I have been with my wife for 15 years. We have been together almost half as long as we've been alive. The prospect of a virgin marriage (both for me to be and my future wife) was a very important thing. I dated girls and if they had been promiscuous, that was a deal breaker. To make a long story short, my wife lied to me about being a virgin. I only just found out a few days ago. She is unaware of how many people she may have slept with, due to heavily using pot and alcohol her freshman year of college. She has been with at least 2 guys while conscious, and possibly 9 or more others (potential baseball team gangbang) while drunk/high. I knew that she had a rough past, due to her getting kicked out of that same college (for marijuana possession) and that was a big enough hurdle for me to get over. I have always been a drug free/alcohol free person... She has also been since getting with me. How do you think I should handle this situation? She admitted to lying to me because she knew I would not have been interested in her otherwise...
I married a lying roastie =(
gtfo u lying sack of poop.
why the harsh accusation? i am in no way lying.
or are you suggesting that should be my reaction?
You won't do shit, because you and her both know you won't do any better than her.
She probably still gets some behind your back and is waiting for the perfect opportunity to divorce you and grab half your shit.
She most likely hates you secretly anyway, no relationship is stable for 15 years.
So enjoy your sloppy seconds while you stil can
i'm calling you a liar. Idk what's up with this women are lying whores rhetoric on Jow Forums.
It the past it not like she been cheating and sleeping with man sance you been marry. Yes lieing is bad but are you saying that if she told you the truth you would habe still end up marryed her. I know say you should fully trust her all I say it I don't think giveing up 15 year is worth over this. When people life been fuck up the ownly thing they know how too do it lie about it so that they may end up haveing a good life
she swears she hasn't (i know, she lied). so it's impossible to know if she has cheated or not. she's actually scared to death i am going to leave her. we have a daughter together.
this isn't rhetoric. it's 100% true and what i am currently living.
we have had a good life together up until now. it's just incredibly weird to me for something that i believed for so long to only just now be coming to light as false.
ok then,
relationships take a lot of work, deal with it.
the whole topic came up because of our daughter being born. i read some articles on telegony and microchimerism that made me question her deeper about her past. i'm surprised she actually finally told the truth.
Just ignore that you ever heard that and then your marriage will not likely end in divorce
it's pretty hard for me to ignore. divorce does sound like it would be a terrible turn for my life.
Let me ask something do you still love her?
If you do can you really say you did what you can too fix this. Or even look at you little girl and be like "daddy sorry he try eveything he could too fix thing with mommy" if you live her you try at leat go too couples therapy with her. It won't go back too be same with a snap of the finger but so what if she been with many people in the past and she was afrind of this hapen too her. Yes she regaining trust will not be simple but just give up and leaveing her like this it not right. What if this you little girl was in this place and she was you wife. What would you want her hasband to do? Remember how you act it is the type of man she will go for.
And one more thing OP i marry what is a male roasty and I have been dateing man that a not Roasty and been hurt and see so much that they know how much you are worth and will love and treat you far better then a women who never see anything beside you. Why becases they know they pain and the hard ships they dont. That why you life been good becases she she been round and know and can see how great you are
if we raise our daughter right, the hope is that she won't make the same mistakes her mother did. of course i have love for my wife. she's all i've known now for so long.
Forgot my name
A spanking followed by a couple of days of being tied up naked listening to Jesus CDs.
Then make her smoke all of the marijuanas until she's retarded, and reeducate her from scratch.
lol to the reeducation dungeon! i'm not religious, so the jesus cds have to go.
But you don't know you little girl in human and in the women sorry but a girl will at leat habe sex 2 or 3 time befor she meet the right one. And make bad choices don't make you bad. I tell you this form someone who had study child development if you don't try and safe this she will grow up thinking and with a fear that if she make a bad choices that you and well as other will leave her so fast her head spins just like you want too do with you wife now.
what's the point of having sex 2 or 3 times before meeting the right one? what does sex have to do with love and a lifelong relationship? the idea of sex for immense pleasure is a ruse... and it's something to distract people from things that really matter.. sex with ones spouse should be the only thing anyone knows. comparison is the bane of happiness.
Life is not that back and white and love it not too you might love some one and think there one right one and they give them self too them too ownly fine out there and not. Let say you little girl live her life dateing people but never dose more then a kiss and then she marry someone who she fine out she dose not love or could even be worst for her. Most girl who marry as virgin end up with dick bag who abuse them and the girl will say simple over the free and no one want them. What it this was you little girl who marry a man she love ownly too end up so unhappy she want too leave him but over what she knows. What her father show her she know the ownly way is too end it.
You wife had a fuck up life then fell in love with you and could see how great you are and just want too be your. You don't think she all ready hate her self for have too lie or for the shit she did. But she told you I bet when she told you the one thing in her mind was "He love me and I know he dose I sure he love me so much that he willing too work throw anything with me like her promise me" did You love her for who she was or for her vigain being clean.
She also learned how to fake being a virgin by slutting it up in college. Reeducation dungeon is a must.
...
>I'm not religious,
there's your first problem
elaborate, please.
OP my phone about do died so I will give you my ponit in all of this take it how you will.
Frist, get over her not being a vigain if you really love and understand her you understand that her pass it just that a pass. Next two of you should go too couples therapy so you can fix thing like trust for someone who know far better then you, your wife and me. Steep in too you life shoes and mind of what is is know and how it was back then. I hope you take this too heart form someone marryed too rostey and who is not one them self. And think about what your, your kid and you wife life will be if you juat leave and you don't go see couples therapy so that you can fix this the right way.
