Good day, commonfolk. I, the plague doctor of Jow Forums, have returned to cure all of your afflictions...

Good day, commonfolk. I, the plague doctor of Jow Forums, have returned to cure all of your afflictions. Tell me of your symptoms.

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I'm bi wat do

Cut off half of your brain, specifically the gay part

I can't stop masturbating to futa.
I started doing it 6 or 7 months ago, and I do it more and more frequently. I'm afraid I will catch the gay. Please help

my skin's been dry and flaky and my feet itch

I’ve had multiple people come in with this problem (most of which were from Chile oddly enough). It’s quite simple. All you have to do is rub dry nutmeg on your crotch. The pure raunchy smell will deter any futas, and they will run out of the screen and attempt to kill them selves. Problem solved.

Three words: moisturize moisturize moisturize. It’s important that your skin is nice and hydrated especially during the colder months of temperate America. Rubbing lotion on your skin once every day is a good way of removing the dryness.

Self-pity bump

DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIMME THE NEWS.
CAUSE, I GOT A BAD CASE OF THE JEWS
please help

where's your novel, faggot

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Are you actually an MD?

...

Doctor, I would like to report some fantastic news to you. I went on a date with a girl (female). It was a good time. Just wanted to make sure you knew that not all of us have fallen to the gay.

I have this weird flaky shit around my mouth that bleeds when I scratch it.

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Doctor I beg my girlfriend to do me an anal sex with dd and she agree to do it without hesitation and also dress me up as a grill....

Finish your book pedo doctor

Oh, NOW you come.

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I suggest cutting off your nose to proper shape
I haven’t had hike to write anything
Who needs tha when you have a cool mask
Wonderful
Don’t scratch it
>Thailand
Leave the country and breakup with your girlfriend
No

FAGGOT

Doctor, i've come to you with my brother so that you may tell me how to treat his faggotry.

finish book

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Today I massaged a prostate that wasn't mine

You can't kiss anyone until it's completely healed.
It might flare up again later, as it never leaves your face, but when it's not active, there's little to worry about.
97% of the world's population has herpes on their lips anyways, they just don't know because it never flares up.
Under no circumstances suck cock while it's on.

General coughs and sneezes, probably due to the change in temperature. Doesn't help that i'm outside a lot.

i think i'm infected with eurofag plague (pic related; likely the cure)

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Try some blood letting user, it might help.

General where the hell have you been? The pooftahs have been taking over key locations in your abscence.

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There are too many frogfags on this board. They should all be banned.

Newfag