Welcome to Normies Gun Garage!

I never buy insurance
or fill out warranty cards
life on the edge for me

You got it m8.
Now I'm legally required to ask you if you're planning to use this to kill emus.
Are you using it to kill emus?
Because if you are I'm required to give you an extra box of hollow points.

Also someone keeps leaving these pieces of junk on my doorstep and in my postage slot. Please stop buying these....things, regretting it and trying to bring them back.
No refunds on AK's. AT ALL.

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got any Ak-15s?

Is this enough?
Well, no need to be stingy, i really need that suppressor

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>hollow points?
nothing short of full metal jacket rounds with military grade powder load can hope to penetrate emu combat armour
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?

do you have any 45 long colt?,the other stores sold out,

some how.

>Ak-15
OH GOD NO! Please...please don't buy this piece of shit. I beg of you don't make me sell this to you. It's overpriced, under performs and it is made of shitty composites. Please reconsider.
*takes (you)'s*
You were never here and never bought this. I don't even know you.
Good choice. I especially like the large charging handle on this one.
Hey man I just gotta follow the law (lol) like everyone else.
I can maybe give you a discount on some FMJ's.
How's 30% off sound?
Depends on what model you're looking for.

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alright what would you recommend?

it fits in this.

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Anything but an AK honestly. They're not as reliable as people say and they're not really that accurate.
For you leaf I suggest the M110 SASS. Especially since I assume you're sport shooting and not killing frogs/anime. It's got a nice 20 inch barrel, 20 round magazine and comes with a bipod.
This 7.62x51mm Armalite system is highly customizable, comfortable to shoot and you can reach out and touch someone to almost 900 yards.
.....get the fuck out of here. Why would you even want to let people know you own this? What the fuck is this Borderlands?
*sigh*
Whatever. They're reloaded but they're a little cheaper than standard ammunition. I'll sell you them but I can't say I will like it. They're 60% off the regular price and if you have any problems you can get a full refund so long as you bring back at least half the box.

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I'll take it

literally anything please

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You got it leaf. Every Armalite system I sell here comes with a 2 year warranty and 200 rounds of ammo. It's also half off because of the special.
So 1 M110 SASS, 200 .308 rounds (7.62x51mm) and a 2 year warranty.
That comes out to 5 (you)'s.
Will you be paying in hard currency or crypto today?
(note I do not accept Link or NEO)

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What can I get for six (you)s?

whats" border patrol''got to do with my raifu ,i take all the ammo.

I'll do hard currency since you don't accept link

that's a great discount

>M240b. It's a belt fed 7.62x51mm machine gun that is capable of endless rounds if your belts are long enough
Won't the barrel melt if it's used like that, and need to be swapped off?

Remington 870 Super Magnum.
You can't blow your brains out in the shop but there is a room in the back you can do it in.
I just got these beauties in. Ruger model 8500 5.56 AR. Take a look at this literature real quick. Super customizable and very fun to shoot. I've actually got 3 of these myself.
(look this gun up you can seriously get one for less than 500 bucks)
Do you normally pay full price?
Glad I could help you out here cowboy. Now you gonna go stop Buffalo Bill there stroker ace?
Good doing business with you leaf.
Do you mind if I ask what you're hunting?

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Thanks, I'll be paying in eth today.

Yeah but that's not really my problem. Would you rather me had said "caution your barrel might melt if you're an idiot"? I sell additional barrels here but if you're really that worried you can get an M60 which has a removable barrel for quick change outs.

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>I'll be paying in eth today.
lolololololololololololololololololololololol

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Ethereum purchase? Oooooooo.....k.
Once again I'm required to ask this by law.
Are you using this to hack the election? Because if you are I have to notify you that ISIS will backtrace your IP and call the internet police.

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different leaf, I don't really need an LMG
Don't really know too much about guns neither, but I was buddies with a marine who was assigned that or something similar to that for raiding houses or something like that, and I remember him talking about the barrel melting if it was used in that way

never,most places don't stock more than 3 or 4 boxes and at that it's gotten clearanced to make room for .45 acp or similar

plus it's always got dust on top.

just range use for now.

Definitely. Good rule of thumb is to never hold the trigger. You've gotta burst that shit and take a break to let the barrel cool or else you get pic related.
Shits fucked m8 but that's what America gets for shelving the M60.
That's fucked up man. I mean don't get me wrong I like .45 ACP as much as the next homo who walks in but come on. Some people like the .45 long and prefer it over the ACP but intentionally making it scarce just to push more ACP purchases is bullshit.
If getting the vietnamese kids in my basement to reload more .45 long gets me more customers like yourself I might just toss out my ACP. It's just not moving like it use to. Everyone wants a 9 nowadays.
Oh well then you might like to use our range. We actually use live targets instead of those bullshit paper ones.
I've got frogs, Cirno, anime and gays that you can shoot at. All captured by our professional team of blank faced nobodies and all our gays are 100% PD approved to be the most disgusting of gay posters.....no you can't shoot me. I'm in recovery.

