Arume survival thread: episode the fifth

i wander around this strange place, ready to slice anyone up that threatens me.

>Say nothing
>Walk away from these fags, heading outside

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>Conquer an airport and steal a plane

look around the place and wonder why the hell im here

"hey! you know where we are?"

"no"
>draw my sword.

>Dubs
you find a snoiper roifle and ehmmu
>97
It's very foggy around where you are, no Arume anywhere that you can see
>49
even outside you can hear them laughing
>dubs
the airport you find seems to have all it's planes ready to go. Every one of them
>31
you get smacked in the face by a branch

"hey hey put that down im just asking"
turn around and walk out to another room or something

rub my face after being smacked and keep going, see if i can find anything interesting

when he turns around karate chop his neck trying to knock him out.

>SNOIPER'S A GOOD JOB MATE

>pick up tha snoiper and ahmmu and go to a watchtowar

>Make half of the horde keep expanding here and bring half of the horde with me to our homeland in MONGOLIA

>Wake up next to
''HELLO JACK''

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"who the fuck are you?"

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>9
You think that guy's mate saw you, and then you start getting shot at. Yes, he definitely did
>18
You completely miss his neck
>69
You split your horde, and go to Mongolia
>27
you get smacked by another fucking tree branch
>21
you get up and immediately fall over

>Recruit native MONGOLS for my HORDE and ask the government to join us

''NICE KNIFE''
>Breaks your sword
>Punches you
''I HAVE A DREAM''
>Raises fists into the air

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"masaka!"
>hit him with the butt of my sword trying to knock him out

>then slice this nigga in half

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shoot at those cunts with snoiper

rip the tree branch off and carry it with me
try to find more interesting things

''NICE KNIFE''
>Breaks it again

>Ignore them
>Walk off down the nearest road
>Have a smoke while walking

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>43
you recruit a fuckton of mongols to your cause, but the government says they'll think about it
>46
you grab the sword and you get an owie because it's sharp and magic
>dubs
you knock the senator right the fuck out and cut him, but the nanomachines protect him
>43
you SNOIPE those BLOKES
>18
the tree branch smacks you again
>70
you smoke a nice cig desu while walking

>Keep walking (This is where you do ur part tard, stop waiting for a low roll)

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>Jump over the great wall to invade china and form a new Yuan dynasty

>GET TO THE FOOKIN WATCHTOWA ALREADY

use my magic sword to bypass the nanomachines and kill him.
"no cure for fools..."

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try to tear it off again

''NANOMACHINES SON''
>Holds your sword with my left hand
>Breaks it DOWN
''I HAVE A DREAM THAT ONE DAY EVERY PERSON IN THIS NATION WILL CONTROL THEIR OWN DESTINY''
''A LAND OF THE TRULY FREE DAMN IT''
''A NATION OF ACTION NOT WORDS''
>Punches the Samurai
''RULED BY STRENGTH NOT COMMITTEE''
>Punches him again
''WHERE THE LAW CHANGES TO SUIT THE INDIVIDUAL,NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND''
''WHERE THE POWER AND JUSTICE ARE BACK WHERE THEY BELONG,IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE''
>Punches the samurai several times

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>64
you come across the samurai and senator big dick while walking
>8
you get to the top but then trip and fall down all the fucking stairs
>30
you miss him somehow
>5
the branch smacks you twice this time
>85
you conquer the fuck out of China and they all get Genghis Khan PTSD
>84
you punch his sword away and start beating the shit out of the samurai while lecturing him on your political views

>Move on to north korea and make them our vassals

rip it off with autism power

>Kill myself

>seppuku

"Hey, samurai man, what are you doing that for?"

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"thisu faggotu won't reave me aroneu. so annoyingu i need to do sepukku."

"Call me sSnake."

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"I meant Snake."

