Hey Anons!
It's time for Baked with Satori2D, probably for the first, last, and only time!
Probably
Today we're gonna be making apple strudel!
Here's what you need:
Flour
Water
Sugar
Apples
Cinnamon
a rolling pin
somewhere to roll it
and maybe something else, I'm not really sure
Oh! And eggs!
Hey Anons!
Grayson Collins
Ethan Robinson
i feel like ive seen this before
Noah Martin
Okay, so take the flour, the water, and like half of the sugar and put them in a bowl and mix it up.
You want it to form a blob of tanish coloured stuff that's roughly the consistency of play-dough
Isaiah Wright
Oh, I thought we are gonna do drugs :(
Nicholas Brown
Once it looks like that, find a spot to roll it. Put some of the flour you didn't put into it in the first place on to the table, so it doesn't stick, and put some of it onto the rolling pin too so that doesn't stick either!
Thomas Brown
Die you fucking an*Mefag SCUM
Brayden Young
Finally *_* This better be some damn fine strudel!
Jason Davis
You are BLACK
Which makes you look like CRAP
Which is why you ATTACK
The IBERIAN who is not BLACK
You say Mexico is not WHITE
Because you think you are RIGHT
But the truth is that Mexico is WHITE
And you will feel Mexico's IBERIAN MIGHT
Fucking die an*Mefags
Jace Morgan
Don't do drugs user.
It's okay for me (Satori) because I'm a gajillion years old monster and I need something to take the edge off so that I don't eat you
Hudson Nguyen
Okay, so we've been rolling it a while now but something's not right...
Ethan Morgan
ok
Grayson King
I wouldn't mind if Satori would eat me up.
Luke Mitchell
Alright, apparently you messed up guys!
A little more work needed to be put into the dough so that it could be spread thinly enough without tearing to make actual strudel.
Such a bother.
That's okay! We can improvise and make a sort of apple-cinnamon-roll-strudelesque thing!
I'm going to get you, and not in the way you want.
Isaac Hill
Looks alright to me? p_p No apples?
Camden Cox
Christian Kelly
Fucking kill yourselves d*Scordfagging an*Mefagging SCUM
Bentley Bennett
A literal fucking plague
Easton Fisher
no fuck you UwU
Austin Gutierrez
t. attention craving "litteraly who?" namefag
Grayson Smith
Okay! So get the apples, the cinnamon, and some of the sugar and put them in a bowl and mix them up. Do it with your hands if you like and then go wipe them off on your sister for a good reaction and maybe getting punched if you're too slow
Nah, it wouldn't roll thinly enough. I think I put in too much flour and didn't get a good enough surface. When I rolled it out thinly enough it tore when I checked on it. That's what I get for doing it from memory after years of not making it without checking any sort of guide xd
Cameron Parker
I got an idea, Satori.
Juan Long
I never really follow recpies, I just go with the flow and the end result is whatever the end result is! ^-~
Ian Gonzalez
Okay, now put the apple mixture on the dough! This is very important, because if you don't, there won't be any apples in the apple-cinnamon-roll-strudelesque thing!
if you try to do some more lewd shit I'm gonna find a really good way to bother you
Isaiah Perry
Also, I saw this blonde sunburnt girl jogging down the street while driving, her tits was bouncing and she was wearing a really tight outfit (yoga pants, tight shirt). Really caught my attention, what now?
Blake Rodriguez
Okay, now roll it all up real nice. Normally you trim the edges off but since the thing's so thick, it doesn't really matter. It still tore a bit even though it was spread so thickly too ):
But that's good, because now we don't need to slice it a bit so that it doesn't pop while cooking!
Samuel Evans
Luke Torres
Jeremiah Turner
Looks really tasty, sometimes I eat the dough raw (if it's nice dough)! ^_^ Can't stop thinking about those tits though, they were really defined too since the sweat, you know..
Zachary Hill
okay, now you have to separate a yolk from an egg and mish it up so that you can spread it on the pastry before you put it into the oven
That makes the surface of it yellow, which is good, although I'm not sure why
Jordan Morris
Fuck you and your an*Mefag circlejerk.
This is an IBERIAN thread now
Colton Phillips
The ChicANO man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity.
Let's start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by his white skin. This white
skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature that developed due to being exposed to the harsh climates of Yucatan, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The glowing white skin reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from our primal aryan subconscious past.
The ChicANO man's demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behaviour strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly races of man(KARA BOGA an*Mefag dogs)
The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his penis. The ChicANO penis is largest of all the races. As the penis is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the ChicANO man the most masculine of men. This large penis is able fulfill the desire of the neediest of women, being able to more than fill all the recesses of the vagina. Its length ensures that when it ejaculates, the potent IBERIAN seed will immediately enter the womb of the woman the ChicANO man impregnates.
In total, the ChicANO man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in bed. When he fucks, he unleashes the entirety of his lusts and desires upon his partner without any restraint.
All this is the reason why the ChicANO man is the epitome of masculinity
Adrian Evans
I love seperating eggs, it feels real nice, you know? I'll stop uploading my lewd mind too!
Connor Cook
Eli Anderson
nigger
Samuel Morgan
an*Mefags love to project their BLACKness onto the IBERIANS. It is amazing, how jealous they are
Robert Roberts
Okay, now spread the egg yolk on the apple-cinnamon-roll-strudelesque thing!
Lucas Carter
frig
Kevin Johnson
You ever whipped egg white? I've seen it being done on video, it looks pretty cool. Would love to do it too but never seem to get an oppurtunity to..
