I've been working as a software engineer for 3 years now...

because in my experience it was high stress and stress makes me want to kill myself
the precipitating event leading to my firing was when i had to take leave from work to attend an out patient program at the local hospital for depression

obviously not everyone is as sensitive to stress as i am so ymmv

Just do what I do and start drinking

I feel the exact same way... I feel like the work I produce can be done faster and more efficiently than I could ever dream of doing... Top that with a high wage, I feel like I'm a burden to the company

I experience this all the time. My advice is to consider, instead of all the people who know more than you - all the people who know less than you. In 3 yrs you learn a lot about the internals of a company, code standards and libraries etc, and that makes you an asset. regardless of how many people could do your job better than you, exponentially more people would do it worse.

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thanks. that's fair.
i think a large part of my anxiety stems from the fact that i'm going to be moving cities soon, not related to work, and i'm anxious about the pending job hunt. sigh

You're overestimating how many people can even code at all. As in deliver working software through their own IQ and problem solving.
It's a very small group. Hence the high pay. It's not a mistake; there's an army of professionals who would love to cut the pay drastically if they could.

That is pretty cool and kinda what I figured. However how did you find the strength of will to focus on studying instead of browsing chans, video games, and other distractions? This question is open to other anons as well. How do you stay on track and not waste time?

Well firstly I needed to get back on my feet ASAP and didn't feel like I had the luxury of goofing off. Motivating to work on projects these days is harder because of those distractions you mentioned. Secondly, I would each day go to a public coworking space, where I wouldn't have felt comfortable slacking off on Jow Forums/whatever. Lastly I had well defined projects I wanted to work on.

>I would each day go to a public coworking space, where I wouldn't have felt comfortable slacking off on Jow Forums/whatever
how do you find these places? I'm from south america, not sure if we have those in my country...

>>pending job hunt
Have a job lined up BEFORE you move cities. It will greatly lessen the anxiety.

this is very real
just coming back to code after 10 yrs selling software, brain numb, skills atrophied, pushing shit uphill

Everyone sucks at their job. You probably don't suck as much as most people.

this thread makes me feel less alone

Um I don't remember how I found it. Do you have a library or coffee shop where people work from? Maybe go there.

Planning on pitching a remote work arrangement to my boss so that I can look for work after I move.

>how do I figure out whether I suck at my job or not?
When people stop relying on you to do anything remotely business critical or that has a close deadline.

fuck

Mexico here, just look "coworking space" on google maps, they are like huge offices with everything available so people gather to actually work, they are not that hard to find, otherwise just go to a library as OP said

see TelmexHub and Startup Mexico (pic related) as examples

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Listen to me OP, nobody in this fuckign world has a clue of what they are doing, they just pretend to and get paid for it

RIP you

Are there any software engineering jobs where you actually work WITH people? I feel like I'm just working AROUND people and I am growing tired of it.

thanks m8.
I'm currently unemployed and have some commercial projects I want to start, but without social pressure, I don't have any fucking discipline and barely have any drive to do any of the shit I want to, so guess I'll go look for one of these places and go there.