Jow Forums humour

How about some internet surveillance jokes? I've been trying to stock up on them.

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Other urls found in this thread:

sueddeutsche.de/wirtschaft/hartz-iv-warum-ein-job-center-von-einem-bettler-ein-einnahmenbuch-verlangt-1.3757908
discord.gg/JaM9dbn
discord.gg/G8sCgr5
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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Here's a total normie one.

>Hello, Gordon’s pizza?
>No Sir, this is Google’s pizza.
>Did I dial a wrong number?
>No Sir, Google bought the business.
>OK. Can you take my order please?
>Well sir, do you want the usual?
>The usual? You know me?
>According to your caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with extra cheese, pepperoni and thick crust.
>OK! That sounds like it.
>May I suggest to you this time >ricotta, spinach and dry tomato?
>No, I hate vegetables!
>But your cholesterol is high.
>How do you know?
>Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last five years.
>OK but I do not want that pizza. I already take medicine.
>You have not taken the medicine regularly. Four months ago you only purchased a box of 30 tablets at Discount Pharmacy.
>I bought more from another pharmacy.
>It’s not showing up on your credit card.
>I paid cash.
>But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.
>I have another source of cash.
>This is not showing on your last Tax return. So you got it from undeclared income source?
>WHAT THE HELL!! Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet where there is no cell phone and no-one to spy on me.
>I understand Sir but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago. Bye!!

>this is what stallman actually believes
Maybe in burgerland, but I live in a first world country where corporations don't own the healthcare system among other things.

Oh right, much better for your government to have that information

>>I have another source of cash.
>>This is not showing on your last Tax return. So you got it from undeclared income source?
>you can't have a hobby that can create income without paying tax on it
AMERICA!

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me on the left

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Astonishing how many people here seem to be stuck at the mental level of a 16 year old.

>mental level
you mean age?

to be fair you can't in Germany either
someone was begging in front of an unemployment center, and the state said he had a stable business model by begging there and had to sign up a company

just like... wat

SMBC is utter leftist trash.

Do tell? I can't say that I've ever noticed. There's occasional transhumanism but that's about it.

I do "freelance" work for a (technology related, donation based) museum and have no other job while also being unemployed and on welfare, I even told my unemployment officer about it and she just said "Oh, that doesn't count", as I'm not actually working for a company. I also buy/sell/trade in hardware, mostly old, don't need to pay tax on buying something for 100€, restoring it and selling it for 800€.

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the latter with the hardware would definitely count a business in Germany

Are you kidding me? I know many people in Germany who do this as we have common interests and no, buying and selling shit on online ads or forums for personal use is not a business.

I also know people who do that and don't pay tax for it, but I wouldn't agree that it's legal. They're doing it via eBay though, which asks you whether you're acting commercially once you start selling too much.

>someone was begging in front of an unemployment center, and the state said he had a stable business model by begging there and had to sign up a company
Funny if true.

>but I wouldn't agree that it's legal.
It's neither illegal. This isn't like EU regulations on for example buying cars and selling their used parts, where you would need to register as a company or sole proprietor to be able to acquire the license (like environmental) needed to do such work. Which is basically how they enforce people not be able to do such work by themselves. Computer hardware for personal use has no such strings attached.

>eBay though, which asks you whether you're acting commercially once you start selling too much.
This is optional. They won't enforce it, it's beneficial and not mandatory.

sueddeutsche.de/wirtschaft/hartz-iv-warum-ein-job-center-von-einem-bettler-ein-einnahmenbuch-verlangt-1.3757908

not *quite* the same, but they count his begging money towards his income, and therefore reduce any social money he gets

>t. buttblasted shitposter

>t. intel shill

>humour
This is an American website, mutt

Well that's one way to curb the official unemployment rate.

Shit, I need to remember that when I'm searching the catalogue.

Isn't it a bit extreme to equate muslim child molesters with pointless advertisement?

So, you want to get healthcare without anyone having any information on you?
Do you prefer shady unlicensed basement doctors in that case?

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What's all this anti-transhumanism stuff I see on Jow Forums?
Legit what's the problem with wanting to advance humanity?

It's been a while since I've seen any of it, but to my knowledge it comes from the underlying cringe-worthy scientism and the general lack of formal education of those who are espousing it. Sure, there's arguments like "it's better to use your life well then to spend your life struggling to live forever" but generally speaking it's more down to the fact that the typical transhumanists do shit like promote polygamy or fucking 14 year olds because it's makes sense from a scientific viewpoint.

I don't get it.

I'm not opposed to fucking 14 year olds, but surely Jow Forums is a place where we see the merit of ideas regardless of source?

It doesn't matter how good your arguments are if you're a dick about it.

jesus christ what a terrible person

reminds me of that chick who claimed to be a 'designer' and wrote an angry blog post describing how she applied for a frontend dev job, and was genuinely surprised at the interview that they expect her to know javascript

nigga have you even SEEN Jow Forums without filters?

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wrong reaction fuck

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The punch line is that she has nudes online and also a cuckold of a boyfriend and also she's /ourgal/ and supports pedos

how is it possible to be this stupid and still be classified as human

Advancing humanity is impossible. Why give people bionic eyes when they will use them to shitpost or watch porn?

