Man cooking with Normie

Welcome to man cooking with Normie. You're all a bunch of sissy poofs eating salted watermelon and giving your money to roasties so I'm going to teach you how to cook a man meal.
Today's meal is bratwurst with macaroni and cheese. I'm not going to explain how to follow instructions on a box to make mac so let's just get right at it.
First things first you'll need propane and a grill. Luckily I have both right here.
So lets get it hooked up.

Attached: 20180802_164620.jpg (2576x1932, 1.14M)

This is going to be cancer

wtf is brad worst

>mac and cheese
fat fuck

propaning in a booby bread

Attached: propane.jpg (817x427, 44K)

My grill has a nice little spot for the propane. Yours might not but that's okay. That hose connects to the propane tank screw that shit in. Remember to have the valve in the off position beforehand.
Fuck you Dane get out of my thread.

Attached: 20180802_164651.jpg (2576x1932, 1.25M)

TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT

Attached: normienormienormienormienormienormienormienormienormienormie.png (460x377, 230K)

After you've hooked up your propane it's time for my favorite part. Turning on the gas. I like to pretend my grill is full of little Jews so I make sure to turn the gas all the way on.
German sausage.
Fuck you mac is great.

Attached: 20180802_164717.jpg (2576x1932, 1.22M)

>German sausage
low key ERP thread? I didn't realize you collected a german for your harem
explains his name though

TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT

TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT
better than alice 3d

Now put your brauts on the grill.
Some people put them in the back some in the front. I prefer to put them in the middle. The closer you put them to the source of flame the more browned they'll get. Some people like them less browned. It's really all your choice.
Uh no. Cooking thread gaybo take that shit somewhere else.

Attached: 20180802_165204.jpg (2576x1932, 1.31M)

Shut up

New meme: taste the meat not the heat

NIGGER

NIGGER NIGGER

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

After you've placed the brauts on the grill and you're waiting for it to warm up close the lid. This seals in the heat and you can monitor how hot it is from the gauge on the lid. Yours may not have this. If not that's okay it's not super important.

Attached: 20180802_165248.jpg (2576x1932, 1.22M)

...

it was just a prank
also please keep posting and don't mind us meming in the thread, I like cooking
lole you can't even taste the meat
loleeeeeee

Attached: this stupid bitch is laughing at you too.jpg (800x450, 39K)

As you can see we're getting quite hot in there. Those tiny Jews that are left should be dead by now. Don't worry they add flavor. Once you're up to about 200 degrees American big mac units you should check on your brauts inside. Typically you want to grill at 350 degrees.
Let's check on those brauts.
Glad you enjoy it. Imma post it regardless.

Attached: 20180802_165419.jpg (2576x1932, 1.33M)

Hmmmm they're not quite ready to be flipped yet. They're definitely coming along nicely. Bratwurst turn a greetings grey tan color when they're cooking because they're pork. Muslims need not pay attention to this thread. We'll wait a while before we flip these.

Attached: 20180802_165641.jpg (2576x1932, 1.4M)

While you're waiting take some time to pet your doggo. She loves you and is concerned about how much time you spend online. This is very important because of you don't pet your doggo they might steal your brauts.
Dogs love brauts.

Attached: 20180802_165350.jpg (2576x1932, 1.18M)

you're grilling literally three sausages stfu

cute!
cool thread though I love grillin stuff

Alright lets see how they're doing. They're starting to plump which is good. It means the juices inside are almost ready to come out (No homo). Underneath you'll start to see golden brown grill lines. Go ahead and flip those bitches now.
Hurr durr I have to cook a million brauts. Fuck off bong I'm cooking for 2 other people not an army.

Attached: 20180802_165805.jpg (2576x1932, 1.41M)

what type of dog is that?
It looks really small.
I think your dog might have autism dude.

ur supposed to be grillin like a real man...
and you're grillin literally three sausages
thats like
a small boy's idea of grilling
im disappointed in you

>using the built in thermometer on a grill

want to know how i know you're a fucking pleb and not a man?

make sure kimmy gets the best braut, bob

Mmm don't those look delicious already. They're coming along nicely. Normally you'd have another man here to compliment the meat but I guess I'll compliment them myself.
Be sure to tell the meat how good and tasty it looks. It needs it.
Now we'll have to cut some slits to let the juices out.
She's just an old mutt. I dunno what breed she is. I think she's got some shitzu.

Attached: 20180802_165844.jpg (2576x1932, 1.31M)

theyre not even that big how are you supposed to feed 2 other people with literally three sausages

>1 brat per person
>cooking brats instead of steaks
>using gas instead of charcoal

just kill yourself and get it over with now. you're a goddamned disgrace.