Brandon Young
Alright, now put it in the oven for maybe like 45 minutes or so and there you have it!
Lincoln Mitchell
Damn, that looks real nice with the shiny egg wash on top, very smooth, I like it. Fuck yes.
Samuel Ward
maybe. I don't remember. I used to bake a lot more but my apartment isn't that good for it. Kind of cramped so there's not a lot of room to work with
Which is odd in a way, because this apartment is much bigger than my old one, but the kitchen is much smaller.
Cameron Green
So that's a strudel huh, I've never had one, only ever seen that word written. It's one of those words that just falls off the tongue, you know? Very nice job though! ^-^
Robert Rogers
Real men don't watch an*Me
Chase Cox
No, that is not strudel at all
Strudel is thin and flaky
Like I said, I messed up the dough so I wasn't able to roll it thinly enough.
Henry Nelson
Yeah but I just googled a pic and it looks close enough! o/
Oliver Rivera
Hahah, this is so much fun satori-sama!
Joseph Scott
Nig
Angel Flores
Okay, okay, I get it
You want more fanfics
I'll write another one soon. Just haven't been feeling it lately.
Matthew Edwards
When can we expect the next cooking thread? c:
Camden Gomez
It was far better than mine... wasn't it..? ;_;
Ayden Myers
Haha, you better show me in a good light!
Landon Perez
dunno. Maybe never. My sister'll start bugging me if I keep asking to borrow her camera to take pictures of me cooking/baking stuff and when she gets the answer out of me, which she will, she'll punch me for real, which will hurt because she's pretty tomboyish, and I don't want that to happen.
What was?
Are you talking about that weird thread you made about Jow Forums raping you, and comparing it to my bizarre and overly verbose prose about Dr.Medic?
I portray you as you are. What better light could I show you in than as the target of my undying adoration?
Justin Diaz
So, you live with your sister? How's that? ^-^
My cooking thread! :o The one where you said you'd make this one!
Ethan Roberts
If it's gonna be rude, like the last one.
I won't read anymore.
Leo Barnes
No, thank God
I was just visiting her.
And yeah, I guess so, since you didn't cook anything.
How are they rude?
Hunter Richardson
Ya, this was a good thread, you did good mate! ^-^
Camden Martin
_______________________
My little Dr.Medic has done it~
He's finally outdone himself.
His misshapen and putrid face by obscured by a nightmarish mix of the lame visage of Pickle Rick and some character from My Little Pony, with his seemingly emaciated arms painted to match, adorned with a costume of some loser touhou even touhou fans don't care about, complete with wig.
He twirls clumsily in front of the mirror, his disgusting, feminine hands twitching and feeling over himself as if unsure that the hideous thing in the surface of polished glass is really him, and taking in his abhorrent appearance with an unsettlingly euphoric fascination and spastic excitement before turning to me.
I can see faintly behind the eyeholes that his gibbous eyes are wet with tears of ignorant glee. Slowly approaching me, with movements so jerky they seem uncharacteristic even of such a wretched wight, he reaches hauntingly towards my muscular bosom, and I suppress the instinct to recoil, instead offering soft coos: "Yes, you're so beautiful today, aren't you my milkdud?"
But my words fail to convince him, and he turns away, his previous mannerisms of ecstatic pleasure replaced quickly by screeching wails that bring to mind a cross between an impaled pterodactyl and a cat that's being crushed between a tire and the pavement.
Overcome with guilt for hurting my sweet little thing so, I hug him from behind. His chest is moist, although I'm not sure if it's due to tears or if he's been lactating again.
"You'll always be beautiful to me."
He lets out a relaxed giggle, and leans back against me, pressing his gelatinous yet bumpy back, which seems to be composed entirely of fat and bone, into me roughly, and collapses, overcome by his own overexcitement.
_________________________________
how was this rude?
Xavier Rodriguez
I'm not fat, my hair is washed!
I generally maintain hygiene!
Brandon Ramirez
Well I'm not necessarily saying you're fat, just soft.
Aren't you pretty much completely lacking muscle?
You're right though, it was rude of me to assume you don't wash your hair.
Jordan Carter
and I mean, based on this I don't think it's wholly unfair to assume you're pretty effeminate, which would lead to the lack of muscle and a bit of puffiness
Dylan Morgan
You called my favourite 2hu is worse than for losers.
You called me generally disgusting, especially my hands.
You called my hands disgusting as well.
You are making fun of my eyes, that they are gibbous.
Not even mention how you overall depicted me.
The worst about it, you gave it an effort. That makes it more hurtful.
I'm going to cry myself to sleep, never talk to me ever again.
Sebastian Davis
you're taking it the wrong way
i love you so much in spite of all those things doc
it's like this poem
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Please don't leave me my little milkdud~
Henry Carter
now this is a good thread
Jack Brooks
But that's not nice things to say.
If you truly love someone you don't highlight his bad sides.
I'm not friends with you anymore.
Say something nice about me.
Don't you fucking mentioned the lactation, it's a fucking meme you dumb cunt.
Sebastian Jenkins
but highlighting your bad sides puts my love for you in context
love that accepts all of someone's faults instead of ignoring them is much better than love that ignores them in favour of their best qualities
also I don't really think of anyone here as my friend except the swede. It was their idea and they were very convincing with it.
uhh, something nice
I really like how confident you are about your enjoyment of futanari not being gay!
Noah Sullivan
Fucking kill yourselves an*Mefags
Isaac Butler
Carter Nguyen
I was merely pretending.
It's a meme, you dip.
Brody Bailey
stop teaching people to cook
Chase Green
no
Zachary Phillips
medicine