Confession Thread

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I've been feeling more and more pissed with my dad, his constant shit-talking of anything I do, and the fact that he gets angry when I chat shit back, effectively forcing me to take it in silence.
I'm gonna fucking lose it.

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This board is starting to make me reconsider this whole priest thing.

I make bait threads, rename some of my reaction images to image.jpg, pretend to Nazi or commie if I feel like pissing someone off, I'll pretend to be a 2016 election newfag who knows goes on other boards complaining about the lack of flags, I'll post loli to continue pissing off moralfags, I'll switch to a Canadian VPN and rant about being progressive. The list could continue, but it's still too much. I do this out of pure boredom and I just love making anons believe they are being shilled.

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Violence within bloodlines is to be frowned upon, my child, though it may sometimes be that the father abuses his God-given place. Aye, perhaps such abuses should be heard in silence, for the most hurtful rebuttal is to prove them to be lies with thine actions. Go in peace, my son.

wew
>LaD

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I talked badly of... jews. *cries*

umm im bi or something like that. how can i get rid of it?

>The second you step in the booth
Oh, Christ. It’s you again. Yeah, I know who it is, I could smell you the second you walked in. Jow Forums ban you again, retard?
>I make bait threads
Everybody makes bait threads, I’ve got people with actual issues here, hurry it up.
>rename some of my reaction images to image.jpg
You are literally hurting nobody but yourself.
>pretend to Nazi or commie if I feel like pissing someone off
Communism is a sin, my child, and perverting the world by masquerading as some pinko faggot is-
>I'll pretend to be a 2016 election newfag who knows goes on other boards complaining about the lack of flags
Get out of my confession booth and stick your fucking head in the holy water until you start seeing holy black spots.
>I'll post loli to continue pissing off moralfags
Wretched misuse of God’s given artistic abilities. Leave all of your loli hentai here with me and be gone.
>I'll switch to a Canadian VPN and rant about being progressive
A drop in the ocean, my child.
>The list could continue, but it's still too much. I do this out of pure boredom and I just love making anons believe they are being shilled.
My son, you need to yield the little time you have to greater pursuits. Volunteer your time, or write poetry, or spread the word of our Lord, but not before halfway drowning yourself in the holy water, you little shit.

God is not real

Good. Here, have a candy and be on your way, my child. Stride forward in the glory of our Lord!
Seriously or are you just making that up?

Neither is Satan, but here you are sucking his dick. Get out of my booth, hethan.

im serious. i like boys. enough so i get boners :(

I want you to carefully consider this next question, my son, because my answer will be greatly affected by your situation:
Top or bottom?

Who said anything about Jow Forums father? But it should be known that /ss/ the highest form of God's given artistic abilities

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bottom.

I sniffed my aunt's entire pantie drawer and wore all of it while jacking off to trap porn including tgirl hentai over a period of 4 weeks. I'm still straight tho, was just meming at first but it got weird real quick. Do I have the gay?

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>/ss/
I don’t care how superior your taste in hentai is, you’d better count your prayers that the state doesn’t allow us to burn people at the stake anymore.
>
Okay, have you comfirmed this? As in, have you been fucked before?
>I’m still straight, tho
I come bearing dark news for you, my child...

i havent fucked before. but i have bad urges for it.

I'M SICK OF MASTURBATING, I DON'T WANT IT IN MY SYSTEM ANYMORE, IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT AND DOESN'T LET ME ENJOY THINGS AFTER I DO IT

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I'm always really rude to Normie whenever I see him and use my education in psychology to analyze him and berate him based on what he's said about himself in the past. I think I do this because to some degree I see myself in his posturing and it makes me uncomfortable because a lot of that came from me being sexually/physically abused by my brother when I was little.

huhuhuhhuhahahaha

Offered my little sis to suck my dick. She refused.

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being rude to normie isn't a sin its an obligation

Liar. I don’t believe you. Come back when you’ve got cum dripping out of your loose butthole.
My boy, you must fill your time with more pressing pursuits. As you well know, God has deemed this act of self indulgence to be a sin, and thou shall know it as a sin by the way that self pleasure turns to self pain.
youtu.be/TIDShT8cb4g Fifteen times on loop.
Then, pursue gains in physical fitness each time you consider masturbatiry practices, and listen to God’s chosen music once again.

Yeah but I'm drunk right now and I'm admitting to always feeling a little shitty after doing it

>I post on Jow Forums.
>I have feelings for an animated character. I don't even like the movie she came from. but I keep thinking about her

uhh ok so im not sinning. well i will come back if that happens. thanks for your advice but i think one should always listen to others while critic with ones own. im not really agreeing to you :)

Lole actually this. I haven't even played the game she is in.

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thats ok user. i have the same. i think everyone is capable of developing feelings for animated characthers. its not bad at all :)

God hands us many things in life, my son. Sometimes God gives us above-average intelligence and a penchant for edgy psychology videos, sometimes he gives us a milquetoast upbringing and a stunted worldview, and sometimes he gives us brutal rape at the hands of people that we should trust. Regardless, we must take those things he has given us and learn from them, and bring only good to others with them. Rather, show normie the path to an enlightened future.
Exactly, it’s not right.
Yeah, whatever. Get out of my booth.