Now I know that some men will just use their bare hands you cut it with their Bowie knoife (bongs need not apply) but I don't want to touch these nice brauts with my dirty el goblino hands. I don't think you'd want me to either.
They only wanted one. Not my fault this is just a light snack. Burgers come later tonight.
>charcoal
TASTE THE MEAT NOT THE HEAT

Attached: 20180802_170012.jpg (2576x1932, 1.25M)

he makes mac and cheese too though
still a light dinner but definitely a meal

let's count the ways OP has fucked up

1)

Now this is the most important. You need to pick one up...

Attached: 20180802_170348.jpg (2576x1932, 1.18M)

And put it back exactly as you found it.

Attached: 20180802_170352.jpg (2576x1932, 1.37M)

that's not manly at all you need steak and more meat and less shitty little sausages u couldve just done that in the kitchen if youre gonna make bitch food

1) using a filthy fucking grill that even applebees wouldn't touch
2) using propane instead of charcoal
3) cooking brats instead of steak
4) using a built in thermometer instead of a highly accurate blue tooth one
5) cutting into the meat and letting out the juices
6) only cooking 1 fucking tiny brat per person
7) cooking brats instead of a steak (so fucked up it counts twice)

The brauts will take between 15 and 20 minutes to cook. You'll know they're done when they get brown. Be careful not to cook them too long as you can see I've got a little char on these but they're still good.
At this point turn off your grill and plate them. They should look something like this.
Usually I'd have a lot more than these but I'm just cooking a quick meal.
If you want more you can make more. These steps only apply to brauts and moot steaks or dogs.

Attached: 20180802_171109.jpg (2576x1932, 1.01M)

Now that all that's done your gf should be done with the side dishes. That's her job and if she's not doing it kick that bitch out for wasting your time. Men cook the meat women cut vegetables. This is the cheap mac my wife made. It's not good it's not bad it's mac from a box. You've seen it a million times.

Attached: 20180802_171225.jpg (2576x1932, 1.28M)

ade, listen up. Normie's giving you good advice.

do you put neon green relish on the brats?

was it pre eaten?

Put your brauts on a bun and add mustard. Some people use sauerkraut too but I don't.
You're now done. Enjoy your light snack you fat disgusting fuck.
Next time we cook streak and burgers to show you how to host a bbq.
Alice 3D can lick my hairy gay asshole.
Donate to my discord and support me on MySpace and watch me play WoW on Chaturbate.
See you next time.
Go outside.
Yeah. Some people just can't wait for the meat to finish cooking. No harm no foul.

Attached: 20180802_171558.jpg (2576x1932, 1.68M)

Shit, that looks nice

pretty unhealthy meal tb h

bratwurst? more like BRAPWORST

Attached: 1258758441162.jpg (236x252, 7K)

Thanks. I was gonna make fries too but I didn't want bant to make fun of me for my gay ass air fryer.
Is it food? Yes.
Is it delicious? Oh yeah.
I don't see a problem here.

Attached: 1532676230264.jpg (700x699, 111K)

W-what a fantastic thread! Nice OC Normie!

Attached: 1371461717889.png (313x262, 113K)

not a problem
just an observation

Never used an air fryer before. Might get one instead of our deep fryer

Oh well carry on then.
What would you like to see made as a side next time?
Don't they fucking suck. They're good for healthy food but deep fryers have better taste.
Thanks. Unless that's Alice in which case see above.

Lastly be sure to not give table scraps to your doggo or else he'll get fat like this faggot. He eats everything and he's so fucking fat look at him!

Attached: 20180802_170130.jpg (2576x1932, 1.29M)

I s-saw

Attached: 1371464075403.gif (305x254, 20K)

What's the problem with Alice?

Leave Alice and don't come back. I'm making these threads to get your whore ass out of here. So fuck off and die tranny.
Notice how I cooked a meal and didn't have to have a Patreon and Twitch to do it? Yeah that's the problem. I'm going to show you fools how to cook without asking for money or being a whore in a bikini.

Attached: 1493419643966.jpg (377x377, 27K)

Pretty based

corn on the cob
maybe a salad
mushroom sauce
also i think firing up a bbq and not cooking some onions is a crime here

I'm a b-biological girl dear, and I'm n-not leaving.
This won't in any way s-stop me; if anything, it's encouraging

Attached: 1371463630632.jpg (600x750, 115K)

#7 is actually worth -10 and took this thread from mildly ok to pure cancer.

TL:DR OP is a faggot.

Ah c-come on. Steaks are played out.