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''WHERE EVERY MAN IS FREE TO THINK---TO ACT---FOR HIMSELF''
>Punches the samurai
''FUCK ALL THESE LIMP DICKED LAWYERS AND CHICKEN SHIT BUREAUCRATS''
>Punch him again
''FUCK THE 24 HOUR INTERNET SPEW OF TRIVIA AND CELEBRITY BULLSHIT''
>KEEP PUNCHING
''FUCK THE AMERICAN PRIDE,FUCK THE MEDIA''
>PUNCH AGAIN
''FUCK ALL OF IT''
>Kick him
''America is diseased,rotten to the core,there's no saving it,we need to pull it down by the roots,WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN,BURN IT DOWN''
>Punches again
''AND FROM THE ASHES A NEW AMERICA WILL BE BORN,EVOLVED BUT UNTAMED''
>Keeps kicking him in the ground
''THE WEAK WILL BE PURGED,AND THE STRONGEST WILL THRIVE,FREE TO LIVE AS THEY SEE FIT''
''THEY'LL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN''
>GIF Related

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Rolling, name is PD

>93
North Korea crumples to your military might
>30
you fuck up killing yourself too
>98
you do that
>14
the branch smacks you again
>dubs
you kill yourself so hard you die
>42
you miss a couple punches and trip on the Samurai while trying to kill himself

''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA''
>DO IT AGAIN

"niceu to meet you snakeu. i am ichimasukaryukihanatamomo aki."
>dies

"fuck this"
go find a gym

>Invade south korea and begin building a fuckhuge bridge to japland.

>new character
>WAKE UP

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a little girl as you once again type your little kot thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Jow Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" cat making a funny face, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Jow Forums posting about a fucking cat. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Kotfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "ID WITH KOT IS KOT ID WITH KOT IS KOT" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

"Call me Snake."

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>Destroy libtards with facts

''CAN'T RUN FROM ME JACK''
''where the hell you've been for 4 years?''

"FUCK! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE DUDE!"

''I'm willing to negotiate jack,but i need one thing from you''
''THE CHILD SOLDIERS JACK,I NEED THEM''

"I bet you'd like to know. I'm looking to gain control of the Sword of Damocles, so I can bring an end to this corrupt world... You wanna come?"

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"NIGGA I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! I'M NOT JACK! I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILD SOLDIERS! MY NAME IS HANATAROKASUKIMASAKATADAKORO AKISAMATSUTOROICHI."

''YES''
''LET'S END WAR AS BUSINESS''
''YOU KNOW THAT FULL WELL JACK,YOU DESTROYED MY CHILD SOLDIER FACTORY''
''I NEED THEM BACK''

"fine i am jack... and i'll gib them back..."
>gibs you the child soldiers from my backpack.

"Alright..."

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''THANKS JACK,ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A GOOD KID''
>Goes for a handshake

>handshakes

>Shoot these fags

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>Suddenly the Arume empress, named Akiwashitidesunakushgoochishininusenta Naninomoshinakawaiisenpaiyashi descends from the sky and unsheathes a sword larger than her, going through a magical girl transformation that lasts the entire day. Then she laughs evilly and explains her entire plan to everybody

>Look up at her
>Casually say:
"Call me Snake."

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>fuck this shit
work out at the gym.
do DEADLIFTS, SQUATS, BENCHPRESS, DUMBBELLS
get ripped and swole

>she teleports behind you and hits you across the entire country, then teleports to you in air and hits starts beating you up with very minimal animation, and knocks you all the way back to where you were
"Ahaha"
>She says, nothing she says actually synced up with her lips
"You are no match for me, bakana! I will defeat you all until you lose!"

>rape

"n-nani!?"
>be ready to draw my sword if she attacks

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"Heh, you've done it now..."
>Draw my pistol
"We have to set aside our differences and work together if we want to survive."

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"Lets do it."

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>she punches you across the planet, and you land right behind her
>and she does attack, slashing at you at 30 million slices per second
you do that I guess or whatever fuck me

kot id

"It's worth a try"

use the CHAD gaze
"ay baby, you want some of this?"

''Alright big fella''
>Punch her

>Shoot at her as everyone else attacks her

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>she ignores you
>you punch her, creating an explosion that knocks down mountains 50 miles out, yet everybody around only gets a bit of dirt on them
>you shoot the fuck out of her, and she makes anime noises

jump over to her and do the CHAD TACKLE