Please tell me a bedtime story Jow Forums

Please tell me a bedtime story Jow Forums

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If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s telling a story.

Why?

there was once a man named big dan
he was very cool
and everbody loved him because he was so cool

Please do
Because I can't sleep...

N-now? Like, right here? Right now?

>tfw no lazy gf

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This.

Very nice. Now I can almost sleep.
Yes. Doesn't have to be a long story.

Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!

I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity. Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds. All in pork rinds of god. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!

>tells you a bedtime story

Theres the story.

I'm sorry. I don't have a reaction pic that sums up how I feel about this story.

There was once a small boy, who was born and raised in West Philadelphia. This boy was an energetic, and he spent his days on the playground. He relaxed with his friends, played basketball, and hung out with his friends outside of the school. But then along came a bunch of mean kids. They bullied people in the neighborhood, generally up to no good. This made the boy very mad, and he got into a fight. This scared his poor mother, and she sent him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel-air.

Bjornen sover,
Bjornen sover,
i sin lune bo.
Han er ikke farlig,
når man blot er varlig.
Men man kan dog,
men man kan dog,
aldrig på ham tro.

"Once upon a time there was a bad magistrate who took gold from criminal organizations to reduce the sentences and fines of criminals. Everybody knew he was doing this, but nobody could prove it. Because even if it could be proved, the bad magistrate had important friends, and proof is not as powerful as important friends."
"At the same time there was a good officer who enforced the laws because he thought laws made people happy and safe. And it bothered the good officer that enforcing the laws did no good, because the bad magistrate let the criminals go as quick as the officer caught them."
"For a long time, the good officer sighed, and said, 'What can I do? Because the bad magistrate has important friends, and nothing I can do will touch him.' But then, the good officer said, 'Say. Wait a minute. What about the bad people who are BRIBING the bad magistrate? THEY haven't got important friends. And if they aren't around, then the bad magistrate can't get any more bribes.'"
"And even better, the good officer suspected that the bad people who were bribing the bad magistrate were probably criminals themselves. So the good officer decided that it would be good if the bad people who were bribing the bad magistrate should go away. Forever."
"So that good officer made a little special prayer that there would be a little bloodbath to wash the bad people away. There. Isn't that a nice little story? Maybe not a perfect story. Because it ends with a prayer, and not a bloodbath. But maybe the story isn't over yet."

Thank you. I liked these stories. I sleep now.

Proper story's supposed to start at the beginning. Not so simple with this one.

desu I didn't know he'd clear your fines and sheeit so I just bantered the guys into attacking me.

you get a skillbook for doing it that way anyway, which is nice since they tend to be hard to find and you can do that quest pretty early

...

This is the first time i see Anzu's vagina

Based

holy fuck dude

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