Help a newfag find his first distro to use?

I have an old laptop sitting around and want to use linux on it. Don't know what to fucking do.

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anonfile.com/o4sab4e6b3/user_linux.iso.zip
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Install Ubuntu GNU/Linux. Pick LTS.

Install Gentoo.

Obongo is a good start

So you want us to walk you through the process from start to finish?

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so find out what to do. use your brain.

Xubuntu

just install source mage

Ubuntu MATE.
Cinnamon if your computer is too slow for it.

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here is a distro for you
anonfile.com/o4sab4e6b3/user_linux.iso.zip

um yea sure

INSTALL GENTOO

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close this tab and dont bother installing anything. stick to your windows.

Does your age consist of a single digit?
Seems so.

stop posting the reddit frog

Try installing Gentoo, even if you fail you will have learnt a bunch of stuff. It's a great learning opportunity at worst.

kek. That is gay

but it's Jow Forums culture

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not only is apu a dead meme, but you're using it incorrectly on top of that

no u

so how should I post apu correctly?

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Alright im going for Ubuntu

From your grave.

hmmmm yes quite based. Don't listen to the redditor in oldfag clothing.

Zorin OS is literally the best for new comers (basically Ubuntu with a better skin)

Seconding this.

MATE is bae.

CENTOS
BESTOS

Go for gentoo, unironically.
Read the installation handbook carefully, expect to spend some time on it, but that should not be of concern to you, you've got time.
You are going to learn more about GNU/Linux than the majority of this board knows, you that's a plus.
Godspeed user

The only choice for Linux newbies is PCLinuxOS.

I've never read a more cancerous fucking post in Jow Forums before. We're not 14 and on Facebook, you gloid.

Fedora.