He should be careing about lieing not about how she was not a vigain people on bant will be single for the rest of the life ownly 2% of you might fine a girl who is a virgin. I not trying too be rude it the truth fully
pretend to be, roasties need something like that to /believe/ in, but it's probably too late.
Okay user, honest answer coming in:
Sexual desires are natural for humans and waiting for marriage is noble but very rare. My point is, its not important at all if she had previous sexual partners or not. It doesn't affect your current relationship.
The only part I would be mad about is, that she lied at you.
Now its up to you to decide if this is enough to dump her or not.
>what does sex have to do with love and a lifelong relationship
Everything, sex is more or less important to different people. There are people who would fuck 5 times a day if possible and others are ok with having sex once a year. Its a biological urge and very hard to understand if you don't have it or just have a weak one.
So, are you happy with your marriage? Do you still love her? I would try to forgive her for her lying.
Don't listen to the memers.
How can you have a daughter and not know she wasn't a virgin you turboretard
Seem like you the ownly other person here that know what up.
You trusted a female, what did you expect? They all had more dick in them than a marathon is long.
Virgins are overrated anyway desu.
But reeducation isn't.
>how you act it is the type of man she will go for
Yes, the stupid beta provider she settles for now that she is done riding the cock carousel. GTFO of here with this whore deception.
Yes, we know women are whores. Doesn't mean you shouldn't call you out on your bullshit.
You are dumb as heck.
>cock carousel
incel lingo
thanks for the chat.
actually, when we met, we were religious... so the idea did not seem far fetched. to this day her father does ministry work.
i know sexual urges are natural. it's something that helps propel the species forward. the ultimate goal of sex as a biological function is reproduction, not pleasure... pleasure can be a side effect. we as humans have the power to ignore urges, however... we aren't absolute apes. we should also be decent to the ones we say we love and tell the truth when asked any question.
that's a cynical, and hopefully for the sake of humanity, partially untrue statement!
she's actually been pretty thoroughly reeducated. reeducation is a must for this crazy world we live in.
u sound like a boring dude who needs to live a little
True, I think the most of bant problem it that no matter what is said or the amount of education. They rather to sad and anger about how they can't fine a virgin girl.
No she did not settle she wanted too fine love she know sex for sex it ponitless and dosw nothing for any one love and sex it what eveyone want.
Some women are but have sex with men or women dont make a whore. Whore have STD whores don't get marryed and have a kid. You can be a whore and not have sex.
I know how hard it can be I not saying it not shit what you habe too deal with but I juat don't want too see you let or all go for this. And for you too think of how would you want her too hand it if there you was the one who was on her place.
trash tier trolling
It's not trolling if it's true that you're a dumbass.
>the ultimate goal of sex as a biological function is reproduction, not pleasure
Yes, and to make people do it, it releases happy hormones, same as eating for example. And since it is fun and everyone says its natural and stuff, how can you blame your wife for enjoying herself when she was a horny teenager? I mean, if it really is such a big deal for you, maybe break up with her. I wouldn't ruin your daughters life that lightly, but its your choice. If the fact that she "can't control her urges" the same as you did (Even though your urges are not the same, and she might have had even higher urges, or no one told her staying virgin was important) is a dealbreaker to you, so be it. I would be mad she lied at me, but I guess she had good reasons for it: She loves you.
>be decent to the ones we say we love and tell the truth when asked any question.
Yeah, I get that this is a important lie and you feel bad because of it. But still, come on, you never lie to loved ones? You never told a lie that grew untill you had to give it up?
Especially as a teenager, people lie a lot. To their parents, partners and everyone else too.
Welp, that was all I had to say user. I hope you make a good decision.
You are alright user. Its nice of you trying to do the right thing!
One advice though: Try to distance yourself from the story and only take the information provided by the person asking for advice. You assume a few things we don't know.
>No she did not settle she wanted too fine love
This for example, we don't know her intentions. You can only guess what they were based on what OP said but we cannot know so its bad form to assume imo.
No offense. Its still nice of you.
No i can see you ponit just because husband has not settled dose not mean that he wife did not thank you for this ponit next time something like this come up I will know better how too hand it. And being offended dose not mean that someone is wrong. Not that i was ownly that real offend me is when someone said I a rude person a lot of the time or I am a whore or a women that not a whore and juat like sleeping with people. Seeing that thoese on not ture. I bed time now hasband start has school or appointment too get in too Bar Tendeing school tomrrow. Pay that I will be able too sleep night.
I actually meant the sarcastic and sadistic kind.
At the end of the day, a good sense of humour solves everything.
she lies to you to present herself as someone you would be interested and like. she lies because she isn’t that person. if she has been putting on a facade the whole time, that means you’ve been in love with a lie man.
Leave her user
seriously dude wtf . if you didn't pop her cherry then..... OP is fucking stupid
>I have always been a drug free/alcohol free person
Degenerate
Why do you lie on the internet?
You don't have a wife
good shitpost
Why are you married in the first place? That's a really retarded concept; kek, she had fun with everyone and then when she got fed up by taking so much cocks she found the idiot to settle down with; you deserve this and even worse.
i'm pretty certain its just a pasta from Jow Forums
seen it before many times
This
Dude it's not a big deal. If you think she having had sex with other guys in her life is a problem, you have a problem. With your life. If you love her, keep her. If somehow your "moral sense" prevails, leave her.
ass