Whats your life with mental disorders user?

>whats your life with mental disorders user?
Okay.

>what do you have?
Bipolar disorder.

>how does if affect you in your daily life?
I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow no matter what happens today.

>tfw no gf?
No, I'm married.

>and do you have memories positive and negative?
Of course.

>also how would you explain it to someone who doest have it?
Imagine you could really feel, just for a moment, and you'd have a sense of it.

OCD. Saw a therapist when I was a teenager for it and the rituals never really stopped, they just changed. Takes a lot of my day up because I am constantly checking and counting, especially at night and before I leave the house in the mornings. I do a lot of rituals at work too. My colleagues probably think I am crazy but I have stopped caring. I would rather they think that, than not do the rituals.

I've been diagnosed with both Bipolar type 2 as well as ADHD. I think I may have been misdiagnosed with bipolar because ADHD exhibits similar symptoms but I'm not sure. I know I woke up feeling depressed yesterday and it hasn't gone away yet.

My life is ok though. Getting medicated for ADHD has really really helped me get on top of my life for once. I still have moments where I am not on top of things (I miss work sometimes) but overall I'd say it's ok.

I don't think I'll ever find a partner though. I struggle with weight and become really crazy when I think I'm going to be rejected by someone. I'd rather not go through those feelings again. The mood stabilisers and antidepressants have helped with that and the anxiety but still, I don't want to hurt anyone or hurt myself.

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Have OCD. Specifically obsessional thinking. It started (or at least mainly started) back in late 2017, where I kept obsessing over the thought that I was gay and nothing in the world could stop that from leaving my mind. I initially dismissed it, but it kept continuing for weeks. I made the stupid decision of not telling my mother about it because I felt it was something embarrassing, but in March 2018 it got really bad, like I mean the kind of shit where I would spend hours of my life just obsessing over shit; it had progressed to a point where I scraped through my memory and dug up every single example of shit I might have seen and used it as ammo in this ongoing effort to convince myself that I was gay or attracted to traps or even a fucking pedophile. It got to degrees where I wasn't sure if what I was thinking happened was actually real, but because it felt real then it must've happened and I must've been guilty as sin. It eventually reached a breaking point in June and I got diagnosed and got put on meds and for the past 15 months it had nearly ceased to exist entirely. There was some other shit in the meantime (this summer I was psychotically obsessed with drugs and how I hated seeing it and how I hated the prevalence of it, on top of having to deal with these awful mood swings), but generally I had never been as much of a nervous wreck as I had been back last year. But on Friday, the day I started in uni, it fucking kicked in with a vengeance, and since then I've sort of relapsed into this habit of ruminating through old thoughts and not being able to let go of thoughts that happened years ago. I don't know if things will get better or if they'll get worse, but the fact that I've relapsed into this horrible anxious state after months of things being manageable kills me.

Just reading that last sentence back upset me, because I hate the fact that this has to be something I can't just get rid of, I can just be treated and controlled and I have to manage it and live with it. Why can't it all just go away? Why am I cursed to live like this, being a prisoner inside my own head? Why can't I just be blissfully ignorant of the way things are?

Hey dude I struggled really hard with this too. What medication are you on? I take Luvox and it has seriously made it a lot easier to control these thoughts.

PTSD
Depression
Crippling anxiety
It's shit I suppose. It's hellish in its own right. My drugs help me survive aswell as cigars. Sometimes I want to climb into a hole and never come out. Fuck this gay world.

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What did you get the PTSD from friend?

>autism/aspergers
>future NEET after I fight the SSDI courts with an SSDI attorney
>23 year old khv, male, 1 friend I may have shunned accidentally
>I like this song:

youtube.com/watch?v=RZSgwQoTeiQ

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Sertraline, 150g

How can you have bulimia and autism?
I try and force myself to vomit, and I can't do it.

I start crying because it's so hurtful.

keeping thread alive

whats your life with mental disorders user?
>feels like not being able to be my real self that I idealize, and im some kind of "false" self that has been shaped by my mental illness rather than what i imagine and im unable to change it because im limited to my perception that is clouded by mental illness. i dont know how to be real. Sure i can be "myself" but its just an amalgamation of side effects from mental disorders.
what do you have?
>OCD
>bi-polar 1 manic depression/psychosis
>schizotypal personality disorder delusions/paranoia
>autism high functioning
>insomnia
>anxiety
>ADD
>PTSD
how does if affect you in your daily life?
life? Im NEET. i dont do anything. i have no skills or education because im unable to retain information and my reading comprehension is shit. My memory is shit because my brain is constantly remembering things that are completely random and i have intrusive thoughts that make thinking impossible and i repeat those intrusive thoughts over and over again. I cant maintain relationships even with family. i am afraid to be loved.
tfw no gf?
>i have a on and off again gf and an older fuck buddy, and a girl that secretly wants me but shes bi-polar as fuck so its pretty 50/50 with her.
and do you have memories positive and negative?
i thought all my memories were good but in hindsight i realize that all my actions and thoughts were the result of mental illness, and in that light my memories are quite deluded. I have many regrets and cringe in my memory
also how would you explain it to someone who doesnt have it?
>same as i said in how it affects my daily life. Its just hell. Comorbidity is a bitch. Its like prison in your mind, and your trapped in a body with a broken brain.

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final bump to keep thread alive. I need some therapy

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Where my schizoids at?
Why is it so difficult to express?
Do you feel guilty at not reciprocating others attempts at socialization with you?

>depression, generalized/social anxiety, anorexia, add, idk what else because I don't like talking to psychs
I don't talk to people or leave my house often, and whenever I do I feel like there's a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world. I avoid looking in mirrors because i can see my face change, almost like its melting kind of. I used to be very paranoid of being monitored and poisoned but that's gotten a bit better lately. I had to go to a residential center for my anorexia about 2 years ago so I don't starve myself as much anymore but I still hate eating. My memory isn't very good but they're mostly negative. Idk how I'd explain it to other people except 'it sucks'

I have schizophrenia. This one time a girl gave me her phone number and I thought there was some conspiracy to make me a joke so I did not call her. Now looking back I realize there was no conspiracy, she just wanted to date me or something.

Fuck

I'm a an almost 26 year old shut in and I haven't been to a doctor since I was 19. at that point I was "diagnosed" with depression and anxiety although I wasn't really examined very closely. this shit about "self diagnosis" being not as valid as "professionals" is fucking garbage. unless you're literally incapable of coherent thought it's pretty easy to self assess. professionals only validate what you tell them anyway. I knew I had social anxiety and depression before I went.
now though I assume that I likely have deeper problems such as probably being on the autism spectrum. all I know is that I cannot function in any capacity. give me any mild stressor and I have a complete meltdown

i purge by restricting calories and also by strenuous exercise like HIIT

A mixture of bullying at a young age along with abuse as well as overall life fucking me up in general.

I have PTSD, depression, I hear voices, and I have split personality. Its an emotional rollercoaster for my life. I do not have a GF. I have mostly memories of negative things.

Its like you are in a world where everyone is your enemy. All anyone wants to do is advance their position and all is fair game.