Attached: 1371463405438.jpg (602x850, 117K)

I would agree with you if he was cooking a proper meal instead of a light snack

n-n-n-no you have a d-d-d-d-dick

So steak, corn and salad. You got it. I'll have to go buy some ears of corn and some onions.
Bitch I've seen your Twitch you get paid to just sit around you're not fooling me. You prey on dumb NEETs to give you money because you can't be bothered to get a real job like the roastie you are.
The fact that you would have places like this to donate money to while saying "tehee it's just a joke" all the while collecting NEET allowance money on Twitch is disgusting. What's even worse is you don't actually care about bant. You just need more followers and think you'll get them here.
Fuck out my bant and neck yourself.

Attached: fucking alice.png (2806x1044, 680K)

Ooops, I said and not 5. Mybad.

Be nice to Alice.

Nice trips.
Literally nothing wrong with running a twitch though.

You seem like a pretty angry bitter asshole.

Fuck you and that roastie hoe. If you beg for money online you're the equivalent of an online hobo.
>tehee I'm a girl on Twitch so you should give me money
You seem like a beta cuck who kisses prostitutes.

Attached: 118775522.jpg (301x167, 7K)

wtf he can change the colour of his fur?
fuck's sakes man you don't even show up until the bitchery starts
I like Alice too but find something better to do with your time than white knighting like a little fag

No. I have 2 dogs. One male one female. The black one is his gf. He's a dirty race mixer.

S-sorry, I don't

Attached: 1371463626960.jpg (257x309, 45K)

Yeah but that's not begging for money.
Having a twitch isn't money begging you fucking autist.

How can I help when I literally ARRIVE in the thread? I'm not omniscient

Reminder that I called it

>I'm not omniscient
that sure is fucking convenient. Fag excuse for a fag poster

Fuck off Alice. We all know your game. Get out of my thread and fuck off back to /b/.
>I'm sitting on the street corner with a jar in front of me but I'm not begging
Fuck out my thread and go donate more to Alice.
You did. You definitely did. Good job dane.

Since Alice is here I'm out yall. I'll see you next time on Man Cooking with Normie.

Attached: 1508461218798.gif (320x180, 326K)

I've b-been reading this over and over again f-for a full two minutes. Isn't not being omniscient t-the least convenient thing possible, b-by definition?

Attached: 1371463919305.jpg (149x146, 38K)

wtf I love cancer now
>I have a full time job that I work at every day of the week, which is why I don't do threads until after work at around 7 to 8 PM EST.
Also a convenient excuse for not responding to my baking challenge thread. Your fear is palpable

>using a service to stream is the same as being on a street with a jar in front of you

T-that's retarded.

I d-didn't see such a thread, but f-feel free to link me...?

Attached: 1371464497952.jpg (760x1111, 225K)

I don't care for you because you preach about helping people and talking with them about their problems, but every time I've posted in your threads you ignored me

Is this true Alice?

M-my sincerest apologies, but I d-do miss people from time to time. Feel f-free to email me if I m-miss you.

Nah.

Attached: 1371463465608.jpg (245x242, 57K)

>I've b-been reading this over and over again f-for a full two minutes.
my little avatarfag can't be this cute~
Seriously though, I'd think a lack of seriousness should have been pretty evident
this

W-w-w-well f-f-f-f-fuck your h-h-h-h-h-hat.

hurts don't it

I know it's a j-joke but it's hijacking my brain!
T-THE SKY IS THE COSMOSSSSSSS

Attached: 1371461531702.jpg (236x516, 76K)

What lmao
Who the fuck gets THIS mad at someone that literally came into their thread to sincerly compliment them?

Is there something wrong with you?

frankly, I'd rather have nothing to do with you at this point

That is your c-choice, but I'm n-not sure why you'd be so put off b-by someone missing your posts that you'd w-want nothing to do with them at all.

That seems a little hasty to me. I'm only human you know.

Attached: 1371463138315.jpg (550x500, 193K)

Propane tank is new. Grill isn’t. Let’s go.

The irony of course is that you also posted in THIS thread earlier: And nobody replied to that either.

Suck it up you fucking crybaby

I w-wasn't going to say it....

Attached: 1371461687140.jpg (530x707, 146K)

a whoooooooooooooooooooooooooole thread for grilling three fugly sausages.

Attached: slightly upset deedlit.jpg (612x477, 49K)

What is it with aussies and having an obsession over alice

I will.

He's a kiwi but it's basically the same thing

summoning chen and gayreek for an ultimate cancer storm

Attached: no mercy.jpg (500x281, 29K)

You're obsessed. Get some fresh air.

didn't see chen all day today.
I will never stop laughing if he actually killed himself over gay erp bf

He was around earlier. He made a thread begging the faggot greek to pay attention to him again