I think I'm going insane...

I think I'm going insane. I've become so love starved that I've started seeing a girl appear in my head and start chatting with me. In a way its comforting to have someone who fully understands me but at the same time this cant be healthy. What do Jow Forums?

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that's not loneliness, that's mental illness
seek help

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what

Succubus

what's she look like?

I live like that for entire of my life. I even have go on with a romantic walk in my head then I have sex with the girl inside my head

She's slightly shorter than me, roughly 5'8. Shes has the cute bob haircut with jet black hair. Her eyes and kinda greyish with a stylish application of eye shadow. I typically see her in a ribbed tutleneck with a high waist skirt. She looks pretty young though, roughly 18 years old. To be honest shes pretty heckin cute.

like this

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seek help or buy rope

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based and cutpilled

dang your imagination is vivid

go on tinder and look for someone vaguely like that think of it as a sign or something

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you've reached the deep end lad

Honestly I was hoping I might be able to hit up a friend of mine for shrooms or something so I can properly hang out with her. He goes to alot of parties so I might even find someone like her there. God might be saying something to me here. Ive never taken drugs though so I feel like I'm swallowing my pride a bit here

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take double what he gives you and go off the deep end lad
it'll like, totally be good for your soul, man

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Be careful with that sort of stuff mate.
Like playin with fire, don't underestimate it.

have you fucked her yet
or are you such a beta that you even get friendzoned in your own mind

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If I must be honest, she first appeared to me while I was nutting. Kinda embarassing really.

haha imagine going insane and hearing voices in your head
lole what an idiot

sook my coke

please go back

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How was it that she appeared? Do you jack of to her?

I was jerking off, depressed because I saw another one of my friends get some. I was finishing off when she appeared on top of me the moment I busted. Now usually this happens when I jerk off but usually the girls disappear. This time shes stuck around and now I always see her when I'm in the mood. Whenever I'm talking to people or doing something shell appear and give commentary on everything. We typically just talk shit about people I cant stand but never have to nerves to talk shit about in reality.

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it isn't a big deal m8

hoist your self esteem on something better. go learn boxing or something so you can be proud of that

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uhhhh user....

What?

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Suck my 16cm tiny dick

I aint gay son. Begone

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Are you a neet?

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seek medical help

technically you're somewhat gay because you're "in relationship" with something made up by a guys mind

People on Tumblr call these repeated hallucinations "headmates". However, this sounds like some fucked up mental condition caused by a lack of human contact.

let me talk to her

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What you wanna say?

Does she consider herself to be autonomous

She knows shes heavily influenced by my own feelings and thoughts but she still considers herself happy. Shes of the opinion that happiness is always worth the lack of complete autonomy.

I feel like this is your self conscious trying to compensate for the lack of friends and push you get actually go to a therapist or tell family of loved ones not even joking

Do you control when she shows up or is it random

Nah. The least what I need is my family worrying about me. As for her appearances usually I can get her attention when I want to although I more strongly see her when she makes herself apparent, usually when I see something in the world that reminds me of her.

Do you ever want them to go away but you can't get them to or more importantly do you have gaps in your memory

Nah. I like it when shes with me. We always have something we can talk about together and even if we dont, we just sit in silence with each other. Unfortunately, I only see her in short bursts so usually our time ends before much can be done. As for gaps in my memory I dont think so.

It might be a form of split personality disorder i think it has a name but I can't remember

And does she have a name you call her? And I suggest you start writing a journal of your interactions with her but keep that shit locked up

Eh, maybe. This is only a recent development so only time can tell. I havent really had anything bad come of it so unless some adverse effects take place im not really down let go of her. Its nice to have someone who understands you the way only you do be with you. She does have a name as well, its Madeline. I tried calling her Maddy once but she got upset. Ive attempted drawing her once but since im a perfectionist it didnt come out right and I threw it away. I've contemplated recording the things we say to each other, heck, I even wrote to her once.

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She got upset like she doesn't always agree with you do you ever argue or at the very least dislike things the that each other likes that could be more evidence of them being a "separate entity" or different personality of maby e that's just what you like in a girl

You involuntarily created a tulpa?

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Me and you need a way to keep in touch I'm so invested in this story also from this point on I'm changing from an user to the therapist

I'm here to help as well
I strongly urge everyone involved to meet me in my cellar for further study

Damn dude hit me up later

Don’t mind me, just here to collect notes.

I assure you the buttsex I provide is strictly sadomasochistic in nature and therefore not gay

stop playing celeste and stop rping

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Damn either he dead or hes typing a super damn long response to my last question

or both

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Maybe once a week ill hit Jow Forums up with some stories about Madeline. Ill be honest, the things we do are pretty mundane, its mostly just her hearing out my complaints or commenting on the things in my daily life. Although its pretty cute when I start looking at other girls, she'll subtly jab at me out of jealousy, even now shes sulking that she cant stop me from writing this. Shes a fun one to tease

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Either way, I’m interested

I'm calling it. This is gonna go downhill fast and end up with bodies. But at least it's something interesting ever since schizo romanian disappeared

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I wonder when the madman will return.

