Dear Australians:

Had this cunt hanging around last summer, probably more will show up now its warming up

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> feet

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I don't get why some people are scared of small spiders. If it's smaller than your hand spread out then you don't have anything to worry about. Fuck, even if it is that big then it's not hard to remove/kill.
Have a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up.

She's friendly, she's seen me feed her and knows I'm helping her. Also, she stays in the bathroom and I keep the door closed, only really worried she'll bite me on the toilet but it doesn't seem she leaves her corner in the window where she guards an air hole to the outside which is potentially how the bugs are getting in.

That's a little bigger than what I'd consider useful.

Mine eats some sort of scum eating moth thing. I don't know what these bugs are and I don't trust anyone saying they're safe, pretty sure they gave me some disease.

People bitch about spiders biting them, but they don't unless you get in their space. There are bugs that'll give you diseases nastier than a little necrotic bite.

Bruv.

I'm a guy.

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spoiders are generally cool. even redbacks and suchlike just like to be left alone. any excess the geckos seem to clean up. and around here any excess geckos get cleaned up by snakes. pretty sure i have an amethystine python in my roof. ive only seen his tail. might be an olive. he wont fit inside my computah so not worried

Fucking hell.

My house is full of spiders. Sometimes they build their webs in inconvenient places like across my bedroom door opening or startle me by repelling down in front of my face when I'm on the computer. Just this morning I had to detach a particularly strong web strand connecting my kettle with the used tea-bag receptacle. I try to keep my bungalow as dark as possible but when I put the lights on or open a curtain I can see multitudes of webs and fillaments covering the ceilings and upper walls. God, I yearn for death.

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The ones I have will seek you out and bite you, usually while you're sleeping or lounging. Non venomous , but the bites itch 10x more than a mosquito. The garden spiders I hand feed have gotten to a point [literally 10 generations] that when they see me, they come out of hiding and wait in the middle of the web for me to give them something. They have no problem crawling on my hand and chilling out either, pretty cool desu
Pic related 1/2 is the most common, pic 2/2 is the type that get real large

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I had a wolf spider or something nest in this big screw-hole gap in one of my speakers, probably because I completely switched over to using headphones.
Fucker nested there and then one day I walk in my room and there were tiny spiders everywhere.
I was vacuuming the fuckers up for a week.
I used to be cool with spiders, but you get anywhere near my computer and I will fucking end you

I think thats the wrong spider, but they look similar just smaller

Good question Anglo leaf brother. First I have to point out that most of the spiders here are the size of a large Alsatian dog. So penetrating a computer is not hat much of an issue. I guess if you did have pussy-ass Canadian spiders that were small enough to enter your PC it might be an issue. If it was me I would get a Bilby and secure it inside my pc.. they eat insects, problem solved, your welcome.

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>The spiderbender.
Wait, so that one spider you are talking about would bite me even if I don't move or act aggressively?
Holy crap.
Are there any venemous spiders that do this?

Yeah he looks like a cunt

What if it jumps on your face?

worst part is he fuckin moved into the toilet for a week, right at face level.

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You flick it off.
Who in Australia hasn't had one of these drop on your face or walked into a giant web of an orb weaving spider face first.

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lel. in a month or so ill have green tree frogs in the cistern. snek fcking loves them, so you need to make sure a snake isnt poking its head out the bowl when you shit. once had an about 9 ft olive watching me every time i took a dump. disconcerting

>Seriously I would be more worried about something like pic related happening myself.

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eeew red belly blacks. cunts of things.

How do you get rid of something like that? it'd make too much of a mess to whack with a news paper. If you set it on fire it would run and spread the fire all over the room before dying. Can you just grab its back and throw it outside?

nah finbro, you leave them alone.hunstmen are bro tier spoiders

I've had them just come in the front door.
It's the trying to locate them that's a bastard because no one in the house can get to sleep knowing one of those cunts is around.

Is that an Australian Silky Terrier? I own an Australian Silky Terrier

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Useless dogs, the spiders eat them.

respect and all but damn. y'all can keep that whole continent

Ants are more of a problem than spiders.
We have so many fucking species of ants it makes no sense.

From the miniature to colossal 1 cm long fuckers.
Most of them bite.

Australian Silky Terriers were literally bred to kill snakes

>you leave them alone.

Cant fathom this. Just the knowledge of having that in the house would be enough to disturb whatever I'm doing. If I see a small spider on the floor I have to get rid of it before I can be at peace

Not really because we seal our houses up pretty tight or we get a shit ton of mosquitoes with encephalitis and ross river virus in the house so spiders don't generally get inside.

I agree.. ants like warm places.. and mice.. and rats notorious for crawling into electronics and pissing on them.

Honestly, you just get used to it. Now is the time where the deadly snakes come back out, the magpies attack and the ground shoots you with spears. Pic very related. You will never know pain until you walk into a paddock of bindies.

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checked
used to work out the cobourg pen. and it wasnt odd to find strange animals all over the joint. found a 10 ft olive under the couch once, had green tree snakes fall in my dinner. once i was taking a crap and noticed a little ball of fur on the dunny windowsill. was a fucking sugar glider. took me half an hour to catch the little fucker, hopping all hibity bibbidy from couch to dresser to fan . was fucking comical.

Reminds me of my time living in the amazon...
scorpions in shoes...fat fucking snakes in the linen closet...frogs in the shower, bats in the bedroom...

