advice from Jow Forums... thanks boys
Mason Richardson
This happened to me all too many times anons
The last girl who I had a go with was talking to me for about 6 months, then when I asked her she said she liked me back. Barely a few weeks later she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and ended up friendzoning me.
Fuck sake is it too much to ask to have a girl who actually loves me? Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be happy, it's the worst thing when a girls likes you but they're too immature to want anything other than gratification.
I don't even have a problem not having sex until they're comfortable with it. If anything I look for girls who I could have the prospect of marrying, I JUST WANT A FUCKING FAMILY BY 25 AND A WIFE AND KIDS ITS NOT EVEN THAT MUCH FUUUUCK
I mean this is the nicest way possible but you failed when you decided to go to the gym for girls. You can't make mental gains that way Very similar situation here. She's native chinese and a mutual friend told me she said that she wouldn't date me because I'm not chinese. I'm trying to distance myself from her now since we hang out a lot
I dont doubt she may be busy and everything like that, but like i said if you can eat your feelings and can remain cordial, do so.
in that post you said you are in love with her, dont think of it as ya didnt date me so see ya
im going to explain to you what happened to me in detail because what you are saying is similar to me.
I met this girl in class and we became close, she had a boyfriend but broke up wiht him when the semester finished, we started to hang out and there was a time then where something romantic couldve occurred but i missed my shot, for the next two years i tried to be a good friend and she dated other people and struggled with personal issues and i dated someone and struggled and we were there for each other and we were pretty good friends, but in that whole time i still was in love with her and it became very obsessive and toxic.
i only asked her out because i cut her out because i wanted her as a friend so i thought if we wouldnt talk i would lose my feelings, so this year we started talking a bit here and there and by this summer we were talking how we used to and then we started hanging out
i asked her out because she had recently broken up with soeone again and i knew that she wasnt going to remain single for long because she never does so i shot my shot
now read everything i wrote because you could potentially spiral like this lmao where it becomes this obsessive thing and all that, sometimes its best to just cut them out
Wyatt Perez
lol not gym for girls, i just wanted to have some kind of discipline, something that i could stick with everyday that was healthy for me instead of laying in bed or drinking a lot.
