/bant I wanna see how creative you are, make a WTF story but only using 3 lines

/bant I wanna see how creative you are, make a WTF story but only using 3 lines.

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Today I woke up.

And shat

Oh, Three lines. Okay.

Today I woke up.
I still exist.
Pls hlp.

how can i hlp

very nice

A pack of niggers
Raped my pure virgin girlfriend
And I liked it much

Monkeys come in groups called a troop, barrel, carload, cartload, or tribe. Moose come in groups called a herd, NOT A PACK

has r/banter ever been in a shower washing your hair but you drop some shampoo by accident but you dont notice it then you try putting the shampoo bottle back but you step on the shampoo youve dropped so your foot slips and you hit the back of your head on a faucet so hard your skulls cracks and there is blood everywhere but you are really horny and you havent fapped in four days so you start banging your cracked skull on the faucet again and again until you get a 1.5 inch chunk out and its really sharp and you stick it up your ass and the pain of your head causes you to clench your ass so the inside of your gut is cut and lacerated by the skull fragment so blood starts spurting out your ass so you block the shower drain and turn on the faucet until your bathing is a pool of your own blood and chunks of your gut lining and then you reach back into the part of your skull that you cracked you snap another bit off and use it to spoon out a lump of your own brain and you start rubbing it against your cock and it feels really good and soft and you start to lose your awareness so you begin to slip into the pool of blood and everything else and you have trouble breathing and the huge blood loss means you havent got that much oxygen in your brain so you feel intense euphoria and then you bend over and cum into the exposed part of your skull and you have got a semen and blood mixture inside of your skull but at this point you have lost half the blood in your body so you fall unconscious and you drown as you slip into the blood pool even more and the skull fragment in your ass has managed to swim up through your digestive system up into your throat at which point it starts cutting your throat and filling it with blood and you subconciously gargle it and then die as your bath is overloaded with water and your blood and brain fragments flood out onto your apartment

all one line

They could have spent a few more seconds cutting around his fingers. Honestly.