Why am i such a bad person

really user...and how is that going for you. i hate that im like this

calm down its just a useless animal

>why am i such a bad person
>>compulsive liar
I'm the opposite
>>lazy
Same
>>impulsive
Same same
>>prideful and self centered
Same
>>fat and gluttonous
Same
>>disrespectful
Same
>>depressed and antisocial
Same
>>numb and empty
Same
>>enjoy harassing people online
I live for that shit I've been doing it 20+ years
>>used to beat my dog no reason
Same but he's way too old and based
>>blew large amount of money gambling
Same except on my car
>>fucked 10 prostitutes/asian massage parlor
Nope but I have a thing for my mum and play with her boobs
>>was dropout neet for 2 years
Same
>>cumbrain fapper
Same
>>also i am only 21
30
>why am i like this...why cant i just be normal
Because we are the failed betas/zetas

Your urge to hurt others (verbally or even physically) stems from you redirecting your self-hate. Narcissism is a coin with two sides. Behind your "pride" is self-loathing.
You feel empty and and numb because you are depressed. The pain also makes you self-centered.
You can be "normal". You just need to realize where your problems lie and stop coping with your internal issues by redirecting your aggressions towards others.

Lmao armchair psychiatrist knows nothing about having a male dog with functional gonads and testosterone

Bitch boi try having a dog bigger than a fuzzy rat

>You just need to realize where your problems lie and stop coping with your internal issues by redirecting your aggressions towards others.
how do i overcome my self hate then

go to the beginning. how did it start? where did things in your life start to go wrong? and why?

But user, at least you're not a virgin.

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i really started fucking up in high school.i just lost any ambition i had and no longer had any interest in achieving anything. i stopped putting effort in to anything. i guess i hate myself for being a low status, low value male

Your life is terrible because of Capitalism. You could not reconcile the obvious pointlessness of our lives and chose to heed your basest instinct.

You are still a failure, though. You would just be less so without a capitalist system.

This "no interest at achieving anything" points towards depressions. Did something happen that put your life off balance? Did you experience helplesness or loss? Bullying or something else?
"low status, low value male"

i guess between the transition to high school was just hard for me as i went to a new school and have trouble making friends. i mean i did make friends but i was still very much a loner with only 1 or 3 people that i would talk too. i sort of gave up on alot of dreams and stuff when i realized the amount of work it would take to get there
>"low status, low value male"

Sounds like you gave up on your dreams because back then you already lacked self-esteem and confidence. You were afraid of failing so you didn't even try. That is not your fault though. Sounds like your parents might have not really been there for you as they should have. Or they failed at helping you to develop confidence. I don't say "blame them", because likely they did their best, but also do not blame yourself.
And it is never too late to change these things. I think by questioning your position (and attitude) in life you already took the first step.
It is not going to be easy, trust me on this. I walked that path myself and it took time, patience and energy to fix myself. But it can be done.
Likely you did harass women online, and I guess you don't count that as "talking to women". And rightfully so.
But atm you are speaking to a woman and I'd say this counts as a proper conversation. And at least as far as I am aware we are not related.

And in any case, your value as a human is not derived from "speaking to women". You have value. You are important.
While of course you can even increase your value by not making others suffer for your self-hate. :D
You sound like a nice person. Don't hide that behind terrible behavior.

Not him but it's really hard. It's really really really hard. But Congrats on your journey, you made it!!!!!! :*)

Because the only things you have found that you control are "bad" things. You can always turn yourself around. It feels good, OP.

>You were afraid of failing so you didn't even try
this. i am so afraid of ending up as a failure that i never tried and ended up as a failure lol
>failed at helping you to develop confidence
i mean nobody just has confidence. confidence has to come from something.
how can i know what to fix? is it simply a matter of choosing better behaviors? or do i need to develop self-esteem

NPCs are filled with misdirected parental instinct from not having children because the media says so, and they cope by obsessing over pet animals.
It's all so tiresome.

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It really is hard. But it is worth it. And thank you :)

This!

You are no failure. You are only a failure if you give up. Right now you are still on your "journey" that can lead you everywhere.
And now that we have established that there is no harm in trying, you can start trying :D
Confidence is rooted in the very early years of your life, not in later achievements. If your parents mess up, it is hard to fix this later in life. But it can be done. You need to actively scan your thought processes for errors. Google "Mind traps" and try to avoid all of those. Monitor your emotions, to get a better "feeling" for yourself. Remind yourself that you have value and that you are important. And yes, do change your behavior. It will take time, but it helps. Loving yourself and loving others is strongly tied together. One doesn't work without the other. Being helpful and useful will also boost your self-esteem, because you will get positive feedback for your actions. Maybe volunteer for some "charity" work. Work with elderly, disabled, homeless people. It sounds lame, but it is true: Giving to others also gives YOU something. We humans are wired this way.