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sounds good, I'd like to shoot some gays

You got a hanoi loader too!!

man i'll make this place the local stop erey week

Alright.
Any particular gays you'd like to shoot at?
I've got most the namefags.
You're damn fucking right I do!
Serves them slanty eyed gooks. This is what I call true revenge. I've got them making scrap 1911's for 70% off the sticker price of whatever maker you want if you want to take a look.

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anyone will do

Alright I'll set you up with 5 Cute™ targets. They seem to be flying off the shelves lately.
If they start bolting for the door push the panic button and an associate will corral them back. Any that get away you'll receive a refund for AND you'll be given a special permit to hunt them down like animals.

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fantastic, how many (you)'s for the 5?

2 (you)'s. You get a discount since you purchased and you're firing here.
They'll beg and plead for you to not do it and stop but don't listen to them. They're not real people.
Would you like a shooting bench set up?

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I don't think I'll need a bench setup, thanks though

Actually forget it. I'll shoot aussie first.

Good doing business with you.
You've got the range until closing time so just come find me when you're ready for me to lock the place up.

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aww don't be like that

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Alright thanks, I'll be back again.

So you ARE using it to hack the election. I knew it you dirty commie.
Now the only purchase you can make is a shitty Chink AK chambered in .22lr.

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i need the biggest fucking gun you got

Eh, is there any particular revolver or bolt action rifle you'd recommend? Hopefully something that still packs a punch but without enough kickback to break my girlish wrists?
I know they're kind of an antiquated mechanism for feeding in new bullets but I like them anyway.

I need a railgun rifle, please.

youtube.com/watch?v=w1nzCDUNf-0

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ah, alternatively perhaps a lever action rifle

Do you have a SIG 550?

Hmmmm. The biggest? Like the absolute biggest? Well I do have this one thing left over from my days when Jow Forums was a regular.
This big enough for you?
>revolver
None. They're a cowboy meme gun. If you absolutely must have one I suggest the .357 Colt Python. Enough to give your pussy wrists a jostle but not enough to make you snap em. Plus it's a very modern model. Alternatively if you have to have a .44 or .454 casull I recommend the Ruger Super Redhawk.
>bolt action rifle
No doubt the M40a5 is hands down my favorite rifle. 44.25 inch barrel, ergonomic design and that oh so nice .308 round to really reach behind the cover to ice those pesky niggers.
It's effective range is a little less than the M110 but it's way more comfy to shoot.
That will take a while. I don't just sit on those things you know.
You cool with placing a pre-order then coming back in 2 days to pick it up?
I have 3 but only 1 that's actually the real SIG from Switzerland. The other 2 are a Vietnamese clone and a Filipino knock off.

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my wrists aren't pussy
they're just very thin compared to my hands.
Being that I've broken the right one twice, I really don't want to add to the existing damage.
>No doubt the M40a5 is hands down my favorite rifle
Great! I'll take it. How many (you)s?

For your California Commie™ ass I recommend one of our specially modified AR-15's with a California compliant Patriot Pin and a Mean Arms 30 round Stripper Clip so you can go to the beach and blow your brains out.
If you're looking for a good pistol to EDC (every day carry) I highly recommend the Beretta M9. It's chambered in 9mm so you can shoot it one handed without any worries. Very minimal recoil.
As for the rifle that will be 8 (you)'s as I don't have any kind of sale going on for those. Alternatively you can get the Remington 700 for 5 (you)'s. It's not as good as the M40 in my opinion but it's definitely a good introductory rifle.

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Introductory Remington 700 it is!

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Perfect! I guarantee you won't regret it. My father trained me on a rifle very similar. They take the same ammo so you won't have to worry if you change your mind and want to exchange it.
Would you like to test your new piece in our state of the art shooting range?
We offer the only range with live targets instead of paper ones. You can choose from frogs, Cirno, anime and gays.

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Ah I see you're not into AR's. That's okay I've got something that should appeal to your tastes. You know I use to supply guns to the founding fathers. They use to bicker and fight about lots of things but never guns. Seemed they had a very clear picture in their heads that the government could one day become tyrannical and oppressive like England and that owning a firearm was a legal right to not be infringed on. Funny how years later we have leftists screaming about "assault weapons" bans right when they're the same people screaming that the government and by extension Trump are corrupt and tyrannical.
Oh well.
Here take a look a this musket I just can't get rid of. Jackson came in and placed the order but never picked it up. Guess he was too busy fighting the banks and didn't need it.

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While I wait, can you give me change for $1000 in quarters

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come to bed normie
if you give up those dangerous weapons ill let u rub my 'pistol' ;)

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Frogs please.
I like Cirno and Anime, and the gays have been pretty good about settling down lately when I ask.

Ican i have a boys anti tank rifle

Sorry m8 I got a sign. No change without purchase. I've got a Hi-Point 916 that you could buy for 1 (you). Other than that I can't help you.
You can eat my hairy gay asshole faggot.
If you make me give up my guns I'll just mill cheap lowers in my garage out of aluminum cans and shell casings.
You'll never be able to stop me from owning a firearm ever. Even if I have to hide it in my attic Ann Frank style.

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How about now?