My dad once found an entire family of skunks living in his work boots.

usually i look out for this when i go through alleyways at night but I've had one of these fucken things make a web across THE ENTIRE ROAD an still hit me right in the face

buy a small bird user! it will eat everything you dont like and also function as an alarm for you.

he cute

There's been the odd occasion when one lands on my face and bites me but they've only been the pussy ones.
I've woken up with a barking spider on my foot in the middle of the night, cunt made a hissing sound which woke me up and it made my foot really itchy, just flicked it off.

Worst that has happened was when there was a barking spider underneath my shirt, just roosting up to me. That genuinely made me crack the shits, ended up doing a king kong chest smash and was left with smashed up spider all over me.

The only ones I really watch out for the most are funnel-web spiders, I was flipping my mattress one time and there must've been about 15 of the fuckers racing out.

I want to genocide spiders
nobody asked for your foot you fucking weirdo

Those webs are something you NEVER get used to.

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yeah, those things suck so much that they were deliberatley sewn around the Jardine homestead up the tip there so the blacks couldnt sneak up on them at night. 3 corner jacks suck

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never really had problems with mice...I live in a little jungle, shit is pretty balanced out. Have a few tree snakes and demented owls taking care of the mice...but the fucking ants.

We have these little brown fucking ants...they are tiny but super fucking hyper...they bite VERY hard and swarm furiously...
They love electricity so you always find them around PCs, sockets, radios.

I remember having one of those in my toilet one time. just pissed on it and flushed it down the dunny, right laugh that was.

See
>you must.
>plz include your feet as well.
Oh... He wanted feet! As in, both of them! Nah, can't do that, it'd be too difficult to take that picture.

Good times...got bitten in the face one time while I was sleeping, both my eyes became swollen shut...I thought I had gone blind.

this is why we have very toxic high powered sprays
blast it with science

k then
I don't understand why anyone would want to see that though

Spiders are pretty cool. Found this little bugger in my toilet this morning. Fished him out and let him go in the backyard.

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Tips?
There’s nothing for them to eat in your computer; leave em be, harden the fuck up.

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>walk into a paddock of bindies
the crocodile hunter's lady baby?

got tapped by a white tail growing up in radelaide. was painful, no dripping flesh or anything.
now i just have shitcunt tier crocs and sharks to deal with. not that i go swimming or anything

Where do you think we are? I'm talking about my pet spider.

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what are the ones that move around rolling sideways?

Bindies don't grow in Victoria and to watch a Victorian find out what a bindy is the hard way is fucking hillarious.

>stay out of water to avoid crocs and sharks
>get killed by a cassowary

Should've cum on it

It's not like huntsman spiders are just in Australia. We have them in Florida too.

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nah burgerbro
there are a number of dicotyledon ground cover plants that have really spiky seed cases. in some species, the spikes on the seed can e many millimeters long, 1/4 inch in burger or more. hurt like fuck and will go straight through a thong

No wonder the UK sent it's prisoners there.

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cassowary are confined to a small area on the upper north east coast. mainly around tully and up past the daintree. cunts of things

Spiders are way overrated. Even Australian spiders can rarely kill you. It's just that we find them repulsive.

>Where do you think we are?
ik that's unrealistic to expect feetfags to keep quiet here but still
>I'm talking about my pet spider.
I'd murder it if I could

florida sounds increasingly like the fnq of the usa
if it wasnt for all the spics and niggers i would want to visit.

>I live in a trailer park and my trailer seems to be infested with spiders
Stop living like a fucking abo

>. The garden spiders I hand feed have gotten to a point [literally 10 generations] that when they see me, they come out of hiding and wait in the middle of the web for me to give them something.

Wait, you domesticated spiders?

Jow Forums is truly a board of wonders

Wew, they just missed Ireland. Like snakes too.

burn it all down

oh we've got those in Florida as well. they spread like weeds and are an absolutely great reminder to mow the lawn.

thank god for you guys.

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How do you fucking live on that continent. Thank god i was born in the Caucasus. I have seen a snake only once and the biggest spider i've ever seen was a ''longbodied cellar spider'' usually in the toilet. I just can't imagine having something like that in my house.

I'm pretty sure frogs invented foot fetish

I've had a tiger snake wrapped around my ankle when I was 11, that was a truly terrifying moment of my life. I was going into the shed to go grab something and he came out of the scrub, I just screamed cunt at the top of my lungs and legged it back to the house and he fell off on the way

Come to think of it I've had a lot of fucked experiences with the wildlife here

I don't know if any venomous ones will, the venomous ones around here leave you alone unless disturbed, but yes they will bite you on their own accord.
Pretty much kek
They'll even move their webs if they realize their in the way (if I knock it down or ruin it a few times), they won't go far but just change the angle or the anchor points a little

The most dangerous invasive species in Australia has to be the Sudanese in Melbourne.

Deadset, nuke Melbourne

I've known this to be the answer for a long time.

Can't you aussies just vacuum up the spiders? Are they too fast/big? Every year in summer I have to hoover up about 20 of the fuckers a week, but ofc they're a lot smaller.

its not actually.
the most venomous invasive species in political correctness. is got so out of control that Bob Carr (former NSW premier and foreign minister ) and Germaine Greer, of all people, were uninvited from a recent writers festival.

wrongthink gone mad. the LNL podcast was fuckng hilarious when Carr was asked how , if he were still foreign minister, would deal with trump. greers comments were even funnier. ill see if i can find it

youtube.com/watch?v=_4AnEt8VZDw

what exactly do you feed them?

I've got a million spiders at work, some named

found it
mpegmedia.abc.net.au/rn/podcast/2018/09/lnl_20180911_2205.mp3 @41:00

Lol white trah caker

Any sort of bugs I catch. Flies, moths, small insects, sometimes even little pieces of raw meat.