Dearest father, I fucked a watermelon; and I loved it.

nah. im gonna stay here a bit. i want to cheer people up here.

It would cheer me up if you left

i have heard it isnt much better then fapping. how did it go? btw its a melon. i think thats fine you didnt harm yourself or a living being

>fat,dumb blacked ritsu
are you the same person who writes stuff like that?

Shut up christcuck

Not that is some other Dane

Fine, but stop teling them that jerking it to anime characters is a good thing.
Treacherous misuse of God’s given greenery. Deep-throat a rosary before the entire congregation this Sunday.

Are you gonna touch my no-no place again, mr. priest-man?

*No
Whoooopps

You’re still here? Don’t you have Muslims to go please sexually?

I had sex with a girl who was a quarter native before.
Hitler have mercy on my soul.

oh ok umm hope we can be friends :)
anime is good to fap too. i certainly love fapping. but fapping is only a temporary solution. its much better to have sex or something like that

We can be friends if you leave this thread immediately

ritsu I kinda just claimed to have bullied you off the board in another thread, do you mind temporarily taking up a less gay persona to support my bullshit?

There are no muslims in my city.
Seething christcucks

>laughs
You know the court didn’t have enough evidence to prosecute me, Billy. Now get in my office.
>had sex with a girl
You’re already better than half the people here, user.
>fapping is only a temporary solution. its much better to have sex or something like that
Thank you for not ruining my confession session, boy.

well friends arent like that :(
umm its not just some dumb persona and why do people think im gay even if im not even writing stuff about gay?

your welcome. i just want people to be happy

Then I hope your sister bullies you, fat, useless Norwegian

im not useless and fat. you shouldnt say stuff like that.

whatever Ritsu, you've already outed me as a pretender
thanks for ruining my ascension, prick

prick? what i didnt do anything :(

also im taking up all the attention on this thread. thats bad

Okay, you get to be my altar boy. Please deal with the others while I deal with the heathan.
>There are no muslims in my city.
Sounds like my kind of city.
I’m feeling some repressed anger here.

i will try my best

There is no ascention without God, and you’re in Canada, so good fucking luck.

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Too bad that your best is pretty shitty

No it's not
It's a boring communist industrial city
There's nothing do to here beside work or suicide

Based Souls-playing Jow Forums priest.
I know, I do work out and I do have a lot of work to do in my daily life, but more often that not I find myself in my bed browsing this site when I see a very attractive hentai pic that I feel like I won't be able to get off my mind until I masturbate to it. Besides, my studies often take up way too much of my time, which doesn't leave me enough time to exercise as much as I'd want, leaving me too tired to work out and weak enough for the bad urges to take over my mind.
However I am certain that I will be cured. Wether by God's hand or my own, I simply know that sooner or later this demon inside me will be pulled out, and I won't allow myself to die before that happens. It's just a matter of when, and how much lower do I have to stoop down before I can be lifted back up.

im sure there are some other anons who tell me thats wrong. why do you hate me user? is it for pleasure? there are nice ways to get pleasures too you know :)

I was pretending to be a God

jokes aside user i don't know if you're actually Christian or just meming, but in case you're serious it's not a good idea to use the Lord's name in vain and say thinks like "fucking a rosary"

I haven't been here for an entire month and feel better because so

Take HRT and shut your pathetic, useless mouth.

here is your (you) ;3

>It's a boring communist industrial city
And like that, you’ve lost me.
>There's nothing do to here beside work or suicide
Well, you’ve got your two options, my son. Go with God!
As long as you’re not fucking yourself with a cucumber lile the last guy who was in here, you’re good. Go with God, my son, and remember the music and the gains.

Lol that’s pretty stupid God doesn’t live in Canada.
You’re on Jow Forums, dude.
Good, stay the fuck out.
I think we found your top, altar boi.

my anxiety is crippling me further and further and I'm becoming a filthy introvert

You don't need god to fix that problem. A bullet will do the trick.

no im not supposed to be bottom to anyone.
oh thats sad user. um everytime i get stressed about something and overthink stuff it usually is much better then what i think it would be like. remember that people think of you much better then you think of yourself. also its a bit hard to be disliked imo

stop that user. you are doing a bad thing now

Think of the Dane as Satan and the Norwegian as God. Good luck, I’m taking a break from this fucking thread.

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>God wants to take it in the ass
I'll worship Satan, thanks.
All hail Anzu-Satan

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its not like i have put anything there!

i fapped to furry

thats ok user. just dont do animals or stuff like that :)

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Oh ok

You just gonna be silent?
Kind of a shit priest desu

everyone should be allowed to do their pleasures as long as if they are not hurting themselves or others.

its a Jow Forums priest. we are on a low budget. oh also im God and the dane is satan.

this

Just go with what altar boi says, degenerate.
This

You’ve been here this whole time? I thought you said you were done with this fucking place.

Alright!

I masturbated to hentai and porn. Please forgive thy sins o' merciful Lord.

good job user. be confident in yourself and see whats wrong and whats right. good luck with life :)

no, I just got here, thread watcher is סld and dry

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Thank you, Magnus!
Good luck to you as well