>everybody thought i would have a great future
>above 130 iq
>did excellent at school
>bullied both phisically and verbally by other kids
>slowly become more isolated
>seek an escape from reality in vidya, music, books, anime and porn
>become a huge reader and a pretty good guitarist and singer
>become a porn addict
>realize that i'm not really learning anything at school and that i'd do better on my own
>just go there to get mocked
>parents don't seem to understand and force to go there and even socialize
>have to fake happiness and interest in other people
>feel completely alienated
>porn addiction gets worse
>constant panic attacks and mood swings
>realize that people laughs at me at my back due to my physical appearance
>even "friends" laugh at me
>as soon as i leave school i try to lose any contact with everyone i knew
>"i'm a genius, i'll become a famous musician or writer"
>everything i write or compose is shit
>try to educate myself to compensate the time lost in school
>lock in my room to study
>lack any will to do it, instead i masturbate the whole day
>all my other hobbies have been replaced by porn
>i don't even get aroused by porn anymore
>developed autogynephillia
>though i used to have only straight thoughts, now i think that i might be bisexual
>haven't gone out of my house in almost 6 months
Everybody thought i would have a great future
I feel you. I learned more on the internet than I did in school. But people don't take self learners seriously because they want to infantilize the learning process.
I could've been something too but everyone fucked that up for me.
>just another mentally ill coomer thread
Self learning is fine but you need something to show for it, with proper schooling that is filled by degree/diploma/test score etc.
>parents don't seem to understand and force to go there and even socialize
I see the problem, you were conditioned from birth to be a slave who can only operate under the order of his parents. It's almost like in order to become a real human being and a man, you need to leave your parents basement.
You need to be really fucking smart and lucky to break through if you're ugly. I was fairly bright when I was little, but being depressed and isolated for over a decade has turned me into an idiot. I turned out like this largely due to my looks. People just become merciless once you reach a certain age. I wish I could get a do-over.
Oh yeah that little piece of paper proves your worth to Shlomo Noseberg
Well, it started off relatable.
Yeah go to any job and say "I self learned bro" when they ask for qualifications.
I never said self learning isn't doable but you need something to show for, e.g. some personal project. But judging from the cumbrains and the discpline of people on this site, it'll never work for robots.
At least you're smart, that's got to count for something? I never had any hope from the start
Yeah, I learned much more on my own than with any teacher at school. As I said, I only went there be laughed at.
That's the bad thing. In my country you can be homeschooled and still get a diploma as if you completed school, but you need to take the same test as everyone else. Why do I need to learn chemistry for explame, if I don't want to become anything related to that?
What was I supposed to do? I must have been 15 when I told them. I know that I should move now. I've been thinking about moving to another city but, what will I do there? I'll still be a mess.
I'm a fucking cumbrain now, I don't know if I could still be considered as "smart"
>porn addict
Stopped reading there. Self hating cuck.
Maybe you are right now, but that intelligence is still there somewhere, I don't know if people can get dumber, they can just feel dumb or be unmotivated to think. I'm talking out of my ass though so I may be wrong
From middle through high school everybody said how smart was I. The teachers loved me. After finishing HS I had to realize I'm not smart at all. Below average in pretty much everything. They just loved - unlike all the normal boys - I behaved how they wanted to.
this is literally how tranny's are made. people think it's something they're born with, but most are just confused cumbrain porn addicts.
your only hope is to do something that will increase your testosterone. i used to have similar thoughts, then I started lifting. eventually I started feeling more drawn to more dominant sexual acts, instead of disgusting submissive tranny shit.
>what will I do there? I'll still be a mess.
Well, for one thing you will be forced to learn to survive on your own. You will have to get creative and as a result grow as a person. You can take initiative and learn more, relearn how to love life, start becoming more efficient at existing in greater society, and thus become more fulfilled.
you literally just posted this same thread on /mu/ please shut the fuck up
>above 130iq
Do you even know what means IQ? 100 is the average for a certain age. In other words, you just need to understand one thing more to be above the average or under. So it doesn't even means that much. More over, IQ is related to age, so result of IQ you took at 15 to boost your confidence means no shit 3 years later.
>did excellent at school
Being excellent at a low level is not that hard. Excellency appears later.
Sorry to give you bad news. You're a typical victim of modern society. You always believed that you were special, more intelligent, more talented, and suddenly you realize it was all bullshit so you get depressed. But that's a very common thing. Get over it, like many others did before you.
Wow, you sound almost exactly like me, except I had autogynephllia from the start and could never even get into porn as a result. I'm 26 and I'm turning my life around, trying to become an indie game dev. If you're a lot younger than me, don't give up hope. The biggest turning point I had personally was taking up jogging. It may seem impossible at the start, but if you're really unfit, do short sprints and walks that you're comfortable with until you can jog without being uncomfortable. I know how fucking annoying it is to have people say shit like "you can do it" and "it gets better", but as long as you blame yourself for your own problems and actively try to fix them, there is hope. Good luck buddy.
You still have chance to stop your fetishes. Nofap+understanding why you have them. Fetishes are ofen copes or results of life problems.
Zero words to express the feels I am having right now.
I decided to read your thread after leaving the awful shit and am here to inform you to stop baiting so horribly.
Jow Forums only has shitty posters
The public school system is fucking brutal, I'm so sorry user.
Also autogynephilia is a curse, I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Stay strong my friend. Don't let it consume you.