This summer she love story of a life time one batshit crazy guy in a padded cell and his hallucination girlfriend anyways you said she'd jab you you feel it when they touch you?

Although right now shes quite happy that people other than me are talking about her. Even now i have a dumb smile on my face

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when or if
there was no reason to believe he wasn't living in a genuine freeform mental facility

Does she know what people do in this site ? Because I wouldn't want this site talking about me

They would have web restrictions

Shes well aware, we practically share the same memories but shes fairly sure yall are alright

cute!

Well maybe they have limited internet time but the IT departement is kinda shit and they just don't block things like Jow Forums
Who the fuck knows that guy was pretty good at keeping everyone guessing

Do you feel it if they touch you (I'm not trying to be sexual here) ps if there is anything sexual going on the would be helpful feedback too but kind of fucked up in a way your fucking yourself

Pd have any ideas on what this could be?

Ill be honest. I cant really feel the sensation of her touch in reality. I did see her appear in my dreams once though. We were cuddling in bed together and I swear I could feel her touch and warmth. It was a very nice dream

For the purpose of research can you try to make her angry?

Could be some attention whoring, could be something else, maybe some anxiety.

Embrace it! Have you ever heard about tulpae (or tulpas, whichever plural you prefer)? You may just have accidentally created one, it happens sometimes. Read about the stuff, if you'll have a good attitude towards it, you're gonna be delighted that this happened to you. You're so fucking lucky, OP.

which i would happily keep reading Even if it was debunked it's still a great story

I dont really what I can do to make her angry. I think just ignoring her existence makes her angry but I dont really want to do something like that to her. As I said, the most Ive done is light teasing.

Why are you afraid of making her angry op

Im not afraid, I just think thats mean for the sake of an experiment

I have a frein d who's a real therapist i can ask him what he thinks

Also does she ever scare you or have you felt uncomfortable while she's with you

Nope.

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And what does she think of user am I being to pushy btw what should I be calling you?

trips

I'm starting to think mabye Madeline excuse me if I got it wrong might be a way to express emotions that you haven't fully convinced yourself yet or not very confident about pls finish the first question to help me with this theory

Do you have any other freind s then her or do you not spend much time with other people

Shes taken quite an interest with the things you have to say, if anything shes very curious about this entire thread and what it will have in store for the future. Although she was a little miffed when you asked me to make her angry but other than that shes been fine with everything said so far. As for friends, strangely enough I do have quite a few although, and I think this a strong root for her appearance, they all have some significant other in their life and a lack of that left me with a feeling of being left behind (Im KHV). I dont want her to feel like a cop out though.

Now I know this may sound offensive are you going to try to get treatment for her or have them stuck with you for the rest of your life and you can't hide it forever eventually your going to mess up and talk to her in public and people will start asking questions

For now I dont have any plans for setting treatment. I doesnt really matter to me much if it gets found out. At most ill just get funny looks which really I couldnt care less about. Ive mostly only talked to her in my head. She can get a bit distracting though when Im trying focus on something and she appears; naturally I want to see what she wants. Sometimes I even take a breather from talking to my friends to see what shes up to. Usually I put my earphones in to block out my surroundings.

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I'm going to be honest it everything is true that you've told me they are going to throw you in the Looney bin and drug you until she's gone

jesus u people need a hobby

Ima suck yo cock 20 dollars pay up

No one has suspected anything of my mental health and I've done good so far as to maintain that. They cant force me into hospital anyway without me resisting. On the surface I am a very normal person, of the least suspicion of problems. I should be fine

Has she been with you since you started this thread and if so what's the longest she's appeared

Shes kinda popped in out for this entire thread. Usually for when the questions get exciting(?) she'll stay for a bit longer. The longest I interacted with her was when i was laying down on a bench, listing to music. She just sat by me and had a chat.

Tell me a detailed description of the first couple times she showed up

The first time was when I was jerking off of course. But remember I think it was the next night my head was swirling with thoughts of how all my friends were getting ins and how I wasnt (introspection and going over situations is how I cope). She appeared laying down next to me but didnt really talk to much, it was mostly just me talking to her with little response. Over time we started holding longer conversation. She never actually told me her name though. For a little while i tried to think of her name but it never felt right until Madeline just popped into my head and and felt right. Shes been fine with it since.

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You werent panicked at all that you just saw someone appear?

Not really. It was kinda in a strange state where she was still very much just my imagination. She didnt even have form back then but slowly shes been building herself more and more. Its as if the personality was there before her. In a way its still kinda like that but now she feels more sentient and has form.

Well I've been asking so many questions about you do you have any questions about me it would be welcomed if your freind chipped in to

I'm curious as to how often you do this kinda stuff. Is it a hobby kinda thing or is it professional. As for Maddy she wants to know if you know any other people like her, only being seen by their creator.

I'm calling it, op is larping for attention and not actually crazy.