Calm down, it's not like he tore up your anime poster, you faggot.

same apart from the harrassment and dog beating. i am a piece of work though, but i've been trying to rectify how much of a self-absorbed cunt I am recently. I'm getting quite good at being empathetic

Not who you're conversing with, but thank you so much. Just knowing that there are people out there that care enough to honestly try to help, especially a woman, makes everything much less bleak for me. Whether or not your advice helps, this made my day. God bless you

>Confidence is rooted in the very early years of your life
so basically i need to affirm myself to have confidence?
>aybe volunteer for some "charity" work. Work with elderly, disabled, homeless people. It sounds lame
probably can't do this. i dont like going out in public as i feel judged.
anyways thanks for you kind words

>It is not going to be easy, trust me on this. I walked that path myself and it took time, patience and energy to fix myself. But it can be done
how bad were you?

Congrats and kudos for your courage. This is not an easy path. But it is worth it. Stay strong!

There are many people out there who honestly care. It is easy to forget that when life kicks you down, but it is still true. None of us is truly alone. There always is someone willing to grasp our hand when we reach out, even if we don't always find them instantly. The hardest thing is to not push them away and find the strength to trust them.

Yes. Affirm yourself. Do not compare yourself to others but to your former self. As long as you are doing better than your self from the week before, you win.
If there is a place you won't be judged, it is charity work. People will be happy to see you there. It might be a good place to practice "going out in public". Also remember: Most people won't judge you, because they have their own problems occupying their mind. And the few who DO judge you have severe issues on their own (else they wouldn't spend their time judging people) and thus have no legit basis to judge you. I am sure soon you will be able to try this :) Helping others really makes you stronger. Take your time and don't pressure yourself, but do be brave! You can do it!

I was very self-centered due to my pain. Had no mental or emotional ressources to spend on others. Failed at all social things. Hated myself, sabotaged myself. No self-esteem, no confidence. Didn't direct my self-hate outwards though. It all stayed inside and my head felt like a pressure cooker until I went numb and zombie-like. Didn't self-harm (aside of generally treating myself badly with not eating enough etc) but had actual physical pain from my self-hate. Also crushing anxiety. Trusted nobody due to many bad experiences. Heart wrenching loneliness. I figured out the underlying issues and re-trained my brain to work in my favor instead of against me.

OPs bad behavior is not the root of his problem. It is a symptom. I had other symptoms but the root of them was similar or the same.

>cant do this I'll feel judged
I volunteer every saturday. I work with the oldest crusty motherfuckers, the absolute dullest retards, the biggest neckbeard weirdos and the old ladiest old ladies. Everyone is always nice to eachother. Especially to the retards (like you)

Heading off to sleep now, good night OP and other people! I enjoyed talking to you and wish you all the best on your paths.

Try stopping some of your bad habits and start meditating and reading books 15 minutes a day each at least.
Also, if you want to beat an animal, get a cat. Doggos feel pain.

>compulsive liar
same, I really have no problem to lie if it's to my advantage
>lazy
same
>impulsive
same, I don't have enough discipline and self control
>prideful and self centered
same, already lost 5 former best friends in the last few years because this of this behaviour. I always have to "wear a mask" to hide my true character.
>fat and gluttonous
nope
>disrespectful
same as the self centered thinking. at some point I can't hide it anymore
>depressed and antisocial
Same. On the surface people think that I am funny, charismatic etc. but thats absolutly wrong. I don't have the power anymore to try it again and again, if every new friendship fails because of me.
>numb and empty
same
>enjoy harassing people online
same
>used to beat my dog no reason
I would never attack an animal or human with physical violence.
>also i am only 21
I am 20.

can't really stand this life for more than a few more years, if there is no fundamental change in the future.

not op, but whenever i tried meditation, that zen sensation was lost almost 2 minutes after meditating for 30 minutes.
feels useless desu

The most important thing anyone has ever told me was my ex saying that I used my self hated as an excuse to be bad to people
People don't see the person you are on the inside they only see your actions. Stop using your self hated to be bad and stop making excuses for doing bad actions
Noone can change their past but you can change your present, one good action at a time
Good luck

but what if the dog did something wrong tho?

first post best post

rot in your own pool of shit, OP