>advancing humanity
oh you poor misguided fool

I'm afraid that the moment I remove the filters lolis and shills will come out of the screen

>nudes

What?

Is this Jow Forums humor?

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Usually the second image in these comparisons is considered innocuous, but I gotta say both of these are beyond cancerous and are the main reasons people avoid Jow Forums.

It would look bigger if you lost weight.

These exercises are actually cool for a brainlet like me. Where can I find more similar questions? Preferably with increasing level of difficulty.

not Jow Forums discord but from /ck/ discord, but I think its fitting nevertheless

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>/ck/ discord
Why would a board that slow have a discord?

everything has a discord now

this thread has a discord

requesting barbie stallman edit (semen & cheese)

i still use mumble kid

Post discord invite link

(You)

anyone have the story about C being a volcano, some lisp or something being an enlightened mountain, and all the shitty scripting languages being crammed in the city below?

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discord.gg/JaM9dbn

>discord.gg/JaM9dbn
Invalid fampai

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They don't own the healthcare systems, they just buy the aggregate personal health records those healthcare systems offer to sell.

someone plz

Social media unironically rots the brain, she's being given rewards (dopamine) in terms of likes for being an absolute fucking retard.
To the point that she has the nerve to think her behaviour is something to take pride in.
This social media shit is one of the worst things you could do to your brain.

I forgot to also mention the general culture towards women is terrible too, women basically are given no responsibilities or expectations aside from looking pretty.
Thats why women generally end up as lesser versions of men in every intellectual way, you need challenge and obstacles to facilitate personal development, if you don't have any of these then you end up shallow, dumb, superficial.
That's why women generally don't have any hobbies to be passionate about, they never dive deep into a field or hobby, they're way more boring to talk to than men.

Jow Forumsequesting this aswell. Anybody?

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional XD

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I remember /v/ was mad to this person.

>surely Jow Forums is a place where we see the merit of ideas regardless of source
How fucking new are you? Jow Forums is a cesspool of incestuous ideologies and tribalism.

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From the same book

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sounds like surveillance to me

>Helvetica
P A T R I C I A N

>this entire post when the rest of the internet exists
>“how new are you"

Isn't Jow Forums's (You) just as bad?

>promote polygamy
The preferred term is polyamory, and if you can cope with it you end up avoiding most of the problems anyone on Jow Forums ever had.

>fucking 14 year olds
Wait, what?

tl;dr blame Jow Forums

I don't know if just as bad because people could (You) you to shit all over your thoughts and opinions, it's not too far from it though. In the mean time please try to refrain from replying to me because it might active my dopamines.

discord.gg/G8sCgr5
Here you go.

IIRC, peak female breeding potential is reached somewhere around there. From that point onwards the probability of the kid being born wrong (e.g. downs syndrome) goes up rather than down, so you can imagine what they do with that fact.

/sci/'s hated them for years.

once you have decided that "reason" rules the domain of sex and attraction, you shouldn't pretend of have moral hangups. They're done puberty, is that not the metric?
I'll think you a liar if you say something about how it could "mess them up" mentally, as polyamory does the same damage. Defiance alone of what you know to be a social norm in both cases can do damage to mental health, but there's a lot more going on to fuck you up in both cases.
If you're okay with polyamory because
>it's natural
>it's traditional
then the same cases can be made for being with the kid. We used to marry that young and have kids that young as a a species.
Both are illegal in most places, they're really similar.
If you think a 14 year old can't consent, which would make sense, I'd encourage you to reflect on the fact that it's because at their age they can't consider the long-term consequences, even if they feel like they want it. The same is true for polyamory. Do you think all parties can consent with full knowledge of all potential implications and negatives both individual and social? They're a reason tradition has established monogamy as it has. Look into it. I don't believe one can properly grasp the damage it'll do. you can't "cope" with it properly and saying you can digs a big pit of all sorts of nasty rationalization and internalized evil and weakness.
At the end of the day, to each their own. Some people can do it I'm sure, birth defect or PTSD or whatever. They can pair up and have big poly romance going, fine by me. but don't feign ignorance. That or you've not thought through your position which makes you look bad.

>once you have decided that "reason" rules the domain of sex and attraction
Oh boy, that brings me back to my youth. I shouldn't go Jow Forums here, but really, if you believe that then you're absolutely doomed to be a total beta. I'm not saying that the MGTOWs are right about everything, but oh boy, they're right about that. Desire cannot be negotiated and love is not reason based. I fear that anyone who thinks otherwise has either never been in love or simply hasn't thought it through.

Gotcha, will do

Which book?

ATF's IT Dept Orientation Pamphlet

so you're not a sapiosexual? Pleb, how can you post on a technology board

Dammit I'm a brainlet now

Was this book written by the ATF?

>Why would a board that slow have a discord?
/ck/ is currently in 28th place out of 71 for fastest board, it's not that slow.

>isn't Jow Forums X?
>no, Jow Forums is Y
>but the rest of the internet is Y so ur gay!
Thanks for your post user

Source? And holy shit, we have 71 boards? No fucking way.

"The Elementary Commodore 64" by Datamost

isn't this just bait?

Send some zuckerbergs guys

hackerrank

twiggled snowfwake

holy shit that's an atrocious color scheme

She also is/was a prostitute.