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has anyone seen one of these before

what're they like

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Apu or Pepe?
I've got a wide selection of Pepe.
You mean a BAnT(boys.anti.tank) rifle? Sure thing fampai.
I'm legally required to ask you this though.
Are you planning to use it to kick the English out of North Ireland?
If so I'm required to issue you a balaclava and an Armalite with your purchase.
Eh you're a good friend SHIT POST and you're lucky I just have $1000 in quarters I stole from the Vietnamese kids downstairs.
It's under the sink in the bathroom.
Never seen it or even heard about it. Looks like it's highly modular though. Looking at the website it seems to have a rifle and pistol variant.
Sorry m8 I don't carry that. You might try the Thompson website.

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SWEAT THANK YOU

I was just jokin around.
I do believe in the 2nd, though I am not sure how much value it holds when community & shared identities are breaking down fast and when there are permanent standing armies/militarization of domestic police.
Having the tools to resist tyranny sometimes only works if you act before things have degraded too much.
A smart opponent can over time make those tools meaningless.

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just want it because it looks pretty and was important in 1 season of fate

single shot pistol sounds pretty useless though

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You guys got a r93

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*Inserts one quarter for fun*

youtube.com/watch?v=o-hqxa5irTA

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Yeah, will I need an extra (you)?

For .50 cents I have a ride in the back that lets you fire a missile at any middle eastern country you want.
Yeah the dems are really going out of their way to change perspective on firearms but I don't think they'll get much traction. When you look at California and how cucked they are you start to realize regulations like all pistols need to have a means to stamp their casings after firing to identify the weapon when the technology doesn't even exist are a thing you start to see that the prospect of regulating firearms any further than they already are is stupid.
Let the people have Armalites and let the military have drones.
You know they make single shot break actions that fire shotgun shells? Imagine pulling that on a nig.
Sure do but only in .338 Lapua. Is that cool with you?
Not at all. I just need to make sure I give you the standard issue balaclava and an AR-18. We've got a special on flamethrowers in the back and....nail....erm.....((((fireworks)))) in the basement in case you really want to go all out.
Sale is 3 (you)'s for the flamethrower and 10 for 10 on the nail ((((fireworks)))).

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Show me the way

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Here's three (you)s for the flamethrower

Yeah .338 lapua fine

I would like to purchase one warship, please

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*leads you into the back*
This is where I keep all the fun stuff. Grenade launchers, RPG's, miniguns and everything else they won't let me sell out front.
Just give the money to Nan the cat girl and she'll show you how to operate the controls.
It's coin operated so....you know just have fun with it. The whole thing's endorsed by the US Navy.
Careful the release on this thing is just a valve. The trigger is set for the igniter.
Is there anything else I can get you? Guinness? Maybe a free united Ireland?
Alright now remember the .338 IS NOT compatible with the .308. Just because it fits doesn't mean it's gonna go into battery and fire properly.
Now I have to ask...are you going to use this to try to shoot President Trump?
If so I have to give you Hillary Clinton's home address.

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*Uses everything and starts WW3*
And here comes the war profit, normie.

youtube.com/watch?v=ea2WoUtbzuw&t=292s

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Kitchen....as much as I'd like to sell you the whole warship (because it's very cute) I can only legally sell you the Vickers 14 inch/45 naval gun by itself. HOWEVER I can setup a buyer for the rest of the warship without the guns, sell the guns to you and attach them in the dry dock out back.
Also I have to warn you this particular weapon has had a goat on it. I hope that's not a problem.
....good job SHIT POST. Now I'll have even more customers. You did exactly what I thought you would. My trust in you was well placed. What did it cost you like 10 bucks?

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Hmm..... Let's get the ship first then we can look at armaments

*Looks at the broken quarter machine, Looks back you*

Yes

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I'm not picky. Frogs are frogs.

Sorry man I don't sell the ship here. You'll have to find that somewhere else. I do have one that has been docked because it's in extreme disrepair from excessive use but I can't legally sell it to you in that condition.
If you're willing to sign a waiver I can sell it to you under "scrap" but there's no warranty and the guns are completely fuckered.
*looks at broken quarter machine*
.....you wanna try your hand at Whack a Fag? We give you a sledgehammer and put a bunch of fags in a room with you.
Alright I'll set you up with 5 rare meme war Pepes. They seem to be pretty popular.

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Nah I fine with trump but I like him to remove the russian ban so I get for nugget ammo

Alright lets go

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I'll take it. It will mean more to fix it up myself.

So long as you don't use it to try to shoot Trump or try to shoot me I could give a damn. With the .338 you will be required to shoot at least one Mexican on your way home from a spot no one will notice.
Enjoy your purchase.
*hands you a sledgehammer and shoves you into Jow Forums*
Cool cool. Sign here, here aaaaand here. Congratulations you've bought your first warship. I've got tools in the dry dock and you can fight the Vietnamese kids in the basement for scrap metal.
That will be 10 (you)'s. Alternatively I do accept most crypto except LINK and NEO.

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*BONKS ON THE HEAD*

*mag dumps on you then pokes your lifeless bepper*
Hmm....I expected more. I'm disappointed.

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I'm still alive

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I'm gonna cash in my past (you) credit and my purchasing you a game. I believe that should be sufficient payment for this broken ship